InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dominating the Indomitable ❯ Shit for Brains ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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Chapter Ten

Shit for Brains
(Warning:  Google docs is shit and I hope I found all of its screw ups.  Please thank Periwinkle for an awesome beta job and for being a speed demon.  Also, please thank Neisha for her input as well.  My damaged brain needs all the help it can get.  You'll find this chapter more introspective than usual.  My action whore muse went on vacation and left me behind.)

What Inuyasha first thought to be dreams were, in fact, memories. his memories, but those of his beast, memories to which he hadn’t previously had access. oh, how he loved it, so much so that he wanted to clap the beast on its ever-loving back. he was very appreciative of what he had learned. he knew all of those blackouts and lost memories hadn’t been entirely due to alcohol as much as they had been to his beast’s baser protective instincts. Inuyasha chuckled inside his head. y the poor doctors who tried to touch him on the ass. one was getting a 'semen sample' except Kouga.  Up to this point, his beast had made sure of that. doctors and technicians who thought they could keep up their experiments were probably nothing more than red splatters on a wall somewhere in the underground maze. not, then he was locked up in a special room where even the doctors and nurses couldn’t get at him. he could definitely call his beast a friend when he was truly in need.The weird thing about it all was that, in his beast's memories, not once had Sesshoumaru been involved when he had been used as a guinea pig. now, Inuyasha had been certain that Sesshoumaru had been behind everything and had even taken part. couldn't have been more wrong.  There was one figure that stood out in all of his newly discovered memories—someone in a black robe and hood. would never forget that faceless figure, and he would get his revenge.The only times he had seen Sesshoumaru in his memories was when he had woken after all the shit. brother had been very attentive, even concerned. fact gave him food for thought and some amount of regret over his treatment of Sesshoumaru...and he would get that creepy asshole in the robe for all of his own accusations against a brother who had been nothing other than helpful. was his main mission in life now. wouldn’t restore everything he had lost, but hey, he would feel safer knowing the bastard in that spooky robe was at least six feet under and feeding worms. very thought made the hanyou chuckle.‘Yes, beastie boy, we’re going to be friends for a very long time,’ Inuyasha thought to himself. could feel the smirk on his face and the narrowing of his eyes. ‘Just as long as you behave yourself and recognize who the hell my friends are.’Inuyasha heard a pleased rumble. he could have petted the watchdog, he would have. was fairly certain that his beast had finally risen from its infancy and grown into something more.'Dunno why you finally joined with me; doesn't matter though. together now and we are going to kick some serious ass!' he thought gleefully. In fact, they already had kicked ass. a major fucking way. In his subconscious mind and with the clarity afforded by merging with his youkai beast, Inuyasha hunted down the vermin who'd tormented him, and his beast victoriously bathed the world in their blood.
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At Inuyasha's bedside, Kouga leaned back in the gray metal chair. out of his skull and anxious to see Inuyasha conscious, his eyes roamed the four drab walls of the hospital room. paint, the color of dull yellow bile - just before it turned clear when puking your guts out - lent the room an aging light, even with the sparse, overhead fluorescent lights flickering with the dirty flow of electricity from a power generator. Very few places were allowed electricity unless it was generated efficiently and without polluting the environment and atmosphere. the hospital was one of the few. a recent equipment failure caused an entire system breakdown and forced the hospital to resort to the old backup stored in a shed. wrinkled his nose. inside the room, he could smell the faint hint of fumes.He hated fluorescent lighting as well. just wasn't natural, and made dirt appear dirtier than it really was—not that there was any dirt in the room. from the yellowed paint and the white, scratched, marbled tile, the room was as sterile as it could get. he absolutely hated fluorescent lights. even made Inuyasha look like a dirty zombie. was so not cool.His eyes refocused on the bed in front of him. lay there, looking...flat. just didn't seem to be much left of the strong hanyou he had once known. was too thin, almost gaunt. didn't matter though. had faith in Inuyasha's stubborn will to live. Hell, the hanyou should've been dead a hundred times over. 'You beat them, Inuyasha. beat the bug, why can't you beat that other shit, too?' Inuyasha’s sleeping visage often held a smirk. sign of Inuyasha's normal demeanor somewhat lifted Kouga's battered spirit. When the hanyou dropped in on him a few weeks earlier, pointing a Mini Uzi at his face, Kouga hadn't really given all that much thought to his relationship with Inuyasha.  Now, sitting at Inuyasha’s bedside, it was his only focus. at four fugly walls for days on end would do that sort of thing to a person. The highly interesting details of Inuyasha's facial features could only hold his interest for so long, which led to pacing. this point, Kouga knew he could close his eyes, walk every inch of the room and never smash his nose. relationships and feelings were not his forte.  Nevertheless, his thoughts ran the gamut of everything concerning the betrayal of his newer recruits to Kamylla’s motives.  Inuyasha was just as important, which left Kouga with the need to know more than what his gut instincts were telling him.

