Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Uki's pleasures and pain ❯ Chapter 15

Something for the readers: Well peeps, it time to put an end to this stuff, and I want to thank everyone, who said their piece and helped me out. This is where it ends and It will be long AND descriptive, nothing will be short-changed here. Now, I have to answer Jessica's question, she wanted to know the sizes of all the male hams (can you believe a girl is asking this?). Well Jessica, sure I'll do just that, here are the length sizes of the guys from pole to twig (I hope):

Maxwell: 1 and 1/4 in.

Boss: 1 in.

Jam: 7/8 of an in.

Hamtaro: 3/4 of an in.

Panda & Snoozer: 2/3 of an in.

Dexter, Howdy & Jingle: 5/6 of an in.

Stan: 1/2 an in.

Cappy: 1/3 of an in.

Finally, if there are any ham couples you want to see in Uki Stew, send some mail. I already have eight pairs of hams, so please add more if you wanna see 'em. Now, time to close up shop... on a bitter note. Oh yes, to the people whose hams I'm using..... please don't be mad at this part... pleease? o.o

The day finally came, it was now time to have their party. Everything was set and everyone... er, every couple, came along. This was going to be a day to remember for all of the hams who attended this party. Cappy and Penelope were walking through the tall grass on their way to the party and they were excited for everything. "This is going to be one of the bast parties I may ever be invited too." said Cappy.

"Yes, this will be very fun." added Penelope, giving Cappy a smack.

"Yup."

This young couple's attention was turned from them, because of the moaning that they heard nearby. Following this, the two young hams saw a sight they thought they would ever never see... it dropped their jaws at the site of this, a definite unbelievable sight....

Elder Ham and Aunt Viv.... knockin' like death was around the corner. Viv was being rode by Elder Ham, you'd swear there was a saddle on her back, but couldn't tell. He didn't even need his cane to balance either, that ham was laying pipe. Holy shit..... was all the young hams could muster in their brains. "And the youngins need that Hamagra and Hamvetra crap," said a cocky Elder Ham, "I don't need that hogwash, I can get it up like a virgin on my own."

"And to think, the young girls nowadays worry about their insides getting dry, I never had that problem." said Aunt Viv.

"We do better than those youngins today... and it's sad as hell."

"It's not sad, we're just old school."

"All right Vivian, time to call it quits."

"Cappy," Penelope whispered. "You don't think Elder Ham can.... you know, do you?"

"That old ham," Cappy whispered, "he couldn't cum if his life depended on it."

Shhhhhhhhhplurt!

"Okay.... now I've seen everything."

"Ewwwwwww!"

The look on the two young hams was priceless, but Aunt Viv's look was even more valuable. Her white coated belly was matted in Elder Ham's 'navy' and he sunk Viv's battleship. "So now will you tell me the secret to your youth?" she asked.

"Good eating, good shittin', and good love making with a young girl." answered Elder Ham, then gave a hearty laugh. "To top it all off, 'Old Faithful' here is still young and fully working."

"Come one, let's go take a bath."

"You need it more than me."

"You got jokes now?"

Off the two old hams went, Cappy and Penelope were still stunned at what they just saw. "I hope I can still do that when I'm old and gray." said Cappy.

"I have been mentally soiled." cried Penelope, "let's leave, because this has stained my memory and it shall never go away."

[For the readers who shar Penelope's opinion, take a walk from the monitor and try to delete the disturbing visual from your minds. Playboy Ham wanted something like this, well now they have it. So all the people who are shooting for the Elder Ham/Aunt Viv couple, hope and pray that they aren't full of plum wine when they write it like I was. When you're ready, move on to the next part.]

*

Once they got to the clubhouse, Cappy and Penelope spread the word. "I find that really hard to believe you two, I just don't see it." said Boss.

"It really happened." said Cappy.

"Dude, this is Elder Ham we're talking about here," Stan said. "I doubt that old boar can actually get it up, let alone get it to work."

"But it's the truth,"

"I don't believe it at all."

"Stan..."

"Listen," Dexter began, "let's not talk about what you thought you saw elder Ham doing, because it's really not true."

Just then, Jam and Roll walked in. "Man, can you believe that?" Jam asked. "Elder Ham is the man."

"What's all the commotion about?" asked Boss.

"Man I just saw Elder Ham beat Aunt Viv's guts in. That was the highlight of my morning."

"See, I told you they were screwing in the call grass." said Cappy.

"You saw it too? Man, Elder Ham pulled out at least one and a half inches on that old cow. I tell you, Elder Ham busted one of those horse nutts on Aunt Viv, she was coated."

"La, la, la-lala la, lalalaaaaaaa-lalaaaa." Sandy and Pashmina obviously don't want to hear about this shit.

"Anyway, let's get everything final." said Maxwell.

"Okay." said Jam. "But can you believe that Roll wanted to take pictures of those two-"

"Laaaaaaaala, la-la-la-lala, la-lalalala, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Ladies, you can't sing worth a lick."

"Roll call, please?" asked Hamtaro, trying to change the subject.

"Roll call." said Maxwell. "Okay, here we go. Sandy..."

"Present."

"Boss..."

"Present."

"Hamina..."

"Here."

"Snoozer..."

"Zu, zu, zu..."

"Um... kay, Becky..."

"Zu, zu, zu..."

"O-kay. Dexter..."

"Present."

"Pashmina..."

"Present."

"Jam."

"Didn't leave yet."

"A 'here' or 'present' will suffice next time."

"Whatever."

"Roll..."

"In the back."

"Ruby..."

"Here." [Oops, forgot to mention this, but Ruby is another Ra's Hamster, one of Roll's friends, I'll get in that later.]

"Stan..."

"Present and horny."

"That last part wasn't needed, Stan."

"Riiiiight. Just finish the roll."

"Cappy..."

"Present."

"Penelope..."

"Okwee."

Everyone turned to Penelope. "What? I just haven't said that in a while, so sue me, okay?"

"Rather not." Maxwell said and continued with the roll. "Panda..."

"Here."

"Miri..."

"Here."

"Howdy..."

No response...

"Howdy...., are you here?"

