InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bed of Lies ❯ Bed of Lies ( Chapter 1 )

Bed of Lies

By SFP

This is a repost of the original; it has now been beta-read by my very talented beta, BrokenSouledPoetess. Go read her works if you have not yet! (and even if you have read her stuff, you could go do it again. You know you want to . . . ^_^)

DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. The song, Bed of Lies, belongs to Matchbox 20, not me.

~One Shot~

I was young when I fell in love with my best friend but he was still in love with his first love. I loved him enough to give him up. I asked the other woman to join our circle of friends so they could be together again. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy and if she could make that happen then so be it. I didn’t want to be a selfish person. I tried to be better then that.

~no I would not sleep in this bed of lies,

So toss me out and turn in

And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes,

I’m marking it down to learning, I am~

I cannot truthfully say I never regretted my decision. Any time I would see them together, if he was not smiling, I regretted. It made me question my judgment, which was something I didn’t like to do. Who likes thinking they might have been wrong? That wasn’t even the worst of it though. . .

~don’t think that I can take another empty moment,

Don’t think that I can fake another hollow smile,

Its not enough just to be sorry,

Don’t think that I could take another talk about it.~

You do not know what pain is until you push the man you love into another woman’s arms. All the while smiling on the out side and crying on the inside. It seems as if all your friends want to do is talk about it, reminding you almost daily, how he should feel lucky to have you as a friend because of what you’ve done, what a soft hearted person and true romantic you are. Romantic? How is ripping your own soul apart, little by little, each day romantic?

~just like me you got needs and they’re only a whisper away,

And we softly surrender

To these lives that we’ve tendered away~

I was a fool to think that everything would be ok, that we could continue to just be friends with no thoughts to the ‘what ifs’ that would plague us in the back of our minds.

They got into a fight and he came to me. I was there for him just as any best friend should be. However, you see we were not just any best friends, we were so much more, and yet because of my decision we couldn’t be more then what we were. At least that’s what I thought until he kissed me on the lips. Something happened that should not have, something that made me regret, I’m still not sure if it was my decision or my love for him that I regretted at that point in time. Afterwards, he told me that he did in fact love me. He and I both felt terrible later, after the shock had worn off. Me more so than him I believe.

~no I would not sleep in this bed of lies,

So toss me out and turn in

And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes,

I’m marking it down to learning

I’m marking it down to learning, cause I am~

We didn’t talk about it passed agreeing that it was a mistake. We never even told her about it, but it was always there in the back of my mind. I felt used while he acted as if nothing happened at all. He went back to her and I went back to me, or I tried to at least.

~don’t wanna be the one who

turns the whole thing over,

Don’t wanna be somewhere where

I just don’t belong

Where it’s not enough just to be sorry~

I didn’t tell anyone else either. I simply couldn’t put him through such ridicule when he had already been scorned enough in his life for being born as he was. How would others treat him if they knew he had been unfaithful to his wife, a wife who was a priestess? I thought about it daily though, I really did. I think he did too. The thought of simply leaving everything behind came to me often. This wasn’t my home, and never could be now, no matter how much I tried to blend in to the background.

~don’t you know I feel the darkness closing in

Tried to be more then me

And I gave till it all went away

And we’ve only surrendered to the worst part of these winters we’ve made~

The more time that passed, the more it ate away at me. By then I had stopped feeling used and angry, yes I had been angry for a while, at her, at him, but more at myself then anyone else. Guilt really is an all-consuming thing. Sometimes it even ruins your life if you let it.

~no I would not sleep in this bed of lies,

So toss me out and turn in

And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes,

I’m marking it down to learning

I’m marking it down to learning, I am~

About two months later, they got into another fight. He came to me again and I didn’t even try to stop it. I could never deny him something he needed. I loved him. After, I told him I was going to leave, for good. He agreed that I should, that it was for the best. We would never be able to stop seeing each other if I stayed. We loved each other to much for me to be the second woman, and nether of us wanted to hurt her or each other any more.

~I am all that I’ll ever be

When you- lay your hands over me but don’t go weak on me now,

I know that it’s weak

But god help me I need this~

He went back to her. I went home.

~I will not sleep in this bed of lies

So toss me out and turn in

And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes

I’m marking it down to learning

I’m marking it down to learning, ‘cause I am.~

I went back to being me.