Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Faith ❯ Faith ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boy's I just borrow them from time to time and return them a whole lot happier, ne? Also I don't own the song "Have a Little Faith" either. It belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Warnings: sap, angst, death (already happened), Duo POV, song fic, shonen-ai, yaoi, lime hints.

Archive: http://gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com

http://sweetlysour.net

http://www.theforsakenwk.com/

Pairings: 1xR, 2xH, 1x2x1

Rating: R

Summary: Duo meets up with Heero during / after Relena's funeral and old feelings are brought to life once more.

Authors Notes: Yes, I know it's yet another song fic but can I help it if the lyrics to a lot of John Farnham's songs can be related to the GW universe? I strongly recommend downloading the song and listening to it to get the full impact of the fic.

// Indicates song lyrics //

"Faith"

February 2004 ShenLong

The service is over; the casket has disappeared into the bowels of the crematorium and the wake is drawing to a close. You leave the room to bid the last of the mourners good evening and I find myself alone in the empty room. The fire crackles warmly in the grate and I'm drawn towards the flames, pulling my tie free and loosening the restrictive buttons of the shirt collar. My neck is sore from where the material has chafed the skin and I rub absently at the spot.

I stop at the fire and warm my chilled body, trying to draw the heat into my frozen bones. My eyes wander over the mantle piece, perusing the various knick- knacks sitting there until they stop at a gilt edged frame. My fingers wander forth of their own accord and pick it up, bringing it closer for my gaze to scrutinize.

// See the lovers in the faded photograph, //

My heart lurched in my chest and my eyes watered a little, the two faces depicted in that picture so familiar and yet so distant.

// She's making funny faces, he's trying not to laugh. //

I remember when that photo was taken. It was the fifth anniversary of the celebration of peace, of the final end to war. We had all gathered to celebrate once again. Sensing your sadness but not knowing the reason why, Relena had done her best to cheer you up.

It was the day our lives changed.

It was the day we mutually agreed to end our relationship.

It was the day the spark inside me; died.

A small gasp leaves my mouth as I feel the weight of a hand upon my shoulder and I turn to look into cobalt blue, the color still as intense as it ever was, even if there are a few more wrinkles to the once smooth skin. I follow your gaze as it flickers to the photo, a small smile crosses your lips briefly and then, it's gone.

The gaze is redirected to my own, as you pluck the frame from my hand and settle it back onto the mantle piece, the eye contact never wavering and I am amazed that I can still read what flashes in those depths after all this time.

// Do you remember the way we used to be? //

Suddenly all the past comes rushing back to overwhelm me and I find myself in your arms, the tears coursing down my cheeks as you hold me close. All the pain, the heartache, the solace... ten years of hurt came flooding back and I was powerless to stop it.

// When love lifted us up, made us feel so free, //

The love we had shared, even if the time had been brief, was unlike anything I had experienced before...

... or since.

// How we betrayed each other, //

I feel the dampness of your tears against my shoulder, the wetness piercing my shirt to drown my skin, and I know you feel it too. My heart churns, my stomach clenches as my mind replays the past. We were so in- love, so happy together, but they couldn't leave us alone. Society frowned upon same sex couples, to the point where it was an unwritten crime.

Being such high profile people, responsible for the peace, we were never out of the spotlight, never free to enjoy the emotions we shared, unable to explore each other the way two people in love should. The few snatched moments away from the public eye weren't enough and there was always that black cloud of discovery and retribution hanging over our heads.

I guess after the three attempts on Quatre's life and the near fatal one on Trowa's for defying the unwritten law and loving each other, we mutually decided to separate.

I'll never forget those words you spoke that tore my soul from within me, leaving me empty, without life, without your love.

"I love you too much Duo to see you get hurt or suffer because of bigotry and antiquated thinking."

You kissed me then; long, deep and... loving before walking away and going to 'her'.

// Trying to rediscover,

That feeling once again. //

While I understood your logic, I couldn't explain it to the empty cavern in my chest.

I never found that feeling again, and I doubt that you did either.

You married Relena within the year. To all on the outside you were the happy couple, caring and loving, working together to uphold the peace.