Suddenly, the clubhouse was opened up to see a few familiar faces. "Hey you guys, heard you were having a party." And here was the loner, Jingle. With his good ol' gui-tar. "Well, what's up?" he then asked.

"Just taking roll." Maxwell answered. "Have you seen Howdy, by the way?"

"He went to go get Hannah." answered Jingle's 'date' for the party, Sparkle. "They'll show up later."

"Okay. Well, I'm here as well, so is there anyham I missed?"

"Elder Ham and Aunt Viv..." Jam joked under his breath.

"Will you knock it off?" shot Dexter.

"I'm sorry Dex, but those old hams have branded my memory with their sexual encounter in the-"

"Quit talking about that shit!" all the main hams yelled.

"Okay now, who exactly are you guys?" Jingle of course, never met up with Jam, let alone Roll.

"Ladies first." said Jam.

"Thank you." said Roll and Sparkle.

"Well I'm Sparkle and that's Jingle." Sparkle introduced, and you two are..."

"I'm Roll, and the verbal vouyer over there is Jam." said Roll.

"Hey, watch your mouth, sister." Jam corrected. "Don't mind her Sparky, Roll just hasn't gotten over her 'sakura girl' complex yet."

Sparkle took to the offensive, "Who are you calling Sparky?" she asked.

"I like it, it's a nice nickname for you." said Jingle.

"Did I miss anything?"

Howdy and Hannah finally showed upand Jam was there to greet them. "Hey Howdy, new apron I see." Jam said.

"Yup." Howdy answered.

"And you must be Hannah, rye?"

"Yup." Hannah answered. "You're Jam, aren't you?"

"Jam I am."

"Where is Roll?"

"Over there."

"Okay, now on with the roll call." said Maxwell. "Bijou..."

"Here."

"Hamtaro..."

"Do I have to say it?"

"Of course not. Oxnard..."

"He's on his way." said Hamtaro. "Apparently Kana had some stuff to do with Pepper, so they should be here later."

"Well can we get this show on the road already?" asked an impatient Sparkle. "I would like to do this and leave while I still can."

"What's her problem?" asked Jam.

"She's not too fond of the gang." answered Jingle.

"Wrong," corrected Roll, "Sparkle is one of those 'I'm the almighty queen of the world' types that thinks everyone else is weird. Intruth, she just a spoiled, uppity little-"

"Roll, don't go there." Jam warned. Besides, I think Boss had a thing for Sparky, but he was shot down, of course."

"Jam, you might wanna practice what you preach."

"I don't preach, I just foretell what I see."

"Can you foresee a foot up your ass?" Sparkle asked.

"No, but you do have something on your cheek that you might wanna kushi kushi."

Sparkle saw this and quickly ran off to clean up. Jam and Stan just laughed it up, it was funny to them. "Lucky Jingle." Boss said.

"How so?" asked Hamina.

"Even though he was late, he got a bit ahead."

Jam snickered, "Nice one!"

*

It was late morning and Oxnard and Pepper had finally showed up. And to make things better, Snoozer and Becky actually woke up to enjoy the party, though the other hams weren't sure how long they would stay that way... Jingle and Sparkle were the entertainment, along with DJ Jam. Everything was going well. "So Dexter, how are you holding up?" asked Hannah.

"I'm fine." answered Dexter.

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"You actually helped me. I thank you for it too, but I'm no wuss, mind you."

"You mean not anymore."

"Check the trash talking at the door." and Dexter went to his date with drinks in paws.

"Hannah, what are you doing?" asked Howdy.

"Just checking in on dexter, he was hurt when I broke up with him." Hannah answered.

"He got over you, now let's go dance on the floor."

"Hello, Miri." greeted Stan.

"Hi Stan." Miri greeted back.

"So how long have you been with Panda?"

"Is that any of your business?"

"Just wondering..."

"And you and Ruby?"

"Still in that 'just met' phase."

"Don't screw it up, okay?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just, don't hurt her, or yourself."

"Still wish it was us, huh?"

"Nope, Panda's much better. I bet he's even bigger than you are."

"So you're fucking..."

"No, caught him wanking off, and saw it, nothing more, nothing less."

"Jam, let's go dance." Roll whined.

"On the next song." said Jam, still gigging to his usual game.

"I mean ACTUAL dancing, not the floor step mumbo jumbo we always do."

"Fine, next song."

"Please, can we go now..."

"Roll.... ah hell, let's go."

On the floor, some of the other couples were already dancing. "Listen Sandy, I wanna talk about what happened during the whole Oxnard ordeal." Maxwell began...

but the suject was soon changed, "I know Maxy, we're totally back to normal." said Sandy.

"But..."

"Jam is a bit like a philosopher, but don't let it get to you, I love you just the way you are."

"Really?"

"Of course... Now if I can only get you to put less attention to those books of yours..."

"Hey, what's that supossed to mean?"

"Pepper..."

"Not a word Oxnard, let's just dance." Pepper cut off her date.

"I have to say this though, Pepper." Oxnard tried again.

"I don't want to hear it, let's just dance. We'll talk later."

"If you say so..."

"Becky..."

"Snoozie..."

"I love you."

"I love you too..."

"Our sex is great."

"Very great."

"Will you..."

"I'm already yours."

"No, no, no. I want you doggy style."

"When it's time, when it's time."

"So how do you want it this time, Bijou?"

"Which way have we not tried yet?"

"I dunno, we've been at it all week like rats."

"So you're gonna give me ten minutes, non?"

"Maybe, if this party hasn't tuckered me out."

"You know what Boss, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"So exactly when is the sex part?"

"Patience my darling, patience."

Cappy and Penelope found their way into one of the rooms. The two locked and barricaded the door, so no one was getting in. "Are you ready Cappy?" asked Penelope.

"Sure am Pen," answered Cappy. "I'm still not sure why you want this now though."

"Because it has to be done, now let me work my magic and we can go back to the party."

"Okay, but make it quick. I don't want anyone to notice we're not there."

"Sorry Cappy honey, this can't be rushed."

