Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Piss me off and Die ❯ Chapter 20-21 ( Chapter 22 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
“Vincent! Vincent! Oh god help me, he's after me again. Gotta hide, gotta hide. Vincent! You bloody butler where the hell are you when I need you? Vincent!” Lillian yelled while running through the many halls of the Hellsing manor.
Vincent was in his office doing his normal set of paper work when he heard her …summons.
“Oh god what is it now?” he said out loud to no one in particular looking up. Seras walked in at that moment.
“Well judging from her screams and the time of the afternoon, I would say Master is chasing after Lillian to give her `appointment' or so he calls it. He takes great enjoyment in that too, tormenting her by playing doctor.”
She replied to him.
“Ah I see. Now there is just the decision of help her or don't help her. My, my decisions, decisions. I can go and help Lillian and face Alucard or stay here and face Lillian wrath when she returns to find me. There is of course actually helping Lillian by helping Alucard as Lillian needs the treatment but Lillian said if I ever helped Alucard again, she would go after my balls, so to speak.” He answered solemnly.
“Ouch. So you're doomed if you do and doomed if you don't.” Seras said walking up to his desk.
“So it would appear, but then of course it's always like that when Lillian is involved.”
Damn, damn, damn! I've only got my knife on me and a lot of help that's gonna be against him, damn bastard. Come out, come out where ever you are, Little Lillian…Ha ha ha ha.
“Stay out of my head you bloody bastard!” Lillian yelled out and shook her fist at the ceiling.
“Oh Lillian, right behind you…” Alucard said standing right behind her. Lillian whirled around to face Alucard, brushing his coat, he was that bloody close.
“Shit Alucard! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!” Lillian yelled at him pissed off. But then she saw what he held in his hands. That blasted gel and no, oh no it can't be, and that stupid medicine the doctor gave him. Lillian face fell and she started walking backwards.
“It's time for our appointment Lillian. Let doctor Alucard fix it for you and make it all better.” Alucard said walking towards her slowly with a knowing smile that he was going to win no matter what. Lillian had been far too high on the points scale and he needed to level the field.
“Come any more near me vampire I swear I will not let you out of this manor for a month!” Lillian said now backing into a wall and she saw she was cornered, he had lead her into a trap. Manipulative bastard! Lillian had long ago given up on Vincent. I'll be cutting his paycheck by 5% tomorrow.
“Oh but it's so worth it master, so much worth it.” He saw now he had her cornered. He loved playing these games with Lillian. Lillian saw she was cornered and her back was to the wall, she looked around for possible escapes but saw none.
“You can't escape Lillian, there's no where else to go, you're mine.” He said to her now right in front of her.
“Well then vampire I'll have to go through you now won't I.” Lillian replied smiling into his face. Alucard laughed out loud, his hands now on the wall behind her next to her shoulders, blocking her access to escape even more.
“Oh really Lillian and how do you plan on doing that, hmm? I've blocked off all your escape routes. You can't win, give it up and accept defeat, I've won.” Alucard said to her, now right in front of her face. She smiled up at him and said,
“Dear Alucard you should know by now that I never give up, I'm a Hellsing and not to mention I'm as stubborn as a bull.” He smiled some more, exposing fangs, this is what he loved about her. Lillian reached up and pretended to brush a bit of lint of his shoulder jacket and when he looked down at what she was doing, Lillian took her chance and shoved her knee into his crutch, which so happened to be right in front of her knee. Alucard went down and clutched himself,
“F**ken hell!” He yelled. Lillian now halfway down the hall looked back and said as she shook her head,
“Alucard, such profanities.” She then blew him a kiss and continued running trying to buy herself some time to get to a weapon. She just kept on running and saw the second level stairs just above her, we'll see who wins this round vampire, I hope you're still clutching your balls in pain cause when I get my shotgun, you won't have much left of them. The stairs was just a few meters away and the next thing Lillian sees is Alucard's familiar hellhound. She named him Bullet for some reason. It just suited him to her. Sending your dog after me now Alucard? Well I'm no sheep to be rounded up. The dog stood there growling at her, defending the second floor stairs.
