InuYasha Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Embracing the Kitsune ❯ Salvaging Self ( Chapter 31 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

IVX: The Naruto Characters and world were created by Masashi Kishimoto and the Inuyasha characters and world were created by Rumiko Takahashi, but the new original characters are mine. ;;;sticks out tongue;;; IVX... ^_~

~ Ch. 31 - Salvaging Self ~

Gold glared into blue and blue into gold for the briefest of moments before turning away again. Naruto and Inuyasha sat directly across the hall from one another on the hall way benches of a quiet hospital wing. Around either of them sat an array of balloons, flowers, cards, and small wrapped gifts. It had been hours since they arrived back in the village and though they were both exhausted, neither would give up his vigilant post outside of Kagome’s new, more secluded room.

Neither of them had talked to her since they were shooed of by the Hokage, nor had they left to sleep or eat. Many well wishers had stopped by to try and welcome back the ghost that was Kagome, thanks to Kiba’s loud mouth, but she had denied them all. That in its self was odd for Kagome. She was always welcoming to her friends and never liked to be secluded as she was doing now. Regardless of her usual persona, here the boys sat, surrounded by the gifts intended for her and left to wonder just what had happened to turn her so drastically.

There was an unspoken battle going on between the boys now. No clear line drawn and no physical attacks. Not a single word was uttered in the acknowledge of it, but they could feel it in the air. The only deciding judge lay on the other side of the door at the end of the hall and all they could do was wait for the fateful final decision. The uneasy understanding Inuyasha and Naruto had in the wake of Kagome’s death had slowly dissipated as the minutes and hours ticked by. Condemned to their own silent brooding, both had entirely to much time to think over the “what if’s” and that was never a good thing. Any uncertainty of whether they would be the one to spend the rest of their lives with Kagome reared its ugly head and slowly soured their disposition towards one another.

The door to Kagome’s room opened causing a small creaking noise. Golden brows rose in anticipation and triangular ears attempted to swivel beneath a black bandana in the direction of the sound. As the pink haired kunoichi stepped into the hall, a sour look graced both men’s faces and they turned away in defeat once again. Each picking their own particularly interesting section of wall to gaze at again.

Sakura smiled uneasily at their antics and walked past them quickly. They were none to happy with her right now and she couldn’t blame them. Of all their friends, she had been the only one Kagome had allowed in and it was only under orders of the Hokage that she did so. When she did stop in to check on her, Kagome had never been sleeping. She merely stared at the ceiling, unseeingly, as if she were somewhere a million miles off. That’s why Sakura had been so surprised this last time when the soft lilt of Kagome’s voice broke the silence. It had been a request, barely above a whisper, but deafeningly loud in the quiet room filled with only the hum of the florescent lights to cut the silence. The request was even more shocking than the sound of the voice its self however.
As she passed the ANBU standing guard around the corner and out of sight of the boys, she began to contemplate what Kagome had requested of her. Sakura was sure Kagome would have asked for one of the diligent, self-appointed guards who sat surrounded by the presents of her friends. If not that, then in the very least, something to help her sleep, but what she had asked was just so out of the range she was expecting. The person she asked for was not exactly one that jumped to mind when a depressed person needed comforting or counseling, but who was she to judge really. Her hanyou friend had spent a great deal of time alone with the man and anyone who spent that much quality time with Kagome was bound to warm up to her eventually, regardless of the thick layer of ice that surrounded them.

That thought had Sakura frowning a bit. The Kagome that lay on the hospital bed back in that room was not the Kagome that had left. Sakura was overjoyed to have her back alive, but what price had been paid for the safety she bought Gaara and Naruto? ‘I only hope that what ever she needs from him will help her find the path back to her old self.’ She thought as she exited the hospital and made her way to Konoha’s visiting dignitary quarters.

