InuYasha Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Old Renew Love ❯ Realizatons of the heart ( Chapter 14 )

 

Old renew love

By XtopangelX

 

A/N: Took a longtime because normally I don't post a chapter until it has at least seven pages at least with my other stories. But I don't think I can make it this time!

 

Chapter 13: Realizations of the heart

 

Sessh's P.O.V.

 

Why does she seem to be surprised when I said I only wanted to talk? I speak with people without threatening them… Once in awhile. But I did not call her here to argue.

 

I'm sure that my comment earlier had stunned her; I could hear my friend's chuckles all the way down the hall after she left him. Now, I don't think she took it the good way. I better explain myself to him.

 

“Well Kagome, I think we need to talk about the short comment I made earlier, I meant-“

“You were merely going with the flow of conversation right? Now, if you don't mind, I have small ones to tend to.”

“Now, that was not I meant to say. And there are servants that can tend to the children.”

“You don't understand do you?”

“I don't comprehend. What is there to understand?”

“This! I don't want to be mated off to royalty! At least, not yet! All the time I was in the future, I didn't have maids tending to me at each snap of my fingers. I am not use to this life, and I won't ever be!”

 

She had to lie about that, she can't exactly tell him the true reasons. But she's not lying right, it is true after all. But all satisfaction left her when he answered!

 

“Now, now, there's nothing to scream about. You'll get used to it soon.”

“Enough! I don't want to hear anything about this engagement anymore. Look, I'm not ready. Now, I'll be leaving the room, and we'll forget about this okay?” But she couldn't finish the sentence because of a pair of warm lips came to crash on her own. A kiss that she couldn't help but melt in!

 

`She's giving in!' Sesshoumaru thought happily when she wrapped her arms around his neck.

`What the heck am I doing?!!! Damn but he feels so good!!!'

 

She suddenly pushed him away and just left the room running.

 

`What?' “Kagome!” Sesshoumaru yelled, but in vain, she has already escaped.

`Why did she left?'

 

Now back to Kagome, while she was running, this time careful not to bump into nobody, not wanting a repeat of what happened with her cousin, thinking about her kiss with the Lord of the West.

 

`Why did I do that??? I can't kiss him, I mean; I don't even want to be with him. Damn it, now I don't even know what to think. So confusing, I hate him!!!... Well he is a good kisser… Bad Kagome, Bad Kagome!!!'

 

The young she-demon was so confused. She immediately ran to room and threw herself on her bed. She started to cry, her emotions finally gaining on her. She couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't be what people were expecting of her. She couldn't be the strong miko, the properly behaving and obedient princess and even less the proper mate. She let her tears flow as a river would, never noticing that somebody knocked on her door or that they already opened and closed the door. Only when she felt her mattress giving under pressure that she knew somebody was beside her. Not used to her senses, she pray that it wasn't Sesshomaru.

 

The Kami was kind to her because it turned out to be Anna that was beside her at the moment.

 

“What's happening sister? I haven't seen you in a state like this since… well since ever… At least, when I was present” Anna stated while drawing Kagome in a tight hug

“I... I... I can't!”

“Can't what? Get married?” she asked even if she already knew her answer

“Yes! I… This engagement just made a lot of things happened, Kouga betraying us, this stupid ball-”

“No that was for your return `Gome”

“Yeah well… Anyways, that made me so confuse and... Hey! You didn't deny that Kouga's betrayal was my fault!”

“Hmmm… Kagome? You shouldn't need me to tell you that! I ask you, if you were NOT engaged, would you have accepted him?”

 

The younger sister did not even to think about it and shook her head.

 

“Exactly! So if you knew yourself, and you still blame yourself, then nothing I say can change your mind can it?”

“Yea…”

“Now, I know that's not the only thing deranging you… Tell me!”

“Well I… Um… Sesshomaru and me kissed?”

“What!!!! Come on now, details!!!”

“Anna! That's supposed to be a problem?!”

“Whatever! You kissed, don't you know how many females, demon or not, been trying to get that out of him?” She said, detaching herself from her sister. Ready for juicy information!

“Well, they can have him! I ain't ready! I don't want him… I want to mate for love and I don't love him…”

“Who's speaking? Your heart or your mind? Think about that, I will be taking my leave, my mate is expecting me.” She said, imposing more strength on Mate.

 

“Who's speaking, my heart or my mind?? Do I really love him?” Kagome pondered over the subject for quite a while before falling asleep. It was night after all.

 

The next day, Kagome slowly walked down the hall, reaching the diner hall's door. She was about to push it open, her hands millimeters away from it, she hesitated. Should she go in and face both her sister and Sesshomaru or does she go back to her room and have her breakfast sent to her room.

 

“Kagome?” A voice said behind her

 

She turned around, finding Tomoyo behind her. The older female seemed concern, seeing her hesitation.

 

“You're alright? You look pale” She asked “Do you want the maid to send the meal to your room?”

“I- I would appreciate it thank you…” With that, she turned around and left Tomoyo behind.

 

The said she-demon entered the diner hall and turned toward a maid that was passing her, said “Send the breakfast to Lady Kagome's room, she isn't feeling well.”

 

“Kagome isn't feeling well?” Asked Anna as she slowly stood up of her cushion by Yue on the small table on the front of the room to walk toward the doors where Tomoyo was situated

“She looked pale when I found her in front of the doors, so I asked her to go back to her room.”

 

In the hallway, a lone figure walked towards her chamber with her usually high head down.

 

`Am I weak enough to have to run from my problems now?' She thought her blue eyes not quite as brilliant as before.

