InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ The horror of the seventh floor ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter six

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Puppies for peace! Yay puppies! Yay peace!

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School was really getting into full swing at The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi. They still hadn't found a suitable substitute teacher for "In character or Out of Character," and were running out of options. Characters no one had ever heard of were recruited, and the "Only Rumiko Takahashi's characters as teachers" rule was broken. Before the second week was over, Tetsuo, Urd, Mokona, Vegeta, and Ryoko had all gotten a shot at substituting until the real teacher was found... who WAS the real teacher anyway? They were all kicked out, though, as each one with the exception of Mokona, who just kept saying "Puu!" ended up blowing up part of the class room. All maimed/mortally wounded/broken boned students were still recovering. The faculty had an emergency on Friday and decided it was better to stick to Rumiko Takahashi's violent substitute teachers, because we did need more. Kisa reported to Cait what it had been like trying to force those teachers into Anger management counseling! After a few too many imploded heads, electrocuted people, blown up people, and more blown up people, the staff decided to let them get away without it, and made them leave, deciding never again to let another writer's characters into the sacred University. They had cleaned out the last of the outside evil, and everyone was safe.

Or so they thought.

An evil cackle was heard echoing through the halls in the middle of the night, to whomever or whatever was up to hear it. It grew louder, until the entire seventh floor was awakened by the maniacal laugh to end all maniacal laughs.

A sleep-deprived Inuyasha ran out into the corridor, trying to find the culprit and torture him slowly and painfully in vengeance for disturbing his beauty-sleep. He turned around and walked back up the corridor, trying to find out where it had been coming from. Unable to find the culprit he started back to his room, puzzled.

Another evil cackle was heard from the other end of the corridor, echoing throughout the staff floor.

*****Saturday*****

Cait and Pia were sitting on the floor with their books and notes out, studying. Their first test in "In Character or Out of Character" was Monday, and so far they had learned many things, such as how to levitate rocks, how to say "Puu" with emphasis, how to make various potions and medicines, how weak and pathetic you all are, and why Tenchi deserves Ryoko more than Aeka. They had yet to learn anything relating to the subject except what Miroku had taught them. Cait flipped the next page, despairing in how stupid this all was, as each substitute was contributing 1/6 of the test to his/her class, and wondering how hard it would be to bring an F- average to passing in the limited time they had in the trimester.

Pia was quizzing her. "All right, so what are three words that describe Mary-sues?"

"Obnoxious...Irritating...um...Annoying?"

"That works!" Pia crossed off the last question on her sheet. "Let's take a break, now. I'm tired of working!" She stood up, and opened the door. A squirt of water greeted her.

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Cait, irritated because she would have to change her back now, looked out the door. "Weird. No one's there."

A scream was heard from the dorm next door, and a loud obscenity a couple seconds afterwards from the one after that. "I wonder who could be doing that..." Cait absentmindedly murmured, before moving to close the door once more. A loud voice startled her, and she frantically looked up and down the corridor for the source of it.

"All Jusenkyo cursed will bow to me, supreme master of Jusenkyo springs! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHA!" A fat man with a starred hat and a megaphone was standing in the middle of the hall with a pail of water and a plastic squirt gun.

"EEEEEK! This is a GIRL'S DORM!" Several girls started running after the man with vengeance in their eyes and mallets in their hands.

"Oh, you will no hurt me, for I here have magic water in pail, yes?" The girls stopped. The Jusenkyo Guide smiled in a very unsettling way.

"What's the problem here?" Akane suddenly appeared behind the Guide, crossing her arms in a "taking-no-crap" kind of way.

The Guide backed away from Akane. "Aiyaa! Mallet girl!" He smiled sneakily again, and, with gloved hands, filled the plastic squirt gun he was holding with water from the bucket. "You no bother me for this is water from. . ." pausing for effect, he did a dramatic pose, holding the water up high "OOC-NIICHUAN!"

"OOC-niichuan?" Akane grabbed him by the collar. "What's it supposed to do?"

The Jusenkyo guide, realizing there was no where to run, began to explain. "OOC-niichuan is only temporarily lasting one hour, but in one hour it take worst OOC fic ever written with character and make it act like that for one whole hour! Is a too-too terrible threat to all character! And I. . ." pausing once more for dramatic effect, he held up the squirt gun full of OOC-niichuan "Have the only. . ."

Akane didn't give him a chance to finish his statement, but tipped the bucket over onto him.

"AIYAA! WHAT YOU DO?! WHAT YOU. . ." he suddenly went limp and fell to the ground. All the girls who had gathered in the hall way watching them started to walk away when he suddenly rose with a glow in his eyes.

"Ranma-chan. . . I have always desired you. . . come to me!" Akane kicked through the roof, but incidently that made him crash through the six and seventh floor ceilings also. "That should keep him out of the way for one hour at least. . ." she grumbled.