Only I knew the truth.

I married Hilde, thought it would ease the pain; and while she understood, bless her, because she never once asked or questioned me. We shared eight happy years together before the cancer finally took her. The wound is still fresh from the loss, the taste still foul in my mouth.

While we may never have consummated our marriage, she was more of a lover to me than the real thing. She knew where my heart lay and it pained her to see the anguish we both were forced to suffer because of our separation and she also silently condemned the society that kept us apart with its narrow minded opinions.

// This is not the end. //

Somehow though we both knew deep inside that our mutual decision to cease our love affair would not be the end; simply a delay. We had both survived so much throughout our young lives, both before and during the war. Giving in to society's demands that two men couldn't be together seemed a hell of a lot easier than dying to make a statement.

The charade we forced ourselves into for the most part convinced those around us.

But it never convinced *us*.

You pull away slightly, I can see your mind working, fervently searching for words and then they spill from your lips to greet my desperate ears.

"This has gone on long enough. I don't care anymore, Duo. I want to be with you forever."

My mouth is too dry, my throat too choked to reply, so I nod in acquiescence.

// There's no ghost from the past, that we can't shake, //

"Let them condemn us, let them show scorn, I refuse to live a lie any longer." Heero's words echoed my own thoughts.

// Have a little faith in us, (have a little faith in us) //

"We can do this, Heero. I... I can't live without you any longer," I hear my voice whisper.

// There's no history that we can't re-make, //

"I'm willing to try."

I hear your words and they're like a soothing caress to my soul. "So am I." I turn and gaze into the fire for a moment.

// Have a little faith in us,

For all we know the best is yet to come. //

"To hell with all those narrow minded idiots," I growl. "Why should we betray a love that is so strong, so pure, so right?"

Your lips find mine and for the first time in ten years... we kiss.

The sensation of your skin against mine, the longing I can feel in the way your tongue caresses mine and once more I am a mere boy of fifteen discovering the emotion called love.

Only this time, I understand it.

// We like the wind under our wings, you and I, //

We are both the same, you and I. Neither one of us prepared to live in a gilded cage; for to lock us up like that would surely see us pine away to nothing. Hilde understood that, she knew I couldn't be confined and so she never questioned my freedom, granting me the liberty to go wherever and do whatever I wished.

But the place I wanted most to be... I couldn't.

The one person I wished most to be with.... was forbidden to me.

// We stay on the ground too long, We get that urge to fly. //

I guess Relena could also see that and granted your freedom as well, given the number of times I know you were away from her.

Now, with you safe in my arms after all this time I again feel the restlessness return, the urge to open the cage door one last time and take the freedom being offered.

Only this time I wouldn't be flying solo.

// And it seems that the grass would be more green

In any other place, with any change of scene. //

I kiss you hungrily again, ten years of solitude poured into it and I feel you respond tenfold. We break apart and I rest my forehead against yours, our noses nearly touching and whisper softly. "What now?"

"Now we make our own life, Duo. Not here on Earth though, or out in the Colonies."

I stare at you, not fully understanding.

"I want to leave all this behind, start afresh, somewhere far away where you are no longer judged or condemned for loving someone of the same gender. Duo, come with me to Mars."

If he'd asked me to fly to the ends of the universe I would have done so; and he knew it. The love I'd harbored, secreted away in my heart for the past decade came forth in one massive wave, washing through me and leaving me gasping with the intensity of it.

// Here is the love we long for, open the secret door //

"This is our chance, Duo. No more shall we deny what we feel but openly express it. Open your heart to me, Duo, as I am opening mine to you."

// And it will take us in

And sweep us off our feet again. //

It was then that I finally lowered all my defenses; dropped the mask I'd worn for so long and bared my soul, opened my heart and offered the true me.

I found myself swept deeper into your arms, your heated lips crushing against mine as we stared bigotry in the eye, defied the morals of society and challenged the laws of the Earth and Colonies.

The love that radiated from your very being surrounded me, reminding me of what I 'd been denied for so long. The strength of it overwhelmed me; but what scared me the most was the outpouring of my own love for you. While I had known I had, and always would, love you, it was the depth of that emotion that consumed me. I hadn't been aware of just how much I had missed you, longed for and needed you.

