Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Food Basket ❯ Harry Potter and Therapy ( Chapter 1 )

The Food Basket.

Chapter One:

Harry and Therapy.

 

“Hi. I'm Harry, and I'm a bird.”

“Hi Harry.” The group chimed back at him. Harry sat back down on his tiny wooden chair and gazed around the circle. Having been the last to introduce himself, they got down to business. The group consisted of many disturbed individuals, there was; Tolkien-the very unhobbit-like self-proclaimed hobbit; George Bush- famous president of the United States of America-who thinks of himself as a munchkin; Stephen King- a gunslinger?-a very weird looking one if so; Tony Blair-the fairy wearing a tutu; the one known only as the Doctor; and `Sam'-the pirate.

Dr Freud started pacing the floor behind them, ready to strike.

“'Sam'! Tell us all your problems. We will fix you! This group has magical powers!” Freud bounced, waving his arms in the air emphatically. Harry peered around the group- definitely not... none of these people could possibly possess any magical power-they're all too...just no. Staring at Freud he tried to work it out-he hadn't told anyone of his powers-how could Freud possibly know?...or did he even know? The old man stumbled in his excitement, his grey hair sticking out all over the place-in his own little world-he definitely didn't know, concluded Harry, thank god!

`Sam' stood up; swaying violently as if he had just drank six bottles of rum to himself. Clutching at his belt and sticking out his chest in an effort to steady himself- or something- he began:

“Well, its Felicity” he burst into uncontrollable tears as he spoke her name. After a few seconds, he continued-fiddling with his dirty blonde plaited beard.

“She just won't speak to me anymore-I don't know what I've done wrong- and we've got to start sorting the wedding-it's only a week away...” he ranted at the unsuspecting circle of curious faces.

“Awww.” Was the general consensus.

“Err...sorry...but whom is Felicity?” Harry's voice came out no louder than a whisper. Flushing red, he tried to hide his face- wishing he had never spoken-everyone was staring at him.

“Argh, good question me boy!” grunted Freud and redirected the question to ` Sam'.

“You've never met Felicity?!” `Sam' cried incredulously. Most of the group shook their heads, except for George Bush- who nodded his head enthusiastically, thought for a second, and then shook his head.

“But she's my fiancée!” He peered around hopefully, but only saw looks of confusion, and blank stupidity. A wicked grin played across his face.

“But she's here! I'll introduce you! She's the most wonderful character you will ever meet! The conversations we've had! The feelings we share!” And with that, he pulled out a humungous rucksack from underneath his chair (the Doctor yawns, apparently uninterested) and rummaged around, chucking an assortment of items aside, including; the jaws of life and a rubber duckie.

“Eureka! I've found her!” He screeched in a cheap Swedish accent. Harry gripped the sides of his chair, hoping that this wasn't another one of his `episodes'.

“Tada!” `Sam' whipped out a hideous lime green straw hat, with a very furry mushroom protruding from the rim and an orange spotty ribbon.

“Felicity, meet...everyone!”

SILENCE

“Oh Felicity! Darling, honey-bunch, love of my life! Why won't you speak to me?! Just one measly word...”

SILENCE

“Oh darling, what have I done to deserve this silent treatment?! Please I can't take it anymore!”

Shocked, in awe, damn petrified in Harry's case, they all stared, some in disbelief others intently trying to work out why Felicity wouldn't talk to `Sam'. And Stephen King, waving shyly to Felicity, waiting for a response.

“Ach, enough of this codswallop!” Tolkien rose from is chair- grabbed hold of an unsuspecting Freud, with a vice-like grip, and roared;

“Frodo! We must get outta `ere, this is a waste of our time! We must travel to Mordor at once! The ring must be destroyed! Hobbits must survive- we are the superior race! The ring must be destroyed- cumon!” And with that...rather peculiar speech, he upped and left- yanking Freud along behind him, the door slamming shut with a loud crunch.

SILENCE

“Hurray! Now we can dance!” Tony Blair cried and swung Bush around frantically. The Doctor and the gunslinger- formally known as King- stared at the closed door, willing it to open with the power of their minds, that, or they had seen a mouse...

`Sam' continued raving at Felicity, blissfully unaware of his surroundings anymore, while Harry curled up in a ball in the corner, wishing for the floor to swallow him whole- realised that was impossible for now and proceeded to run away as fast as he could, never to return again, EVER, or at least until next Tuesday.