Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ No one else ❯ One: Zechs ( Chapter 1 )

No one else : Zechs

~ * ~ * ~

Author: Telari

Rating: PG, just to be sure

Warning: AU, Angst, YAOI, Zechs' POV

Pairing: 13x6

Author's notes: The first of a set of three, set a few months after the end of the series. The events with Mariemaia in "Endless Waltz" never happened.

Disclaimer: Bandai, the Sotsu Agency and TV Asahi do own Gundam Wing, Zechs and Treize, not me. No harm intended. No money made.

Many thanks to Wystii and Marilyn for beta-reading this. Their comments and suggestions helped me to make this story better. I am really grateful. Of course, all remaining mistakes are mine.

~ * ~ * ~

This world is cold. I look around me, and all I see is wrapped up in mist. I can't reach out, and no one can reach me. I am trapped here, alone and cold under the stars.

It is as if I don't belong here anymore. I used to have a purpose. Something to accomplish, to tie me down to this life. But now everything seems empty, meaningless. An endless night surrounds me, and I see the sunlight no more. I roam the streets on my own, a stranger to this place.

I wish I had died. Sometimes, I still feel the heat of the explosion on my skin. But I am not scared. Those memories are mine, I earned them. And maybe... maybe if I hold onto them long enough, they will come to reality.

"Hey, Wind! Wait for us!"

I hear an enthusiastic voice and a hand grabs me. Duo Maxwell stands before me, a wide grin on his angelic face. Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei hide in the shadows behind him. There is a light in Duo's eyes I don't understand, an innocence that troubles me. "We saw you leaving the Preventers' headquarters. Wanna have a drink with us?" he asks.

I would like to. No matter how the other two perceive me, Duo seems genuine. It is like a tiny, unexpected ray of light. It frightens me. "No, thanks."

His smile is fading. Doesn't he realize I can't be helped? My fate is sealed. I turn around and resume my walk.

"Leave him, Duo. He's not worth the bother." It is Wufei's voice. He is so sure of himself... and to know he is right is very annoying. I almost go back simply to prove him wrong, but then I remember. And I keep walking.

This peace... This peace I wanted so much is killing me. I always thought it was a goal I was destined to die achieving. I never believed I would live it. And now that I am, I find myself totally unfit to bear this unmoving, peaceful world. Even the air appears to stay still, and the more I struggle, the more I keep trying to catch my breath without success. Sometimes, an icy grip takes a hold of my heart, slowing it down painfully.

I am a prisoner of war, lost between life and death. A hopeless creature I despise but against whom I am defenceless.

Nearby, a sudden cry in the night, followed by a gunshot, stops me in my tracks. I am tempted to continue on my way, but I am a Preventer agent if nothing else. Keeping peace and order is my duty. I enter the narrow street.

In the surrounding darkness I see an armed man standing before a lifeless body. He sees me, too, and his eyes widen as he freezes. And then, before I can say anything, he starts to run. I pursue him, but he soon vanishes into the night, so I come back to the body.

I don't have to touch the man to know he is dead. The hole in his forehead is proof enough. I take out my cell phone and call the police, and I wonder why the killer ran away instead of having me meet the same end.

~ * ~

"Are you all right?"

I close my eyes. Noin's concerned voice is irritating and her kind words grate on my ears. "I'm fine. You can go now. I will talk to the police, and then go home."

"Don't be silly. I will wait with you."

I sit down in an uncomfortable plastic chair. The hospital hall is too bright, and the smell gives me a headache. I was brought here along with the dead man for a quick check up. It seems that the police wanted to make sure I wasn't hurt. I can't forget the weird look the officer gave me when he first arrived on the crime scene, as if I were sick or wounded.

"Here, have this." Duo hands me a bottle of soda and sits next to me. "Next time, better come with us, huh?" Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei are near with silent, unreadable expressions on their faces, as usual. I am not sure how, or why they got here. I am not sure I care.

I try to smile anyway, but I fail. I am tired of this. Where is that officer?

"Milliard Peacecraft?"

I don't react immediately. That name sounds so odd and creepy, like calling for a ghost. "Yes, officer?"

"We found this on the body. Do you know what it means?"

He gives me a plastic bag with a piece of paper in it. Words had been written hastily on it and a chill runs down my spine as I read it.

'530, 9th avenue, ready for QR' and under that: 'To Prince Milliard Peacecraft of Sank. Your highness, he is alive. Your f...'