Ranma poked his head through the hole in the ceiling. "Hey, Akane! I can understand trashing the students' floors, but why did you make a hole through the staff floor?" A couple excited girls quickly wrote down that the staff floor was the sixth. Cait started wondering what was on the seventh. . .

Before she had time to think about it, strange smoke started pouring in from the ceiling. "You fool! You crashed the guide through the seventh floor too?!" Ranma yelled at Akane. Akane was already running away toward the stairs. "Get out, quick!" Ranma jumped down to their floor, and picked up some loose boards, trying to plug the hole. When the smoke persisted, he started running too. "Everyone, get out! If you get caught near here. . ." the girls couldn't hear the rest of his sentence as he jumped out the window into the pool. A female voice shouting obscenities was heard coming from the pool's general direction, followed by an "Oh, my pigtailed goddess!" and an inter-planetary kick. Everyone stared after him.

Then they all panicked.

"AAAAAH!"

The girls started running everywhere. Some hurried to the two elevators, which, incidentally, had both been broken by a certain angry half-demon who had had too many attempts on his sanity by fangirls, and decided it was better to kill them all. After a couple body slams from an inflatable Kotatsu-neko he had finally given it up and went to his anger management counseling session, but the elevators were broken in the process, and currently stuck between the first and second floors.

Cait and the rest of the girls on her floor ran to the stairs and cambered down five flights of stairs until they were safely out of the building. The sight that greeted their eyes was. . . well. . . hard to describe. Almost all of the students were running around, screaming for no particular reason. Some were trying to escape the building's proximity as fast as they could, but they were caught by the "no-students-shall-escape-from-school" force field.

The rest of the students tried to find somewhere to hide, or someone to hide behind, and ran off in search of those as fast as they could. Kaede was standing with some of the faculty, having what looked like an emergency meeting. Cait, along with Kisa, Nate, and a girl that was a Hybrid demon named Kat, decided to spy on them.

From what it looked like from behind the bush all four of them were hiding, Kaede was pacing frantically, while Lum frantically flew to and fro. "What will the students do if they find out about the curse on the seventh floor?" Lum less-than-playfully asked her.

"Alas..." Kaede looked mournfully downwards. "They are already terrified enough without knowing about the true horror of the seventh floor. With the added panic, they may... no, let's not go there. We must hope for the best. Maybe no one was around, and maybe there was no one to be affected by it... let us pray so."

Cait, Kisa, Nate, and Kat silently crept away to avoid getting caught spying on them. "What could the curse do?" Kat mused out loud. "What could be horrid enough to alarm the entire school-including the teachers to death? I mean, it can't be THAT scary, can it?" A huge bang was heard, coming from the top of the building. "AAAAAH!" the entire student body screamed as they ran, frightened out of their lives.

Cait was running to take shelter from the mysterious horror that had been released by the explosion in the seventh floor, but then something struck her. A cement block that had fallen from the seventh floor ceiling, to be exact. Then something else struck her. Inuyasha was digging a fallout shelter, and a spray of dirt had struck Cait in the face. But then, one more thing struck her.

"Pia's still up there!"

*****

Cait ran up the first few flights of stairs, stepped quickly up the third and fourth, and panted slowly up the fifth floor's stairs. "What I will do for that rabid squirrel. . ." Cait grumbled, as she ran to her room's door. It was already open, and Pia was nowhere to be found. "P....Pia?!" Cait exclaimed, running back out into the hall, all tiredness escaping as quickly as a rabid squirrel can catch an unladen swallow carrying a coconut.

Pia the rabid squirrel was huddling under a water fountain, backing away from something pouring down from the hole in the ceiling. It looked like green jello mixed with green soup mixed with lime green icicle treats. Cait ran over to Pia the rabid squirrel and picked her up, while starting to run to the stairs. The green goop blocked her path, and started bubbling furiously. Cait screamed, and ran around panicked for several seconds, until she started noticing the gooey green was acting weird. It was taking the shape of...

Cait started running, while screaming her head off, hoping someone would hear as she ran feverishly around, searching for any way to get out of the way of this horrible atrocity, which had assumed the shape of...

A certain insane Jusenkyo guide under the influence of OOC-niichuan, all covered in slimy green ooze, and standing behind him was a certain perverted Happosai, clutching green tinted lingerie, covered with green ooze from head to toe.

Cait found a window, and without hesitation got up onto the sill, poised to jump down five floors in blind panic, to escape whatever horrors the two green ghouls behind her were planning. "The horror! The horror!" she cried.

Silently, she wondered what was so particularly frightening about a green Jusenkyo guide under the influence of OOC-niichuan and Happosai. Suddenly she felt a pair of perverted gooey hands clutching her chest, accompanied by another pair on her shoulders. A ghoulish snicker followed. "If I can't have Ranma-chan...she will do.... muwahahaha...."

