Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Songs On The Radio ❯ Miss Me Baby ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Me and my weird ideas. Since ff.net doesn't allow songfics and I had this thing brewing in my mind, I decided to post it here. Warning: total angst-fest for most of this and every chapter will be a songfic and I've got quite a few songs to use. Any feedback would be great!

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters aren't mine and the lyrics are to the song `Miss Me baby' by Chris Cagle.

Songs On The Radio

Miss Me Baby- Heero

“Miss me baby
When you hear our favoritesong,
Miss me baby”

The wrench slammed into the side of the sturdy wooden garage, the forked top embedding itself in the pine planks before knocking loose and dropping to the floor with a thud. The previous wrench possessing hand suddenly shot out to clumsily grab the near empty bottle of whiskey that was precariously balanced on the messy built-in worktable of the rather large garage.

With one final gulp, Heero Yuy finished the bottle; head tilted all the way back before he staggered away from the old corvette with a pained expression on his usually stone-black face. He didn't know why he still kept the useless piece of junk- it didn't work at all and was more trouble that it was worth.

And it was a constant reminder of his failure. Of Duo.

“And when you start to sing along
Think about all the times that we danced
In moonlight to it all night long, oh
Then miss me baby.”

The old radio became the recipient of the imfamous Heero Yuy Death Glare as it warbled out its broken-hearted honkey-tonk tune. Duo would have liked it; his secret love of country music was one of the many things only Heero could have claimed to know about him.

Before. Before he was such an idiot. And he called Duo the baka. He'd been the only one to see Heero for what he really was. The Perfect Soldier. The Imperfect Person.

The floor tilted, knocking Heero off his feet and onto his back, arms spread a kimono. Watching the ceiling spin and listening to that beat up old radio, Heero didn't fight it as the memories he'd hoped the whiskey would drown floated up.

“And want me honey,
Like you did the night you told me that you loved me
We couldn't wait anymore.
Left the keys in the door, took my hand
Pulled me down on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, we were that crazy
Then miss me baby.”

**Memory**

Heero trudged up the long winding stairs to the third level of the apartments with a small sigh. The mission had failed, badly. Fifty-eight civilians dead, a couple hundred injured and at least a dozen still missing. That wasn't counting the agents they had lost. All because some fucking bastard thought his life sucked more than everyone else's did.

A weary grin spread across the Japanese man's face at that thought. There was Duo's undeniable influence on his mind already; an increase in his overall knowledge and use of common profanity. It amused Trowa, Quatre thought is was sweet and Wufei usually began mumbling words like 'injustice' and 'bad influence' whenever Heero demonstrated his newfound talents but Duo's reaction was worth it. Those violet eyes would twinkle with the hidden knowledge that he'd touched something in Heero, just enough to make him change. The swearing was an unspoken sign that Duo- bright, shining, full of life, laughter and love Duo Maxwell- meant something to Heero Yuy.

The apartment was dark as he fished out his keys, fiddling with them one-handedly before inserting the right slip of metal into the lock.

To his surprise the door swung open without Heero's touch and the ex-pilot of Wing Zero felt himself tense, muscles bunching in preparation for an attack, when Duo's frazzled form leap out of his door and attached himself to Heero's person with a strangled shout of “Hee-chan!”

The two of them swayed dangerously at the top of the stairs for a moment before Heero's usually immaculate balance kicked in and set them right. The messy-haired man allowed this momentary lapse in his training; he figured even Trowa, with his amazing balance and grace, would be hard pressed to stand up to one of Duo's tackle hugs.

It was a testament to Heero's tired state that it took him so long to notice Duo's body was trembling against his own, a slight sniffle catching his ear every now and then. The warm wetness quickly seeping into his standard-issue Preventer's shirt confirmed his fears that Duo Boys-Don't-Cry Maxwell was, in fact, crying.

Super strong or not, Heero was hard pressed to actually pry his best friend's arms off of his neck and push the braided man back to look at him. Which, to Heero's already wiped mind, was a big mistake.

He'd always thought Duo was beautiful, even when he was threatening to kill him and stealing the parts off his Gundam. Looking back, that had probably been Heero's own twisted way of 'pulling Duo's pigtails' as the schoolyard saying goes. Until his crash landing on Earth, he'd never been around anyone but Odin and Dr. J, two people who were not the best role models for living a long and happy life. Heero had never met people his own age, and while Duo and Relena were like hot and cold to him, Relena had simply become something to protect and a royal pain in his ass, but Heero had yet to meet someone like Duo.

Right now, with the full moon lighting up his pale face, making his wine colored eyes appear large and distorted, and the tear stains on his cheeks shone like liquid pearls, Heero felt all his fatigue leave his body with a sudden rush of attraction and concern for his best friend.

“Duo? Duo, report!”