The letters dance before my eyes and I feel dizzy all of sudden. The last unfinished word burns into my mind while I speculate about it, forbidding unthinkable thoughts from arising. "I don't have a clue, officer."

"And you'd never met the man you found?"

"No." I stare at the anonymous message. "Can I have a copy of this, though?"

"Of course. But first I'd like to take your statement. Do you feel up to it?"

I stay silent for a second. He looks so worried... they all do. "Ask your questions."

He takes out a pad and a pen. "What were you doing when you heard the gunshot?"

"Wandering and thinking. Alone."

"What time was it?"

"I don't know. I left the Preventers' HQ about 8h45PM, but I lost track of time. Probably around 9h15."

"Na," Duo interrupted. "It was past 9h20. That's when we asked you to join us."

"If you say so. The gunshot came from a dark alley, so I entered it..."

"Were you armed?"

"Me? No. But the man I saw was. He was tall, about 175 cm, I'd say, and 75 kg. I couldn't make out his features or his hair color because of the lack of light."

"And then he saw you, and he ran?"

"Not instantly. He looked at me with surprise, and then started to run. It is as if he recognized me and got scared. I followed him as fast as I could, but he disappeared. So I came back to the body, but I knew when I looked at it more closely that it no longer needed help. So I called you."

The officer nods and writes. And then he stands up. "Ok, sir. That's it for now. I thank you for your gracious help. If you remember anything that could be of help, you can contact me at this number." He gives me his card: detective Lavigne. "I will send you a copy of the letter once it's analysed."

"Thank you, Detective."

"It's nothing. Please, take care, sir. And be careful."

And then he leaves. I don't understand his last warning. Or his concern, for that matter. "You should go rest a little," Yuy says. "We'll tell Une tomorrow. Take a day off; you need it."

I look at him without answering. He once spared my life on Libra, but it was for Relena's sake. Tonight nothing justifies this sudden concern for my well-being. What does it hide?

The safest way to deal with it is to ignore it. "I am fine," I say slowly in what I believe is a neutral tone. "I will go home now. I will report to work tomorrow morning as usual."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Noin asks. There is so much hope in her voice that it hurts.

"No, thanks."

I leave the hospital alone, but I can feel their eyes on my back as I walk away.

~ * ~

What is wrong with me? When did I get trapped in this invisible prison? Maybe it is not the world that is cold. Maybe it is just me who is unable to feel. The moon shines faintly and everything looks unreal. The mist that clouds my eyes seems to grow thicker, as if I have entered a magical realm without knowing it. I want to sleep... and never wake up.

My keys slip out of my hands to the floor. My fingers are so stiff I can't take hold of anything. I manage to grab them, though, and I stumble inside the house without turning the lights on.

'He is alive,' the note said. And it was addressed to the Prince of Sank. Enigmas in the dark. My head hurts. I need to sleep. I slump down on the couch and let my mind drift away.

~ * ~

A hand caresses my face, and I feel so calm, almost safe. I don't want to open my eyes and see it is false.

"Zechs?"

The voice is so loud... I am so startled I fall off the bed. Then I realize that I am not in my room, but in the library. And that the hand belongs to the pilot of Gundam 04, Quatre.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I stand up, my heart slowing down after the brief adrenaline rush.

"We came to see if you were all right," a voice answers behind my back, and I turn to see Trowa Barton.

"Why?" But a look at my watch gives me the answer: it's noon. I am a little late for work. "I see."

"We'll wait for you while you get ready," Quatre adds gently.

"Lady Une wants to speak with you," Barton explains.

"I see," I repeat before going upstairs to change clothes.

I follow them out of the house in silence. Quatre evidently wants to talk, but I have nothing to say, so I look away, through the window, while Barton drives us to the headquarters. The atmosphere is heavy, but I am sure it will be worse in the Lady's office.

She is waiting for me and I enter as soon as I arrive. We sit and she begins, her hands crossed on her desk, over many folders. The computer on her left is in sleep mode, its screen as blank as my mind. "You are one of my best agent, Zechs."

A very unforeseen start. "Thank you."

"That is why I must do what I intend. Don't get me wrong. I don't especially like you, I never did, but I know I cannot afford to lose you."

I frown. What the hell is she talking about? "I don't understand."