Cait shrieked and ran away from them.

Green-goo Happosai and Jusenkyo Guide flew through the air after her, while moaning ghoulishly. "Waaaaaggaaaaa..." the Jusenkyo guide muttered, reaching Cait. She slapped him, and jumped without hesitation down five stories, clutching Pia. "EEEEEEEEEEK!" she squealed, as she was heading downwards. 50 feet, 30, 10, 5....

*****

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Cait woke up in a soft bed. Snapping awake, she sat up and looked around her to see where she was. The last thing she remembered were those disgusting gooey Happosai and Jusenkyo guides, and jumping... oh.

She was in the infirmary. Numerous other students were in the beds surrounding her, with various injuries. Many had broken bones, arms in slings, or limbs that looked like they were about to fall off. One had a neck brace. Cait examined her own injuries. On leg was in a cast, her other ankle was bandaged, and her shoulder looked quite banged up too. Not very bad for falling five stories. Cait noticed that her hair was slightly wet too, so she must've fallen into the pool. That explained a lot, like her still being alive.

Suddenly she sat up, remembering the ooze zombies that had been chasing her. "What happened to Happosai and the Jusenkyo guide?!" she shouted, to no one in particular.

"Is something wrong?" A man in a white coat with a name tag reading 'Dr. Tofu' came up to her, holding a try full of long, pointy instruments. "Do you need some more painkiller?"

"N....No thank you..." Cait muttered, eyeing the sharp needles fearfully. "Do you know what happened? To the green-"

Dr. Tofu cut her off. "Shh! Don't speak of their greenness in this sanctuary from their evil!" After glancing to see if no one was listening, he sighed and continued to talk. "I was too busy hiding beneath a bush to notice..." Cait looked blankly at him, while Dr. Tofu kept shivering, cringing at the thought. "Here's some insta-heal. Cologne and I invented it. It will heal your injuries in 24 hours."

"Cool!" Cait exclaimed as she swallowed the cup Dr. Tofu handed to her. It tasted like Altoids and Listerine mixed together. "But I wish I knew what happened to those green gooze guys....." she sighed.

"I know what happened to them." A student in the bed next to her said softly. Cait looked over at the girl lying down on the bed next to her. "My name's Lenore. I was there. I saw."

Cait leaned forward as Lenore began to tell of what had happened to the green gooze ghouls. "I was trying to get out of the dorm lobby, last of all those rushing out. Out in the air outside there was a chance, even with concrete slabs falling left and right. Suddenly, when I'm out and almost to shelter, I heard this freaky laughing. Then there was this gigantic crash, and from above me, there comes this girl falling out of the fifth floor. She landed in the pool, I guess, I wasn't watching..."

Cait interrupted. "That must've been me! I fell out of the fifth story! What happened after that?"

"I'm glad you're all right." Lenore continued. "After that, well, I couldn't see very well as I was trying to find somewhere to hide, and that's the thing! No one knew what they were running from either, except the staff! So, there I was, running around in panic like everyone else without somewhere to hide and then..." Lenore grimaced. "THEY appeared out of a window."

"What then?" Cait inquired, hoping to find out what had happened to the green gooze ghouls, (ooh that sounds cool) when suddenly someone burst through the doors of the infirmary.

"Good news, students!" A heavily bandaged Tatewaki Kuno announced proudly while striding in, accompanied by several stretchers carrying various teachers. "I have vanquished the green evils with my own strength!"

"Liar! We did!" Ranma-chan, from a stretcher, struggled to talk through all the bandages.

Inuyasha glared at him, also on a stretcher "You didn't do anything, while we were fighting you were writing a sonnet to a tree! I'm warning you, when I'm out of all this, you're going to get it."

"It wasn't just a tree! It was the very image and essence of my beloved pigtailed goddess!" Kuno suddenly noticed Ranma-chan. "Oh, pigtailed girl! How I have longed for you!" He tried to embrace Ranma while being kicked in the head.

"Really. You have no talent whatsoever for seducing his female you desire." Miroku noted, loudly. "You need to refine your technique, to become a successful..." Miroku was interrupted be a kick from Ranma. "DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!"

Lenore sat up in bed, only to be restricted by a sling and leg cast. "Miroku!" she cried out, reaching for him. The crashes and bangs following that resulted in several collapsed cots and part of the ceiling falling in.

Cait rolled over, wincing on her broken leg, and dozed off. It had been a long day. Time to sleep.

*****

This took a while, I know, but it's done. Bear with me, I do try to update frequently, but it takes a long time to write a good chapter.

I finished the Akira manga yesterday. It's the best. Read it. :)

Next chapter: Replacement dorms, construction, and the vanquishing of the green.