Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wufei You Need a Man ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Staria 
Wufei is depressed. Warning major insane factors and Yaio.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.27.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 737 | Status: Completed
Wufei is depressed. Warning major insane factors and Yaio.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.27.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 737 | Status: Completed
Ok, I've been wanting to write another funny fic for a while now. Most off after seeing the wonderful responses I got from "Project Pluto." But this time it's a Gundam fic rather than Sailor Moon. I made a list of things to use from a phone conversation I had with my friend Jade. So I must use the following items and quotes in the story. Note. some of these things come for early story ideas that I have yet to use in Gundam Confusion cause I'm a lazy ass who hasn't worked on it for quite some time.
Items:
Fluffy bunnies w/ razor blades
Trazadone
Days of Our Lives
Pringles
Oreos
Cake
The Siverly Liberation Army
Who wants to be a Millionaire
a house coat and fuzzy pink slippers
My Best Friend's Wedding
Pat & Mark
Zack in a pink fuzzy sweater
Bouncing Souls T-shirt
Quotes:
"Oh by the way dude..."
"You see that bronze statue out back..... IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SILVER DUMB ASS!"
"Now look I can forgive you for not taking care of my dry cleaning that one time I was busy, and the time you forgot to pick me up from the air port, but this is too much like the time with Mr. Muffins!"
"Buda loves you."
"Cuddling on the couch leading to other things"
"I did not have sexual relations with that art student."
"Oh it's Rob Thomas singing "Smooth" with that Chinese guy." (Don't ask. I had a blond moment)
"You look like a hedgehog"
"I don't exist" sung to "Felis Nave Da
"I'll go to Rhode Island..... yeah that's it...."
"I wish guys came with expiration dates."
"You remind me of Jake."
Ok I know you probably won't understand the true meanings of these, but hopefully they will make a funny story. All standard disclaimers apply. On with the fun.
"Wufei, You Need a Man."
By Staria
Rated: we'll just stick w/ PG 13 otay!
Wufei sighed as he flipped through the channels of daytime television. He had hardly moved from his spot on the couch for a week and it was starting to bug the other pilots. He sat in his boxers, a dingy half tattered house coat and a pair of pink, fuzzy slippers. The coffee table was littered with half eaten cake, pringles, oreos, Trazadone and an assortment of empty pop and beer cans. As Days of Our Lives came to an end Wufei found himself at a loss for what to watch. Dragging himself off the couch, which had an imprint of where he had been sitting for the past week, he popped a video in the VCR. My Best Friend's Wedding was a wonderful movie to watch when feeling sorry for one's self.
"Wufei you need to snap out of this depression." Quatre said coming in the room. "Move on. Trieze dumped you over a week ago."
"Silence weakling." Wufei said, but there wasn't the same feeling in it as there had been in the past. "I can't believe he left me for 'Bird Man' Zechs."
"Wu-man, you need a man." Duo said. "I know this great singles bar..." Heero started to glare as Duo mentioned the word SINGLE.
"The one run by the Siverly Liberation Army?" Trowa asked, joining in. Quatre got all pouty at the thought of Trowa knowing the place as well.
"Yeah...and that one time Rob Thomas was singing "Smooth" with that Chines guy."
"Duo, Santana is NOT Chinese." Heero corrected.
".........any ways, Wu-man you need to get your ass off the couch." Duo said and then thought, "So Heero and I can be cuddling on the couch and lead to others things." he got a goofy ass grin on his face and Heero had to smack him upside the head.
"Buda loves you." Wufei mumbled, turning off the TV. "Guys Why would Trieze dump me?"
"Are you sure you want the truth man?" Duo asked. Wufei nodded.
"Well." Quatre started "You're always angry."
"And you're rather greasy." Trowa added.
"And you use pantien pro V." Duo said.
"And you're obsessed with 'Nataku'." Heero said.
"And you're mean."
"And you can't cook."
"And you go onto suspended animation too much."
"And you call everyone weak."
"And you're mean to women."
"And you haven't bathed in a week."
"And you're anti-social."