"I believe that," she says with a sad smile. "You are sick, Agent. You have been since the end of the war. I hoped it would fade away as your body healed, but it didn't." She holds out a hand when I straighten in my chair, ready to protest. "Let me finish. You may deceive yourself, but your colleagues and I have been observing you for the past few months. You've lost so much weight you barely have skin on your bones. You are pale and unfocused. You stay away from the others and won't let anyone near. Now, I know the latter is not abnormal for you; even at the Academy you were the solitary type. But your current behaviour does not compare with that. It does not compare with anything."

My heart is racing. "I am fine!" But my voice is shaky. I stand up to leave, but she stands, too, and replies.

"I spoke with Doctor Po, and we both disagree with you."

"What do you mean?" My knees are weak, but I refuse to sit.

"From now on and until further notice, you are off duty, Zechs. You have a meeting with Sally Po right after we're finished. You will schedule weekly meetings with her, and I want you to attend them. And I want you to take the medication she will give you. It is for your own good, Zechs."

My own good. She just took away the only reason I had to wake up - work - and I am to believe it is for my own good? She has gone crazy again. But now I am her new target instead of the colonies. I need no vacations. I need no doctor's meetings. I just need... I...

I am going to burst into tears. The shock of realization keeps it from happening. I bow slightly and leave her office without a word. Trowa and Quatre are waiting outside, and I can't help a wry smile. My own private escort to Miss Po's office.

~ * ~

Her voice is soothing. She talks in a low, rhythmical tone that is reassuring. It makes it somehow easier to accept what she is saying.

"...and I don't want you to stay isolated. It is not healthy in your condition..."

My condition. I didn't know I had one. She is convinced I am having a nervous breakdown. I would like to believe her. It would make things so much simpler. But to acknowledge that diagnosis would mean admitting defeat, giving into weakness, and I will not do that. Pride is all I have left, and I intend to keep it.

"...Relena."

I shiver. "I am sorry. I was not listening. What did you say?"

"I said that you have not many choices left," she repeats patiently. Her eyes are so full of kindness I can't hold her gaze, and it gives me goosebumps. "You may go to a hospital. You may stay at your home, as long as someone else is there with you and you attend the appointments we will set. Or you may go to Sank to spend some time with Relena. She offered it herself, and she appeared to look forward to it."

I stay silent for awhile. Eyes closed, I can imagine Sank. The sun high in the sky, and the birds flying across the white clouds. The large fields of wild flowers, with the ocean shining beyond the rounded hills. And Father among the ruins, soaked in his own blood. I look at Sally Po. "Who would you send to stay with me?" Who could want that?

"Quatre and Duo offered themselves, along with Noin and Dorothy. Who would you feel more comfortable with?"

That stubborn former Alliance officer won't give up, no matter how much I protest. She knows she has the Lady's support. I think of running away, but it sounds so childish I drop it. "Dorothy."

She frowns a little. "Don't you want Noin with you, too?"

Her dark eyes come to my mind, how full of anxiety they were at the hospital. How they always stare at me, go through me, seeking something I cannot give. "Just Dorothy."

We agree to meet once a week, on Tuesdays, and then I am free to leave. Quatre and Trowa accompany me back to the house and wait there with me for Dorothy's arrival.

~ * ~

Days come and go, so boring I do not notice them pass. I feel timeless, and it is a very strange feeling. As if I am completely disconnected from everything. I can be sitting in the library, a book in my hands with the sun shining through the window, and within the blink of an eye, or so it seems, the room is dark and Dorothy tells me to go to bed. My life vanishes into thin air, and I don't care.

Sometimes I go to the kitchen for a glass of water, and I realize we have guests. I once found the five Gundam pilots sitting with Dorothy at my dinner table. I greeted them, and they answered, but I saw Quatre's smile waver and Duo choking back a reply. Yuy stared at me for awhile and then looked away, and so did Barton. Wufei frowned, and stood up, about to say something, but he silently sat down again, instead.

Dorothy has taken over the guest room, and the whole house, very quickly, making it her own territory with an ease that would be frightening if I didn't know better. But despite that, I know I made the best choice given the circumstances. Her presence, as weird as it can get, makes the house warmer. She talks, talks, talks, but she never seems to expect an answer, as if she understands I have none to offer.

"Milliard! Dinner's ready!" She enters my room without a warning and pulls me up onto my feet. "You are the host, I am your guest, and a good host eats with his guest. Leave that book and come downstairs. You're not reading it, anyway."

I follow her obediently and eat, but the meal doesn't taste like anything. Nothing does anymore. Life is flavourless. Colorless. Except for red. Red is the only color that truly exists: the color of blood. It is the shade of life that runs in our veins, it is the shade of death that war inevitably brings. It is the indelible color of my soul, of my hands.