* A short while later

Soft footsteps echoed down the quiet hall and caught the attention of both males. Again they eagerly awaited a distraction from the quiet and bland hall of the hospital. Both had expected to only see the pink hair of their female medic nin, but as the richer, fire colored locks accompanied the unexpected visitor, the two threw knowing looks at one another. They smirked slightly and Inuyasha scoffed. “Heh, come to try and talk her out of there?” He asked with a sarcastic tone.

“Good luck Gaara, she hasn’t let anyone in other than the Grandma and her little student.” Naruto said in a dejected tone. “And I do mean anyone.” He added.

The Kazekage halted for a moment to look between the two before resuming his stride without a word to either of them. As he approached the door he slowed to a stop once again and raised a loose fist to the door. His knock was followed by the sound of his unique voice. “May I come in.”

The two watching in slightly sadistic amusement at his eminent shoot down, could have fallen off their seats at the answer. “Yes.” Came the soft voice from the other side of the door. Gaara merely opened the door and walked in with out a look back at Naruto or Inuyasha, closing it behind him.

Slack jawed, the boys looked at one another, looked to the door, and then back again. Slowly their looks of astonishment turned into looks of barely restrained anger. ‘What the Hell!’ was the duel though process of the men as they stood with clenched fists.

“Do you believe that shit?” Growled Inuyasha in a low whisper.

“I feel the same. It’s just not right.” Replied Naruto in an equally quiet hiss.

“That’s it! I’m going in their.” Inuyasha snarled.

“I’m with you!” Said Naruto loudly.

Maybe it was the fact that it had been another male that had entered the room before either of them or just the fact that anyone else was given the privilege before them, but what ever the case they were unhappy to say the least. Momentarily forgetting their own mini feud for the moment, they were now united... united against Gaara and united in the act of forcing Kagome to talk to them. As they approached the door, their sensitive ears could pick up on hurried whispers on the other side of the door. As Naruto reached out and open the door, they caught the tail end of sand swirls.

“Sonova...!” Growled Naruto.

“What the hell!” Inuyasha said as he dashed in the room to look for the two that should be there.

“Sakura!” Roared Naruto as he ran down the hallway with heavy foot falls.

Gaara and Kagome appeared outside of the hospital where Gaara set his gourd down to take off his maroon overcoat and cast it around her shoulders. It wouldn’t do for her to get sick because she needed to get away from her male companions for a bit. She had only been attired in her hospital garb when she begged him to spirit her away before the two busted the door down. After he was satisfied she was sufficiently covered, he replaced his gourd in its proper position and picked her up bridal style. ‘She is weak and hospital socks are not good enough to keep the cold wetness of the ground at bay.’ He rationalized to himself. He wasn’t one much for contact, but he had carried injured comrades before so it wasn’t for the contact reason he needed to rationalize. He was worried over her rejection at his touch. If she hadn’t even seen anyone else besides the necessary medic Haruno, how would she react to being carried?

A the lack of protest his worries were abated, but he needed to move them again. It was only a matter of moments before the loud blond found them. “Where would you like me to take you Kagome?” He asked softly.

“Anywhere... anywhere away from prying ears.” She said as she turned her face away from him.

This he could handle. He had been afraid she would want to stay outside in this cold temperature and he would have refused. Not something he wanted to do to her, but she needed to recover properly. The first place that came to mind was his own room at the dignitary quarters, but that was the first place Naruto would look, most likely. So the question was, who could he trust to help in this situation. Then a though came to mind. ‘He is always willing to help a friend in need.’ Yes the green clad, eternally energetic Rock Lee was always one to count on. It helped that Lee was one of his special people. His few friends. Just as Gaara glanced the blond spikes of his other friend turning the corner, he activated his transportation jutsu and narrowly missed him again.

This time when they reappeared, they stood in front of a small apartment building. Kagome looked up at the building and then back to Gaara in question. “Lee.” He stated, but in a way also asked. If she objected he would find another, indoor, location. When she nodded her head in acceptance he made his way into the main hall and out of the cold. The sun was close to setting now and the temperature was steadily dropping.