Penelope walked over to Cappy, who was sitting on the bed, and sat in his lap. The hams glared each other and shared a kiss, then Cappy was placed on his back. Penelope removed the pink cloak she wore to the party and exposed herself to Cappy again. She had more confidence around Cappy, but the timid ham still concealed herself under a blanket, or sheet, or whatever. With that, Penelope took to Cappy's chest, giving it kisses all the way to where she sat. Cappy watched as Penelope lapped his cock, making his eyes roll, then it was all in Penelope's mouth. Panda, you did good with the beds man, they're so comfy. he thought. Penny, don't stop. This feels good. Penelope bobbed away on Cappy, she knew exactly how to make Cappy coo. Cappy just fell back to his pleasure and cooed, it was killing his cock with ecstasy. Cappy was sucked for three minutes, then he unloaded in Penelope's mouth and even while he unloaded, Penelope still sucked on him until the last drop left him. After the young hams recovered, Penelope recloaked herself and the two rejoined the party, but Jam saw them come out of the room.... and simply leered them.

Well, that was a little too quick, even for a quickie. The Capster probably got blown into. Jam pondered the situation in his mind as he danced with Roll.

"Something on your mind, Jam?" asked Roll.

Jam answered, "This is more than just a dancing party. Erok's work is in play here, and it isn't pretty."

"Of course not, it's sweet." As if on cue, the song ended. "Look at every couple here, every last one of these pairs have feelings for themselves. They've had to endure sadness, loneliness, losses of virginity and litters, near death experiences and the like. This is more like a 'litter making' party more than anything else, but the kicker here is... that everyone of these couples are ready to up their relationships, or start them."

"I see."

*

[My, oh, my, long ain't it? Well I guess I can spare you of all the boring details, huh? "It's about damn time." you say? No, not yet. I said it will be long and long it shall be.] The music was over and everyone was enjoying their lunch, it was a quiet one as well. There was no chat, just krumping, you could hear a cat trying to creep through the grass and that's quiet. The hams actually agreed on it this way, but that didn't mean minds weren't at work... Man, I can't wait to serenade this ham, she'll swoon over the song I have for her. thought Stan.

Stan's been so nice, thought Ruby. I'm actually having a great time with him, but I better keep an eye on this one. He seems so frisky...

Hmmm, maybe I can do Bijou in one of those French positions. thought Hamtaro. Nah, maybe like a cat. I heard they have three ways of sex.

What can zat Kama Sutra do for me? thought Bijou. Maxwell won't be needing zhis book, so I might as well keep eet. I like eet too, so many photos, all so cute... non?

Oxnard just ate his food. Pepper, I promise this time, you'll be happy.

I wonder what's in store for today anyway... wondered Pepper. Hopefully that city slicker won't die on me the next time we do it. That was not only scary, but embarrassing as well. No more making your balls cry, just a regular pace of screwing like field mice.

Maxwell eyed Sandy, I wonder if we'll do it again.... But then again, that's the whole purpose of this party.

Sandy eyed Maxwell as well, I am soooo going to get you totally laid. And Maxy's a big boy too, he's probably got the length of the guys. I wonder how long Jam is..... then again, he can't be bigger than my Maxwell now can he...

Erok's work is at hand here, but Roll did make a good point. Jam was still pondering what Roll had told him before lunch. If everyham here is ready to step it up a notch, then there's much more to this party than it shows. We'll find our soon enough.

I wonder, what does Ruby actually see in Stan? That horny jerk is probably doing this for a piece of ass. Roll thought. I don't take kindly to those who hurt my friends, so you had better treat her good, or it'll cost ya' your pride, Stan.

Miri didn't like the vibe here, it was a bit too quiet for her taste. I wish someone would say something, anything. It was starting to drive her mad. I'll even hear about Aunt Viv and Elder Ham if it means so form of conversing. Someone say somethiiiiiiiing!!!!!

I wonder if Miri will have sex with me... thought Panda. I know we're good friends, but are we this close? I dunno, but I'm glad she's having a good time. And even if she doesn't want to, it's okay. I'm just glad she came with me.

The tension is so thin, you can cut it with a dull butter knife. thought Jingle. Somebody's waiting for someone to screw up just to go off on 'em. I know it won't be me. My money's on Jam.

The hams made ti through lunch without saying a word, every single ham was done eating. Now was the time for the party to resume.... too bad it didn't happen yet. Finally, the silence was broken. "So Jam, tell us how you met up with Roll." said Sandy.

Thank you, someone's talking. Miri's mind was now at ease.

"Okay, sure, if you tell me how you got interested in good ol Max." said Jam.

"Deal." Sandy chimed, "I wanna hear all about it."

"Ladies first."

"Motion for Jam to go first..."

Everyone raised a paw, "....well now, guess I've no choice now. Well, it was a nice day in spring....

Flashback is now on cue.

"I was simply doing what I do best, getting down, when I saw some of the other boars surrounding something. 'I wonder what's that all about.' said Jam and went over to the others. He saw that the Ra males had a female trapped. It's a sunny, he thought (a sunny is what you call a female Ra BTW). The only way they would corner her like that is if she's receptive.

"So a gigged my way to the hams and found out the story's proned true, she was receptive at the time.... very receptive. 'Come on Roll, don't be shy, we all want the same thing.' one said.

'You horny bastards, leave me alone!' Roll yelled.

'Stop acting like you don't want to do it.' said another ham.

'I don't wanna do it you horny boars.'

'Well, your scent says 'Please screw me!' So why don't you present the goods and give us all a ride?'

"With that, I made me a plan. 'Hey you guys, what's up?' Jam asked.

'Hey Jam!' the hams yelled.

Jam eyed Roll. 'Roll, thank goodness I found you. You really shouldn't be running off in the season, you attract the fellas that way. How am I supossed to take you to my folks when you're nowhere to be found.'

"Luckily for me, Roll caught on quickly. 'Well, I-'

'No excuses, your folks will have my hide if anything happens to you.'

'Wait a minute, you know this one?' three of the hams asked.

'We met in the fall and I promise my folks, and hers, that I'd take her to meet up. C'mon Roll, let's go.'

'But I-'

'C'mon gal, shake the booty!'