The order had left his lips before he could stop it, and Heero felt a tiny wince twitch from his muscles as Duo shuddered violently and followed his orders.

“I heard about the bombing...and-” his voice caught for a moment before that iron-clad will that Heero had always admired his fellow pilot for kicked in. “-And I heard about the Preventer agents that had fucking died. I tried your cell but it was dead and I know you never let your damn cell battery drain so I figured something must have happened to you. I phoned Sally too, but since we weren't related they wouldn't tell us anything at the hospital and I....”

Heero felt himself soften at the obvious terror his friend had felt as he babbled. While it was true, he never did let his cell phone battery die, Heero had left the damn thing in the office building he had been investigating just before it was blown to hell.

Opening his mouth to stop the endless stream of words only Duo seemed capable of, Heero's breath caught in his throat at his braided comrade's continued ramblings.

“- and I kept thinking about how I never got the fucking chance to tell you I loved you, laptop and all, and I was wondering who would do the damn laundry so that the clothes doesn't end up all Quatre Pink again or who would feed Root Beer because even though I bought the damn cat he hates my guts but fucking loves you. Maybe that's why I bought him, we're so much alike I mmphf!”

Heero quickly clamped a hand over Duo's mouth, swallowing thickly. Violet-eyes blinked up at him in confusion. The Japanese man kept his own dark blue gaze on Duo's.

“What did you say?” The question was said in a hoarse voice as Heero kept his hand on Duo's mouth, focusing on the other man's lips moving against the skin of his palm. He missed Duo reaching up to grab his hand and clutch it in his own.

“You're going to have to be more specific there, buddy. I said a lot in the last five minutes.”

Heero felt weird, like he was experiencing this all out of his body, like he was simply floating beside himself and Duo without any control over his mouth.

“That part where you said you lo-”

His throat closed up. He couldn't say it. Why couldn't he say it?

Duo seemed to understand and looked nervous. Still, Heero knew he didn't lie, especially to him.

“The part where I said I loved you? Love you, I mean. It hasn't changed, hasn't for a long time, even when you tried to punch me in the kidneys through my belly button or-” He stopped and blushed prettily. Heero couldn't keep his eyes off that blush. “Is that okay?”

Duo needed an answer. Heero couldn't speak. Really, he was more of a do-er anyway. Actions speak louder than words and all that shit.

With a choked off sound of complete joy, Heero leaned down and kissed his Duo, HIS Duo. The one who couldn't do laundry to save his life, the one who sent Commander Une violets for Valentine's Day and addressed them from Wufei, the one who found Heero after the Barton Uprising and dragged him back to society. The one who loved him.

Without hesitation, Heero felt Duo's arms return to their previous position of being wrapped tightly around his neck with a heart felt sigh. Nearly a decade of pent up sexual frustration and longing bubbled up to feed their lustful love as Heero dropped his briefcase- the one holding his laptop- and pushed Duo back into their apartment, forgetting that his keys were still in the lock.

Duo kicked the door closed, never breaking their contact as he slid Heero's jacket from his shoulders to land somewhere on the kitchen table. Heero pulled his love's shirt up to finally run his fingers over the smaller man's narrow hips. Duo unclenched a hand from Heero's dress shirt to grasp one of the messy-haired man's wandering hands, pulling back slightly.

“Bed?” Heero suggested, panting as he licked his lips. Duo tasted like cinnamon and chocolate. Heero really liked cinnamon and chocolate.

He watched as those amazing violet eyes he loved so much took on a mischievous glint.

“Too far, Heero.” Duo whispered across his soon-to-be lover's lips before pulling him down on the middle of the kitchen floor.

“Because when he's holding you,
Know that it's killing me,
Let my memory be the reason boy
That you can't sleep
And everytime you feel his touch,
I pray to God it's not enough
And that I've touched your heart so deep
Boy, you can't shake me
Cause I love you,
Yes I need you,
Miss me baby.”

They had changed Heero's 'Next of Kinship' papers the next day to include Duo, making him top priority in an emergency. Even Commander Une got bumped back to second.

Heero sighed, making the room spin sickly before his eyes, as the memory of their first date bubbled up.

**Memory**

The air was warm and sweet, a sure sign of spring as they walked slowly up the sidewalk. Duo was talking a mile a minute about the last Preventer mission, where he'd single handedly defused without the help of his idiotic partner.

“Then the guy says how HE figured out that the nut would put the bomb in behind the gas furnace and how HE told ME, the freaking bomb expert, to cut the blue wire. Hell-fucking-o, exactly how long have I been playing with things that go boom? A damn lot longer than Agent Brown-noser has been potty trained, that's for sure.”