He carrier her up to the second floor before he set her down. She may begin to get upset if he carried her unnecessarily. As he approached the door he glanced out of the corner of his eye at Kagome. Her head was sightly bowed and her gaze far off. Even her slumped shoulders gave away her depressive mood. Though this could be explained away with the pain of recovery form grievous injuries, he knew better. That snake had her in his grasp for far to long. The tattoos he knew lay beneath the bandages were proof enough that she was not left to her own devices. She had most likely been tortured or in the very least experimented on, which was in some ways worse than torture alone. When he stopped at the door he gave her one more glance. ‘Why had she chosen him, of all people, to confide in?’

Turning his attention back to the door and raising his hand, he knocked softly. There was the muffled sound of weights dropping unceremoniously to the floor and hurried foot steps. The door opened widely to show a pleasantly welcoming face.

“Hello, sorry about....” What ever he was about to apologize for died on his lips and his bushy brows rose high upon his forehead, nearly disappearing under his bowl cut. “Gaara?” He looked down at the other and his brows seemed to raise even higher, if that were possible. “Kagome?!” He said in shock. These were obviously the furthest people from his mind that he expected to see when opening the door. He stood there for a moment longer before shaking his head and making an inviting gesture for them to come in.

The duo accepted and walked silently into his little abode. Once inside, Lee turned to the two of them with his usual energy and addressed Kagome first. “I heard you were to ill to see anyone, but I left flowers for you. Are you sure it is ok for you to be out? How are you feeling?” He suddenly hugged her, but not to tightly incase of her injuries. “It is so very wonderful to see you again.” This time he spoke with tears in his eyes and when he pulled back he made a face that obviously indicated he was fighting back a waterfall by biting his lip. “We were all devastate when we thought that you...”

Kagome smiled a soft smile and nodded in understanding. “I’m so sorry to have worried you Lee. You and everyone else.” Her tone was still soft, but now it had a note of sincere apology to it, where as before it was lacking of most emotion. She stepped up to him and took his hands in hers. “I hope you can forgive me. You understand that I had to protect my special people, don’t you Lee?” She asked hopefully as she looked pleadingly into his eyes.

Now the damn broke and rivers of tears streamed down his cheek. He picked her up in a slightly tighter hug and lifted her off the ground. “Oh Kagome!” He cried. “Of course I understand your youthful desire to protect your special people. Never apologies again! That beautifully selfless act was inspiring and the mark of a true friend and Konoha kunoichi!” He finally set her down and the tears dried as he looked at her sheepishly. It seemed he just now remembered her injuries again.

Her smile this time was slightly less sad and he leaned in to give him a quick, soft hug. “Thank you Lee. You are a true friend.” When she leaned out of the hug she looked over to Gaara for help with her request. He knew she wanted privacy to talk to him and didn’t think she could ask for it after that heart felt display from her friend. Gaara seemed to pick up on the meaning of her glance and stepped forward to draw Lees attention.

Lee looked to Gaara now. “And it is also a joy to have my friend and rival here today as well! How are you Gaara?” He asked happily.

“I am fine, but I require a favor of you.” he stated. It was only a matter of time before someone thought to look here and he and Lee had already caught up upon his last arrival. No need for idle chat.

Lee smiled and nodded encouragingly. “Anything.”

“We need to borrow your apartment for short time. Kagome and I need to speak... in private.”

Lee blinked and looked between the two. “Is that all? Of course, you have free reign of my home. Please excuse my weights in the middle of the floor. I had been training when my two wonderful friends arrived.” He bounced his way towards the door. “I will go find a place to eat and give you the time you need.” He turned back to look at them. “And then maybe in the near future we may have a properly joyful reunion and talk on pleasant things.”