I am about to finish my dinner when the doorbell rings. I stand up and go to see who it is, and I find myself facing Detective Lavigne. "Good evening, Detective."

"Hi, Mister Peacecraft," he says, and I wince.

"I prefer Merquise, if you don't mind."

Is it a faint blush I see on his cheekbones? "Of course not, Mister Merquise. Here, I brought you a copy of the message, as you requested. I'm sorry for the delay, but... well, bureaucracy and such, you know the drill. We found fingerprints on it, but they did not match any of those in our database. And we have been unable to identify the body. It's as if that man never existed! We'll keep the file open, but I'm afraid that for now, we can't do much more."

"Thank you, anyway."

"Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee? Or tea?" a voice asks over my shoulder. Dorothy, of course, smiles brightly at the detective. Her expression is too mischievous for my taste.

"I don't want to disturb your meal," he answers politely.

"We had just finished, had we not, Zechs?"

"Yes."

The detective looks at me for a second, and then he smiles slightly. "I would like to, but I am awaited. I am truly sorry."

"Don't be!" Dorothy replies. "Maybe another time?"

He flashes another brief look at me, and says, "Yes, maybe. Have a nice evening, both of you. And don't forget to call me if you remember anything, Mister Merquise."

"I will. Good bye."

He leaves the porch and disappears into the night. We go back inside and clean up the kitchen. "He is cute," she finally says. "I'm sure he would have liked to come in and sit with us."

"He was awaited."

"So he said."

She hands me a glass of water and a pill. With time, this has become a ritual of sorts. I take them, put the tiny thing in my mouth and swallow the water while she stands before me, arms crossed.

Tonight, though, when I put the empty glass down and meet her stare, she seems about to talk. But then she turns around and leaves without a word. That sudden move, and the unspoken worry in her eyes - in Dorothy's eyes - surprises me. It makes me feel uneasy.

I get up and spit the pill into the sink. Then I go back to my room and, sitting on the edge of the window, I try to decipher the meaning of the letter.

~ * ~

Everything's silent, but I am not in my room anymore. I can feel the icy wind on my skin and the smell of ashes chokes me. I am frozen to the bone. My eyes are still closed, but I know where I am.

I am in Sank, among the ruins of the castle. I hold a gun in my right hand. I open my eyes. I am alone. I wear the White Fang uniform, but it's not green anymore. It's bright red.

Then I hear a sigh. I look up and I see no one around... except for Treize, sitting on my father's throne. "You're dead," I say, and my voice is as icy as the wind. I want to run to him and tell him... tell him what I should have said... but my legs are paralysed.

"Yes, I am," he answers, and the sound of his voice, refined and warm, and cold at the same time, makes me shudder. "Because of you."

I look down. His accusation is justified.

"Will you kill me again?" he asks, and I notice that I am now aiming at him with the gun. No! I try to let go of it, but it is glued to my hand. And he does not move... and my finger slowly pulls the trigger...I scream...

I sit up in my bed, my breath short, my body covered with sweat. A nightmare. I lie back, staring at the ceiling.

I miss him. I miss him so much his absence is a physical pain. My whole body is sore with longing, and I have no rest. Sally Po's medication would rid me of those images and have me sleep dreamless nights. That is why I will not take it. I welcome, I crave those bloody dreams. They allow me to see him one more time.

I wish he were alive... I sit up again, my chest painful. I grab the piece of paper on my bedside table, turning it in my hands and staring at it in the dark. 'Your Highness, he is alive' it says. Can it possibly mean...

It is so painful, now, I can breathe no more. My throat is too tight. I hold back hot tears as hope rises and dies within a heartbeat. Of course not. My mind is simply going astray, taking wishes for reality. It is just a sad joke planned to hurt me. Well, it worked. I crumple the sheet of paper into a small ball and throw it on the floor before lying back.

Wishes...so many wishes...

~ * ~

My existence is a continuum of pointless moments, and this mystery, and the unbelievable hypothesis it raises, the only light. What do I have left to lose?

The narrow street looks very different in the sunlight. Everything seems more defined. More flawed. I take a step forward, moving among the trash and the boxes, but I am not really there. A ball of paper in my hand, I search for a clue. But I keep my watch at hand. I must not lose track of time, or Dorothy will send the police, if not the Preventers, after me. She takes her caretaker duty very seriously.

I kneel where the dead man had lain. I close my eyes and replay the scene in my mind. The same question arises: why am I still alive?

