InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Anyone can love ❯ choice ( Chapter 4 )

*disclaimer, I do not own Inuyasha or its characters, I do however own Tsuyara.*

 

Chapter 4

Choice

 

Tsuyara became more talkative as she traveled with Sesshoumaru and his company. Though she kept her distance, she seemed comfortable around him. For that he was grateful, she would no longer flinch if he touched her or spoke to her, it was almost as if that incident in the water opened some kind of door inside of Tsuyara. But as she became comfortable, Sesshoumaru became more… embarrassed around the snake Youkai. He couldn't explain the way he felt about her to himself, and would deny the truths of it… love was a human emotion.

 

One day though, Tsuyara became uneasy around him more then she had since he offered for her to come with him. Sesshoumaru asked several times that day if she was ok and she answered with the same thing every time.

 

“There's nothing wrong… I'm ok.”

 

Before dusk that night, Tsuyara stood up and looked at Sesshoumaru in a strange sort of grimace. His eyes dashed over her expression and he could smell the anxiety within her.

 

“Are you sure there's nothing wrong? You've been acting very strange today.” He asked calmly. Tsuyara sighed and shook her head.

 

“… I'm just… I don't know I need to leave for a while.” She said quietly avoiding his golden eyes. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow in an incredulous way.

 

“I thought you enjoyed our company.” He indicated nodding toward Rin in particular, who was laughing at Jaken for some reason that was insignificant. Tsuyara nodded again but had a pained look on her face.

 

“I'm just not sure…” she paused thinking to her self “if I made the right choice coming with you.”

 

Sesshoumaru thought about her words for a moment before opening his mouth to speak… but he couldn't think of anything to say. He had asked several times in the past if she really wanted to stay with him or not, each time she said she would but maybe she's not sure of it now. So instead of saying anything he simply nodded.

 

“Just let me spend the night alone.” She said softly “if I come back in the morning we'll both know that I want to stay.” Sesshoumaru nodded slowly

 

“Will you be safe on your own?” he asked

 

“I'll manage.” Tsuyara assured him. Sesshoumaru looked at her concernedly.

 

“If you need help… call for me.” he said with an emotionless tone, but his eyes pleaded with her. She nodded again.

 

“I will” she promised.

 

As she turned to walk away she grimaced with in her self at a thought… I won't be able to hide this for long.' She thought `and I can't lie to him… but for now just survive the night.'

 

Sesshoumaru sighed as the sun hid behind the horizon. This would be the first time in a month that Tsuyara wasn't with him through the night. Wither he liked her or not, he still became found of the female Youkai, and just as he cared for Rin, he feared for Tsuyara's protection as well. `But the thing is Tsuyara is a grown Youkai, Rin is just a human child. Tsuyara can take care of her self if she wasn't clumsy…' Sesshoumaru laughed. That's why he wanted to watch over her. She was clumsy for a Youkai; also she told him before that she didn't know much about her powers… `I won't let anything happen to her.'

 

All through the night, Sesshoumaru had to stop himself from going after Tsuyara. He wanted to make sure that she was alright, but something in her eyes when she asked to leave had begged and pleaded with him not to follow. So he forced himself to stay where he was. `If she doesn't return in the morning, I'll go find her.'

 

Rin moved in her sleep, and Sesshoumaru sighed as he remembered the child's questioning eyes as Tsuyara disappeared into the trees.

 

“She'll be back in the morning, just go to sleep and you'll wake finding her here.” He had said to comfort Rin. The little girl had grown greatly found of the Youkai. Tsuyara was almost a mother to Rin and the feminine companionship must have been welcomed greatly since Rin had traveled with himself and Jaken for so long.