So far, he had gone over every minute detail—everything from the hunt for the shards up to the present moment.
 The corners of Kouga's lips quirked up when he remembered the fun he’d had while tormenting Inuyasha during their rivalry over Kagome.  Kagome thwart Inuyasha's attempts to keep him away from her had been the highlight of his day. small spats between the three of them had kept at bay the anxiety over Naraku. the time Naraku had been defeated, he and Inuyasha had become comrades. Back then, Kouga hadn't given a thought to his and Inuyasha’s relationship. he could honestly say that he had been Inuyasha's friend. Nowhere in his memory could he find a time that they had been true enemies. there was the incident when Kagura had tricked him into believing that Inuyasha had killed most of his pack. the bitch had given away her plot and Inuyasha had been exonerated before hatred for the half-demon could dig its roots deep within his heart. his initial rage, he had nearly killed Inuyasha over that fiasco.  Even after beating Inuyasha senseless, the damn half-breed had saved his tail. the process of fighting Naraku’s minions, Inuyasha had revealed his human night to the enemy. 'Dumbass. the hell had possessed Inuyasha to do something so dangerous? don't get that one.'Regardless of what circumstances had thrown them together, or what trials and secrets they'd shared, a wolf didn't hand over his woman just because a friend needed her more.  Inuyasha had been so devastated by Kikyou's death that his vitality had simply ceased to exist, almost as though he'd given up. been no life in him and Kouga hadn't been able to stand it, so he had left Kagome to take care of the mutt. fucked up was that? could have easily kicked Inuyasha's ass and run off with Kagome instead. Right now, Kouga wanted to bash his own head into the wall. had cared more for the hanyou than he had for Kagome and he had been too stupid to realize it. hat a fuck-up he had been all these centuries. had always thought that it had been his love for Kagome that had kept him from ever mating. he knew better.  He knew. It had been Inuyasha all along. He had loved Inuyasha, loved him more than he had ever loved Kagome. Now that he had finally figured it all out, Inuyasha was dying.  Dying! That Inuyasha was even capable of dying was almost petrifying. with endless delays in saving Inuyasha and filled with regret over his worn thoughts and belated realizations, Kouga growled at the sense ofand rubbed his forehead. relief in distraction, he turned his eyes back to Inuyasha. 'Tell me what a moron I am, Inuyasha, and I'll make sure you live forever, just like in all the fairytale stories, just like the strongest youkai.'Inuyasha's incredibly sharp, overgrown fangs just barely overlapped his bottom lip. sure hoped that problem resolved itself. certainly didn't want to become lost in the moment, forget, kiss fang, and end up shredding his lips. was no doubt that he was going to suck Inuyasha's lips right off of his face—as soon as he persuaded the stubborn hanyou to join him as his mate.Since the fiasco that had injured Inuyasha, the hanyou had continued making that weird, creepy chuckle that came close to raising the hairs on Kouga’s arms to rise. Yet, more and more, the youkai-marked features would sometimes relax. whole, grueling days Inuyasha had been knocked out with drugs, and even with Tetsusaiga lying across his arm, the lavender markings were solidly plastered on his cheeks and those incredibly sharp fangs occasionally gnashed during a silent snarl. ‘At least he’s having fun in his dreams,’ Kouga thought darkly, irritated that he hadn't been able to sleep. he had been wracking his brain over thoughts of nothing but Inuyasha, himself, and their predicament.And the worst part? wasn't allowed to touch Inuyasha; all because of that stupid superbug. many days surrounded by four walls in such close proximity to his luscious, puppy-eared lover, and he hadn't once been able to touch him. wanted to touch the half-breed that was shackled to the bed, wake him and see those sunlit eyes. course, he wanted to do much more than that, such as squeeze that supple ass, suck on those cute little nipples, and...contrary to his desires, he had been unequivocally forbidden to touch. that he would have done any of that other stuff anyway.Kouga groaned and shifted in his seat. thoughts got him nowhere except hard and aching. sucked donkey’s balls. least they could do was let him pet those puppy ears. it was a well-known fact that positive touch had healing properties."Assholes," Kouga grumbled and scowled.Apparently, the yellow stain on Inuyasha’s hand was the residue of one used in lab experiments of a particular type - the kind that required hazmat suits. ran a calloused hand over his face, his vigil having left him bored, in need of a bath, and antsy to do something, anything, especially if it would give his mind and body some kind of break. as how that wasn't going to happen any time soon, Kouga's mind began to meander once more.'Does Inuyasha know about the qualities of the fluids he's gotten into? he having visions of dismembered bodies, disintegrating under his touch?' wondered. 'If the half-breed hadn’t truly gone insane and had known what had been on his skin, Kouga knew that he would have been reveling in melting corpses. Inuyasha's no scientist, but with his knowledge of explosive devices, who knows what else could be in his head? Living with Sesshoumaru, he's had to be in the thick of things and must know quite a bit about everything that happened and about what's going on now. dunno. might not have any clue that he even had that shit on him.'With Inuyasha's strike on Sesshoumaru, the DaiYoukai's vitals were gradually declining, his organs literally liquefying, the result of toxins from some bugs' leftover shit. something like that. wasn't sure exactly how it worked. had been so worried about Inuyasha that he had only half listened to the doctors. even Sesshoumaru's predicament had distracted him.‘Who would have thought? nasty bug so small that it’s invisible, took the bastard down,’ Kouga mused. 'As amusing as that is, no one should go through that kind of death.'Kouga’s brows drew down into a frown. of the older youkai just didn’t get it. t, or they simply refused to care. they didn’t stop acting like humans, they were going to destroy their world the same way the humans had done, and Sesshoumaru was the only one strong enough to stop them all.
