Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Music ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Music (Pending Title)

1 of ?

Author: care

Genre: AU, romance, adventure, humor

Archives: mm.org (when I remember my password =_=;), ff.net

Warnings: PG-13 for: shounen-ai, cross-dressing, BB (blond and bish) Solo ("OC," be forewarned that my OCs are weird), no research done on the part of historical background, corny magical objects (hell, corny magical plot), Duo-butt-torture (care: it's not as bad as that sounds…), mead, violin music, language, and worst of all, hick Zechsy. (o_O;;;;)

Pairings: umm.. oh boy… well… undecided at the moment… Que sera sera…

Disclaimer: I dun own 'em. Yadda yadda yadda...

Step lively!

"Six pints warmed cider, five pints mead, table five!"

"Relena! Stop flirting with the man and get table six's pitcher refilled!"

"Duette! I need help at the stools!"

"Gotcha! M'coming!" Precariously balancing two filled trays on both of his hands, he wove through the crowd, dropping orders as he went along as well as artfully dodging drunken groping aimed his way. Attempting to valiantly, but unsuccessfully, tug his skirt down lower, he sighed as he reached the counter and playfully shoved Hilde away.

"Back to your room, Hil. I'll take over the bar for the rest of the night."

"God, Duette, you're a god-send!"

"It's no problem. Just remember - you owe me!"

Light laughter from the two weary barmaids followed.

Duo didn't usually cover Hilde's butt, not that he didn't offer, but she was mostly too damn proud to let him (her? Uh…) take over, but today, Hilde had been having a rough night - a drunken man had literally reached over and squished the poor girl's chest, only to exclaim that there hardly was anything there.

Needless to say, Hilde was more than a little insulted from both actions.

Not that Duo-Duette hadn't encountered plenty of harassment either.

Usually it wasn't as bad, but it was currently busy season at Gi's Local Inn and Tavern.

'Twas late spring, actually, the usual time of the year when farmers and merchants went to fairs to sell their wares, and by some fortunate (or unfortunate, depends on your vantagepoint) it was rainy.

Which meant a lot more customers.

A lot of wet, soggy, and eventually drunk customers.

The Inn was packed with everything and everybody. The animals in the stables ranged from ponies to minks and last week there had been a trained bear, and the upstairs rooms (there were twenty-five of them) was filled completely up with lesser-nobles, merchants, and a few well-off farmers.

The extra burst of business was a mixed blessing. On one hand, Duo could be certain of fliching quite a lot from drunk patrons.

On the other hand, there were drunk patrons.

Very drunk patrons.

Very drunk, horny patrons.

His role as head barmaid ensured that the busy season would also offer extensive butt-pinching, being pawed, leered at, groped at, and drooled over. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a pleasant way to pass the day, but then again, it wasn't too horrible, mind. The practical part of his mind acknowledged that it did give him a lot of opportunities to dip his greedy-little hands into his drunk patrons' moneybags. And if he was really feeling like it, he swiped some jewelry off of the more lewd nobles as well.

So far this week, and it was just Thursday, mind, he had what would be equal to about twenty-five gold pieces and maybe thirty-two silver bits.

Not too shabby.

All-in-all, Duo had to admit that despite being continuously felt-up, it was rather profitable. And add that all onto his usual tips and his wages, and really, Duo was making some nice money.

But it didn't mean that he liked being felt-up.

Today had been trying for him too. Not quite as bad as Hilde's, but bad enough so that he wouldn't say no to chugging down a few of the pints that he was serving.

Today's get-the-fuck-away-from-me-mood probably had its roots with the early morning leering from Gi. Which was quickly followed by a more-than-usually enthusiastic pinch in the rear by said boss. And then Zechs had come by, wavered between gawking at him like a love-struck-schoolboy or leering at him like a hormone-struck-teenager (or is that one in the same?), and had far too affectionately smacked Duo's unsuspecting-rump (oh-why-oh-why was everyone going for that spot?) with a wet towel.

Gi was still fondly patting his son and proudly exclaiming that the people uptown down in Sanq probably heard Duo's depressingly girly shriek.

He supposed he should be glad that he stayed in character.

But it wasn't exactly a good thing for his manly pride, yanno?

And the day just got worse.

That new sleaze-ball noble - what was his name? Mueller? - had wandered in about noontime and had ordered Duo-Duette to serve him for the rest of the day. Every other five minutes - until he passed out two hours ago - it was "D-babe, get me another pint." Or, and he hated this one "Wench, get me stew."

Ugh.

And not only that, every time that Duo had served the perverted bastard, he had, unsurprisingly, gotten pinched, prodded, or 'playfully' smacked.

And Gi had always been lurking not too far back, snorkeling his weird little-chuckle-wheeze.