That question seems to have followed me around forever.

My presence is futile. What can I accomplish here the police could not? I stand up, ready to leave, when a sudden flash of light catches my eyes. It is buried under broken glass and dirty from the mud, but it shines oddly clear among the trash, and a cold feeling creeps into my soul as I take it. It is an ankh, an Egyptian cross, the symbol of eternal life. It's made of cheap gold, with a little blue stone in the middle. Nothing fancy, really, just something a ten-year-old boy would give to his best and only friend. I shut my eyes as my breath becomes uneasy. Wherever I turn, you are there, Treize...

I unfold the piece of paper and hesitate. The words have no meaning, and have probably nothing to do with anything - and the police already went over there. Yet... this golden cross... And I still have an hour. I leave the alley and go to 9th avenue.

I soon discover that '530, 9th avenue' is a deserted, grey building, slowly falling into decay, that I would have ignored otherwise. Its black windows look down at me, laughing at this faith I still retain. I slide the paper into my pocket and, holding the cross tightly, I go in.

There is no light inside, and for a moment I am blind. Everything is silent. Dead.

I continue my inspection. My footsteps resonate faintly in the empty rooms and leave traces in the thin dust. At the end of a hall, I finally find stairs and an emergency door leading outside, to another narrow street. But before I can decide where to go, I hear voices coming from the basement. Down it is, then.

I walk without making any noise, holding my breath, my heart pounding. This voice is familiar. Hiding in shadows, going along the wall, I risk a look at the person speaking, and I see an old man, his hair as white as his suit. His profile reminds me of a bird of prey, with his long, hooked nose. There is a scar that runs from his temple down to his chin with a peculiar curve... I have seen this scar before...

I had seen that man many years ago. In Sank... At a reception, he was chatting with Mother, making her laugh... And I had been scared to see how oddly twisted the scar got when he smiled back to her. And I have seen that man recently... standing by Relena at a conference. I cannot remember his name, but this man is a Sankian noble. What is he doing here?

I step forward, to make my presence known to him, but then I get a wider view of the basement. There are weapons here! And young men dressed up in military uniforms turn towards me...

I hear someone starting to yell, and I feel a sudden pain at the back of my head that brings me to my knees. The world begins to spin and blur. I hear that voice... He is a count, I am sure... "What is he doing here?" His voice is piercing. People take hold of me and pull me up, and I attempt to say something but I am hit again, and I feel a brief, sharp pain in my arm. Voices, again, all around me. "It wasn't supposed... The Queen..." And the words dissolve as the world becomes black.

~ * ~

My head hurts. It pulses with each heartbeat, deep in my skull and right behind my eyes. It is a new pain to which I am not used. I am tired of pain.

"Hush, stay calm, love."

I freeze and my hands grow cold. I can feel my heart sinking in my chest and I cannot open my eyes, for if I do, tears will roll down my face. I am dreaming again, and his voice is so soft, so soothing, so empty of accusation, that I think I will go insane.

I feel his hands on me, running lightly over my forehead, my arms, my neck. My breath is shallow and my headache gets more intense, but I don't care. This dream is the sweetest I have ever had. I open my eyes, unable to hold back the tears, to hide the fear that grips my heart. The world begins to spin again, but I don't mind.

He is leaning over me, and there is concern in his sapphire eyes. He looks thin and pale, and I am frightened, for although he is near, he seems so far... like a ghost.

I stretch out my arms toward him... He is there, he does not disappear. I throw myself at him, I hold him tight, and he does not escape my embrace, he does not push me away. I rest my head against his shoulder, I hear his heart beating, and he stays there. He holds me when I start to shiver, so tightly I hardly breathe, and he whispers words I don't understand, soft and kind in my ear. My own heart is racing, uncontrolled sobs steal my breath, and everything becomes dark again, but I don't let go.

~ * ~

He is still here. I still feel his arms wrapped around me, his warm body against mine. And I am not cold anymore.

"Treize?" I whisper.

"I am here, love. Right here."

"Are we in Sank?"

"No..."

"I won't kill you." I move a little and look at him. He seems scared, his beautiful face is very pale, so I try to smile to comfort him, but tears fill my eyes once more. "You have to believe me..."

"I do believe you, love."

"You do? I am so glad..." I hesitate, I have to find the right words. "I wanted to tell you... I was afraid to, but I want you to know, it is important, you see. I love you, Treize. I always did, no matter what I did or said..." His eyes are clouded now, I don't understand why. He looks at me with fear and concern, but what I truly notice is the love that shines in them. It is not feigned, I know it is real. It has to be.