“Sorry Bullet but I have no time to play.” She sidestepped and jumped away from him then ran to the rail and then jumped off the side. However when she looked down to her surprise she saw Alucard standing down there looking up, smiling extremely wickedly holding his arms out wide to catch her.
“S…H…I…T…!” She yelled, as she fell not able to do anything about it she landed in Alucard's arms.
“Ah, master how nice of you to drop in. I win.” He said laughing at his own joke.
“Let me go you foul demon of hell! I command you, release me immediately!” she said trying to get over the shock, while struggling in his arms at the same time. Alucard knowing from past experiences knew that Lillian did not like uncontrolled heights, especially when she couldn't control them.
“Ok.” He said and threw her into the air again above him. Lillian now realizing what he had down was screaming in the air, arms failing widely, trying to grab on to something, anything. When she started to fall again, Alucard caught her and said,
“You're going to be a good little girl now aren't you?” Lillian was nodding her head furiously trying to breathe pass her heart being in her throat while clutching Alucard tightly trying to get her bearings and become in touch with the earth again. Alucard also holding her tight, so she wouldn't get away and began walking towards the basement whistling a merry tune. When Lillian was herself again she was seething and looking venomously at Alucard.
“I can walk you know.” She said pissed off.
“I know you can master, but this makes me feel more manly holding you in my arms.” He replied smiling at her. All he could hear was death in her thoughts, and mainly about him. For one so young, she's quite creative.
“Yeah well you feel manly vampire, cause when I find my shotgun you're not going to feel manly for very much longer.”
Memo to self, continually shoot Alucard in the balls.
(A/N: if anyone is thinking of anything dirty, you dirty minded people! Think again. Lillian is a virgin! I tell you now there will not be a Lillian X Alucard pairing for reasons provided later. However there will be a Vincent X Seras pairing for the people wanting something for Seras and I think they fit well together cause Vincent being so similar to Walter and he's not an old man. There will be no kinkyness due to the rating PG-13. I'll leave any kinkyness to your dirty dirty minds.)
“I did it! I did it! I did it! I finally passed!” Lillian yelled bouncing around the manor's entrance. It was late afternoon and another rainy, cloudy day. One of those days where the weather just can't make up it's mind. Lillian enjoyed days like these for some reason. Vincent entered then, seeing what the commotion was about.
“Ah, Lady Lillian you're back. How did your driving test go?” Seras came out a second later following Vincent straightening herself up.
“I passed! And with flying colours too! Let today hence be known, that I Lillian Integra Elizabeth Hellsing achieved the unachievable and conquered the almighty elusive and annoying driving test!” Lillian said beaming proudly. Seven months it had taken her, seven long enduring months, but it was hers now, all hers.
“Well done Lillian I knew you would pass it eventually.” Though sooner than even I expected, Vincent finished in his head.
“Go Lillian, registered driver now.” Seras said clapping. Alucard walked out of the shadows at that moment and went up to Lillian who didn't notice him as she was doing a little dance. Alucard walked up to her and swiped the paper from her hands.
“Passed with flying colours hey master?”
“Hey give that back, it's mine!” Lillian yelled at him trying to grab it back, jumping up and down.
“Lillian Integra Elizabeth Hellsing, final score 51%. Yes master, flying colours indeed.” Alucard read out loud.
“Hey it's still a pass, so what if I have to take the driving test again every three months. Like you could ever pass it vampire.” Lillian said coolly, arms crossed, eyes as slits glaring at Alucard.
“Why drive those pathetic death traps you call motor vehicles when I can fly.” Alucard responded smugly.
“Our motor vehicles can fly too, moron.” Lillian replied.
“True however I do not need the aid of those big chunk of metal. Wait a minute, that's a bit odd, it states here that you are not to drive an airborne vehicle under any circumstances. I wonder why that is? Hmm?” Alucard replied slyly.
“You need a 90 or higher percent to drive one of those.” Lillian replied softly.
“But I don't care because I don't want to drive one of those or a car! I'm going to ride my Bi-modal airborne booster motorped! (Flying on road, off road motorcycle. A/N, I'm really crapy at names) Lillian said, mouth watering, eyes shining and fists clenched. Alucard just shook his head. Vincent now realizing something said,
“Ah Lady Lillian?”
