Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Push ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimers:  Not mine.  I wish they were, but sadly, they belong to someone else with a lot more money than I have.

Pairings:  1+R, 4+5, and a bunch of others

Warnings:  There be men in them there hills, doing things they shouldn’t be.  If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Yaoi, with a dash of lime.

AN: Okie dokie, people, let’s see if anyone actually reads the author’s notes, or if everyone just looks at the warnings and goes on.  I have a few problems that I need some help with.  I am in desperate need of a beta reader, but I need one willing to put in a little more effort than normal.  In case no one has noticed, I suck at summaries, so I would like a beta that can help me summarize these things.  It would really help, and hopefully someone else could describe the story better than I can.  If anyone is interested, shoot me an e-mail!!


Holding a bottle of beer between his knees, Duo tilted his head back to watch the fiery explosions in the sky.  Soft footsteps had him glancing down the hill, smiling as he lifted the beer in salute to his best friend.  “They go all out for Relena’s birthday, don’t they?”

Settling on the soft grass, Heero shook his head, “They say she’ll only turn twenty-five once.”

“Don’t we all?  Didn’t everyone say the same thing about her turning twenty-four, and twenty-three?”

“They did.”

For a long moment, the two friends simply sat, watching as the display continued.  Pleased the fireworks were going well, Duo nudged the other man’s shoulder with his arm.  “Everything good with you two?  You haven’t threatened to shoot her again, have you?”

Heero chuckled lightly, “Not lately.  I was tempted earlier today.  She was driving me crazy picking my clothes out.”

“I can just imagine how well that went,” Duo laughed, then leaned back to rest on one elbow, face toward the sky.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Heero said abruptly, making Duo blink. It was still rare for the cobalt-eyed man to offer anything unless someone else spoke first.  “Thank you for everything.”

“Hell, Heero, all I did was make the fireworks.  It’s child’s play for an old terrorist like me.”  Still, Duo was happy Heero trusted him enough to speak without being prompted.

Assuming the conversation over, Duo jumped when the other man spoke again, his voice strangely hesitant.  “Not the fireworks, though you did an amazing job.  I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.  If not for you, I never would have understood what I felt.”  Heero glanced at the wedding band on his finger, where it had found a home two years before.

Remembering how full of doubt and uncertainty Heero had been during the hours before the wedding, Duo smiled wistfully.  “You would have figured it all out…eventually.  I just gave you a nudge in the right direction.”

“More like a few shoves with an electric baton.”

“You’re a stubborn man, Heero.  We’re friends.  That’s what friends do – we give each other a push when it’s needed.”

“You mean that?”

Heero’s earnest tone had Duo looking at him with a frown.  “I mean that.  What is this about, Heero?” he asked, suddenly nervous of the way Heero smiled at him, making him think of the Cheshire cat.  “I came out here to watch the fireworks, and you start acting all funny.  Don’t get me wrong, I like talking to you, but you should be with your wife on her birthday.”

“So I’m supposed to leave you here alone while everyone else is down there?”  Heero gestured to the crowd of people far below, in the valley beside the river.

“This is where I watch the fireworks every year.”  Looking back to the sky, Duo sighed sadly.  “I don’t mind being alone, Heero.”

“You can lie to everyone else, but not to me.  You hate being alone.  You always have.  Why don’t you bring a date?”

“You know why.  Let it go, okay?  I can deal with being alone.”

“Duo, you should talk to him.”

The suggestion frustrated Duo.  Sitting up, he downed his beer before meeting worried blue eyes.  “We’ve all known each other a long time.  If there was even a hint of interest, wouldn’t he have said something?  I tried to talk to him, but the wrong things keep coming out.  It’s like my mouth gets set on auto-pilot and I can’t shut up.  It’s mortifying, man.”

Heero looked away, searching the crowd of people below.  Duo knew when the blue eyes fell on Relena by the way they softened.  “You pushed me in the right direction, the direction I needed to be happy.  I also know Quatre and Wufei got the same kind of persuasion from you.”