Gods!

Yanno, the inn across Gi's didn't have nearly as many perverted customers.

But then again, the lady who ran it, Une, scared the beejeezus out of Duo.

Duo tiredly handed another pint to Relena, who was looking pretty damn harried herself, and stretched gingerly. Moaning softly, he massaged the bit of his neck, not realizing the slender curve that he offered, nor how much his skirt went up.

"WeNch!"

Shit. Duo reluctantly scanned the tables and saw a recovered Mueller waving unsteadily at the braided barmaid.

"Come over hic here and bring me some wine."

Sigh. "Sir, what kind?"

"Good hic wine, ya stupid hic female!"

Rubbing his temple, Duo got a pitcher of ale and plunked it in front of Mueller.

"Here, sir. I'll add it onto your tab."

Mueller just grinned. Swaying, he let his face smack head-first into the open pitcher. When he lifted his face once more, alcohol was literally dripping off his nose.

"Damn good wine, this is."

"Yep." Duo deadpanned, ignoring the constant sniggering of his boss.

"Why doncha come hic and sit on my lap, girlie, and hic drink some wit me?"

"No."

"Girlie! hic That ain't no way to pay a treating - wait - treat a paying - wait, is that right? - hic customer!"

"No."

Gi materialized from behind.
"Duette-m'dear, is there a problem?"

"None, Mister Gi."

"Good then. And remember. The customer is always right." The barely concealed threat and glee did not improve Duo's mood. No siree-bob.

"Yes, Mister Gi."

Sighing, Duo lowered himself on Mueller's thigh and reconciled himself with stealing the glinting necklace that was hanging off the other man's neck.

+++

The day was over and Duo had slinked up to his room and was poring over the contents of what he had stolen during the day.

Fifteen silver bits and a very nice looking, though rather plain, pair of pearl ear bobs.

Oh. And the necklace.

It was a very nice looking necklace.

If only a bit… conspicuous.

The cross that hung off the heavy silver chain was… incredible.

Technically speaking, it really was too bulky to be beautiful, but the workmanship and the obvious finery of the jewels and metals left Duo frankly drooling.

There was gold weave and four brilliant amethysts and together they were maybe as big as two of Duo's big toes. [0]

Anyway, besides the amethysts, there were a few garnets and some really beautiful topaz [1]

Duo was damn sure that it would fetch a pretty penny.

Hell, any idiot would have known that. [2]

And it wasn't the least bit hard to filch off of Sir-Drinks-A-Lot, who, despite passing out with his chin dribbling saliva on Duo's now-contaminated-chest, did not so much as stir (though he did snore) when Duo-Duette had smirkingly stolen the beautiful thing and looped it around his own neck.

Now, Duo-Duette knew that the smartest thing to do right about now would be selling the necklace… but the thing was just so damn pleasing to the eye… and he swore that he felt tingles running up and down his spine when he felt the thing hang off his neck.

It was just an incredible, opulent, needlessly extravagant, but goddamn it, it was an undeniably transfixing little piece of metal and stone.

Fuck, it was pretty.

But here, Duo acknowledged, he was being selfish. He should just cash the cross with his dear friend Howard, the local and not exactly lawful pawn man, like all the other jewelry bits that he had stolen off drunk and unknowing customers.

And really, all his stealing was for a good cause; he planned on sending the money back to Maxwell Orphanage, after autumn, to pay for the clothing and toys that Father Maxwell should buy for the poor kids during the Christmas Season.

And yeah, the necklace would be great.

At least twenty-eight gold pieces worth.

That was definitely enough to make sure that he could get Sister Helen a new rosary and Father Maxwell a new gold-gilded Bible, and still have enough left over to buy some prayers for Solo.

And buy ship fare and get out of this stupid tavern and burn the thrice damned dress that he was wearing.

AN: it's a rather short chapter, but it's following my plot line, so it's okay, I guess. Nothing real funny in here… though I usually do make it a point to include some humor, this chapter was more of a plot-movement one. Next up - Heero's in the picture.

[0] … I blame it all on AP bio and Williams. *snarls*

[1] Home Shopping Network influence. Must stop watching…

[2] meh.

Lora-helen: I _heart_ hick!Zechsy too! And thanks for your sweet comments!

Athame: yeah, I posted it. Gotta problem with that?

Omake 1:

Title: Atypical…

Duo: <pissed off> "Yeah? Well I bite my thumb at thee!"

Wufei: <exasperated> "Figures that Maxwell would pick up profanity from Shakespeare…"

Duo: <affronted> "What do you mean by that? Me and Willy go waaaay back!"

Wufei: <facevaults> "… Willy!?!"

Duo: "Yep." <turns to Relena and Sally> "A plague on both your houses!"

Heero: "Hn."