“What.” Lillian replied, annoyed being pestered in her daydream.
“If you are wanting to ride your flying motorcycle you require a totally different license then you have just recently acquired.” Vincent said hesitantly.
“What!? Run that by me again Vincent.” Lillian said now steaming.
“You need another, different license to ride your motorcycle.” Vincent answered. Alucard began to smile, Seras backed off a bit.
“Are you meaning to tell me Vincent that I have wasted the last 7, count them, 7 months trying to get a drivers license for my motorbike and I've got the wrong one!?” Lillian yelled now realizing the situation.
“Well yes but it wasn't a complete waste of time Lady Lillian, you have your car driving license.” Vincent said very quickly. Alucard started to laugh madly at Lillian. She spun around,
“You shut up vampire!” Vincent looked down at his pocket watch, realizing the time said to Lillian,
“I do hate to be the bearer of bad news Lady Lillian but it is 2:45pm and you are running late for your appointment.”
“My appointment?” Lillian asked not realizing the date.
“Your appointment with the Vatican special section XII at 3pm, at the museum.” Vincent stated.
“Shit!” Lillian said with feeling. Alucard smiled even more but decided it was high time he left.
“Well enjoy the rest of your afternoon master.” Alucard said and started walking away. She caught up with him and caught hold of his arm.
“No way buddy boy, you're coming with me, and I'm driving with you as my passenger.” She said dragging him to the door smiling. They nearly out of the door when Vincent yelled,
“But aren't you going to change lady Lillian?” Lillian was wearing her usually baggy cargo pants with tank top and jacket but they were slightly torn and ripped in places. She looked like a struffed up teenagers and not a lady of a noble house and head of one the most secretive and powerful organisations in England. Her response,
“I don't care.”
It was raining heavily outside when she reached the museum and Lillian was totally drenched when she reached the museum at 3:20pm. She left Alucard and went running through the museum, Alucard mentioned something about feeling sick from the drive. She wasn't that bad was she? Nar it was just the vampire. Lillian was running through the museum fully dry now from the air driers in the front of the museum and spotted a small group of three people, who must be from Iscariot. There was a normal dressed man, what looked like another man in priest clothes and a nun. She ran up to them and said panting, arms on her knees,
“Sorry, pant pant I'm pant pant late. The traffic, pant pant was terrible.” The man looked down at her and asked,
“And you are?” Lillian looked up confuse at him.
“Lady Lillian Hellsing.” She replied in that duh attitude. The man looked down at her …attire and scoffed down at her,
“You've got to be joking.” Lillian getting pissed off said,
“I am the head and leader of the Hellsing organisation, lady Lillian Integra Elizabeth Hellsing!” Lillian stated stamping her foot down. The man raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced. Lillian said exasperated
“If I'm not who I say I am then why would I have the powerful vampire Alucard at my command? Hmm.” Lillian said as a hint for Alucard to come out. She stood there waiting while the Iscariot members looked around for any sight of him. Alucard did not appear. Lillian yelled up into the roof stomping her foot down,
“Alucard get your slack arsed butt out here now, you're making me look bad and I do not need your games right now!” still nothing. Lillian waited some more, with all three of the Iscariot members now raising their eyebrows.
“ALUCARD!” Lillian now yelled. Just then Alucard came around the corner slowly holding his gut/ stomach, swaying slightly.
“I'm coming master, I'm not deaf you know.” Lillian's voice was still ringing in his ears. The Iscariot members stood dumbstruck, this was the almighty Hellsing's pet vampire Alucard?
“What's your problem Alucard?” Lillian said annoyed.
“I told you master, I'm feeling sick after that car drive. You are a mad woman driver and here I call myself a threat to the human race.” Alucard said making a joke. Lillian was irritated, this meeting was not going well.
“Have a little spine man.” Lillian replied.
“This is the almighty Alucard of the Hellsing Organisation?” the priest said. Lillian jumped back a bit. He, she was a woman! What was a woman doing wearing priest robes? Alucard's attention now on the female priest walked up to her.