Duo gazed at the people until he found Quatre and Wufei on the dance floor, staring at each other with happiness on their faces and love in their eyes.  “They’re good together.  Everyone knew they would be if they ever looked close enough.”

“When Zechs and Noin split up, you were the one that convinced them to work things out.  Then there was Hilde and Duncan, Rashid and Sally, a number of Quatre’s sisters and almost the entire Maguanac corp.  You are the one who helped them find where their happiness would come from, yet every year you come alone to every social function.  Just as Trowa has the last few times.”

Not liking where the conversation was going, Duo shrugged, “I haven’t figured out who he would be happy with yet.  When I do, I’ll work it out.”

“What if he would be happy with you?  Wouldn’t you be happy with him?”

“What I want doesn’t matter, Heero,” Duo said softly.

“What about what I want?”

The soft voice had Duo tensing and shooting a glare at Heero, his eyes promising vengeance as a third man came from behind to sit on Duo’s other side.  Heero gave Duo a quick smile, “Consider this a push in the right direction.”  With this said, Heero calmly stood, plucking Duo’s empty bottle from his hand and walking back down the hill to rejoin his wife, pulling her onto the dance floor.

Stunned and trying to decide the most painful way to punish Heero, Duo resolutely kept his gaze forward until the firework finale began.  Several explosions in quick succession had his eyes going to the sky on their own, smiling in spite of his anger as Heero’s message to Relena was written among the stars.  “To many more,’ was the entire message, but the blonde woman was sure to understand.

“You did a good job.”

The voice had him jerking, cursing himself for forgetting he wasn’t alone.  “Uh, thanks.  It took a while to get the powder just right, and you wouldn’t believe how many times I tested each firework before I was happy with the results, and then I had to make sure all of the colors were just right so there wouldn’t be too much of one thing.  I actually made three full sets so if something happened to one, the display could still go on and…” a hand on his knee had his eyes going wide, head jerking to stare at the lean fingers.

“I mean Heero and Relena, Quatre and Wufei, and the others.  You seem to know who is right for each other, don’t you?”

Digging one hand into the soft grass, Duo kept from shaking.  With one innocent touch, his brain had fogged.  “It’s not a big deal.  All you have to do is watch everyone.”

“Haven’t you watched me?”

“I didn’t…you were…none of the people you dated were right,” Duo muttered, feeling cornered.  “You weren’t really happy with them, Trowa.  You were wasting time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because you weren’t looking for anything serious.  When you did, I would have said something.”  Duo slid a blade of grass through his hand, hissing when he sliced open the end of his finger.  “Ow, damn.”

His hand was grasped between strong fingers as Trowa bent over him.  Startled at how fast the other man had moved, Duo stared with wide eyes as his hand was scrutinized, gaping when his palm was lightly kissed.  “You should be more careful, Duo.”

“I-it was an accident.”

Sitting on his knees between Duo’s legs, Trowa continued to hold Duo’s hand in his, eyes focused on the hand that rested in his own.  “When I was dating all of those others, I wasn’t serious about any of them.  I was serious about getting someone’s attention by dating them.”

Heart beating fast, Duo looked away from his own hand and focused on the cool green grass beside him.  “If you tell me who, I can probably get the two of you together for a date or something.”

“I’m counting on it.  Duo, I dated others to see if I could make you jealous.  You didn’t even seem to notice.”

Duo could clearly recall how it had hurt to see the tall man with so many others, and how he had desperately wanted to be the one beside the tall man.  “Why would it matter if I noticed?”

“So you did notice?”

Angry with himself and tired of the game Trowa seemed to be playing, the braided man yanked his hand away. “Of course I noticed, and I hated every damn one of them.  Every time we were all together, there was someone new standing beside you.  Is that what you wanted to hear?  I was jealous, damnit!”

Duo’s eyes shot open wide as Trowa’s mouth covered his with no warning, sliding shut as his tongue was skillfully manipulated.  When he felt a hand at the base of his braid, Duo’s arm shot out, pushing the other man away roughly and wiping his mouth with the back of his arm.  “What the hell?  Is this what you think is fun, Trowa?  Toying with me like this, playing with my emotions?”