He seems about to respond when we hear footsteps and a door is opened. He looks up and hold me tighter, as if to protect me. I try to see, too, but my vision is blurred past him. I cannot make out anything but shadows, and I begin to worry. "What's happening, Treize?" But he does not listen to me; he is speaking to the shadows, and he sounds angry.

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing." That voice is cold and scornful, and I dislike it. But it reminds me... Count... he is a count, with a name that rolls when pronounced. Akar... no. Alor... Alaroff. Count Alaroff, from Sank. That's it.

"... a week! He is sick!"

"Maybe. But I'd rather say depressed, Your Excellency. Given his condition, he might have not reacted well to the sedative, but it is unimportant."

Condition... They are talking about me. I must tell Treize I am fine. He will understand. I move and try to sit, but Treize tightens his grip on me and I stop, lying still in his arms, safe and secure. Yes, I am fine, now.

"You wouldn't dare!" His whole body shakes with indignation, so I focus on the shadows. It is hard, because I feel dizzy, but I want to understand what distresses him so much.

"Everyone would conclude it to be a suicide. His incoherent behaviour lately would be of great help for that. Listen to us, do what we tell you, and he will be fine. Our plans don't include him."

I stiffen. They are using me to coerce him into doing something he does not want to do. I will not let that happens. I will not be a tool used to hurt him. Not again.

"...Step back."

I am alone, now. Again. I feel panic rising inside of me. This is not right. Something stings me at the base of my neck, and I start to struggle. What is happening? I cannot see anymore, not even shadows, and my breath keeps escaping me. Mist clouds my eyes once more, and the world darkens. Treize? It was not a dream, was it?

~ * ~

He is whispering to me. I am safe here. I don't want to wake up.

"You have to, love. Please, wake up."

I moan and sigh, and I try to open my eyes, but it is hard. My body feels so heavy... the slightest move leaves me breathless. I just want to sleep a little more.

"Please, Milliard. It's important."

It demands great effort, but I do it. My unfocused gaze adjusts slowly, and I can see his bright, tormented eyes. "What?"

"We have to get out of here, love. Now. Tell me, what do you remember?"

I frown. The temptation is huge to just close my eyes and forget about it. To curl up against him and lose myself in his scent. But Treize is serious. "A basement..."

He obviously wants more information, but noises stop him from asking further questions. I hear people entering our room and Treize looks up at them. I look too, and I see a few men standing around us. Then I remember... Count Alaroff. I concentrate. He is no friend. He captured me. He threatened to hurt me... Treize is his prisoner!

My body is not so heavy anymore, and my eyesight becomes crystal clear in an instant. I have not felt so alert in a long time, and I like it. I manage to sit up straight, without letting go of Treize, and I speak to the Count. "What do you want?" My voice is strong, almost imperial. I see him wince, and I am satisfied. He shall know that he will not prevail over me in this.

But then he ignores me and gives out his orders. "Take him."

Two men approach us and grab Treize, pushing me away from him. No! I refuse! I hear Treize telling me to stay calm, that everything will be all right, but I know that if do, if I let him go, that will not be true. I refuse that eventuality. I have found him, and I will keep him.

I struggle, and I am hit; they try to knock me out, but I resist. I refuse to surrender. I give back every blow, I fight with so much energy I hardly believe it is me moving so quickly. I feel blood in my eyes but I still see and I still battle, deafening cries and warnings surrounding me. I hear a gunshot, and somehow there are many more people here, and the chaos increases. I hear someone yelling, someone that has Une's voice, but I don't stop. And then Treize is there before me, his blue eyes wide with surprise and something else, and he holds me, tells me that it is over, that we are safe now.

I lean against him and he supports me as we get out of here. People talk around me, their voices are excited, and I feel their hands moving around us, but they are just vague silhouettes. The Sankian count shouts behind us, I hear him struggling with someone else, but then we are outside, in the sunlight, and nothing else matters but the faint smell of roses I breathe and the strong arm around my waist.

~ * ~

I am wrapped up in a thick blanket, lying on a soft bed. I am warm and my breathing is easy. "Treize?"

"I am here, love." He lies beside me and holds me. I sigh, contented.

"He's awake?" someone says softly.

"Yes," Treize answers. "Do you want me to leave?" I tense.

"No," the voice says, and I relax. "Zechs? Do you hear me?"