When he opened the door to leave, Kagome caught him with her words. “Lee,” He paused and he stuck his head back in the door. “Please don’t let anyone know we’re her.” He gave her a brilliant smile accompanied by a wink and thumbs up before shutting the door and leaving them to the matter at hand.

A silence filled the room as the click of the door resonated around them. Gaara looked upon Kagome’s back, waiting for her to speak. She had yet to turn around from the direction Lee had left and as the moments passed by, Gaara decided he may have to star this conversation. “Kagome...” He started calmly. “Why did you choose to speak with me? You had two very willing listeners waiting at your sick bed. Why call away for me?”

The sound of her soft humorless laugh sounded in his ears and he watched her head shake side to side. When she turned back to him, her sad smile was firmly in place. “They are one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you.”

He rose a brow at that. ‘She is in turmoil at the return of her past love and the new love she found in Naruto. This is a given, but why on earth would she want to seek guidance from me?’ Ok, maybe she didn’t know his past as well as the others did, but in the time they spent together, did he ever once give her a reason to think he could help in matters of the heart? No.
Kagome cast her eyes down. “Don’t look at me like that. I know, I know, but that’s not the main reason I needed to talk to you.” She raised her gaze again and hit him half heartedly on the shoulder. “Besides,” She walked to the sofa and sat. “Even if it was, as my friend your obligated to at least listen.” She teased slightly.

Gaara watched her closely before relaxing and deciding to join her. She may not be back to the firey girl he first met, but he could see the pieces of her true self shining through and it comforted him a bit. He unclasped the straps holding the gourd in place and leaned it against the couch. He spoke after he sat and folded his arms. “Then why did you need me?”

Another pause of silence fell upon them, but she spoke after a moment. “I... I think I’m going crazy.” She admitted softly, but not wanting to offend, she hurriedly added. “Not that I think your crazy or anything, but you have to deal with something that has to do with what’s bothering me.”

Now he was truly confused. What had they in common that would drive her to insanity? “You are going to tell me your dilemma, are you not?”

She smiled nervously. “Uh heh, yeah. I was getting to that.” As much as she wanted his help she was uncomfortable talking about the subject. Though it was not her fault for the images and thoughts, she felt guilty for having them in her head in the first place. Speaking of them to another, outside of that mad house, made her feel... dirty somehow. “Well, you see... When he had me.” She paused to collect her thoughts again and she felt Gaara’s gaze intensify.

‘So it is her torture she want’s to speak.’ He thought to himself and suddenly felt even more unqualified for the job. He was not the best to lend comforting words. He was rather blunt and had rarely had the opportunity to receive or give such affections.

“He, he did some things to me that caused... side effects.” Her hand unconsciously went to her thigh and her eyes gained their far away gaze once more. “When he tried to use... my power.”

‘The powerful object the dog spoke of.’ He thought to himself, but allowed her to continue.

“His mind sort of connected with mine. I don’t think he knew though because he never said anything about it.” Now he fidgeted with the bandage covering one of her wrists and the cursed jutsu markings beneath.

‘Such a loving person like her, connecting with such an evil person in that way, would be upsetting.’ He thought to himself.

“But that’s not all...” She turned her face slightly away as though ashamed.

‘What has she to be ashamed of? What did that monster do to her?’ he thought as a stirring of anger bubbled in the pit of his chest, though he showed nothing on the outside.

“The things I saw... the feelings I felt through him. They stayed.” She finally met his teal orbs with pools of aqua and they were shining with tears. “I have memories flash before my eyes...” She looked down accusingly at the palms of her hands. “Memories of committing horrible horrible things with my own two hands.” She said shaking her head as a stray tear fell down her cheek. “I remember feeling the sadistic pleasure in it and...” She swallowed hard to keep from gagging. “...well, it’s just overwhelming me. It’s as if I am that sick son of a bitch.” She hugged herself tightly and fought back the tears. “I feel like I’m losing myself.”