Not caring about the state of his tuxedo, he scooted back on the grass with the intention of leaving.  As he started to stand his breath was knocked out of him as he was tackled, “Let me go.  I never thought you would be so damn cruel.”

“Do you only hear what you want to?  Damnit, Duo, I was trying to make you jealous so you would say something.  I’ve been in love with you for years.”  Trowa was breathing hard, green eyes boring down into Duo’s.

All the fight left Duo upon hearing the declaration, “What?  You said you weren’t serious about anyone.”

Keeping his arms locked around Duo’s waist, Trowa shook his head.  “I said I wasn’t serious about the people I was dating.  The only reason I dated them was to get a reaction from you.  When you didn’t give one, I stopped dating.”  As if realizing the long-haired man wasn’t going anywhere, Trowa loosened his grip, though his hands remained locked around Duo’s waist.  “I haven’t dated in over a year.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Until Heero announced his engagement, I thought the two of you were…together again.”

“We were never together in the first place,” frowned Duo, muscles still tensed to escape.  “That was two years ago, Trowa.  Not good enough.”

“I’ve been trying to find a way to talk to you.  It’s not easy to have a conversation with you, Duo,” Trowa gave a pointed look at where he held the smaller man down.

Insulted, Duo jerked his chin up, “Most people say I’m easy to talk to.”

“That’s the problem.  People are always around you.  It’s impossible to have a minute alone with you, unless you ask a friend for help,” Trowa glanced over his shoulder to where Heero had disappeared into the crowd below.

“You asked Heero to talk to me?”  Crossing his arms defensively over his chest the best he could while being held down, Duo remained unconvinced, “I’ve been up here for at least an hour, alone.  Why didn’t you talk to me yourself?”

“Because every time I get close to you, you suddenly find something you have to do, or someone to talk to.  This time, I didn’t want you to escape.”

Remembering all the times he had seen Trowa, Duo had to agree, admitting softly, “It’s been hard to talk to you.  I wanted you to be happy, but I’ve always had a difficult time seeing past what I want.”

“You’ve looked past the obvious choice for years.”  Freeing one hand and touching Duo’s face gently, Trowa tilted his head down to brush their lips together.  “You’ve always been there for me, whether I wanted someone to be there or not.  One day when I was having a bad day and everything was going wrong, I realized I wanted to see you.  That’s when I figured out I didn’t want to see you only when things were bad.  I wanted the good days with you, too.  I just couldn’t figure out a way to tell you.”

“When did this sudden realization hit?  A week ago?”

“A bit longer than that.  About three years ago.  For three years I’ve tried to find a way to tell you what I’m saying now.  It’s been a long and frustrating three years.  At first, I thought you weren’t because of Heero, and then I just thought you weren’t interested.”

Mouth falling open, Duo stared for a long moment before forcing it closed again.  Unconsciously, he tilted his head into the hand on his cheek, violet eyes imploring, “You aren’t joking?”

“You’re the one that makes me happy, Duo.  You have been for a long time.”

Searching the other man’s face, Duo saw something in the emerald eyes he had never seen before, a deep sincerity and quiet joy.  A smile turned the corners of his mouth up as he dared touch Trowa’s face, receiving a gasp in response.  “If we had this conversation three years ago, we would have been together longer than Quatre and Wufei.”

“That just means we have some time to make up for.  I have an idea how to start,” Trowa said, climbing off Duo and standing.  Duo started to object, not ready to leap into bed with Trowa so soon, though the idea was tempting.  When the other man started to laugh at his obvious confusion, Duo began to frown.  “We can start with a dance, Duo.”

“A dance?” Duo regarded the hand held out to him for several seconds, finally placing his own in it and smiling as it almost disappeared in Trowa’s palm. “I think I can handle a dance.” Trowa gave a soft smile and led him down the hill.  Just before reaching the edge of the crowd, the braided man stopped and moved closer to the tall man he never thought he would have a chance to be with.  Voice soft, he stood on his toes, “Trowa, can you remind me later to thank Heero for the push?”

“We’ll thank him together.”