 

Looking up to the sky, Sesshoumaru sighed at the full moon that lit the night. The way it glowed reminded him of the strange color of Tsuyara's hair waist length hair. The golden gleam of each white strand intrigued him so much and he didn't know why. His thoughts trailed off to her eyes, remembering their natural crimson glow. The way she looked at him… it wasn't like any other female Youkai had ever looked at him. Her eyes, despite the odd red color, seemed almost human with their emotions. He's seen that same look in Rins eyes when the little girl looked up to him for comfort. He's even seen it in the Miko, Kagome when he's in battle with his baka brother. That same look… the look of concern for Inuyasha. Maybe it was a female thing. But he wasn't sure; all he knew was that her eyes showed caring. As he thought of her his mind trailed to her tail… he laughed silently to himself. It was an interesting tail; it didn't suit her that much. The black color for one clashed with her golden white hair. And the blade seemed a bit formidable. But he liked it anyways, the way it swayed behind her when she walked, and the way she would wrap it around her when she sat down, and slept. One thing though confused him. Her feet were like cat paws. Why would a snake have those? Though the way the glossy golden brown fur shone like her hair, and the small agile paws fit her persona either way.

 

He laughed out loud at himself. He was thinking of Tsuyara in a way he never thought he would… shaking his head he leapt into the tree above to wait out the rest of the night. He closed his eyes and the image of Tsuyara continued to fill his mind, he couldn't help but smile.

~

As Sesshoumaru peacefully thought of Tsuyara through the night… Tsuyara, needless to say, would grimace every time she thought of him that night. As she sat high in a tree she glared at the full moon while twiddling her fingers around her now raven black hair. Tsuyara was in fact a Hanyou. Though for some unnamed reason no Youkai could sense it… at all. She was so frightened of Sesshoumaru when he had said his feelings toward his brother Inuyasha, and how he despised Hanyous, that at the time she wanted to distance her self as far form him as she could without him noticing anything strange. It was unnerving to her how he would react if he found out. Would I be able to run off every month without him realizing anything? She grimaced again at the thought and growled. No, she couldn't… `I'll leave in the morning, maybe he won't find me. Ra I was so stupid to follow him!' She hissed inwardly at her self. Racking her hands through her black hair she sighed again, her now deep blue-green eyes showered with disappointment and worry. `I'll miss that human child, Rin. She's such a sweet girl.' She smiled, remembering the way the child openly smiled at her and spoke to her. Being around a Youkai like Sesshoumaru, she assumed that Rin was comfortable around other Youkai. But it was comforting to know that Rin had trusted her. Humans often chased her down…

 

Her thoughts trailed to those moments at the pond. The way he looked at her… and when they resurfaced after she slipped in… Tsuyara couldn't help but laugh. They were so close that if they were any closer they would have been kissing, and the blush on his face was almost comforting in a way. She also remembered that first night she spent in his presence. He had said that he would protect her… a numb feeling swelled up inside her chest that was overwhelming. It pained her to remember those words. She took in a deep broken breath and released it slowly; trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. `Would he still want to protect me if he saw me now?'

 

A sudden rustle of leaves jerked her out of her worried mind and she jerked around to find the source of the noise. It was nothing more then an owl. She sighed deeply, grateful that it was just a bird. Being out her alone on this night was nothing new to her but she was more defenseless now then she is any other time. She couldn't help but think how much better she could rest if Sesshoumaru would protect her in this state. She laughed at her self incredulously

 

“Only a dream, Tsuyara… you'd better forget that dream now before it hurts you in the end.” She told her self angrily. “Because it will.”

 

`I should have just gone on my way after he saved me at that cliff… I should have just left and forgot him.'

 

A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek…

~

When morning came, Sesshoumaru looked hopefully towards the trees where Tsuyara had traveled. He hoped beyond anything else that she would be returning soon. The sound of muffled sobbing reached his ears and he looked down at Rin, she had woken. Sesshoumaru winced, he had promised her that Tsuyara would be there when she woke up… but the captivating cobra Youkai was not there. Jaken tried to stop her crying but was failing miserably. Sesshoumaru jumped down next to Rin and held the sobbing child.

 

“Lord Sesshoumaru, Tsuyara's not back yet! Why didn't she come back?” she wailed staring up at him.

 

“I don't know.” He said as he tried to comfort the girl. “But I'll find out.” He assured her with a definite tone. Rin looked pleadingly into his eyes, rubbing her tears off her cheek.

 

“You'll go get her?” she asked. Sesshoumaru nodded.

 

“Jaken, watch Rin for me, I have someone to track down this morning.” He said, Jaken looked questionably at him but Sesshoumaru shot him an I-dare-you-to-ask sort of glare and Jaken nodded instantly without a word.

