Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ So, You've Fallen into the World of Gundam Wing... ❯ Don't Panic ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: bee3

Don't Panic: A List of Things to Panic About

So, we have covered the characters you're most likely to come into immediate contact with and/or notice. But we have a few more to cover before you're home free, or not home as the case may be. But definitely free.

First lets have a look at those chosen few you're definitely going to come into contact with, civilians.

Like the good book says “Don't Panic.” Just remember they're people, like you. Unless you're not a person… But Sailor Senshi, Half Demons and Beings From Another Plane are perfectly capable of looking after themselves I'm sure.

Lets review the first major hurdle,

Weapons: Keep it secret! Keep it safe!

In other words…

Make sure yours is hidden, due to the RAD effect we can't be sure if its peace time or war time, if its war time then you'll be shot at, if its peace time you'll be shot at.

Lose/lose situation really, don't forget that the STS (storm trooper syndrome) won't hold out forever and you may be hit by a bullet if you don't get out of firing range pretty sharpish.

And no. We are not all Heero, not all of us can take a bullet to the arm with only a “hnn”, most of us will, in fact screams something akin to “OH JESUS MY ARM MAN DOWN MAN DOWN” or something.

Besides we won't have the Pink Princess to bandage our arm with the remnants of her pretty blue party dress. Although this authoress wonders if silk does make a good bandage…

Language

We don't all automatically speak Japanese as soon as we cross that imaginary boundary into the next dimension. So here I would suggest the helpful phrases “Anata wa eigo o hanashimasu ka?” `Do you speak English?” and “Tasukete” “Help!” It might also help if you carry a white handkerchief, and at the first sign of trouble, lie down on the floor in a prone position and wave it if in doubt. You'll either be classed as non threatening or insane.

Moving swiftly onwards we hit the Oz faction! Here all readers should pause and strike a suitably dramatic pose whilst we await a theatrical lightening strike and rumble of thunder in the background.

If you got one you're a lucky sod, if you didn't that's ok, we still love you.

OZ(Organization of the Zodiac)

Ok these fellers aren't nice to play with, they also have a rather weird way of naming their mobile suits after zodiac signs, God knows why it's not like it gives them `magical powers'. Headed by Treize Kushrenada, who likes fighting man to man, bubble baths, shooting and quite possibly Lady Une.

If you find yourself in a room with him, don't make eye contact and when spoken to adopt the manner of the very rich or the very poor. So you can go the cute lovable ruffian way o “beggin' yer pardon me lordship” or “Why yes old chap, I have a simply maaaaaaaaarvelous time on the hunt last weekend, what what.”

Lady Une? Zechs? Noin? Handy hints for these lot:

Une- Just stay as quiet as possible and pray hard that you'll become invisible or just simply steal her glasses. Then run off, fast.

Zechs- No comments about the sissy hair, don't call him “Allen” it only adds to the confusion. Don't mention Relena, it'll be taken as a threat, which you really don't want, or it will serve to remind him that he is related to her and that you know it so he must now kill you so no one else finds out. Maybe he won't, but do you really want to test that theory? Just smile and comment on how pretty the mobile suits are, such pretty shiny suits, and of course total world domination is a good thing!

Noin- Yey for the Uni-bang! Make no comments about the six/nine connotations, weak onnas or how all her troops are going to be/have been mercilessly slaughtered before her eyes. Tell her she's a credit to the profession and how wonderful you think she is… and… maybe add that you think she's a good role model. Then maybe offer her some coffee or try to sneak away.

Next time learn about the Doctors as we realize why submitting yourself to a lifetime of training isn't a good thing in “Doctor, Doctor! I feel like piloting a Gundam”

No I don't own LotR or THHGTTG, I just enjoy reading them.

Characters are owned by respective companies, I merely borrowed them. If anyone thought of this idea before me… I'm only borrowing it too…

~bee3