Currently, Sesshoumaru had to clean up the humans' mess and prevent them from rebuilding all those different devices that had combined in some unplanned cluster-fuck that had nearly destroyed the entire world. Sesshoumaru could be a pain in the ass, but that didn’t mean he should have to die a slow and torturous death. DaiYoukai’s ultimate demise would also mean that many of the lands would end up lost in power struggles. ‘Neurotic, under-sexed bastards, always striving for more...They all need a tit stuck in their mouth to keep them happy. they wouldn’t care if they had power or not, as long as they had some good lovin',' Kouga thought, disgusted with the stupidity of those who allowed their greed to run rampant. That was Kouga’s theory anyway. the basic needs and everything else would take care of itself. they had to do was destroy the old notion that possessions and power could replace love, affection, touch, family, and bonding. was what everyone needed. convincing the old world geezers that deep affection and physical intimacy were key
to getting rid of the destructive desire for possessions and power. Aggression had always been the outcome of denying basic needs and too many humans and some youkai had grown up in a world that brainwashed them to think that touch was a filthy result of mental illness. wasn't even going to try changing their perceptions. many people had been sent to their graves for society's notions that proclaimed; "Oh my god! one will destroy the world as we know it because he says that simple things like kindness, affection, love and peace will make everyone happy! him up or we can't sell the stuff the chemical poisons we sell as happiness inducers!"‘Fucking retards. that’s exactly what my ideas of change would do; destroy the old system, destroy the all-consuming need for more power because someone finally loves your fugly ass. would destroy the desire to compete. and good riddance, I say. each other off, but you can't take my world with you.’Kouga sighed while his eyes rested sadly on his white-haired, angel-turned-devil. bad as the world had treated him, how had Inuyasha turned out so well? had given him a tough time and had made him jaded, but he hadn't turned out to be a greedy, power-mongering bastard. he had been lucky enough to have a very affectionate mother. was a nice thought that something like that could carry Inuyasha so far, but, Kouga was certain that there was simply something exceptional about the half-breed. Kouga reached out to caress Inuyasha’s arm then pulled back. superbugs. thunderous scowl lit his face. 'If Sesshoumaru is so fucked up, then why isn’t Inuyasha? that I want Inuyasha to die...' It was a mystery that the doctors were attempting to solve. an epiphany clobbered the dense wolf youkai over the head. eyebrows shot up and he jumped out of his chair.“That’s it! Inuyasha’s blood is special because he's hanyou. fucking damn! ’s why they wanted him. shit! were trying to find a cure for something and it’s in his blood!"A rattling noise came from the direction of Inuyasha’s bed, interrupting his epiphany. wasn’t moving, so it couldn't have been him. happened again, and there was no explanation. there was a crash under the bed. Kouga whipped his claws out and knelt, ready to shred anything that might have come to take Inuyasha away.“Ow, ow, ow,” whined the gray-eyed wolf whose head had met the floor panel then back from the metal construct of the bed.“Ginta?” Kouga asked with eyes widened in surprise.“Yes, Sir! we found this tunnel! ” pointed to the panel that now rested on his head.Kouga could have rolled his eyes. were his men continually pointing out the obvious?“This is the hospital, right? jerks are like moles. have tunnels everywhere! ’d swear they have a mole army working for them,” Ginta commented as he fruitlessly struggled to drag himself out. “Keep your skirt on, Ginta, and let me unlatch and move this bed. anyone is behind you, send them away. area is quarantined,” Kouga instructed as he stood.“Hey, Hakkaku! out of here! area is quarantined, man,” Ginta yelled down the shaft.“Aw, man,” Kouga heard Hakkaku complain.“Do it, Hakkaku. everyone out of this area!” Kouga commanded with a shout to the floor.“Yes, Sir!” Hakkaku’s voice echoed from a short distance away. “Now, Hakkaku!”“Yes, boss! ’m gone, boss!”Kouga sighed. shouldn’t use his men as convenient targets for venting his stress. “Come on, Ginta,” Kouga grunted as he slid the bed aside.“So, what’s the quarantine all about?” Ginta asked as he stood and dusted himself off.“Help me get this bed back into place and secured to the wall first.”“Sure thing, boss.” grabbed one side of the bed and began pulling it while Kouga pushed.