InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cooking With Sessho-Maru ❯ Ch 2: Always Hire People to get rid of the Evidence ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Cooking With Sessho-Maru

Disclaimer: Sueing me would be pointless since I have no money. I only have my dvds but you cannot have them. MINE!

Hello! Well, I got two reviews at MediaMiner (And from two of my friends that had influenced me to write this, not surprisingly.) And more at Fanfic.net. I might put BW in this fic since she reviewed and was sad/wanted to kill me since she wasn't in the last chapter. She also has my Shaman King book and won't give it back yet, so I have to make her happy. Yay! I got the new Yu Yu Hakusho dvd 'The Seven'. Really cool. I had to change my list of favorite characters around a little since Kido is sooooooo cool! Still love Kurama, hiei, and Fluffy though. (And Jin, Touya, Inu Yasha, Shishiwakamaru, Suzaku even though he died, and all those other bishies. Yes, I am insane). ^_^

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Me: Hello people and welcome to Cooking With Sessho-Maru! I have once again managed to kidnap Sesshie! *knife flies towards me again, but misses* Today we will be demonstrating how to properly use a sharp pointy object, why you should hire kitchen help if you can, and we will also have a guest star if BV can manage to knock her out and then get her here in time.... okay, so it's Martha Stewart. You probably saw that coming.

Random Audience Member (RAM): She's innocent, I tell you!

Amanda: Well, I say she's guilty, so she's guilty.

Fluffy: *is now on kitchen set* But she sells some really nice curtains.

All but RAM: O_O

RAM: ^_^

* Havoc breaks out as the audience members argue about whether or not Martha is guilty. Imagine Jerry Springer, just with Otakus and crazed Martha Stewart fans. O_O... I just scared myself imagining that....*

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Me: Well, now that BV has gotten everyone tied up with duct tape to stop the arguing, we can start the show. And our guest star is backstage, tied up... to a vacuum for some reason...

BV: Trust me, she won't be going anywhere... *Evil laughter* It's a good vacuum. ^_^

Fluffy: And if I don't want to start the show?

BV: *more evil laughter*

Me: Then I'll untie all of the fangirls and turn off the lasers. And I'll give them sharp pointy objects.

Fluffy: Fine then. Just don't turn off the lasers.

Me: ^_^

BW: *Comes in through a window* You didn't put me in your last chapter, so I'm here now!!! And you cannot make me leave! *Evil laughter* *Falls out window* (Yes, my friends are insane... and clumsy.)

Me: Okay... well let's start the show now.

Fluffy: Fine then. The proper way to use a knife... I don't feel like doing this!!! I'm just going to make chicken soup!

Me: *.......... * Grrr... Fine, but then you have to make enough for everyone. No one listens to me anyway...

Fluffy: Fine then. Just take a pot, pour in a can of chicken soup, poison it, and then cook. When it starts to boil, turn off the stove. *Carefully makes sure to turn off the stove this time and then hands out soup to fangirls, half of which actually start eating it* (Yes, lasers are off)

Half the fangirls: *Fall to ground dead*

Amanda: This proves that the human race is doomed...

Me: Yup.

Fluffy: Why aren't you dead yet?!

Me: Because we didn't eat any of the soup.

Fluffy: But she is. *Points at BV*

BV: *Is guzzling down bowls of soup* That is because I defy the laws of nature!!!

Amanda: No, it's because that's not soup... it's... Canola Oil... *turns green*

BV: Hmm... thought it tasted weird... still good though!

Me: Well, now we have to clean up this mess. Call the slave people!

Amanda: SLAVE PEOPLE!!!!!

*Our brothers and their little friends dispose of all the evidence*

BV: Why isn't Katie there with them? (Katie is her sister who's only a little younger then her)

Me: A) She throws things at you when she gets mad and B) She is nice and gave me a cool sticker. ^_^

BV: Darn. -_-;

Amanda: Now all of you slave people have to leave! Go! Shoo!

Siblings and their friends: *.........................*

Amanda: Look! A unicorn! *points out window and they all jump out*

Fluffy: Well, now that the mess has been taking care of and the audience has been cut down to only 400 people, I should.... *looks at to do list* Interview Martha Stewart!? Where!? Will I get a free curtain set?

Martha Stewart: *jumps out window, still attached to the vacuum.*

Fluffy: *Realizes that I never turned the lasers back on and jumps out window too*

Me: Damn. Now we have to kidnap him again....

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That chapter was shorter then the chapters I usually write, but that's because..... well, I don't know. It just was. In the next chapter I will kidnap Martha Stewart again and have a few other guest stars... and still no Katie.... not safe to put BV and Katie in the same room... And in case you haven't read my other story at MediaMiner, Amanda says that she hates anime. That should explain a few things that I might put in the next chapter. Until then, Ja Ne.