Heero raised an amused eyebrow. This conversation had been going on for the last three blocks, stemmed form the simple question of why Duo had been re-assigned another partner by Commander Une. He's already gone though five.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Chestnut colored eyebrows furrowed as Duo paused in his story. Immediately, Heero's gaze was drawn to his lover's lower lip as he pouted slightly.

“In a moment, buddy. I'm just getting to the good part!”

Duo practically skipped up the block to their apartment. The night had been good, for both of them. A simple dinner at their favorite dinner and a movie. Duo had taken it upon himself to introduce Heero to the Wonders of the Backseat in a Darkened Movie Theater and Heero told Duo he really liked going to the movies.

“Anyway, that pissed me off and I...sorta took a couple of shots at him.”

Duo's boisterous voice had calmed by the end of his explanation and he sounded a bit sheepish. Heero had stopped and gave the man in front of him an incredulous look.

“You- you shot at him?!”

Cobalt eyes caught the familiar sequence of Deathscythe's thermal controls as Duo's hand twitched nervously.

“It was only a few dancing shots, man. It's not like I actually hit the bastard.” The smile was back, shining brightly in the night. “But damn did he squeal like I did. Cried too. Hee, I made an agent cry! Think Fei'll be pissed?”

Heero shrugged comfortably. “Chang is very terroritoral. He may think you are moving in on his turf.”

Duo was at his side again, nudging his lightly. “Turf, Heero? If anything Wufei'll kill me for being a bad influence on you. The moment you start turning in reports that aren't your customary five pages, he'll get out his over-sized kitchen knife and turn me into Wonderbread.”

Heero calmly wrapped an arm around Duo's shoulder's bringing the energetic man closer to him. Duo always fit so perfectly next to him, Heero often wondered if J hadn't tinkered with more than his soldierly traits. He replied to Duo's worries with a slight growl of possessiveness.

“Not if Chang wants to deal with me, he won't.”

Heero could actually feel Duo's beaming smile against his shoulder. A sudden snicker startled him.

“Going into 'I am Hee-chan, hear me roar' mode already and poor Wu-man hasn't even done anything.” Then in a very serious and serene voice, Duo waved a hand in front of Heero's face. “Calm yourself, young one. Feel your anger and let it drain from you, like water flowing off of a rock.”

“What?” Heero asked dazedly as Duo shrugged and pulled him closer for a kiss.

“I dunno. Heard it on one of Fei's old movies. The ones with the subtitles. Now shut up and kiss me.”

“Miss me baby,
Until you can't take it no more
Miss me baby
Pack your bags and hit the door
I'm a man, I was wrong, forgive me
Come back home
I'll be waiting
Right here waiting
Miss me baby.”

Everything had been ....not perfect but as close to it as possible. Then, as usually happens with first loves, Heero experienced his first bouts of jealously and he made a mistake. He didn't trust Duo, trust his word or his feelings and ended up driving him away.

**Memory**

“Dammit Heero! For the last fucking time I wasn't fucking flirting with Davidson!”

Duo's face was flushed slightly with rage, his violet eyes glittering dangerously as he glared at Heero from the other side of the room. Heero had long ago thrown away his blank mask to glare back at his impossibly beautiful lover.

Desire, love, jealously, rage, fear and desperation tore at his heart at the very thought of Duo talking to anybody other than him with his throaty timbre, looking at anyone with those stunning violet eyes and touching anyone with his silky, talented hands. That belonged to Heero, HE belonged to Heero.

Visions of Duo leaving him for some faceless Preventer agent plagued the Japanese man's mind and, in some cases his dreams. One vivid nightmare had Duo wrapped up in the arms of straight as a ruler Chang Wufei, declaring Heero a failure before letting himself being whisked away to paradise on a black Gundam.

“What were you talking about that made you laugh? I saw you this morning!”

Duo clenched his fists at his waist before letting out a low growl of frustration.

“He's my partner Heero! Shit, I can't not talk to him.” Heero watched as the other ex-pilot's elfin face was dark and harsh with emotion. “And I was laughing at him because he was complaining about his damn marital problems. He's fucking straight, Yuy!”

The perfect soldier's mind realized it had made a horrible misconception on Duo's and Davidson's 'relationship' but Heero's pride hissed at the very idea. The anger and fear were still there.

“He's not the only bastard I see you flirt with. Or who flirts with you. Tell me why you don't stop them, Duo? Why don't you tell them you're mine?”

Duo's look of utter disbelief and rage was a bit un-nerving to Heero, who was sure he had a reason to be upset. Weren't lovers supposed to do those kinds of things? Be exclusive to each other and not flirt with various friends and co-workers? If things went well enough, ownership could be claimed in the form of a marriage license. Duo wasn't following the correct codes of conduct for dating and it was seriously pissing Heero off.