“This isn’t a time to relax, Ginta. ’s a bad bug in here and you’re lookin’ at the source,” Kouga finally explained.“Oooh. heard it was Inuyasha, but no one's been telling us much.”“Yeah, ‘Oooh'", Kouga snorted sarcastically. "…and I don't want news of anything aboutto leak to our enemies.” "Yeah. put him over this trap door?" Ginta asked, wondering if there'd been a plan to steal him again.A growling snarl rose from the bed when it was jostled and Kouga smirked. “Didn’t like that, did you?” he asked Inuyasha."Dunno, Ginta. I sure as hell am gonna find out," Kouga growled.“Why’s he restrained like that? mean, he’s unconscious.”Kouga snorted. “You haven’t seen him when his youkai takes over. nut-job. his sword here to contain it, but look at his face. ain’t working.”"Cool! his claws sure are long," Ginta commented, reaching out to touch Inuyasha only to have Kouga smack his hand away."Are you retarded!? could get whatever is on him! Inuyasha wasn't even completely conscious and he practically gutted Sesshoumaru.""Sorry, sorry..."Ginta was cut off by the door swinging open. doctor and two orderlies entered. three had their black hair shorn nearly to the scalp and wore thick rubber gloves."Where the hell did he come from?" the doctor asked, pointing to Ginta with a clearly annoyed expression."My man found a tunnel beneath this clinic, which I'm sure has been used by the enemy," Kouga accused. and don't think that everyone in this clinic isn't going to be under suspicion of treason. your name?" Kouga asked, not seeing a visible nametag."Chuen, Doctor Chuen," the doctor grumbled, waved off the two orderlies and set about checking Inuyasha's vitals. he did that, the silent, burly orderlies began unhooking the bed from the walls."What are you doing?" Kouga asked suspiciously. wanna know who put Inuyasha in this room!"Chuen gave him a sideways look. you must know, a transfusion may give Lord Sesshoumaru the boost he needs to combat that bug.""Yeah, I ‘must’ know," Kouga retorted, standing ramrod straight and crossing his arms. tipped his head down slightly and glared threateningly at Chuen. is mine and you ain't doing shit without my permission, especially with all these enemy moles running around. answer my question. put Inuyasha in this room?"While it was true that Kouga was the ultimate authority over the physician, he wasn't accustomed to having his own authority over his patients removed from him, so he turned to Kouga with a narrow-eyed glare, his steely eyes daring Kouga to second-guess him."First, I don't know who put him in here, but believe what you want. now, there are more important things to think about. have two choices—trust me and possibly save Lord Sesshoumaru's life, or deny the treatment and remove all chances currently available to him. quickly or lose the opportunity," the doctor stated with cold efficiency.Kouga studied the doctor, looking for any signs of deceit. putting aside the question of Inuyasha's placement, he looked for reassurances. he could hear Ginta behind him, already attempting to sniff out whomever he had smelled in the tunnel. "Promise me that this isn't going to negatively affect Inuyasha's recovery.""The chance is very slim. has replenished his blood and his wounds are healing. will not be a significant drain on his resources. also won't be in direct contact with Lord Sesshoumaru and there won't be any mixing of Lord Sesshoumaru's blood within his body," the doctor stated with confidence.'A slim chance...it's still a chance that the results could be bad." shifted his gaze to Inuyasha, concern permeating his features. 'Screw them.' pushed his way between the doctor and an orderly.Smoothing the mussed bangs away from Inuyasha's face, he ran his thumb over the lavender markings."Don't tou.." Chuen began."Shut up. touch him if I want," Kouga spat and glared at the doctor.Turning back to Inuyasha, he tenderly stroked the fuzzy white ears and was beyond pleased when Inuyasha seemed to nudge his head in the direction of Kouga's hand."You're one tough fucker, Inuyasha, and I know you can do this. you fuck it up, I'll kick your lovely white ass," Kouga murmured with a smirk. ran his hand over Inuyasha's shoulder and down his arm, then squeezed the hand that wasn't covered in yellow stains. He stepped back and turned to the Chuen. 'm coming with you." Determination gleamed in Kouga's eyes and Chuen knew when he had no choice. just stay out of the way."Kouga nodded, satisfied that the doctor hadn't given him any shit. looked back at Ginta. the bastards and watch them," he whispered."Already there, boss," Ginta murmured, then lagged behind as Inuyasha was wheeled out with Kouga and the doctor following.