And to hell with the consequences!

// There's no ghost from the past, that we can't shake

Have a little faith in us (have a little faith in us) //

I will be dammed if I'll let this opportunity slip by me again. It's time to break free of the shackles, cast aside the chains and put to rest the specter of condescension that would haunt us.

I have faith....

// There's no history that we can't remake

Have a little faith in us, (have a little faith in us) //

It's time to make the stand, to defy the stereotype and meet the disgust head on. Despite the odds that are stacked against us I know we can do this. We made history once before....

Now we have the chance to remake it once again.

I have faith....

// There's no ghost from the past, that we can't shake

Have a little faith in us (have a little faith in us) //

I gaze into your cobalt depths and my heart surges with joy as I read the love and devotion there and I know that you feel just as strongly as I do.

You have faith....

// There's no destiny that we can't create

Have a little faith in us. //

"This time no one will stop us from being together, no one will condemn us for the love we share, for a love this strong is able to change history. This time, Duo, we will be in charge of our own futures, our own destinies and no one will dare to oppose us."

I know I moan softly at your words and bring my lips to yours, eager to continue kissing you for as long as I can. We were always destined to be together, despite what society says. And this time I refuse to let you go.

// For all we know the best is yet to come. //

'We are still young, Duo. Young enough to enjoy and appreciate the love we share, the intimacy of being together, but we are wiser now and more knowing of the way this world works, the way society thinks. We are only just finding the tip of the iceberg, there is so much more to explore, to enjoy. This is the beginning, from here on in it can only get better."

Your words serve to comfort and support me; but I have no doubts that we are standing on the threshold, about to embark on a journey that can only get better, become more intense the deeper we travel.

// And we can climb that mountain and go

Where this love has never gone before. //

Your kisses intensify and my body reacts, returning the pleasure as much as I can. Hands begin to roam over my torso, my back, my groin... and I am powerless to stop them.

Not that I want to.

In our brief time together before our enforced separation we had never dared to go beyond kissing, too scared of what society would do if it ever found out. But now....

The consequences be dammed!

// And in our wildest heart of hearts we will know

That we have been reborn. //

As your body moves in synch with mine the tears that I shed are ones of ultimate joy, of love, of life.

My entire being is taken to heights I had never dreamed possible, never realized existed and yet somehow I always knew would be there.

As the heat of our passion rises to the point of no return so I feel the last of the threads that bind me to this lie of a life I've been forced to live pull taut and then snap; finally releasing me from my torment.

And I welcomed my new life with open arms.

// There's no ghost from the past, that we can't shake

Have a little faith in us (have a little faith in us) //

No more are we bound by the ties of our marriages of convenience. As sad as I was to farewell partners, it is time to lay the ghosts to rest.

Time to move on.

// There's no history that we can't remake

Have a little faith in us, (have a little faith in us) //

No longer do I care what the human race thinks of me. I fought for this peace just as you did and I'm damn sure I'm going to enjoy it... on my own terms.

The five of us made history before...

Surely two of us can try again.

// There's no ghost from the past, that we can't shake

Have a little faith in us (have a little faith in us) //

I smile as your arms encircle my waist, I lean back into your embrace.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask me.

I turn in your arms to face you, linking my hands behind your neck. "How far we have come," I reply.

Your silence tells me you understand.

My eyes gaze out once more over the red, dusty plain of Mars that has been our home now for so many years and I smile.

We left the ghosts behind.

// There's no destiny that we can't create

Have a little faith in us. //

We took what was left of our shattered lives, picked up the pieces and defied the laws. Now, when I think back over the past twenty years and all that has happened, I am only reminded of just how powerful the human spirit can be.

We risked ridicule; we opposed 'normal' and defied the powers that be. We made our own destiny and in doing so paved the way for many others to follow.

I have never regretted a single minute of it.

// For all we know the best is yet to come. //

Each day our lives have continued to flourish and no matter how good I know my life is, when I think it can't get any better, you prove me wrong.

All we needed was faith....

~ Owari ~