“Excuse me one fucking minute,” Duo began, his voice low in what Heero suddenly realized was the tone that Duo used when he spoke of Shinigami. It was a highly disturbing thought-one that made the Preventer's heart beat speed up. Shinigami was Duo's dark side, the side that only came out when his lover was furious or hurt or just at his wit's end. Duo continued, his eyes glittering wickedly as he noticed Heero's pale complexion.

“I don't remember seeing property of Heero fucking Yuy stamped across my ass, dammit. Who in the hell do you fucking think you are? Chang and his backwards ideals of master and slave?”

Duo slowly began to advance towards Heero as he spoke, the shadows from the night playing on his face like demonic stripes of something coming to do Duo's bidding.

“Let's get one thing straight here,Heero.” His name was said in a low, dangerous purr but the fearful man stood his ground and watched as Duo stalked him like a tiger. “If we're going to be together, we're going to be equals, half and half, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours sorta deal.”

Duo was close enough now to have to look up into Heero's bright blue eyes, his own burning with a furious violet fire and the Japanese man felt his own anger respond. Duo was challenging him, his authority.

“And I don't want to ever, ever hear you call me a fucking slut, roundabout or any other way. Got it?”

“Well, you are from L2.”

To this day, Heero had no idea what made him say it. He'd never been much of a talker, why the hell would he start now? He should have done what he always said he would do in a situation like this; back off and let Duo cool down while Heero took a moment to think about his actions rationally and logically.

But that fear, that fear that Duo would leave him alone and heart broken, if he wasn't the perfect soldier he'd always been reared its ugly head. It made him angry that he'd messed up, angry that he always had to be the perfect one or no one would want him. Duo had flaws as well, and pointing them out made Heero feel more like he was just as, if not better than the one person he wanted to be perfect for.

Duo, for his part, looked as though Heero had told him he thought the braided man was the devil reincarnate and drank the blood of newborns for breakfast while kicking puppies when he walked to work.

His braided lover's anger and threats hadn't been able to break through his partner's thick wall of desperate emotions but the look of utter hurt that crossed Duo's elfin features did and Heero finally realized his mistake. He'd made a colossal mistake and now he'd gone too far.

Tormented violet eyes took on a shiny sheen as they lost focus on Heero's face and looked off at the wall behind him. This was another thing Heero could never understand; why Duo could spit on his tormentors during the war ones who had tortured him for days on end, but one hurtful word from him was enough to send the braided man into hysterics.

The presence of those pearly tears made his heart feel heavy with guilt as the anger and fear melted away like icicles on the roof of hell. Heero made to reach out to his beautiful, tragic lover only to have him shield away like a beaten dog. Heero felt the fear return.

Slowly Duo's violet gaze shifted to look up into his lover's and they were bright with emotion. Grief, despair, heart-break and resignation were stark as they melted into regret and reluctance. Then determination blazed, all the while love was the only constant.

That's when Heero knew that Duo Maxwell was leaving him and he wasn't coming back.

A lithe body, stiff with exhaustion and shaking with despair skirted him as Duo headed fro the door. He packed nothing, left his black leather jacket on the hook in the hall and just walked out the door.

And Heero let him go.

Heero dimly heard his digital wrist watch beep, the noise not quiet blending in with the music. It was midnight, time for all good little Preventer agents to get into bed before they were too tired to do their duty.

Midnight. That made it exactly six months since Duo had left him. Happy fucking Anniversary.

A strangled sob broke through the soldier's drunken daze and behavioral training as the walls that had always kept Heero's emotions separate from his mind cracked and crumbled under the pressure.

It was just too much. Everything reminded him of Duo. His own damn face when he looked in the mirror did. Duo had once hidden all the hair brushes so that he's stop trying to tame his wild locks, a look the other man had loved on him.

He still had Duo's things, all packed away and stuffed in the closet. Heero had been hoping that his lover- EX Lover- would come back for it and they could have talked it out, but Duo never returned. He'd transferred sections with the Preventers and literally dropped off the edge of the traceable Earth.

The sobbing, coupled with an unbelievable pressure on Heero's chest made it hard to breathe as a rough hand angrily swiped at the tears. Mirthless laughter bubbled up as well, making him sound so much like his teenage terrorist years, when he'd laughed at the blood and the death and the pain form the battlefield.

Now it was simply the pain in his heart that made him laugh. What would Duo have given to see him now, an emotional mess and drunk off his head?

As selfish as it sounded, he knew what he wanted. He just wanted Duo to be as miserable as himself, to miss him just enough to bring him back to make life without Heero as impossible for Duo as life without Duo was impossible for Heero.

As the song simmered down to its last verse, Heero slowly got to his feet. The high was wearing off, the feeling that the pain was more like the dull ache of arthritis and not the stabbing agony of a fresh bullet wound.

Bullets. Earth. Moonlight. Duo.

“Everytime you hear this song,
Miss me baby...”

Dammit, he really needed a drink.