"With that, I ran paw in paw with Roll away from those hams. Once we were in the clear, I let her go and we walked normally. 'You okay?' Jam asked.

'Yeah, I am now.' Roll answered.

'Oh wait, we haven't introduced yet.'

'No I don't believe we have.'

'Jam I am, who are you?'

'Roll am I, how d'you do?'

'I do good, how 'bout you?'

'I'm in heat, aren't you too?'

'Yes and no.'

'Ha, ha, ha.'

'Well, let's go.'

'Where?'

'To meet my folks of course, where else? 'Sides, you do owe me one, so let's go.'

End flashback.

"With that, Roll met my folks and vice versa, and we have been traveling together since then."

"So you met Roll while she was highly receptive?" asked Stan slyly.

"Yup."

"So how is she in bed?"

"Haven't got that far yet."

"You mean you haven't like, did it yet?" asked Sandy.

"Nope, still a virgin."

"Have you even thought about having sex with Roll?" asked Hamtaro.

"Nope."

"Do you even want to have sex with Roll?" asked Maxwell.

Jam shrugged with his eyes closed, "That's not my choice, it's Roll's."

"But mating eez a two-way street..." said Bijou.

"Females don't have much 'say-so' in the world,--I mean no disrespect by this gals, by the way.--Females don't have many types of 'say-so' in the world, but of the ones that the world gives them, the biggest is who to have sex with willingly. A guy can chase many hams ripe for copulation and the reproductive cycle, but the gal has the choice of whom to do it with. I may sound sexist, though it's not my intention, but that's how the world sees it nowadays."

"Oh really..." all the female hams gave Jam the look...

But Jam kept a cool head. "Here's a very obvious example, one you gals can relate too:

"Stan goes after all the gals except for Sandy, who's his sister, but every other girl is considered fair game... Well, yeah, I can put Penelope in this too, though she seems young, but breedable as Cappy proved. Though Stan goes after all the gals, despite the scowls and what he considers 'idle threats' of the other guys, you ladies chose whom you all wanted to be with. I am wrong?"

"No." the female hams answered.

"And despite Stan persistence which you may call obnoxious, you still shoot him down and chose whom you want to be with, wrong?"

"No."

"And now you have chosen, or seem to have chosen that ham, you seem comfortable with your choices, right ladies? Answer one at a time."

"Right." answered Sandy.

"Oui." answered Bijou.

"True." answered Pepper.

"Yup." answered Pasahmina.

"Yup." also answered, Hannah.

"It's sensible." answered Sparkle.

"You're right, Jam." answered Miri.

"Uh huh." answered Penelope.

"Sounds right to me." answered Becky.

"So true." answered Ruby.

"I know I'm comfy," answered Hamina, "but I can't say the same for the other gals."

"I agree with Hamina." said Roll.

"Why do you agree with Hamina, Roll?" asked Jam.

"Because it's the right answer." answered Roll.

"Well, Sparky, why'd you say it was sensible?"

"Because it is."

"Explain how so."

".....I can't, but I know it just is."

"Well, Hamina and Roll answered properly. And while the majority of you know what you want in this lament, Sparky... you still have doubt about your sensible choice. For there is nothing sensible about this matter, it is something that must be known like the rest of the girls know. There is much for you to understand about relations, Sparky."

With that, Jam turned his attentions to Sandy and he had a grin on his face. "Your turn, Sandy, so spill the beans." said Jam.

"Okay." said Sandy, then she clears her throat. "What I like about Maxwell... I like Maxwell because he's smart and puts a lot into everything he does. He's always giving advice to those who need it. His advice and wisdom are something out of the ordinary, like, he sits with Elder Ham and quotes wisdom like the sages."

"Interesting. Very pure words... especially coming from one who isn't pure."

"Are you saying I'm not a cherry?"

"NO, I'm saying you had sex before. Cherries have had anal sex, you aren't a virgin."

"And what does that mean Jam, that you think I'm not a virgin like you?"

"It means that I can prove you aren't a virgin at all."

"I don't think you can..."

"Lay on your back, I'll prove it without screwing you."

"Wait a minute..."

"What's wrong, you aren't afriad of letting the truth strike you, right? Or are you ready to admit your true nature, what's wrong Sandy? Come prove yourself right..."

".....Fine, prove me wrong."

Sandy turns to Maxwell and lays on her back and Jam walks backwards to her left side. "Lap at my finger, Max." said Jam.

"I'm not licking your paw." said Maxwell.

"Fine, I'll put it in dry then."

Jam placed his index finger inside of Sandy's crotch and moved it around inside of her. Hmm, her hymen's still intact. Jam thought, then moved his finger around again. Well now, so you're one of those 'Fudge Freeway' knid of gals? Yuck, butt fucking is a no-no. "Well, time to let my finger out." and there was the problem... "Um, Sandy, Would you unlock my finger now?"

"Pull out of her, Jam." said Maxwell.

"Will you reword that so it's more tasteful, please?"

"Take that damn thing out of her!"

"Try again, Max."

"Remove your finger, please?" plead Sandy.

"Unlock my paw."

Jam began to pull his paw from Sandy's insides, but he wouldn't budge. It was like Sandy was pulling his finger deeper inside her. "Pull out already!" Maxwell yelled.

"Why don't you gimme a hand here, Max." Jam said.

"Why me?"

"Who's girl is she?"

"Mine."

"Well quit being an ass and help me."

Jam pulled as Maxwell helped out. Sandy on the other hand, was blushing on all of this. This is sooo emberrassing. she thought. Totally uncool this is, but in spite of all this, I'm kind of getting turned on to the ordeal... and this is just Jam's finger. What am I thinking, I love Maxwell, not Jam?! Oh, this is wrong, but it's soo feeling natural.

"Put some muscle into it, Max." said Jam.

"Maybe we should get another ham to help." suggested Maxwell.

"We're just trying to pull my finger out of Sandy's pussy, not yank my arm out and dislocating it in the process."

"Get out, get out, get out!" Sandy cried.

"Unlock your damn lips from my finger and release my finger."