“You look familiar, have I tormented you before?” he asked
“You should hope not vampire.” The priest spoke. Lillian looked more closely at the woman priest. She had blonde hair tied back tightly in a braid which made her look like she had short hair, her eyes were green and she had an Irish accent. The man cleared his throat,
“Very well you are lady Hellsing, my apologies, I am Bishop Julienne Theodore of the Iscariot Special section XII. This is Sister Catherine and Paladin Alexia Anderson.” (A/N thanks to Mslcat for the idea ^_^) Alucard stood there thinking to himself, mumbling out loud,
“Anderson, Anderson, where have I heard that name before.” The paladin stepped forward,
“Paladin Alexander Anderson, my father, you murdered him, you bastard.” She said quivering with rage.
“Ah yes the Iscariot whipping boy, the Judas priest. He was fun. So the dog had a child, interesting. Tell me girl do you have the same regenerative powers as your father?” Alucard now sounding excited and his old self again.
“That and more vampire. I shall achieve that which my father failed to do so and send you back where you came from, straight back to hell!” She yelled drawing her father's swords, now aiming them at Alucard. Alucard in response drew his guns and the roomed darkened. Lillian realizing the situation and not wanting a war with the Iscariot yelled at Julienne,
“Bishop Theodore, control your servant, we are in a public place for God's sake!” The Bishop was fuming, how dare she order him.
“Control your own, Hellsing!”
“Your servant started this fight by drawing swords first. It is your discrepancy, now tell your servant to back off now. If you want to start a fight, fine but I swear by God I will finish it, and you will suffer the consequences here today!” Lillian stood there proud, strong and vigilant, her eyes shinning bright blue in front of Bishop Theodore and he saw something in her.
“Paladin Alexia Anderson, I order you to stand down now.” Alexia, who was in the middle of trying to stab the vampire, who moved fast, faster than she for now heard the order and knew she had to obey, for now. She stopped and drew back.
“You're safe for now vampire, but the next time we meet it shall be your last.” And she disappeared in a wash of bible papers. Alucard was now laughing madly, he had a new toy to play with. Lillian looked over to the nun, who was shivering in fear. She shook her head and said,
“Alucard return to me.” Alucard looked over and returned to Lillian's left side and not behind her. Julienne was shocked at this, whom could one such as her allow this? He was about to speak when Lillian cut him off.
“Bishop Theodore, we will leave the treaty as it is for now. You will stick to your territory and I will to mine. Now I don't want to see you or any of your people in England again for now and that includes Paladin Anderson. Any who enter England without permission will be dealt with. Be glad I don't make you apologize for your discrepancy and get out of my country.” Lillian said now tired. Julienne nodded his head, now was not the time.
“Very well Lady Hellsing, now is not the time, or place but do not think this is over, Iscariot will be back and we will not let one such as you or your abomination for a servant keep us from our mission. This year marks her millennium.” And with that he stormed off, the nun rushing off behind him. When he left Lillian looked over at Alucard,
“Are they always like this, or am I just lucky?” He laughed and replied,
“No they're always like this, for nearly three thousand years they think they rule over everything, organisations like them never change.” Lillian took his word for it and moved on.
“Do you know what he meant by, `This year marks her millennium'?” Lillian asked him.
“No, though it sounds familiar for some reason.” Alucard replied.
“Did the paladin hurt you?” she asked moving on again. Alucard looked down at Lillian touching his heart,
“Concern for me, my master? I'm touched.”
“Heh, whatever Alucard. I'm making sure she could not hurt you. I don't need my `pet abomination' dying on me now do I?” she replied, issuing sarcasm at the `pet abomination' part. Alucard laughed again.
“No master she can not kill me, only a true man could hope to kill me.”
“Still Alucard she concerns me. Her heart is filled with hatred and vengeance for you. It can be a powerful tool in which one could derive strength and determination from. Just be wary ok.”
“Now I am touched master.” Alucard said seriously knowing she was serious about what she was saying.
“Yeah well lets go home hey.” Lillian said walking forward now.
“If you're driving, I'm flying.” Alucard said running forward.
“Hey, what's wrong with my driving!?” She yelled chasing after him.
“What isn't.” He replied laughing and disappeared.