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Forced to compact himself against a small space of empty, faded blue wall, Kouga grumbled internally.  That damn mask he wore itched like mad and it would be awhile before he could remove it. room was small and stifling, considering it contained himself, the doctor, two beds, and at least three nurses doubling as orderlies in the event of a violent surprise."How long is this going to take?" he grumbled as he watched blood flowing through the tube that seemed rather narrow to him.Chuen gave him an annoyed look, but answered anyway. don't know how Lord Sesshoumaru will react to Inuyasha's blood, so we have used a smaller line to slow the process."Kouga waited a few seconds for a more definitive answer before pestering the doctor again. "So...how long will it take?"Doctor Chuen sighed and wished he could throw out the annoying wolf. will take as long as it takes," he said, re-taping the clamp onto Sesshoumaru's index finger.Machines beeped and hissed while Kouga kept an eye on Inuyasha. pallor hadn't changed and neither had the full youkai traits. took that as a good sign. on the other hand, looked like shit. didn't take a machine to tell Kouga that the seemingly invincible youkai was having trouble. umaru was unconscious, white as a sheet, and starting to look a little gray around the edges, particularly under the eyes. beds of his nails were white as well.'It's a wonder the doc can even get a pulse; bastard looks dead already.'Long, long minutes Kouga anxiously waited to get Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru. line going to Sesshoumaru's arm was so thin that he wondered just how any blood was getting through it at all. again, he wasn't a doctor and the needle itself was fairly large. shuddered. hated needles—hated them. were worse than Ayame's leaf weapons. least her leaves were so sharp that you didn't even know you'd been sliced until well after it had been done. yeah, he had been on the receiving end of the redhead's wrath."Hey doc! got a rise," one of the male nurses practically shouted, pointing to a monitor hooked to Sesshoumaru, and handing Chuen the long strip of paper that rolled out the recording of the device."Shut up." words were quietly hissed from Inuyasha's bed and Kouga leapt to Inuyasha's bedside, only to be shoved back against the wall by one of the other males.Chuen ran around to the right side of Inuyasha's bed, which was elevated. he asked and lightly tapped the half-demon’s sunken cheek."I kill you...die, bastard," Inuyasha slurred without opening his eyes then made a poor attempt to yank on his restraints.The orderlies responded by preparing for an attack when Kouga unceremoniously shoved one them out of the way. stop threatening my people," Kouga demanded, then lightly cuffed Inuyasha upside the head. but he was glad to see some kind of life in the thin frame that had lain so still for so long."Ow, wolf shit!" Inuyasha muttered and slightly shifted one eye open, though it didn't appear to be seeing anything."Yeah, it's me," Kouga said with a grin, deeply relieved. reached down and pulled up the partially opened eyelid. dog breath?"Once Kouga let go of his eyelid, Inuyasha managed to blink both eyes half way open, revealing a slight red tint. they go? didn't kill my prey did you?" Inuyasha rasped."Nah. nothing left but bloody chunks," Kouga replied and grinned wider.Doctor Chuen was merely grateful that the hanyou hadn't gone on a rampage. took the opportunity afforded by the distraction Kouga provided and started checking Inuyasha's vitals."Where am I? going on?" Inuyasha asked when he glanced around and noticed he was in the hospital with men in white coats. heart rate shot up and his markings grew darker."Calm him down," Chuen ordered as he went to check Sesshoumaru."You're in my hospital now," Kouga replied softly. brother is in some trouble and you're helping him out. e?" pointed to the side and watched as Inuyasha turned his head to the left."What happened to him?" Inuyasha asked, turning back to look at Kouga. no answer was immediately forthcoming and Kouga seemed to be dawdling, he asked again. the hell happened to do that to the asshole?""Um, well...you were kinda out of it when we got you here...and...you woke up long enough to skewer him," Kouga said a bit nervously. knew that Inuyasha might take it badly, considering his youkai had been in control."I don't remember," Inuyasha said with a frown."You were pretty out of it, blood loss and all that. you had some kind of bug on the hand you shoved through his gut and it got him.""Bug? mean a super bug? get my hands the fuck out of these cuffs," he growled, yanking his wrists that were chained to the rails. thoughts momentarily distracted him while Kouga reached to release him. 'Hope I didn't hurt any of Kouga's men. don't remember anything after coming out of that place. youkai would know better now.' A surge of confidence rose in Inuyasha. 'No, my youkai wouldn't have done that, not now.'"Not a good idea," one of the orderlies interjected and tried to stop Kouga."Shut up," both Inuyasha and Kouga told him while Kouga smacked his hands away."Yeah, a superbug," Kouga finally answered as he unbuckled Inuyasha's hands and feet. got it on you while trashing that place where you were imprisoned, but it doesn't seem to have affected you, only Sesshoumaru. far, no one else has been infected either," Kouga said as the last buckle was unhooked."Damn lucky, too. must transmit through fluids," Chuen added."Heh, revenge for that time he gutted me and used his poison," Inuyasha said with a grin then frowned.  "He gonna be alright?"Kouga shrugged, but Chuen answered. you're truly immune, this blood transfusion might put him on the right track, but we don't know yet."Inuyasha rose up and grunted from the twinges of pain coming from his body."Whoa, you aren't healed yet," Kouga admonished and gently shoved him back down onto the bed."What the hell happened?" Inuyasha asked with a grimace."You just about had your shoulder blown off by a gun. other shots got you, too. and Sesshoumaru had to stuff your guts back into your belly," Kouga informed him with a scowl. healing, but you're being slow as fuck about it.""Fuck you," Inuyasha swore when he rolled both shoulders, causing pain to lance through his shoulder. fuck!""Cut it out. don't want you passing out again. already waited three days for your weak ass to wake up!" Kouga griped, trying his best to hide his concern.Inuyasha's eyes widened. days!? days and I'm still like this?"Kouga scowled at him. so it'll probably take at least three more before you can even leave this hospital, not that you'll be allowed. under quarantine."Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut and brought his arm up to pinch the bridge of his nose, but had his arm gently pushed back to the bed. he looked down, he realized it was the arm with the needle in it. sighed and stared at the ceiling, wondering how he was going to put up with numerous days in a room that reminded him so much of his torment."Get used to it. been staring at these four walls for three days. Kouga commented when he saw Inuyasha’s frustrated gaze targeting the ceiling.Inuyasha slid his eyes over to Kouga. stayed with me...the whole time?" Inuyasha asked quietly. wasn't sure why he wanted to hear a 'yes', but he did. couldn't be good because, well, he wasn't gay and he definitely wasn't a sissy girl. shouldn't be wanting some guy to have stuck around, staring at him with lovesick eyes.Kouga's eyes softened and he gave Inuyasha a crooked smile. have you croakin' on me, right?"As he stared at Kouga, Inuyasha couldn't think of a single thing to say. when Kouga gazed at him with that look, the one he had just pictured in his head. would have expected to be alone, but he liked this much better. he really, really shouldn't. 'The doc's neutered me. sure of it. would explain why I'm thinking like a fucking pussy!' Inuyasha thought, mortified at the possibility of losing his balls. barely resisted the urge to reach down between his legs just to make sure they were still there. Seeing Inuyasha's confusion, Kouga glanced around the room to see that most of the others were busy monitoring Sesshoumaru.  leaned down close to Inuyasha's fuzzy ear, which flicked under his breath. the twitching after so many days of barely-there movement, was reassuring. "I care, okay? lot," Kouga whispered. 'How long is it going to take for you to see that?'There wasn't much Inuyasha could say to that. confused him on so many levels. Kouga was the only person he had felt he could trust to come for him when he had been captured. had actually wanted Kouga to come for him. stared at the wolf, wanting to say something, anything that wouldn't leave Kouga feeling left out in the cold. didn't want to sound gay, but he had to say something.Then his mind hit on something."Keh, I know you're a wimpy wolf and all, but I knew you'd come for me." didn't sound too sissified. smirked up at Kouga. wolf had already sat back up after whispering in his ear, but his arms were crossed over the rail.Kouga actually smiled at that. was good to know that he had been the one Inuyasha had been thinking about. his arms and puffing out his chest in pleased pride, he decided to let Inuyasha in on a couple of things."When we finally found a way to get to you, you came out of that tunnel, hell-bent on kicking ass. the looks of things, you had it pretty well under control. until they pulled out their guns. were something else."Inuyasha's eyes brightened. remember most of it. bastards deserved everything they got and more. just can't remember what happened after I got out.""Probably because you got shot full of holes and went into shock," Kouga suggested."Probably," Inuyasha agreed. know, I have all of my youkai's memories now." watched to see how Kouga would react to that tidbit."Seriously?" Kouga asked with wide-eyes.Inuyasha nodded. and I didn't go crazy. I did take out a lot of people and normally I wouldn't do that. just...they went too far and I agreed with my youkai side. we got justice. revenge. learning that there's a difference. because it's violent, doesn't mean it isn't deserved.""You did go pretty soft there for awhile," Kouga replied and hoped Inuyasha wouldn't take offense by believing he was implying a weakness. happened to you and I really think you'd just seen too much death. couldn't handle anyone getting hurt anymore, even if they did do wrong. let them get away with all kinds of shit."Kouga stopped when Inuyasha looked away with lips turned down at the corners."I know," Inuyasha said quietly then his lips thinned into a tight line. thought they would have learned that maybe...I..." sighed and gave up explaining himself and that's when he felt a hand on his arm."You don't have to explain to me. more human than you want to be and can't help it."Inuyasha nodded. had tried so hard to balance what he knew to be correct with the human compassion that ran in his veins. hadn't worked and he let things slide, pleading the case for humans, even for youkai - anyone who had been destructive. had believed they could change. not. or his youkai had given him an entirely new view. looked back at Kouga."Survival of the fittest, protect and defend your own, don't let the few rule you," he stated simply,those who try, kill."Kouga nodded in agreement. alright to protect the weak, take care of the infirm, but don't give away the power to protect you and yours or you won't survive."Inuyasha nodded. soft...it only breeds contempt and power grabs, even among the weak and cowardly.""Took you long enough," Kouga said with a smirk."Keh, I always survive," Inuyasha retorted.Kouga sighed and looked sadly at Inuyasha and wondered if he’d have to cuff him after this. the way things are going. didn't you tell me you were dying?"That drew the attention of the doctor who hadn't truly been eavesdropping, but it was a bit difficult to ignore their conversation. one had mentioned this to him. Inuyasha's blood had shown deterioration, however, he was hanyou, something rarely seen anymore.Inuyasha scowled at Kouga. I'm not!”