“Sister” A voice calmly said behind her and without turning around, she recognized it, who else would call her sister?

“What it is?”

“I know you aren't sick, so what's happening?” She asked “You from all people wouldn't simply walk away from your problems now would you?”

 

There it is again, to Kagome, people expect too much from her. She continued her track to her room only turning around once to indicate Anna to follow her. Arrived to her room, she waited until Anna got in her room before closing the door and sitting on an expensive looking sofa.

 

“What is wrong with you Kagome, you seem so depressed.” Anna asked

“You want to know what's wrong. You asked me yesterday one question that I can't answer! I do not know if it was my heart or my head speaking! And I don't know if I love Sesshomaru or not! And most of all, everybody is expecting something from me that I don't feel like I can accomplish! That's what's wrong with me!”

 

After her outburst, she collapsed mentally and broke down in tears. “I know I have to be strong and everything. I'm the current heir to these lands if anything were to happen to you and you still didn't have children! But I haven't been raised for or with so many responsibilities! I feel like I don't have the control of my life”

 

“You really think so? Never you had to make choices?” Anna asked her “Important choices”

“No”

“Think back! Remember that time mother had that car crash. Who was by her side, you and back then, you had to choose between school and the hospital or both didn't you? I was there at that time. You could perfectly work your way through that period, jiggling with both responsibilities. Did I mention you were already going through the well at that time? And that was when you were still fifteen! You can work this out! You can control your life if you choose to do it.”

“I-”

“No listen to me! Nobody is forcing you to mate Sesshoumaru, you chose to yourself back then, but we won't hold this against you! You don't have to be guilty because you felt this was your entire fault. You said you made Koga leave back then. You would have refused anyway, so unless I'm really influencing your decision that much and you would have left with him anyway then you're free to go find him at this very moment! I don't have anything to say anymore, think about what I just said and think about what you said. Do you still think we control you Kagome? Just don't make the wrong choice.” She said, panting after ward before leaving the room to her own chambers. Not looking back once.

 

`Do I really…' Kagome controlled her tears and was stupefied, sure she saw her sister angry and serious, but what she just said, it was… She never thought that she really had so many responsibilities back then, Anna was right… She would have refused Koga either way, just- She didn't know what to think anymore. She was still confused but she knew one thing now, nobody is controlling her. She didn't have to mate Sesshomaru but somehow this just wasn't convincing, somehow her heart told her that she wouldn't be truly happy. That was when she came to another realization.

 

During her time of thinking, she never noticed that Sesshomaru entered the room, not even when she voiced her realization in a soft breath “I do love Sesshoumaru after all”

 

“Then I'm glad” Her head shot up so fast she got a slight headache, pinching between her eyes, she looked at her mate to be in shock, also unknown to her, he heard the whole conversation, and on her way out, Anna was looking at him to make things right with Kagome.

 

“Sesshoumaru” She whispered “I-”

“Don't say anything else. I won't force you to mate until you're ready” and with that, he brought his head toward hers and left a chaste kiss before he leaves as well “Koi”

 

`What is happening here?' before leaving her room to eat with the others, after all

 

Outside, both Anna and Sesshomaru exchanged small smiles before going on their way, hoping they were able to convince Kagome that she shouldn't be guilty, at all!

 

`Kagome, you still can choose your own path, but choose wisely, we can't always back you up' thought both the Lord and Lady

 

In the Diner Hall, after both Anna and Sesshoumaru left, the rest of them understood what happened after some thinking. Since Naraku arrived in these lands, trouble has arisen, and it was affecting everything. From love to simple friendship-

 

“Guys… Do you think Kagome's going to be alright?” Asked Meillin

“I don't know… Yesterday she came to me for help, but she saw Inuyasha and left” Said Chrissie

 

To lighten the mood and feeling Kagome approaching, not wanting her feel like she was the cause of this mood, Eriol said “What were you and Inuyasha doing, alone?”

“Who said we were alone!?” She retorted, red as the others laughed

 

Inuyasha let a small smile creep up to his lips when she blushed `She truly is beautiful'

 

At the same moment, Kagome entered through the heavy hand carved doors of the dining hall, and would have usually laughed of both Inuyasha's dreamy face and Chrissie's blushing one if she wasn't so confused.

 

Before Kagome reached her room before

 

Sango, who hadn't slept more than three hours since Miroku fell unconscious, was still sitting by the monk, slightly weeping, not knowing if her love was going to make it through or not, and regretted to never have told him of her feelings. And she voiced her emotions.

 

“I'm sorry Miroku, for all those time I slapped you or beat you up, I'm really sorry. I regret so much that I never got to tell you that I loved you. Please Miroku, don't die on me, I need you; you were there for me, even if in the end I just hit you. Miroku, I- I love you Miroku” as she said her last word, her tears fell on his face as she lean toward him to kiss his lips and left the room to hers to have a change of clothes when she heard a whimper behind her. She turned around and she saw Miroku struggling to open his eyes. With the door already opened, she grabbed the nearest servant and told them to tell everybody Miroku was awake, in her mirth!

 

The loyal servant ran to the dining hall, before knocking, and when giving permission, she announced the good news, and had some of them running toward the room. Mostly, Kagome, Shippo and Inuyasha. The larger group walked, little bit fast, but still walked, when Sesshoumaru and Anna intercepted them asking what was happening. After the news, they directed themselves there too.

 

When they arrived in the room, they saw Sango crying of joy besides a sitting Miroku, his eyes a little bit fuzzy.

 

“Did you mean that Sango?” was his first words