InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ daer diary ❯ Chapter 1

*disclaimer* I don't even own the socks I'm wearing…

 

 

Dear Dairy

 

I'm trying. I really am.

 

Nothing seems to go right anymore. After Inuyasha and I got married it's been hard to do anything. We were always so happy together. Now I'm not sure if i'm willing to go home.

 

We got into this through my mother. I'm not saying it's her fault but she recommended it. She was continuingly hinting that we would make the relationship better. Now that I think about it, I never should have asked for marriage advice from someone who divorced their high school sweet heart.

 

I never seem to use common sense.

 

Did I mention the reason things are going so bad? I was an idiot. I took it off. The rosary necklace. Now that I can't do anything about it, he just does whatever he feels like doing. I know your thinking that he has always done this but I've never seen him like this before… it's scary to go home… he just doesn't care about the fact that what he's doing is wrong.

 

I love him. I can't stop.

 

Sincerely, Kagome

 

~*~*~*~

 

I'm going crazy.

 

Kagome went for a walk and took that damn book again. Why does she take every excuse to leave me? She asked me to marry her; I did. She asks me to smile; I do. She asks me to love her; I do. Why does she come home with the fresh sent of tears every time she comes home? Why do I still make her cry?

 

It seems as though the only time were both happy is during sex, but now we seem to fuck less and less. I know I'm not a nymph or anything perverted like that, but she's avoiding me…Why?

 

I love kagome more than anything. I'm starting to wonder if she feels the same way…

 

~Inu-Yasha

 

~*~*~*~

 

Dear Dairy,

 

When I got home yesterday, Inuyasha was waiting for me. He kept asking where I had been and why it had taken so long. I apologized over and over but he wouldn't leave me alone. After awhile I couldn't speak. I could barely move. I'm not sure why, but I just collapsed. I just fell to the ground crying, sobbing. An unexpectedly high (for Inuyasha) voice cried my name.

 

The next thing I knew, I was in bed…alone. I really do love him, or at lest I think I do…

 

~kagome

 

~*~*~*~

 

She got home with the thick spent of liquor staining her breath. She mumbled “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” about five times before bursting out in tears. It's all my fault again. I call her name but she's passed out. Carrying her in my arms bridal style, I ponder over all the pain I put her through daily. Why do I have to be so cruel all the time?

 

I break down again. This marriage thing is too hard. In her time I'm stuck in this house all day. I opened my underwear drore and take out my pocket knife, the one kagome bought for me. I dragged my feet steadily into the bath-room. I turned on the shower full blast. On the highest temperature it will go. I drop my clothes a lay in the tub as it is slowly bombarded with water. With my teeth I open the knife. Quickly as ever, I dig it into my skin and pull, thus expanding the wound. With the shower on I'm not sure of I'm crying. I make several gashes into my skin before I close the blade. I watched my pain wash down the drain as my said wounds begin to heal. I fall asleep with the water pounding on my back.

 

~Inuyasha