Now understanding dawned on Gaara. ‘Shukkaku...’ She had wanted his help because he to carried a sick, sadistic creature in his mind. There was even a time when he had become an extension of the monster and committed horrible acts of his own in his instability. Though their cases were different they were also the most similar she would find. “I see.” He stated, not really sure where to start.

She looked back up at him pleadingly. “How do you, you know, deal with it?” She asked carefully. “You’ve had to deal with it all your life.” She added, sad for him as she understood the gravity of it now.

He looked away from her eyes. “To be perfectly honest, I went crazy for quite a while when I was younger.” He inwardly grimaced. ‘To blunt most likely.’ She looked at him appalled, but not to upsettingly so, to which he carefully kept his eyes averted.

“That’s not helping you know.” She said with a soft smile.

‘Why is she smiling at that?’ Perplexed, he let it go and tried again. “It takes practice and a large amount of will power to block out such things.” He reached out unsurely and placed a hand on her shoulder with slight unease. He had seen this as a comforting motion before, but it felt strange to be the one using it. “Kagome, you are not that mad man. You are you. Find yourself and hold onto it with everything you have.”

She took the contact as an invitation and suddenly leaned into his chest, seeking the comfort of human contact to ground her. “I was trying that, but it’s so much harder now.” There was an almost sob to her voice, but she tried to restrain it. “ The memories are even more vivid and pop up more often.”

Gaara held his hands in mid air and looked down at her in mild shock. The move had not been expected, as nor had been the rest of this encounter. Slowly he placed an arm around her and let the other fall to the side, unsure what to do with it. After composing himself he began again. “I never said it would be an easy feat. But you are strong Kagome. You escaped certain death twice, escaped from Orochimaru’s hideout unaided, and seemed to have inspired quite a following of faithful comrades.” He patted her twice on the back. It seemed like the appropriate number to do so. “You will make it through this.” He stated and this time went on instinct rather than thinking about it. He lifted her chin so that she had to look at him now and gave her one of his rare true smiles. “I believe in you.” Tears rimmed her eyes as she gazed into his soft teal eyes. ‘What did I say? Was it wrong?’ When she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace and thanked him he realized it was one of those happy/thankful tear things and he hugged her in return. This time it was a bit warmer and not so awkward as his other actions.

Kagome finally sat back and wiped her tears. ‘Why was I being so stupid. I should have known that I wasn’t alone in this. How did I so easily forget that leaning on the shoulders of friends can get you through the toughest of times. I shouldn’t have pushed everyone away.’ She nodded to herself with a new resolve and smiled brightly at him. It was still a little lack lust compared to normal, but it was a start. With friends and time she knew she would be ok. “So, about the other subject.” She started.


The small smile that had graced his lips fell suddenly. “You should know, I won’t be much help.” He stated. “You already know it is not an area of... expertise for me.”

She waved him off. “Nonsense. Your doing so wonderfully already, lets keep the ball rolling.” A twinkle of amusement flashed in her eyes before the thought of the topic caused it to fade slightly. “So anyways...” She sobered. “I have already made my decision, but how do I tell the other that I no longer want to be with him?”

She had carefully worded the question which led him to believe she may have chose her past love. ‘Is she even aware of the life in her womb?’ He thought, but if he were to help in anyway, he needed facts. “Who have you chosen?”

She looked away for a moment as a hand went to her stomach. “There is only one man that I can truly see myself with in my own little ‘happily ever after’. And though I love them both I have to chose...”

~

IVX: Ohhhhh. Cliffy. And after such a long wait too. Lol. No really though. Sorry about the delay. I feel obligated to tell you why. My husband is in the military and has been gone for a few months now. The day I sat down to update this story, neh, the exact moment I sat down, My hubby called me and told me he was getting deployed directly out of schooling. He will be gone another 8 mo. Of course I got all sad and didn’t do anything for like a month, but I’m back up and moving again, so here it is. I hope you guys can forgive me for the wait... ^_~