Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Yume ❯ The Battles of the Past ( Chapter 4 )

AN:

*As we enter the room, we see the author with her forehead on the table, her arms drooped at her sides *

Calumon: *waddles over and pokes Rose * You forgot about the fic, didn't you?

Rose: *nods, whining miserably * I didn't mean to…. And I even said I would get this chapter up faster…

Calumon: There, there. *pats her on the shoulder *

Rose: I didn't even know people were still reading it…. *sits up suddenly and strikes a determined pose, fists clenched. * But! I now know that people actually read my crap! *strikes another pose * And so! I shall try harder.

*becomes serious again * Really though, I'm very sorry. I got majorly sidetracked. But I promise, it won't happen again… until I get writer's block… which seems to be coming around the corner…

Blah blah blah, I don't own it, blah blah blah, don't sue me.

Oh, and for those of you who are confused by the above, Calumon is my little alter ego who appears from time-to-time.

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Chapter 4: The Battles of the Past

After finishing the shidou-go game, the customer thanked Akira and left. With nothing left to do, Akira returned to his table in the back, where he had been studying kifus.

Hikaru had not come to the salon that day, nor had he all week. It was not that strange, really-Hikaru, after all, had his own life, and other friends. He couldn't come by every day.

But it was becoming obvious that this went beyond the reason of Hikaru being busy. At the institute, if Hikaru saw the other boy he would quickly turn and go in the other direction. Akira would call out to him, but he wouldn't respond.

It was becoming more and more obvious that Hikaru was avoiding him.

With a sigh, Akira pushed away the Shusaku kifus-the ones that looked amazingly like Hikaru's first fames-and stood up. His thoughts were wandering too much, and he couldn't concentrate. He had to find out what was wrong with Hikaru, even if he had to force him to talk.

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Hikaru's game had been long that day, and so by the time he was finished almost everyone else had gone. Tired, Hikaru decided to head home. Looking at his fee sleepily as he went, he didn't pay much attention to where he was going until he bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sor-" His face blanched when he saw who he'd walked into. "T-touya!"

"There you are, Shindou," Akira said. "I've been looking for you."

Hikaru mentally swore. He'd been avoiding Akira all week, ever since that last dream, trying to figure out what it all meant, and what he should do. Now, with the other boy standing in front of him and with no way to get out of it, Hikaru felt trapped.

"Last time we spoke, you said you were not angry with me," Akira suddenly said, pulling Hikaru from his train of thought.

"Huh? Oh!" he exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "Um, yeah."

Keeping his gaze cool and calm, Akira asked, "So why have you been avoiding me, Shindo?"

Hikaru winced. "Well, i-it's just, I've need to think about things, so I need to be alone-"

"I've seen you with your friends!" Akira said loudly, coming close to shouting. "Don't tell me that you need to be alone!" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Does this have anything to do with Sai?"

"W-what?" Hikaru stumbled over his words; he couldn't get anything out. ~How did he figure that out?!~

"Well? You promised you would tell me someday, right?"

Hikaru shook his head. "I-I'm sorry," he managed to force out. "I can't! He pushed passed Akira and ran down the street.

"Shindou! Wait!" Akira called, but Hikaru wouldn't listen. He continued going until he was out of sight. Akira had the urge to chase after the other boy, but decided against it. Maybe he had pushed him too far; he wasn't sure. He did know one thing, and this was what held him back for the time-even if Hikaru was running from him, he wouldn't be able to get away.

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Hikaru ran inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Hikaru, is that you?" he heard his mother call from the kitchen.

"Yes!" he yelled back.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes if you want any."

"No, thanks. I'm just gonna go to bed."

When he got to his room he lay immediately on his bed, not bothering to take off his clothes or even get under the covers, dropping his arm over his face.

Why couldn't he talk to Akira? He had been right, he had made that promise. And maybe it would help him decipher that one confusing clue Sai had given him. So why couldn't he talk to him?

~Because I'm afraid.~

The realization suddenly hit Hikaru, and he knew it was true. But why? Why was he afraid? Did he think Akira wouldn't believe him? Or was he just afraid to share the memory of Sai with someone? Was he afraid it would make them…closer?

~Wait, why the Hell would I be afraid of that? We're friends already, so why should it matter? It's not like I think of Touya like…~

Hikaru groaned and rolled over, pushing the thought away. That was crazy, he shouldn't be letting himself think like that, it might land him in an awkward situation.

As he drifted to sleep he was still unclear as far as what to do. He was so confused…

Hikaru saw a computer screen in front of him. He was confused, until he realized he had drifted into another dream. There was an Internet go game on the screen, evidently finished. Somehow it looked familiar…

"If you had gone here instead, you would've lost."

That voice sounded familiar to Hikaru. He turned, and wasn't at all surprised to see himself, a couple years younger, pointing at a spot on the screen. Sai's shimmering ghost floated behind him, looking at the spot.

"Yes…you're right."

The old Hikaru sat with a pleased look on his face, proud that he had found something Sai hadn't noticed. He had heard the words, but hadn't looked at Sai, or listened to the tone of his voice.

He hadn't seen how sad he was.

~Why does he look so…dejected? He just beat Touya Meijin, so why is he so sad?~

The image faced, and he was in his grandfather's attic, looking at himself and Sai checking to make sure the go-ban hadn't been stolen. Everything was fine, though. It had been there.

With the bloodstains only Sai and Hikaru could see fading away.

Again he saw Sai as he hadn't before, the deeply sad look upon his face, and also the expression of worry.

As the younger Hikaru went down the ladder to play go with his grandfather, he again heard Sai say "Hikaru! Play a game with me now!"

But, indifferent and annoyed, Hikaru simply ignored him. "Leave me alone, I can play go with you anytime."

Play with you any time….

~No, what was I…~

Any time….

"Sai!"

Hikaru sat bolt upright in bed. It took a moment to reorient himself, and when he remembered he began to cry.

~Oh, Sai…You really did know all that time. I was such an idiot, why didn't I listen to you?! I thought you were just whining, that you would always be there to play another game. But you weren't, you were going to disappear, to leave me, and there was nothing that could stop it…and you knew. Since we saw the faded stains on the go-ban-or was it before then? Was it…could it have been at that game with the Meijin? Damnit…I can't figure this out on my own!~

~Touya.~

Hikaru heard this thought like it was coming from outside of him, as though someone were in the room speaking to him.

~Maybe I'll tell you someday.~

Throwing himself backwards he landed against his pillow with a thud. As he rolled over and pulled the covers on himself he muttered, "I guess it's someday by now."

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AN: I actually really like this chapter ^^ It's a pity I don't have the scans, though, so I could check to make sure I got quotes and situations down right. *curses herself for using the manga viewer instead of downloading* Ah well… alert me if it's wrong.

And don't forget to review, or I might forget again! It was the last two reviews I got that reminded me I had to do this!