InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ All Of Me ❯ One ( Chapter 1 )

~*~I'm supposed to be studying for my religion test in the morn, but this song came on and I got a one-shot idea. Here you go. I do not own Inu Yasha, sad for me.~*~

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All of Me

The sky was very dark this night. He didn't mind though. He didn't care about anything lately. Not since that day. Pain filled his heart as he recalled those painful memories. How could he have been so stupid? Why didn't he understand and appreciate what she had brought into his life? It was too late now. He could never tell her.

Frustrated and pained, the white haired man smashed his head into the trunk of the tree he was sitting in. Of course, it didn't help, only caused him more pain. Cursing under his breath, the man cast his amber eyes to the stars. Ever since that day, he had refused to close his eyes for long, which showed even on the hanyou. He was afraid, afraid to relive that day.

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**I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears**

~

He had been careless. If only he hadn't been so selfish, she might still be there with him, by his side like she had wanted. But no. He was stupid and yelled at her, trying to push her away. And yet, he longed for her presence every time she left. Why couldn't he have told her everything? They might have been happy. Instead, she was gone. It wasn't like the times where they would just argue and she run home. She was really gone this time, never coming back.

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**And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave**

~

Why couldn't he move on? There was no way he could. Everywhere he looked, she was there in some form or another. They shared too many memories; no matter where he turned, there was a moment he recalled and it hurt.

Her eyes had killed him the most. The fire was lost in them, as if she was broken. She had run from him, but it wasn't like the other times. There was no way to get her back. She was somewhere he couldn't go. She was always with him, in the wind or the trees. It left him guilty. She was everywhere, yet not there.

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**Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone**

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His friends were worried about him. The amber eyed man had not moved from that tree since she left him. That was a year ago. How could they continue on with their lives and he was stuck? He envied them. Constantly damning himself, he blamed his closeness to her for all the pain. Many times he had thought it would have been better to not have met her at all. His thoughts always stopped there as a memory of her face entered his mind each and every time.

Kami, he hurt so much. So much time had past. Everyone had learned to move on. Even the little fox was looking more to the monk and youkai exterminator as parents. Life moved on all around him. Why couldn't he get past this? The man smiled. He knew why. There was just too much that he remembered; things he could not erase from his mind, even if he wanted to.

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**These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time can not erase**

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'I would never be able to forget about her. She had shed tears for me more than once. No matter how many times I pushed her away, she came back. She trusted me with no reservations… well, eventually anyway. I'd always go to her if she were in trouble. Even when she was under someone else's control, she fought against them, doing her best not to hurt me. Even though she was strong, that didn't mean she couldn't cry. I remember her tears. She had cried on that day too.'

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**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears**

~

He had been stupid before, torn between his past and her. Why did he wait so long? What was he afraid of? Rejection. But that never made sense. She came back to him when he had made his choice. She didn't care, saying she just wanted to be with him. That was the main difference. His past wanted him to die while she wanted him to live. Is this what he had to live for? This pain?

His mind jumped to when she did come back. She had taken his hand to walk back to the village. His fingers covered hers; a perfect fit. That was when he really started to realize he would be there for her, that she held a part of him. When did that part grow to take over his whole being?

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**And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me**

~

There was nothing that she left untouched. No matter where he turned, there she was. People would always change for the better after they had seen her smile. Even that stupid wolf had changed. She had a way of calming them both. He never gave her mind enough credit. She was smart and brave. It was too late now to tell her. He couldn't tell her how she blew him away with some of her ideas. He would never understand anything she did at that school of hers and because of that, he respected her.

The village had a small memorial built for her, showing their respect for her as well. She was honored as a powerful miko, but also as a woman with a strong and kind spirit, one that spread to everyone. He couldn't go anywhere and not see someone that had grown or improved due to her presence.

He knew he has changed as well. Before, he was a cold person, untrusting of anyone. She had melted his frozen heart without him even realizing. It had grown so natural having her by his side. He was a much better person because of her. No, that's not right. He became a better person for her. That was his only reason for the change. She wanted him to be better. She had no desire to change him, but to make him into someone that was warm. There was no way he could return to his old life, not after her touch.

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**You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

~

His eyes slowly began to close, but flew open as usual. He dared not sleep. If he did, he would see her face again, haunting him because of what happened. It was all his fault. It was always his fault, but this was something he could not go apologize for. He remembered when she had said goodbye to him, her eyes as focused on him as they could get. Those five words drove him insane with panic and desperation. It was his fault. His dreams proved it every time they replayed the moment, her goodbye, and the shattering of everything around him.

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**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**

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Why was fate so cruel? He just could not convince his mind to forget even the smallest detail about her- her smile, her eyes, the way her hair blew with the wind, her intoxicating scent that drove him wild yet calmed him as well.

Nothing he could do would make this heartache go away. The monk had come to see him now and then, in hopes of getting him out of the tree. Nothing would help. This was his tree, the spot where he had first met her. This was his main link to her other world besides the well. Her scent still lingered in its trunk and branches, the leaves moving as she had. He couldn't bear to leave it, but the pain was still there. No matter what he did, he was in constant pain.

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**These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time can not erase**

~

Time. Why was it so spiteful? If he had only been there a second sooner… It didn't matter anymore. She was gone. He would never see her beautiful brown eyes

focus on his, searching his soul. Never would he hold her to him again or watch her sleep by the fire, so peaceful, knowing he was right there. She trusted him completely, regardless of if he deserved it or not. That was the kind of person she was. Even when she was furious at him, she still trusted him to save her, catch her if she fell. He was there too. He didn't want her to lose trust in him. It made him feel special, as if she gave him this special gift. He was grateful to her for that.

