Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Waking Next to You ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimers: Does anybody read these anymore? I don't own them. There, happy?

Warnings: Massive sappiness, POV (first Heero, then Duo)

Pairing(s): 1+2+1

A/N: Set sometime after endless waltz, nothing definite.

Waking Next to You
By Solanum Dulcamara

Part one: Heero:


I awaken in the darkness of night, to the sound of the fan whirring at my feet and the squeakish rustle of the air mattress. For a moment, irrational panic grips my heart, choking its weak attempts at beating. If I roll over, will you still be there? I don't deserve you or the wonderful life you've given me. Have you gone the way of all good dreams, disappearing when I wake? Slowly, I turn, feeling the odd creak and shift of the mattress beneath me, half afraid of what I might not see on your side of the bed. There you slumber, blissfully unaware of my insecurities. Still unsure, I reach out for tactile affirmation. I slowly let my hand trace the contours of your back, soaking up the warmth of your presence. I lie back down, continuing to let my hand rest on your back, needing that simple reminder that you're here. Sleep does not come quickly, but when I finally feel its lull, I bring with me a sense of peace.

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The strangest things can wake me. You leaving the bed during the night, is not one of them. December in Brussels is cold. Midnight trips to the toilet in December are cold. More often than not, you can enter and exit the bed without worry of waking me... tonight, however, you've returned from a pre-Christmas, A.M. bathroom break and quickly seek the warm confines of our blankets and my body. On a basic level, my body jerks awake to recoil from the intrusive cold. But as my sleep-fogged mind wraps around the current situation, I only want to hold you closer and chase away the chill. You've called to all of these nurturing instincts that I didn't know I possessed. Thinking back to the night you unknowingly shared warmth with my very scared heart, I want nothing more than to offer what warmth I have to you. You quickly drift back to sleep and let me lie awake to think. I'm grateful to you for sharing your life with me and giving me the chance to share what little I have to offer with you; you will always have my heart. I love you.

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Part two: Duo:

I get sick. You know it... I know it... the whole world probably has an idea or two about it. For whatever reason, my immune system takes the occasional vacation, and you, without hesitation, take care of me. As the sinus infection from hell picks up where my immune system left off, I dissolve into a miserable pile of worthlessness. How you manage your levels of productivity in the face of my sickly pessimism is a mystery to me. Before I quite know what's happened, I am tucked into a wonderful little palette in the living room, fed homemade chicken noodle soup, filled with fluids, and drifting into the sanctuary of healing sleep. I rouse slightly to find that you've joined me. I'm not sure when you came, but am glad that you're here. You hold me in your sleep and offer your strength and comfort. Leech that I am, I draw on these continually. Somehow, you always know what I need and offer all that you have, which only makes me need you more.

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I lie awake in the sunlight that streams through our blinds and over our new bed. Once more, insomnia has defeated my feeble attempts at sleep... but today, I'm grateful. I curl a little closer to you in the bed, still unsure of which side I prefer. Today I'm grateful because I have a rare and awesome opportunity to watch you sleep in full light. Your face is relaxed, all tension melted away in your peaceful repose. I love seeing you like this. You appear so vulnerable, boyish and worry-free. I reach out and lightly trace the features of your face, and to my surprise and delight, you kiss my fingertips. I realize you must be awake and quietly call your name. No response. You are asleep. Even in sleep, exhausted by long hours of work, you seek to offer me affection. I rifle between giddiness and humility before settling, quite simply on love. Only you can reach out from the depths of REM to give me love and I feel so privileged to accept and return it. I love you.