InuYasha Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ What You Didn't Know and Didn't Need to Know about Escaflowne and InuYasha ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

(Allen materializes in the middle of the room, tucking his shirt back into place.)

Principessa/Celena: O.O Allen…?

Allen: *Darn* beam of light. Celena…?

Principessa/Celena: Yes? What's this about you having a child with Marlene and flirting with a gazillion other girls?!?!?!

Allen: Now, who put such strange ideas like that in your head? ::glares dangerously around the room::

Principessa/Celena: ::points to Penguin:: Her!

Penguin: ::cuddling closer to Folken with a BIG smile, not noticing that Allen has appeared and is death-glaring her:: Ah, watashi no Folken Lacour de Fanel-sama…punish me…punish me….

Jajuka: Um!

Principessa/Celena: You and Miroku keep trying to have children with people.

Allen: Wha? You mean that monk is still around? ::looks around and sees him trying to feel up Naria, who has regained consciousness and is scratching him:: Oh.

Miroku: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! This chick is too high maintenance!!!

Naria: Perv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miroku: Hey, I'm not the one trying to get your Folken dude to spank me….

Naria: Neither am I…WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S SHE DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

::runs over to Penguin and starts attacking her:: GET OFF OF HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Principessa/Celena: Now Allen, what HAVE you exactly been doing while I've been gone?

Allen: Heh heh… *sweatdrop* Nothing!

Principessa/Celena: I really must monitor your behavior ::shaking head::.

Allen: *shoot* ::under breath:: I'll have to cancel on Millerna, then….

Principessa/Celena: What was that…?

Allen: Nothing! Nothing!

(Hitomi and Van enter.)

Hitomi: Huh? Where are we now?

Van: Looks like a Zaibach Floating Fortress….

Penguin: Where they cut down people in mass numbers-AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ::at this point, Penguin "cuts down" Naria, knocking her unconscious and onto Eriya, who is just waking up and is rendered unconscious once again::

Van: Ah watashi no kami-sama…. Ani-ue, what the *heck* are you doing?

Folken: This is NOT my fault! Blame it on the blonde! Someone cover Van's eyes! He's too young to see this!

Van: What?! Is THIS the reason you betrayed our country?! Is this how you conduct yourself now, in total and complete shame?! I cannot ALLOW you the name of Fanel if you are going to abuse the name in such a…grotesque fashion!

Folken: I'M not abusing my name, SHE is!!!

Penguin: ::snuggling up to Folken and clinging tighter:: Ah watashi no Folken Lacour de Fanel-sama…you're so-o-o kawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitomi: Nani okurei?!?!

Principessa/Celena: They're all being perverse. Who are you, by the way?

Hitomi: No wa Hitomi Kanzaki, and this is Van Slanzar de Fanel. Who are you?

Principessa/Celena: Atashi wa Celena, Allen's sister.

Hitomi: So…eh, what's going on?

Principessa/Celena: I'm not quite sure…I just turned back into myself, but many people are being QUITE perverse. Although, from the looks of it, the tall one with the blue hair that the blonde girl is hanging off of is not desiring of the attention he's getting. So you might want to tell your friend that.

Hitomi: I see… ::looks over at Van, who is still fuming at Folken and sighs::

Van: You disgust me, ani-ue! How can I even call you my ani-ue?

Miroku: You open your mouth and say: o-nni-we-i.

Van: ::glares at Miroku:: Damate!!!!!

(Dilandau enters, Viole clinging onto his boot, being dragged as Dilandau makes slow progress towards the chaos.)

Principessa/Celena: ::looks up at Dilandau:: Wait, how does THIS work?

Dilandau: Wha? What do you mean? Who're you?

Principessa/Celena: Anno…I'm you…kinda…well, actually, you're me, just fate altered….

Dilandau: Heh?

Principessa/Celena: We're not supposed to exist at the same time! We use the same body, with some, eh, major changes…. Oh, don't ask ME how it works!

Jajuka: ::looking over:: Dilandau…AND Celena?

Miroku: ::noticing Dilandau:: AHK!!!! It's the gay guy who can't understand me with mah ayahccent!!!!!!!!!

Jajuka: Your WHAT?

Miroku: ACCENT!!! ACCENT, ACCENT, AYAHCCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jajuka: Okay! Okay! Gomen nasai!

Dilandau: Hey, now I can understand him! He's talking different! He was talking strange before just to confuse me!!!!!!!!! Why that little…! ::noticing Van, who is STILL screaming at Folken and now also at Penguin, who is actually SCREAMING back:: Hey, it's the baka who killed my Dragon Slayers! How DARE he be in my presence! I'm going to KILL HIM!!!!!!!

Viole: ::pulling out script:: Wait, we're not dead yet.

Dilandau: Oh yeah, so he's the guy who's GOING to kill my Dragon Slayers! And besides, he cut my face…he cut my beautiful face!!!!!!!!!!!!

Viole: ::tugging on Dilandau's armor:: Oh, Dilandau-sama, your face is still SO-O-O BEAUTIFUL! I love looking at it…*in song* night and day… day and night….

Dilandau: Nani? What are you talking about? Hen tano! ::kicks Viole::

Viole: ::sigh:: Oh, the glorious feel of your foot! ::drools::

Miroku: I THOUGHT they were gay.

Allen: Or at least ONE is.

Miroku: Yeah, the question is: which one? And, eh, what's going on?

Dilandau: You're talking about confusing things. What's 'gay'?

All: *sweatdrop*

Miroku: Guess we know which one….

Allen: *cough* Viole! *cough**cough*

Principessa/Celena: ::holding up the script:: Onni-sama? Uh, how come you know his name? I mean, I don't think you've ever met him personally.

Allen: ::thinking hard:: That's a very good question…but it IS in the script.

Dilandau: I ASKED what is 'GAY'?

Miroku: Viole is gay. That is what's gay.

Dilandau: ::looking at Viole:: I don't get it.

Folken: Dilandau, 'gay' is when your love preference is of the same gender as yourself.

Dilandau: But I change genders….

Hitomi: Well, you're a different person when you're Celena. You're her ::points to Principessa/Celena::

Viole: I don't like HER, I like Dilandau-sama!!!!

Principessa/Celena: Well good, `cause I don't like you either!