Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ I Feel So Alone ❯ feeling alone ( Chapter 1 )

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(Begin)

Why do I feel so alone?
It feels like no one really cares about me.
I listen to what other people have to say.
Nobody takes the time to listen to what I have to say.
My friends expect me to fix their problems.
But what about my problems?
Why can't any of my friends help me out?
Is it because they think that I am too nice?
How about when I just need to call someone up and talk for awhile.
Why is it that I am always there for my friends?
Why is it, that none of my friends is there for me when I really do need
help.
Do I really need to keep some of my most awful problems to myself?
Do I hide my feelings from people?
I never seem to stand up for myself and that may be my problem.
If I stood up for myself and not just to tease someone then maybe my
friends would care.
Sometimes, I just do not see why I even bother to do anything.
I think my friends' minds are made up and that is not to really trust me.
The one friend thinks that I would betray all of them without a thought.
Another friend would trust me with his life for no reason at all.
And then another friend wants to keep an eye on me to make certain that I
do not run.
Even with the one friend and his trust, it does not make a difference.
How did I ever get in this position?
My friends care about me as long as I am able to fight.
They bandage me up if I do get injured, but they really do not care if I
die.
Why would any of them care?
I am not worth anyone's pity.
If I was worth pity then I would have had more help when I was growing up.
Every once in awhile, I feel that one of my friends actually does care
about me.
Who am I kidding?
Why would he care about me?
I have nothing and I am nothing.
Sometimes I wish that I was never born and that would have settled
everything.
But if I was not born, then who would be here to help them out?
Even as I hold this weapon to my heart and cry out loud.
Nobody seems to hear me or even care that I am holding a weapon to my
heart.
I forgot that I am heartless.
I do not care about anyone or anything.
Never again will I ever care about something or someone.
I was hoping someone would come and stop me before I got this far.
I guess no one is going to stop me.
I plunge the knife through my heart.
I hear something and I see a golden light surround me.

(Finished)

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