The other hams were feeling sorry for Sandy and were worried about her, except for Bijou. She was actually amused by this problem, and the grin on her face was proof. Ooh la la, zhees will be a very interesting outcome. she thought. I wonder how everything shall turn out afterwards...

Jam's ears picked up something, Wait a--Is Sandy queifing? I'm making Sandy queif. he was very shocked. This is just my finger doing this... Sandy must masturbate often in her cage, such a horny cow you are...

Wait, something's not right here... thought Sandy.

Jam now saw the expression on Sandy's face, "You're actually enjoying this?"

"No!" Sandy answered.

"It's all over your face, you're blushing." said Jam.

"Sandy..." Maxwell was starting to get frustrated.

"I'm not enjoying this." Sandy cried, then thought I am sooo sorry, Maxwell. Please don't be mad with me.

Zhees just keep getting better... Bijou was very pleased. I see somezhing big about to happen.

"Sandy, you really can grip a guy." says Jam.

"What's that supossed to mean?" asked Maxwell.

"If she can grip my finger this well, imagine what she'll do to your dick."

"That's not funny!"

"Sandy girl, you got a strong piece of heaven here, I can't even pull my finger out of you."

"You think I'm trying to keep you in me?"

"I think you're picturing my finger as Maxwell's dick."

"Just pull it out."

Jam and Maxwell continued to pull, still getting nowhere, but Sandy sure was. This... must... stop... Sandy still mentally moaned away at her problem. I can't take much more of this.

Jam was starting to get annoyed. "You okay Sandy?" he asked.

Sandy answered softly, "I... coming."

"Didn't quite hear that, Sandy."

"I'm gonna cum!"

"You're gonna what?!" yelled Maxwell.

"YOU BETTER NOT!"

The two hams put in more muscle, trying to pull jam's finger out of Sandy, who was moaning away. While all of this happened, Bijou was struggling to keep herself content. Eet just gets better. Bijou was losing control over herself, the french ham began to mentally cheer. Or-ga-sm. Or-ga-sm. Cum Sandy, cum. Cum Sandy, cum. Spray your juice, shoot it like a gun. Cum Sandy, cum. Or-ga-sm.

"Bijou, are you okay?" Hamtaro asked.

"No, nonononononono." Bijou answered.

"What's wrong?"

"Eet's leeterally about to get juicy, I can't hardly wait. Ooh-whoo."

"Can't... hold... on..." Sandy moaned away.

"Don't have your orgasm yet." Jam said.

"I.... I.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" With a high pitched squeal, Sandy had her orgasm. Please forgive me, Maxwell... she thought.

Jam was not too pleased, "Man, it's all over my arm... yeech!" Jam whined. Jam pulled his hand from Sandy's body. "You just couldn't hold it, could you?"

Sandy didn't answer, she was just gasping for air. "You see what you did? This is all your fault!" Maxwell was some kind of POed. "I am highly mad at you, Jam!"

"You act like I wanted this to happen." Jam retorted. "Don't get mad because Sandy found odd pleasure from my finger."

"You asshole..."

"Look, I got sprayed by Sandy, not you. I smell like Sandy's wet fantasies of you. Bah, I'm going to clean up rather than argue, Max. I don't like to smell like pussy."

Jam went off to clean himself, but Maxwell stopped him. "We aren't done yet." said Maxwell.

"Get over it, this was unnexpected." Jam said calmly

"I'm the only guy that gives Sandy orgasms, ya' got that?"

This turned heads, "I told you about wording your phrases, real graceful, Max."

"So I had a snack, big deal."

"I'm outta here."

"Get back here."

"Just let him go." said Hamtaro.

Jam went off into the tall grass to clean himself off, wiping himself on the blades of grass. Why now goes negative kung have to approach me? he thought, wiping more of Sandy's juices from his person. Great, now Max is gonna ride me for the rest of the day. I'd leave and let Roll enjoy the party, but this is a couples thing. Plus I wouldn't want to make Roll's great time here go to waste because of what happened with Max and I. The next best thing is to keep my distance from Maxwell for the day, that should keep him cool and give me a chance to keep Roll out of trouble. It's obvious that I'll be dodging shotgun shells for the day 'til 'tis over.

*

After everyone was collected from the ordeal of 'Splatterhouse O Plenty', the hams continued their party. As said, Jam kept his distance not only from Maxwell, but from Sandy as well. Though it cost him some enjoyment of the party. "Jam, are you okay?" Roll asked him.

"No, but I'll get through this dance." Jam answered. Two minutes later the song ended, "I need a breather, b-r-b."

"Don't take too long." Roll said, and watched Jam leave the clubhouse...

but that's not all who watched him leave. Maxwell did also and headed after him. "Going somewhere, Maxwell?" asked Sandy.

"Just to chat with Jam." Maxwell answered.

"Don't hurt him, that was an unexpected turn of events."

"Still..."

"Maxwell, promise me, like, you're just gonna talk and nothing more."

"I promise." And after Jam he went.

Jam sat there against a rock and stared into the clouds. "So much for being considerate." he began to think aloud. "Unlike all the hams I know and converse with, I'm the one they describe as 'considerate.' Well if that's the case, where does consideration come in when you fingerbang a girl when you didn't intend to? Man, just when you think you've rid yourself of negative kung, it somehow sneaks back to you. I guess this is what I get for being neutral, not taking sides on things, perhaps this is why stuff like this happens to me... What do you think Max?"

"You heard me?" Maxwell asked.

"No, I just knew you'd follow me."

"Oh."

"So, what's up?"

"Just want to talk, you?"

"Out to catch a breather, try to keep my distance from you and Sandy."

"Really now?"

"So how many times have you reared Sandy?"

"Well-"

"Be honest, I know you were taking the back door."

"Once. Sandy and I don't really discuss this much in front of the other hams."

"It's none of their concern."

"Exactly."

"So are we..."

"Yeah, we're cool." The two hams shook, balance restored. "So do you ever plan to you know, lay Roll?"

"Not my decision."

"I see."

As the party went on, everyone was having a good time, and not only with themselves and their dates, but with the others as well. Even Sparkle had a change of heart around the hams. But like all good things, this party must come to an end. "Anyway, it's that time ladies and gentlehams." Boss announced while holding Hamina's paw. "Now we can get down to the-"

"Geez, you're so tight." Snoozer said. "You're locking me in place here."