"Yes," I whisper. I want to be with Treize, just him and I, and to sleep in his arms, undisturbed, forever.

"Do you recognize me?"

I grunt unhappily and nuzzle closer to Treize. But running away from problems and unpleasant situations is childish, so I turn to see Sally Po sitting on the edge of the bed. "Yes, I recognize you, Doctor Po." She smiles brightly, as if I had said something very intelligent. Then something comes to my mind. "I missed our last meeting, didn't I?"

Her smile widens, if possible. "To be truthful, you missed the last three."

What? Treize's embrace tightens. "I am sorry, I did not intend to. Will you sanction me?"

"Don't worry, I won't...but I'd like to examine you now..."

She does so, and appears satisfied. I notice that I have bandages on my left arm, on my chest, around my neck and on my forehead. I have a vague remembrance of a fight... and then I sit as I recall Count Alaroff. "Doctor, you must contact Relena, and the police, and tell them..."

"It is already done, Milliard. Lady Une took care of it five days ago." Treize strokes my hair gently, and I calm down. I can't help a yawn and he laughs lightly. "You should rest now. We'll talk later."

"All right." I close my eyes, entrusting him with everything, and fall asleep with my head on his shoulder, near his heart.

~ * ~

I feel peaceful. I enjoy that feeling. It has been so rare over the past years.

I open my eyes and I find myself staring at the most beautiful man I've ever seen. His ginger hair is tousled, and a few strands shade his face. His aristocratic features are relaxed and he looks much younger than he usually does.

I lift myself up a bit to get a better view of him, but his arms, slid around my waist, stop me. So beautiful. I caress his forked eyebrows with a light finger, following down the straight line of his nose. He stirs and moans, trying to get away from my teasing touches, and a small chuckle escapes me.

And he opens his eyes, as blue as precious sapphires. A smile slowly curves his lips, going within an instant from loving to hungry. And he leans forward, claiming my lips with his. Bringing me down to him, he kisses me sensuously, slowly devouring me, and I melt against him.

"Hmmm... delicious, indeed," he breathes, holding me closer.

"Could say the same," I whisper, smiling, contented. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he answers, and I sigh. "But we are together now. And soon we'll be home."

Home... I shiver at the sound of that word. "Yes..."

"Milliard? What is bothering you? Please, tell me."

"Your home... the estate..."

"Our home."

"Yes... it belongs to Dorothy. For now, at least."

I wait for his reply, dreading it. "To Dorothy?" he says, after awhile.

"Yes. I passed it over to her at the reading of your will. I mean, we thought you were dead, Treize... even though we never found your body... We thought that the explosion..." I stop. He deserves the truth. "I couldn't picture myself living there without you."

"I understand." He rocks me softly. "Where did you live, over the past few months?" he asks.

"I bought a small house... and 'small' is the key word here. You wouldn't like it much..."

"Why do you say that? I'm sure it's cosy and comfortable. And if it won't do... well, I guess I made a good move when I invited Dorothy to stay with us. She might welcome us to the estate."

"You what?" My heart misses a beat and I raise myself up to observe him. And I am stunned to see his expression. "You're serious."

"I am. Are you disappointed?"

Disappointed? Dorothy will be at home... This thought makes me warm. "No. I am glad. She is... she's..."

"Oddly comforting?"

I nod. That's just it. Then I shake myself, sighing. My whole body starts to feel numb. "Treize, I'd like to get up."

"Only if it's for a shower," he says with a small smile.

"That sounds good. Can I?"

"Yes. Doctor Po allowed it. But nothing more."

No kidding. We sit up and, sliding an arm around me, he helps me to get up. He shows me a bag Lady Une brought for me and, after rummaging through it to find pyjamas, he slowly leads me to the bathroom.

~ * ~

Dorothy is here. She is chatting with Treize, and to see them both enjoying this verbal fencing match is very amusing, although I am not sure why she is so happy to be here. Her duty as my caretaker is over; Treize made it clear he wanted the position. Assuming I need one, that is. No one seems to take me seriously when I say I am fine, and it is rather infuriating.

A nurse comes in, with a glass and a pill on a plate. She puts it down on my table and leaves silently. Then Treize brings it to me and I take the medication.

"Now, I don't know if I should be insulted or grateful." Dorothy stands before us, arms crossed, pouting, but her eyes are bright with a mischievous gleam. "How come you obey with so much docility? It use to be so difficult to give you those damn pills. You can be so stupidly stubborn at times!"