 

As Sesshoumaru jumped into the sky, sniffing for Tsuyara's sent, he growled at her even though she was not there to hear it. The look on Rins face this morning was one thing… but he had told Tsuyara that he would protect her, that he wouldn't harm her. He wanted to yell at her when he found her… but a voice told him that that wasn't a good idea.

`Besides, you did tell her she could leave when ever she wanted. She's not yours either…' he told himself, but he had to find her for some reason. He didn't know why… it wasn't like him either and he knew it. But he had to…

 

The sent that he was searching for came to him and he landed in a tree to get a better hold on her aroma. Her sent was a strange one, it was sandy and warm. But it made sense; she did come from Egypt, which he had heard was practically nothing but a sandy desert. But it did have an unknown floral sent mingled within it. As Tsuyara's sent wafted to him he could smell the salt of dried up tears tangled in her sandy smell. Was she crying during the night? His heart beat a little faster as the need to find her grew. `Why was she crying?'

 

Her sent grew deeper as he moved in the direction that it led him in. then he saw her leaning against a tree. Her hands were in her golden white hair, and her face was hidden from leaning her head on her knees. A gentle sob reached his sensitive ears, and the salt smell reached him again… but this time it was fresh, why did it pain him to see her like that? A muffled sound caught him.

 

“Why was I so stupid?” Tsuyara had muttered between sobs. “I didn't really want to leave…but…”

 

“Then why did you?”

 

Tsuyara jumped about two feet as she twisted around to meet Sesshoumarus eyes. She looked fearful and torn. She looked happy yet fearful that he was there.

 

“W-what—are you doing… here?” she asked brokenly.

 

“You didn't return so I came to get you.” Sesshoumaru said a little more sternly then he wanted. Tsuyara closed her eyes tight as she turned her head away from him and choked out several lout sobs.

 

“Why did you leave?” he asked softly. She shook her head, and Sesshoumaru knew that she wasn't going to tell him. He stepped toward her and kneeled down in front of her looking into her red eyes, asking with his gaze for her to tell him what she refused to tell.

 

“I… I… you're a male…I” she began to explain but he sensed that she was lying. That was no longer the reason, he had a feeling that it hadn't been since the pond. The look in his golden eyes told her that.

 

“I don't want to tell you…” she sobbed out in silent whisper almost too low for Sesshoumaru to hear. “… I'm afraid.” She buried her head in her knees again and continued to cry. Sesshoumaru didn't know what she was afraid to tell him but at that very moment it didn't mater to him. Without realizing it… or more, without caring what his usual person felt for this sort of thing, he pulled her forward into his chest and cradled her with his one arm. Her sobbing intensified as she leaned her head on his chest. He was surprised that she didn't flinch, or retaliate from his actions; instead it seemed that despite her better judgment, she welcomed the contact.

 

“If you don't want to tell me… you don't need to.” Sesshoumaru found himself saying as he brushed his hand through her gleaming hair.

 

“I'm sorry” she breathed out with a muffled sob.

 

“Don't be” he whispered in her ear.

 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and leaned his head on the top of hers while she cried into his chest. He couldn't explain it but he didn't care. All he wanted to do right then was hold her hold her till the end of time. All thought left him as he held her there. The glossy touch of her hair beneath his fingers and her gentle sobbing was all he knew.

 

*a note from me, Araso, about Tsuyara. Though in this fic she's clumsy and soft and can't defend her self… her true character is nothing like this. She is a character in a book that I my self am writing called Clash of Destinies. A fantasy book… in truth Tsuyara is in a way… more like Sesshoumaru then what I make her out to be in this fic, cause when I was making her character up there was an Inuyasha calendar in front of me with a pic of Sesshoumaru on it and I think I subconsciously based her off him… >.> anyways, she's a fighter by heart and you don't want to piss her off. If you do shell warn you by flashing her claws in a menacing way. And she's not afraid of guys either. Though she still has the motherly kindness I show in the fic. But the reason I kept that stronger side of her out is because it would have messed with the story line. I use her and other characters in my book in other fics. So if you read them you would recognize her. I just felt I should let you guys know this little fact. ^_^*