"Rub my labo, Snoozie, I like it when you rub my labo." moaned Becky.

"Hold on, lemme turn for a minute. Okay, how's that?"

"Much better."

Boss had a sweatdrop, "I guess you don't have to tell them twice." he said.

"Hey," said Hamtaro, "we're missing some pairs here."

"Hamtaro, don't be rude. Now as I was saying..."

Boss continued his lecturing with the present hams, while the other one were already in the rooms going at it. Stan was in one room with his partner, back against the door, while Ruby blew into him. "You know what, you Ra hams are all right in my book." Stan said then stifled another moan. "I'll make sure you get your fill of me, babe."

"Hmm mmm mmph humph." was what Ruby tried to say.

"Just a little longer babe."

After a few more seconds of sucking, Stan relinquished his cock from Ruby's mouth. Afterwards, he locked the door and carried Ruby over to the bed. "Okay, now I shall whisk you with my serenade." said Stan. And what was this in the form of... a special dance just for her with maracas in paw.

Ruby just laughed at this, "Please stop, you're killing me." she cried, trying not to hurt his feelings.

"Is something wrong with my moves?"

"With these moves, yes. Look, you danced better during the party. Don't mess up now Stan, you might not score with me."

"I see." Stan joined Ruby on the bed, "I guess I better cut the crap and make my point then, huh?"

"Don't act like an ass in front of the sunny you're trying to woo. More guys blow it with useless crap and end up alone in the season."

"Well show me how you would woo a mate with dance..."

"I thought you would never ask..."

With that, Ruby got up and faced Stan, then began to dance for him, showing the flirt how to woo with footwork, making him mentally take notes. "Understand anything yet?" Ruby asked.

"Got it." Stan answered. "However, if I tried dancing like that, it wouldn't look right."

Of course, you're a guy. "Well show me what you learned."

"Okay, but don't say I told you so."

Stan and Ruby switched places and the orange ham began to dance like Ruby had showed him, only more with a male's flare to it. Ruby shook her head. "Thank goodness you didn't try this back home, you'd never get a sunny." Ruby said giggling. "But at least you have heart."

"I can't dance like you." said Stan.

"Then why did you try to?"

"I give, you're too good for me. I might as well just forget about coutship dancing and stick to what I do better, being a technician."

"Show me."

Stan began first off, by putting Ruby on her belly and began to rub her back down. "So exactly what colour is your coat?"

"My name is my coat."

"So how come you aren't bright like Roll?"

"I'm not the same Ra ham like Roll."

"Really?"

"There are three types of Ra hams; Bleeding Ra hams, like myself and Jam, Blazing Ra hams like Roll, and Starburst Ra hams."

"So let's see if you like this way..."

Stan went around the circle of the sunspot on her back in a counterclockwise spiral. He knows the right pattern, but not the right way. Ruby thought.

Let's try the points, this is getting me nowhere. thought Stan. This time, it worked. He hit the points of the sun in an odd sequence, but it was making Ruby moan and coo. He kept up this patter and ended up with Ruby presenting herself. With a smirk, Stan mounted the Bleeding Ra ham, stroking the east ans west point of the sun, making Ruby coo further. Momma never said anything about this. Though I know all the patterns that can entice, this ain't one of them. she thought, moaning further. Stan has more technique than he shows. "Casanova" placed his paws on the east and west points of the sun and began his pumping into Ruby, making instant queifs come from her. This is where the music plays. he thought.

"Ki Mon-yan, uki! Uki! Uki!" Ruby squealed and moaned.

"Oh really?, I think it's time to sing it loud."

The song was heard through the clubhouse, "Ki Mon-yan, Ki Mon-yan, Ki-i Mon-ya-ahn. Ki Mon-yan, Ki Mon-yan, Ruby's Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Mon-ya-ahn!"

Jam was on the floor rolling. "What's crying now!?" asked Bijou.

"Rubies, what else?" countered Jam, still rolling.

"Uki, uki, uki, uki!" Ruby's squeals could be heard throughout the clubhouse.

"Sang it babe, sang it!" Stan yelled.

"Uki!"

Jam, still rolling on the floor, was now in tears. "Damn!" was all he could get out.

"Uki! Uki! Uki-i!"

"Sang it babe, sang it!"

"Keep it down back there!" yelled Pashmina from her room.

"Ahhhhhhhhh Shaddap!" Stan yelled back. "Sang it Ruby, let my power be known!"

"Next time, I make the rooms soundproof." said Panda.

Back in the room, Stan had Ruby on her back and squealing to her heart's content. "Satisfied?" Stan asked.

"Do I have to answer that?" asked Ruby.

"No, but I'm just making sure."

"Oh Great Hams... Uki-i-i-i!"

"Quit fighting it, you know you wanna' burst."

"So... close."

"When it hits, sang it loud."

Stan's thrusts only deepened, making Ruby want to close her legs, but Stan would keep them carcked and eventually... "Ukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Ruby had her climax, which was heard throughout the clubhouse, then passed out. I've heard about making your presence know, but that was ridiculous. Pashmina thought as the ringing in her ears was starting to subside.

"Feeling better now that Ruby's not yelling anymore, darling?" asked Dexter.

"A little."

"Now where was I?"

"Collecting flower nectar."

"That's right."

Dexter continued to lap at Pashmina, making her coo and hold Dexter's face in place. His tongue pleased her, making Pashmina fight her ready to release orgasm. Her breath was already quick, Man, I can't take much more of this. she thought. She felt Dexter lapping at her, she was having her orgasm, but it was only dribbling from her body, not being shot out in streams. but after three laps, Pashmina's climax streamed from her body and into Dexter's mouth. She sighed and panted, knowing that once Dexter's tongue was finished cleaning her insides, she would get reaquainted with the lizard. "Whenever you're ready to give it to me..." was the last thing that she said.

"But of course." said Dexter.