Why did she have to be ripped away from him? He had always saved her before. He wasn't that far away either. She was just in a clearing nearby. When her scream filled the air, his whole body panicked. Immediately he had gone to her, to protect her and kill whatever had caused her fear. He was not prepared for what had happened.

Three large demons were there, one on top of her. His blood boiled at the thought of what they wanted to do. Charging at them, he easily defeated one, but the other two were far better. One kept him busy while the other continued to cause her harm, slapping her or twisting her body in ways it should never go. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried hard not to scream out in pain.

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**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

~

Anger pushed him to the max as he fought as hard as he could. Soon, it was down to just him and the final demon. The battle was long and hard, causing both to become injured. He had made sure she was out of the way so he could not harm her during battle.

The fight continued on. He could hear her panicked voice when a blow had struck him, causing him to lose more and more blood. He didn't care. As long as she was alright, he would die for her. That was his only wish. It didn't matter what he was as long as she remained safe.

He had the demon on the ground, struggling to stand. Standing over the demon, he grew cocky, telling the demon if that was all it had. That was his mistake. Instead of just killing him, the demon sent out a shot of energy, not at him but at her. She was too stunned to move, but he raced over and moved her out of the way, his ankle the only thing being hit by the blast. He was stuck, unable to run on it. The demon stood up and got ready to fire on last shot. It was sent on him this time. There was nothing he could do. It was far too fast for him to dodge. To his horror, he felt her slam into him, pushing him out of harms way, taking the hit herself. She had saved his life, giving up her own in the process.

Anger flooded through him as he made himself stand and defeat the demon with one last strike of his sword. Immediately, he went by her side as her breathing was becoming fainter with each intake. He picked her up into his arms and held her close to him, begging her not to leave him and scolding her for what she had done.

Her chocolate colored eyes gazed into his amber ones with a glassy look, telling him all he needed to know. Reaching up, she stroked his cheek limply with her fingers that were slowly turning cold. She smiled at him and told him five words. Those five words still haunted him. He took her hand in his and held her as she slipped into deep sleep.

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**And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me**

~

The memories were flooding back to him- of him taking her through the well and seeing her mother's face. There were loud noises and a weird vehicle that came and took her away. Something about a healer and they were trying to save her.

That was a year ago. He now sat in his tree, letting his mind wander around. Of all the moments they shared, why had he not told her what he had known for a long time now? She had confessed before leaving him. Her final words to him which haunted his mind: "I love you, Inuyasha. Goodbye."

Looking down at the forest below, a figure sat at the base of the tree, as if waiting for him. Trying to look closer, he saw who it was, the one that haunted him. She was there, sitting by his side as always. Before he could move to her, she disappeared, fading away into the night. This happened every night now. Even though he knew she was gone, a small spark of hope flickered inside him whenever he saw the ghost of her spirit. His mind, exhausted from lack of sleep, was playing tricks on him again. She would never be by his side again. He was alone now, only living by memories.

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**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along**

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Tears began running down his face, but he did not bother to wipe them away. They would always come back, whether he tried to rid himself of them or not. She was too deep inside him for him to move on. Without her, a part of him was missing. She was his other half, his good half. Why did she have to leave him? She was much more important to the world than he was. He wanted to give her everything, see her smile. She was so alive, but she gave it all up for him. He didn't deserve it.

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**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears**

~

It was deep into the night by now. His eyes cast onto the well, the reason she came into his life. Like he did every night, the hanyou jumped down from his perch and walked over to the vertical tunnel. Without a second thought, he jumped through, crossing time to be where she was.

The stars were dimmer here. The shrine had an uneasy feel to it. It was as if it was mourning her, grieving over what had happened. Wasting no time, he went over to her home and jumped up to land right outside her window. Reaching out, he pushed the window to the side to open it, gaining him entrance to her room. The once bright and cheerful place was gloomy and gave a depressed like atmosphere.

That didn't bother him anymore. Walking over to the bed, he gazed at the woman lying in it. Her hair lay limp around her shoulders as her white arms were motionless by her sides. A few tubes and wires were attached to the girl that led to these machines that beeped every now and then. The white haired man was used to these sights and sounds already, being here many times before.

Kneeling down beside the woman's bed, he took her soft, weak hand in his own, gazing at her face with some small hope in his eyes. There was nothing given in return to him besides the beep from the machine.

Nothing had changed from the other times he was here by her side. She had been there for him when he needed her, so he would do the same for her. He would do anything for her, give up his life to give her back her own. He just wished to know if she was truly gone from this life or not, just some sign. Silence, save the beeps, was his answer.

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**I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have…**

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The pain surrounded him as night was beginning to transform into day. It was getting harder and harder to go through this torture, but he made himself do this each and every night. Something just would not let her go. Another tear ran from his eye as he leaned forward and left a soft, delicate kiss on her forehead. 'I love you, Kagome Higurashi. You will always have…'

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**all of me**

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Before letting go of her hand, he felt a small squeeze from hers. Shocked, he looked at her face for some sign that it wasn't just his imagination. He waited as long as he dared before standing up. Her hand squeezed his again, as if begging him not to leave her. With a soft smile of happiness broke onto his face as he sat back down again. "I won't leave you, Kagome. I can't leave my heart behind. As you did for me, I will stay by your side, forever."

With that, the hanyou ran his hand down her cheek before slipping into a sleep that did not terrify him. It was there he met with her smiling face again. She reached out and took his hand, as if taking him away from his pain and sorrow. Before he could say anything, the raven haired girl spoke. "I will always be by your side, Inuyasha. I love you."

"I love you too, Kagome."

As the sun rose, it shed its light into the room and rested on the sleeping forms there. Both seemed peaceful and slept with small smiles on their faces, finally reunited and complete.

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**all of me**

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~*~The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. I do not own that. Any comments are welcomed. Ja ne.~*~