"Don't lie to me, Inuyasha, and don't think I haven't noticed how weak you've been. checked it out and you are dying," Kouga replied while attempting to hold onto his patience."Yeah, yeah. Asshole probably told you that, but it ain't true," Inuyasha insisted and glared at his unconscious brother."Just stop it, Inuyasha. can deny it all you like, but we both know what's happening. is a cure though." hoped this would get Inuyasha's attention, but all it got him was a scowl and a low growl."I can heal all on my own—without a mate." glared up at Kouga, daring him to say anything."Oh yeah, dog breath? ain't doing so fine now! has been three days! you haven't healed near as much as you should have. d don't think I didn't see the way your actions are stunted, or the blood and water from your nose when you turned human!" Kouga ranted, completely ignoring the fact that Inuyasha had already known what needed done in order for him to have a chance at survival.At this, the doctor walked around to stand next to Kouga. this all about?""This stupid...""Shut up!" Inuyasha shouted."No!" Kouga shouted back. idiot got hit, head-on, with one of those human's frequency weapons and won't admit that he's dying because of it."The doctor looked incredulously at Kouga then at Inuyasha. long has it been?""How long, Inuyasha?" Kouga asked, glaring at the hanyou, but Inuyasha refused to respond.Kouga turned back to the Chuen. was the Moura mine incident."Chuen was shocked. should be dead.""His father was a Daiyoukai," Kouga informed the doctor then pointed to Sesshoumaru. mother was the human.""Still..." eyed Inuyasha and muttered to himself. it wasn't just the treatment by his captors that has put him in this condition.""I'm right here," Inuyasha grumbled and tried to cross his arms, but the IV got in the way."Yeah, for now. Sesshoumaru has insisted that I mate you or he's gonna force you to mate him," Kouga bluntly stated."Fuck no! Inuyasha yelled and yanked the needle out of his arm then attempted to jump from the bed.Kouga didn't have time to consider that he had just been rejected and found himself, the doctor, and another orderly piling on top of Inuyasha in order to restrain him."Get off! am not mating Sesshoumaru! the fuck off me," Inuyasha howled as he fought the pain of struggling against the three full-blooded youkai."Inuyasha! it! going to re-open your wounds!" Kouga shouted. you hear me? don't have to mate Sesshoumaru. hear? don't have to!"Inuyasha grunted as he strained against the other males. don't care. not gonna tell me what to do with my life!"Kouga could tell that Inuyasha was weakening and hoped he could get through the hanyou's thick skull before they ended up having to tie him down. we have to make choices. least you have a choice, Inuyasha. got me, unless you want to die."Inuyasha subsided and panted from the exertion of fighting the others. pain was too much and he squeezed his eyes shut while a very ticked off Chuen checked the now bloody bandage."Maybe he wants to die," Chuen accused, glaring at Inuyasha.Kouga blinked in surprise and stared down at the flushed hanyou whose eyes were heavy-lidded and starting to close. he mentioned it, he hadn't really thought it possible. 'Could that really be why he's refusing a mate? ..why would he do that?"Chuen looked up at Kouga. Sesshoumaru is stabilizing, for the moment. sending Inuyasha back to his room. some sense into him." With that, the doctor turned to a scared, pale, and sweaty nurse, holding a bloody IV line. rolled his eyes and took it from the other male. wasn't as though they weren't protected."Get out," he ordered the nurse then sneered at the hasty retreat. Kouga ignored everything that didn't have to do with Inuyasha. atching the hanyou wince as his bandage was being changed did not make Kouga a happy camper. would never show pain unless it was pretty damn bad. was a major relief to see the bandages replaced and the sheets and blanket pulled back over Inuyasha's frail form. it all, Inuyasha had remained silent and seemingly resigned. the cute, fuzzy ears were flopped down, no twitching at all. didn't like that. wasn't natural for the blustering, energetic hanyou. ears should be perked up and twitching.Once everything was set to go, Inuyasha let out an audible sigh and appeared to shrink even further into the bed, as though he wanted to disappear. was a very worried Kouga that followed behind as the bed was wheeled down the hall and back to the room with the trapdoor."No way," Kouga growled when the orderlies slowed. putting him in a different room."The annoyed stares he received had absolutely no effect whatsoever. the males didn't get that Kouga outranked the doctors. on with it," Kouga demanded and flapped his hands, hastily ushering them out of the room.Watching Inuyasha was bad enough without being left to contemplate the drab off-white walls of the hall. could only hope that the new room would be something that might positively influence Inuyasha's mind. amount of help with the coming conversation would be appreciated.Much to Kouga's relief, Inuyasha was put at the back end of the building where the newer section had been built with a more natural construction. amount to which Inuyasha preferred a natural environment, particularly one that included trees, was no secret to Kouga. had always been obsessed with trees. new room with all of its wood should cheer up the hanyou."He's all yours," one of the orderlies stated after the bed was shoved up against the wall and to the left of the door."Fine, get out," Kouga impatiently stated. soon as they had left, he started in on Inuyasha despite the fact that Inuyasha's eyes were closed and he looked as though he were asleep."Listen, mutt, I don't like where you're taking this," he said as he pulled up the room's only chair. was kind of annoying to be ignored, but Inuyasha hadn't given any indication that he was listening.  "Just because Sesshoumaru was the one to tell you how to heal yourself doesn't mean he's controlling your life. can't help it if you went and got yourself into this mess. should feel grateful that he's trying to get you out of it."At that, Inuyasha did open his eyes. tired," he murmured."I don't give a shit. settling this now!""Not that kind of tired," Inuyasha said and once again closed his eyes."Oh...well, what are you talking about then?" Kouga asked and leaned back, crossing his arms."I'm just...tired of fighting, that's all," he said with a sigh and laid his left arm over his eyes."Well, take a damn vacation! the gods, Inuyasha. don't have to fight all the time.""You are so fucking dense!" Inuyasha shouted and tried to sit up to glare at Kouga. fuck!""And you're a fucking idiot! doing that." stood and stared down at Inuyasha. I'll take you anywhere you want to go where there's no fighting, no humans, nothing to get on your nerves.""Kouga...you just don't get it. don't want to deal with this world anymore. don't care what happens to me because I'm through with it. you hear me? am done!" turned his head away. done," he whispered.If Inuyasha meant what Kouga thought he had meant, he just couldn't reconcile those words with the Inuyasha he knew. Inuyasha's brain had gone on the fritz because of the damage to his system. 'That's gotta be it. I've gotta do is give him a reason good enough to put the fight back into him, or to at least try.'"Okay...I hear you. not going to go out and kill yourself, but you don't intend to get any better.  Right?" hoped he was wrong, but he doubted it, until Inuyasha simply nodded. couldn't decide whether he should be pissed off or aghast. "Hell, Inuyasha. it ever occur to you that you're just worn down? if you got better, you wouldn't feel this way anymore? mean, you've worked so hard. deserve to enjoy the progress we've made, don't you think? on, Inuyasha, give it a chance...give me a chance."Inuyasha pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. like being with you, Kouga. really do, but...I'd already made up my mind. just confused me for awhile. I almost killed Sesshoumaru.  And, you know what? didn't have a thing to do with what
happened to me. that time, I accused him of shit he didn't do. is just so complicated. not made for all this intrigue.  Everything is just going to happen all over again and I don't want to see it. enough of the population learned their lesson. I did was for nothing, nothing at all.""That's not true, Inuyasha. know it's not." sat back down, propped his elbow on the guardrail, and set his chin in the palm of his hand. Wrapping his left hand around Inuyasha's right, he stared directly into Inuyasha's angry, golden gaze. right about one thing; you're tired. because you're sick. seen civilizations rise and fall. know that destruction comes and there's always the rebuilding afterward. know. last one was just particularly bad. can't give up though. it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have so many priestesses and youkai working together. them, the skies wouldn't have improved so much. still be waiting. taking awhile, but they're purifying the water, too. you, most of the humans would have been slaughtered already. so much progress. You should be proud and enjoying it. on...""Don't do this to me, Kouga. too fucking tired, too fucked up to care," Inuyasha stated without inflection."But I don't want you to go," Kouga murmured. my mate and save yourself. never wanted anyone as much as I want you."Inuyasha chuckled at that. even Kagome?""Apples and oranges, Inuyasha. try to change the subject. I so bad?""It's not you, Kouga. me. just don't feel like trying anymore.""You're just being stubborn, dog breath," Kouga huffed. stupid, too. always knew you were a moron."Kouga earned himself a glare for that one. his reasoning so far had been an utter failure.  There had to be some way to make Inuyasha want to stay. eyes drifted to the sun shining through the window. 'What always motivates him the most? getting pissed off. could work, maybe. does he hate the most? there's the implication that he's weak. finitely doesn't like that. there's his mother. absolutely hates anyone mentioning her. now, shit-for-brains.'
"I get it," Kouga said, propping his elbow on the railing, his chin in his hand, and an eyebrow cocked."Would you shut up so I can sleep," Inuyasha muttered, cracking open an eye. had almost drifted off before Kouga had decided to open his mouth again."I always knew you were weak. know you were this bad though. bet your mother is very disappointed, not to mention your father."Kouga's smirk was knocked right off of his face by a fist to the jaw that sent him tumbling backward and out of his chair. he was ass-over-head and scrunched against the wall, he heard a hiss and a groan. That didn't stop the grin from blooming across his face.



*Disclaimer*

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz.  I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to.  My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.