Dexter mounts Pashmina and begins to thrust away at her, making her coo and hold Dexter tightly. Though she was on her back, Pashmina still considered herself mounted. Hello, I'm glad we're together again. thought Pashmina, mentally introducing herself to Dexter's cock. Please rub me against my sweet spot, you know where it is. Queifing sounds left Pashmina and she sighed, Thank you Mr. Lizard, you make me feel so good. Pashmina was now happy once again, her natural lubes coated Dexter as he pumped into her crotch. "Is it in the right spot?" asked dexter.

"Uh huh." answered Pashmina.

"Good."

Pashmina started moaning under her breath, she was now focused on her task at hand. Dexter was thinking about the imminent, but it didn't stop him from pleasing Pashmina. He knew he was doing a good job, because he heard Pashmina uki under her breath. Her breaths shortening and fast paced, Pashmina was ready to go again. "I'm ready to...." her climax beat her voice and she was out cold.

Dexter just got off of her, "Sleep well, Pashmina." he said softly and lay next to her.

In another room, the young hams were going at it. In truth, they were the first ones to get down. "Cappy, I have to peak." said Penelope.

"Not yet, wait for me." said Cappy.

"Well you better hurry up."

"Pace yourself."

But it was no use, Penelope released anyway, coating Cappy's rod. He then pulled out to splatter her belly, then rolled next to her.

Howdy had Hannah in his own room, trying to get intimate with her, but Hannah refused all of his advances. "What'd I do now?" asked Howdy.

"I know how much you want to get some Howdy," Hannah explained, "and you're real sweet and all, but as close as we are, I just don't want it."

"So you're not in the mood?"

"NO, I am. I just.... want us to get closer. Courting is a complex thing Howdy, but I'm not really into the whole mating thing. Not yet Howdy, we need to get closer more, than I'll put out for you."

"Something tells me that you still have feelings for Dexter."

"Well yes, I do, but I'm over him and I just want him to be okay. I really stung his pride when I called him a wimp, now it's eating away at me."

"Blah, blah, blah, stop worrying about him, Dexter's fine... if not laid by now. I understand if you don't wanna screw, but at least gimme some head."

"I'm not too keen on that."

"Okay, but can we at least make out?"

"Fine, we can make out, but no puata."

"Fine by me." And two close friends share kisses. Oh well, this wasn't a total waste. I didn't get much game, but I got to first base...

"Hamina, if you'll follow me..." said Boss.

"No, let's go to my place." suggested Hamina. "I can please you a lot better than I can here."

"Fine, but I get to sample you here."

"Deal." and off they went.

"Did you have any notion that this was a sex party?" asked Miri.

"I sure didn't." answered Jingle.

"I thought we were gonna battle on the floor myself," said Jam, "I see now that wasn't the case."

"Sacré bleu!"

Those hams turned to see Hamtaro and Bijou banging in the "cat hunchover" position. "Wow, They aren't shy at all." said Miri. "They didn't even head for a room."

"They invited us to watch them mate the first time when their owners let them for support." explained Panda. "It was some interesting stuff."

"Was Bijou happy?" asked Jam.

"She didn't get pregnant." answered Oxnard.

"I guess that's a 'no.' then." said Jingle.

"You want a room, Pepper?" asked Oxnard.

"Nah, we can screw mighty fine at Kana's." answered Pepper.

"I think we should go." said Roll.

"Okay." said Jam. "Tell the hams I said see ya', Hamtaro."

Hamtaro averted his attention. "Sure, bye-Q." he said and went back to fucking Bijou in their corner.

"French hams nowadays, that just ain't right." said Sparkle. "Exhibitionists, try horny-"

"You obviously wanna get laid, so we'll take the last room." said Jingle, picking up Sparkle and heading that way. "Nice meeting you Jam and Roll, I hope we meet again."

"Of course." said Jam, and together with Roll, they left the clubhouse.

"This is a little too much for me." said Miri, obviously sickened by the last turn of events. "Will you take me home, Panda?"

"Yeah, let's go." said Panda.

"Wait for us." said Oxnard and those four friends left.

Sandy and Maxwell had been in their room for forty-five minutes, but nothing had happened in that time span. Maxwell approached Sandy for a twentieth time and Sandy moved away from him. "Will you tell me what's wrong with you now?" Maxwell asked.

"I'm scared." answered Sandy.

"Why, we've done this thing before?"

"Not at that, at the 'event' we had." Maxwell was silent. "PLease don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Sandy, I never was."

"I..."

"Sandy, don't feel bad because you didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I should be sorry for being over protective of you."

"But, you do, like, forgive me, right?"

She still thinks that sh'e in the wrong. "Of course I do, now let me hold you."

"So aside from the abnormal stuff, did you enjoy your time here?" asked Jingle.

"I dun wanna fuck." was all Sparkle said.

"You need to lie better."

"Jingle, please don't force this on me. Sex is a serious thing, and I don't want to rush into it."

"Yes, but you don't even understand your body language."

"Huh..."

"Jam told me about your behavior. I thought it was a joke, but then I started reading your body language. Though you didn't even know it, you gave away all the signs of copulation this whole day."

"Explain."

"The warm eye candy, constant shivering, chronic trips to the bathroom, you probably even went to explore your body when you ran into the grass at lunch. All the signs are there... you're ready, but you don't want to physically admit it to yourself."

"Your touch is so soothing." Sandy commented.

"Your coat is very soft." Maxwell commented.

"Do I have to say it?"

"No, I don't need you to, I already know."

"Okay."

"Are you ready to come out now?"

"Of course." Sandy turned to him, their eyes met. "Onegai Maxwell, daidé!" [I hope I said that right...]

Maxwell smiled. "...Fine, but let's try the other way now." With that, Maxwell lay Sandy down on the bed facing him and to her suprise, Maxwell put a condom on. "You do know what's coming, right?"

"Yes, just be gentle with me, okay?"

"Of course."

Sandy exposed her flower to Maxwell and he wasted little time. Onto and into Sandy he went, making sure he was all the way in... and making Sandy's eyes flow rivers. Maxwell worked slowly, but it didn't matter because Sandy was in tears. He began to question if oral sex was too much for her. "Do you want me to stop?"

"You'll have to do this anyway, so you might as well do it now."