"ENOUGH!" Wufei yelled. standing up. "I wish guys came with expiration dates!"
"Ok Wu-man chill out. We'll take you to that singles bar and find you a new guy. Someone better than Trieze." Duo promised.
"But take a shower first." Quatre suggested.
"Oh by the way dude..."
"What Duo?" Heero asked.
"Um.... I kinda clogged the drain with hair again."
"DUO!" Heero was ticked. "Now look I can forgive you for not taking care of my dry cleaning that one time I was busy, and the time you forgot to pick me up from the air port, but this is too much like the time with Mr. Muffins!"
"Oh man. Heero don't bring up that bird again. I swear he died of natural causes I fed him and everything."
Once Wufei was done in the shower, and the guys made sure he WASHED his hair, they all headed down to the Fluffy Bunnies with Razor Blades singles bar run by the Siverly Liberation Army. As they walked in they could hear "Who wants to be a millionaire playing on one of the TVs. Wufei looked around and saw the other pilots had left him but heard Duo talking to Heero.
"I swear I did not have sexual relations with that art student."
"I never said you did. Are you hiding something?"
"Um... nothin' just delete that ok."
Making his way to the bar Wufei stopped a rather cute blond guy in a pair of beat up jeans and a white T-shirt.
"I'll go to Rhode Island.... yeah that's it...." He mumbled as he finished his beer.
"The name's Wufei."
"Hi I'm Pat." he said cheerfully.
"Want another drink?"
"Gee thanks but I'm waiting for my boyfriend Mark to get here. Sorry." Pat left mutter something about a new idea for a painting.
"I don't exist." Wufei muttered to the tune of Flesi Nave Da. Then another guy, with spiky hair, wearing a pink fuzzy sweater, came up to him.
"Hi I'm Zack. You remind me of Jake. He looks so cute in his Bouncing Souls shirt. Do you have a Bouncing soul's shirt?"
"You look like a Hedgehog." Wufei said and walked away rather miffed. To his surprise He could see Trieze and Zechs out side arguing.
"You see that bronze statue out back..... IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SILVER DUMB ASS!" Zechs yelled. "You can do nothing right. This is over." Zechs stormed off leaving a very upset Treize behind. Wufei felt bad, but wasn't about to go back to Trieze. not now.
Trieze looked up and say Wufei inside the bar.
"My little Dragon. Have I found you again!"
Items:
Fluffy bunnies w/ razor blades
Trazadone
Days of Our Lives
Pringles
Oreos
Cake
The Siverly Liberation Army
Who wants to be a Millionaire
a house coat and fuzzy pink slippers
My Best Friend's Wedding
Pat & Mark
Zack in a pink fuzzy sweater
Bouncing Souls T-shirt
Quotes:
"Oh by the way dude..."
"You see that bronze statue out back..... IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SILVER DUMB ASS!"
"Now look I can forgive you for not taking care of my dry cleaning that one time I was busy, and the time you forgot to pick me up from the air port, but this is too much like the time with Mr. Muffins!"
"Buda loves you."
"Cuddling on the couch leading to other things"
"I did not have sexual relations with that art student."
"Oh it's Rob Thomas singing "Smooth" with that Chinese guy." (Don't ask. I had a blond moment)
"You look like a hedgehog"
"I don't exist" sung to "Felis Nave Da
"I'll go to Rhode Island..... yeah that's it...."
"I wish guys came with expiration dates."
"You remind me of Jake."
Ok I know you probably won't understand the true meanings of these, but hopefully they will make a funny story. All standard disclaimers apply. On with the fun.
"Wufei, You Need a Man."
By Staria
Rated: we'll just stick w/ PG 13 otay!
Wufei sighed as he flipped through the channels of daytime television. He had hardly moved from his spot on the couch for a week and it was starting to bug the other pilots. He sat in his boxers, a dingy half tattered house coat and a pair of pink, fuzzy slippers. The coffee table was littered with half eaten cake, pringles, oreos, Trazadone and an assortment of empty pop and beer cans. As Days of Our Lives came to an end Wufei found himself at a loss for what to watch. Dragging himself off the couch, which had an imprint of where he had been sitting for the past week, he popped a video in the VCR. My Best Friend's Wedding was a wonderful movie to watch when feeling sorry for one's self.