My face feels hot suddenly, and when I hear Treize chuckling, the old urge to strangle her comes back with a vengeance.

"Don't look at me like that, Milliard. You know I am right."

How could I have forgotten her complete lack of empathy? Even if her life depended on it, she wouldn't be able to keep silent. Many things have changed since peace was achieved, but Dorothy remains the same.

It is oddly comforting, indeed.

"This is not over, then?" Treize is asking her.

"No," Dorothy answers. "It seems that it is more elaborate than we all first imagined. The Preventers are on it, though, so you don't have to worry. They are surprisingly efficient."

Treize smiles ironically. "Should I pass on to Lady Une this vote of confidence of yours?"

She makes a face, and I can't help a silent laugh. This is like old times, like it should always have been. War, revenge, peace, it is nothing next to the light radiating from these two.

~ * ~

"Brother!"

I must have fallen asleep in my chair. The last thing I remember is Treize helping me to sit here after Dorothy's departure, his words a constant reassurance of this being real. But now I look up and see Relena running to me. She smiles brightly as she embraces me, and I shiver. Her hands are cold.

"How are you? I've been so worried! I came as soon as I could..."

"Where is Treize?" I whisper. I feel dizzy.

She steps back slowly, still smiling, but there is a new light in her eyes, and I cannot say what it is. "Miss Po is with him. He will be back soon. So, how are you? Alaroff didn't hurt you too badly?"

I don't remember being harmed, not truly, at least. My pain has never been entirely physical. "I have not been tortured, if that is what you mean. I am fine now." If I keep saying it, maybe someone will eventually believe me.

"You look better, that's for sure. Dear brother... you'll need a peaceful environment to heal. Why don't you come to rest in Sank? The castle is completely restored, and traces of the war are being erased as we speak. Newport will be as new within days."

"I will stay with Treize, Relena. I don't know where it will be, but I doubt it will be in Sank."

She looks at me without a word for some moments, and I begin to wonder if she heard me. Maybe she does not understand why I do not want to go to Sank... I am not sure I do myself. The blood, the pain, the nightmares... they all come from there. And no matter how much I love the kingdom, I will never forget them. She said that there will not be any traces of the war left, and I don't know if I can bear that, to have most of my life so carelessly erased. It scares me, too. Peace has been earned, not won. We shall not forget that.

"I understand," she finally says, and I know as she speaks that she does not. That she never will. And to know that hurts in an inexplicable way. "If you change your mind, you will always be welcomed, brother. Take care." She kisses me lightly on the forehead and turns around.

Treize stands in the doorway, looking at us with a thoughtful expression. "Princess Relena," he simply says, bowing slightly.

"Treize Kushrenada," she answers, and then pauses for a second. "It seems that Brother trusts you. I hope you will be worthy of his trust."

How bold, and disrespectful! I want to stand and speak my mind, but Treize only smiles smoothly back at her, untroubled. "I will do my best, rest assured, Princess."

She leaves without another word, and then Treize is next to me. He is so beautiful. "What she said..." I begin, but he stops me.

"I know." He leans over me and kisses me. He puts his arms around me and pulls me up, pressing me against him. He trails little kisses down my neck, and my breath becomes uneasy, but it is a pleasant feeling. A wave of heat runs through me. "I love you," he whispers.

"Love you, too," I manage to say. I slide my arms around his waist and I huddle against him.

"I was so afraid... during the war, and after, that you hated me... what I did..." His tone is low, and saddened, and my heart sinks a little. So much has happened, and there is so much I regret. I used to think that almost everything was possible, in this universe, as long as we set our mind to it, and that a strong will was the primary element to achieving a goal. But I lost that belief somewhere along the way, among the ruins of Libra and Tallgeese II. And yet, now that I hold him tight, in this hospital room... now that I feel him so alive against me...

I know for sure now that there are very few impossibilities down here. And that me hating him is one of them. I want to tell him, but those words... they are difficult to say. My mind is so chaotic at times, I wonder how he understands me. "I could never hate you, Treize... It's just... I couldn't..."

"I know." His hands are all over me, tearing off my clothes. He brings me down to the bed, and I shiver with anticipation. "Everything will be fine, love. As long as we are together," he murmurs as he nibbles at my ear.

"You won't leave me?" I ask as I get a glimpse of a little Egyptian cross around his neck.

"No one will ever separate us again, love, I promise," he answers.

And I believe him.

~ * ~ * ~

Continued in Dorothy's part.