"You sure?"

"Totally, just stay gentle with me... even though it hurts."

Maxwell continued to slowly thrust into Sandy, bringing her more pain and tears in the process. She knew Maxwell was big, almost three quarters of a hamster ruler, but she knew hse had to take it this way at least once. Maxwell looked at his cock and noticed Sandy's blood on the condom and pulled out of her. He wasn't pleased with the site. That's a bit too much blood. Luckily I know how to stop this...

Maxwell worked quickly and managed to stop Sandy's bleeding. He just sat there next to her, removing the bloody rubber from his organ. "Feeling better Sandy?" he asked.

"A little." Sandy answered. "Well let's get back to it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Sandy pawed Maxwell.

"Whenever you're ready."

"Hold on, gimme a while."

For the first time, Sandy actually took Maxwell into her mouth. It wasn't all of it, but she had just about half, but favored the shallows. Maxwell gave Sandy another condom and she put it on him with her mouth, and Maxwell did it the rest of the way. The rest was deja vu, and now it didn't hurt Sandy. The athletic valley girl was happy to be on her back, and happier that her ideal mate had himself on top of her. "Maxwell, don't stop." Sandy moaned.

"Don't plan to for a while." said Maxwell. Now sex was starting to get interesting for Maxwell, he now felt Jam's pain. Jam was right, he thought. Sandy CAN really grip a guy.

If you think I locked Jam in Maxwell, I'm going to take a page out of that book and pull you deeper in me. Sandy thought. Now it's a shame hamsters can't lock their mates like canines can. It wasn't long before Maxwell sped up their tempo, which made Sandy grip her mate even tighter. She closed her eyes tightly, knowing was was left to come... herself. "Would you be mad if I..." Sandy said.

"No, just relax and let yourself go." answered Maxwell.

Sandy wrapped her arms around Maxwell and climaxed, coating Maxwell's rod and making him unload shortly afterwards. The two hams fell asleep that way. Meanwhile, Boss and Hamina were already done. "So, ready to go to my place yet?" asked Hamina.

"Not yet," Boss answered. "I want the rest of the gang to leave first."

Jingle and Sparkle were wrapping things up themselves. "Don't be afraid Jingle, give it to me." Sparkle plead, her white cheeks had a cherry blush to them.

"Here..." said Jingle and plastered Sparkle's face and chest.

Jingle got off of Sparkle and lay next to her, both were huffing and puffing away. "So how was I?" asked Sparkle.

"I'm not complaining," Jingle answered. "You?"

"That... was my first time. Jingle, you'll come by and court me more, right?"

"Anytime I'm around, Sparky."

"Okay..." Sparkle held Jingle close to her with a deeper blush. She truly loved him and was happy he took her purity.

*

The Next day, the guys had their bragging rights. "Man, I did it for twelve minutes yesterday, Bijou was very pleased." said Hamtaro.

"True, but I had Pashmina so well the other day, she was speechless." said Dexter.

"That's because she fell asleep." added Cappy. "I hit it twice that day."

"You don't know anything."

"Penelope and Pashmina chat a lot and Pen told me the details."

"Whe I took Pepper home, she felt like lighting one up after the sex we had." said Oxnard. "Even Kana couldn't get me off of her, and she tried too."

"Yeah, so what. I got more play than the lot of ya'." said Boss. "I almost pulled off every trick in the Kama Sutra on Hamina last night."

"Becky had no complaints... zu, zu, zu..." Of course, Snoozer puts in his share of rights.

"Bah, you're all rookies," said a contented Stan. "I know you all heard my making Ruby's Ki Monyan the other day. I scored better than Boss did, and you all heard the proof."

"Your proof almost killed the mood for me and Pashmina." said Dexter.

"Hey, what can I say, I got the magic stick. I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice..."

"Well I'm glad you guys go to fuck." said an upset Howdy. "I had to stay at first base."

"Someone didn't make it to second I see." said Dexter.

"No matter, I hit a grand slam." said Stan.

"What about you Maxwell, how did things go with Sandy?" asked Hamtaro.

"Let's just say she learned a new trick." said Maxwell.

And the girls were just the same, if not worse. "I laid the longest out of all of you." said Bijou.

"Right, like Hamtaro had the mighty man where it counts." said Sandy. "I had the biggest dick in me."

"I dealt with my hummingbird the right way." said Pashmina and folded her arms.

"Yeah, too bad you couldn't stay awake after it." said Penelope.

The other girls laughed. "Yeah, well you didn't add to the Kama Sutra like I did, ladies." said a sassy Hamina.

"Even so, but I wrote my own."

The girls turned to see Ruby join them. "I'm in shock that you aren't horse after all that wailing you did yesterday." said Pashmina.

"I know when it's good, Pashmina." said Ruby, then she turned to Sandy. "And your brother behaved after he tried to dance like a girl."

"No way." said Sandy.

"Wanna see the photos?"

"I do, I do." said Bijou and Penelope.

"So Stan, you and Ruby finished?" asked Hamtaro.

"Nope, I know where to reach her." answered Stan.

"What about you Panda, did you get any play?" asked Howdy.

"Nah, didn't want any." Panda answered.

"You sound like Jam." said Hamtaro.

"I know this Hamtaro, Miri and I are good friends. And good love making comes to those who wait."

"He's still horny." said Oxnard.

"I know I am." said Howdy, then frowned.

"You're just mad that I didn't jump on the 'Uki Express' with the lot of you." said Panda. "So who's pregnant?"

"Not mine." said the other hams.

"I'm not expecting." said some of the ham girls.

"I'm going to ze vet tomorrow." answered Bijou.

"Ruby, did Roll... you know?" asked Pashmina.

"Nope, even though she's receptive to my opinion." answered Ruby. "Jam is one of those guys who should he breed, will stand by the girl in question."

"Didn't even make it to first base, it's a shame." said Penelope.

"Jam's not a 'base' type of ham, Penelope. Uki's process is different to Jam."

"I bet you he's fucking Roll as we speak." said Pashmina.

"Maybe they are, but we won't know."

That's all the kat wrote, say your piece and cast your votes for Uki Stew. Ciao!