"Wufei you need to snap out of this depression." Quatre said coming in the room. "Move on. Trieze dumped you over a week ago."
"Silence weakling." Wufei said, but there wasn't the same feeling in it as there had been in the past. "I can't believe he left me for 'Bird Man' Zechs."
"Wu-man, you need a man." Duo said. "I know this great singles bar..." Heero started to glare as Duo mentioned the word SINGLE.
"The one run by the Siverly Liberation Army?" Trowa asked, joining in. Quatre got all pouty at the thought of Trowa knowing the place as well.
"Yeah...and that one time Rob Thomas was singing "Smooth" with that Chines guy."
"Duo, Santana is NOT Chinese." Heero corrected.
".........any ways, Wu-man you need to get your ass off the couch." Duo said and then thought, "So Heero and I can be cuddling on the couch and lead to others things." he got a goofy ass grin on his face and Heero had to smack him upside the head.
"Buda loves you." Wufei mumbled, turning off the TV. "Guys Why would Trieze dump me?"
"Are you sure you want the truth man?" Duo asked. Wufei nodded.
"Well." Quatre started "You're always angry."
"And you're rather greasy." Trowa added.
"And you use pantien pro V." Duo said.
"And you're obsessed with 'Nataku'." Heero said.
"And you're mean."
"And you can't cook."
"And you go onto suspended animation too much."
"And you call everyone weak."
"And you're mean to women."
"And you haven't bathed in a week."
"And you're anti-social."
"ENOUGH!" Wufei yelled. standing up. "I wish guys came with expiration dates!"
"Ok Wu-man chill out. We'll take you to that singles bar and find you a new guy. Someone better than Trieze." Duo promised.
"But take a shower first." Quatre suggested.
"Oh by the way dude..."
"What Duo?" Heero asked.
"Um.... I kinda clogged the drain with hair again."
"DUO!" Heero was ticked. "Now look I can forgive you for not taking care of my dry cleaning that one time I was busy, and the time you forgot to pick me up from the air port, but this is too much like the time with Mr. Muffins!"
"Oh man. Heero don't bring up that bird again. I swear he died of natural causes I fed him and everything."
Once Wufei was done in the shower, and the guys made sure he WASHED his hair, they all headed down to the Fluffy Bunnies with Razor Blades singles bar run by the Siverly Liberation Army. As they walked in they could hear "Who wants to be a millionaire playing on one of the TVs. Wufei looked around and saw the other pilots had left him but heard Duo talking to Heero.
"I swear I did not have sexual relations with that art student."
"I never said you did. Are you hiding something?"
"Um... nothin' just delete that ok."
Making his way to the bar Wufei stopped a rather cute blond guy in a pair of beat up jeans and a white T-shirt.
"I'll go to Rhode Island.... yeah that's it...." He mumbled as he finished his beer.
"The name's Wufei."
"Hi I'm Pat." he said cheerfully.
"Want another drink?"
"Gee thanks but I'm waiting for my boyfriend Mark to get here. Sorry." Pat left mutter something about a new idea for a painting.
"I don't exist." Wufei muttered to the tune of Flesi Nave Da. Then another guy, with spiky hair, wearing a pink fuzzy sweater, came up to him.
"Hi I'm Zack. You remind me of Jake. He looks so cute in his Bouncing Souls shirt. Do you have a Bouncing soul's shirt?"
"You look like a Hedgehog." Wufei said and walked away rather miffed. To his surprise He could see Trieze and Zechs out side arguing.
"You see that bronze statue out back..... IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SILVER DUMB ASS!" Zechs yelled. "You can do nothing right. This is over." Zechs stormed off leaving a very upset Treize behind. Wufei felt bad, but wasn't about to go back to Trieze. not now.
Trieze looked up and say Wufei inside the bar.
"My little Dragon. Have I found you again!"