InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Don't go ❯ What it's like ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Last time: She had no idea what awaited her the next day…
Kagome walked right through the open door to find Miroku and Sango cooking dinner.Good for her, she was kind of hungry from all that walking- she had been out all day.
“Hey guys! “ Kagome said, trying to be cheerful.
‘I don’t want to put everyone in a bad mood…’
Miroku nodded without meeting her gaze and Sango looked up from the pot of stew she was stirring.
“Feeling any better?”
“As good as I can feel right now….” Kagome sat down on the floor beside her.
“ I know its hard Kagome, but It will all be fine soon.” Sango had a look of uncertainty as she spoke and Kagome picked up on it right away.
“You don’t have to say it just to make me feel better Sango. Say what you mean.”
Kagome gave her the most honest look that seemed to silence her friend for a bit.
“Alright…” Sango said not even averting her gaze from the boiling stew.
‘Nobody wants empty promises’
“ It should be ready pretty soon.” Was all she could manage to say. Miroku didn’t even speak and just turned to leave the hut. He pushed open the now-fixed bamboo drape across the door but stopped when he heard Sango ask where he was going. Miroku stared outside, taking in the setting sun and the warmth carried with the evening’s wind.
“I’m going on a walk, I’m not that hungry so don’t wait up for me.” After Sango’s sharp nod he left, leaving the two girls alone.
She couldn’t get it off of her mind, the fact that Kagome would be leaving forever angered her, yet she became repulsed as well at her own selfishness. Sango believed she would be inconsiderate to Kagome’s safety if she kept her here for personal reason.
As her thoughts wandered Kagome noticed that Sango began staring into space.
“What are you thinking?” Kagome broke the silence with a whisper.
“…” Sango put down the spoon she was using and gently placed it on the wood floor.
“Do…don’t you-…” Sango fumbled around for her words, its not like she could just tell Kagome that she’s leaving tomorrow, and that she would never see her or this era again. She couldn’t say what would happen to her, or why it would happen. If she would truly forget or if Kagome would be able to live peacefully alone-yet safe from the evil that will soon reign over this time.
“D-do you like it here?” she refused to look at her, afraid to alarm her with the tears welling in her eyes.
“Umm…what do you mean ‘here’ ,like in the hut?” Kagome leaned forward in confusion. ‘Why is Sango hiding her face from me?’
“I mean…do you like it in this time with us?” Sango looked at Kagome with teary eyes. Puzzled, she answered. “Ofcourse I like it here with you guys, you’re my friends! How could I not like it? And what’s wrong, why are you crying?” She placed a friendly hand on her friends shoulder. “Whatever it is Sango, I’m here for you.” Sango shut her eyes tight, trying to fight back her tears .
‘She wont be here for that long...’ She thought hopelessly. “Thank-you Kagome…” She managed to choke out. Sango straightened and Kagome’s hand fell off her shoulder. She picked up the spoon and began to stir the stew again. “Just a couple more minutes.”
Kagome nodded in reply, concern still evident on her face.
Miroku wandered aimlessly outside of the hut. The sun was almost fully set. He really needed to think. Maybe if he thought hard enough… he could find a way that Kagome could stay…maybe a way to defeat Naraku…maybe a way to make Sango feel better, and tell her that he loves her before its too late for them both.
‘But now is not the time, it would be too much for her….but if I don’t tell her soon than she will never know. Inuyasha never got a chance to tell Kagome his true feelings and I do not wish the same thing to happen to me...’
He looked up at the sky as he walked, alone and seemingly troubled. He had to be strong since Inuyasha was gone, he felt obligated to protect the others. Even though it gave him the idea of power Miroku still needed to go through the hardships of tomorrow- sending a close and dear friend away forever…is it possible to go through that still strong? Can it be that he could go through that one day standing firm and taking charge of what was happening, comforting the others. Having to see Sango’s hurt face as Kagome leaves, to never return, forgetting everything and everyone she ever saw here- ‘including me…’
He dropped his head and breathed out a defeated sigh. The sun was now no where to be seen, hidden behind tree’s so the sky was scarcely lit. He should be heading back now, it was getting late and supper was probably done already. Not that he was hungry. Sango’s been in a confused daze ever since they agreed on sending Kagome back and it was really starting to get to him- he hated seeing her like this. From what Miroku understood they where cherished friends, how should Sango be taking this? Sucking it up and getting on with her life? He found the idea quite unreasonable considering the fact that he still missed Inuyasha and woman tend to form quite strong bonds amongst each other, so to have one of them be gone just like that would be like tearing out a piece of yourself and never finding it again. Never again.
He began the long walk back towards the hut. Miroku had walked off so far he found himself just outside the border of the village.
Four hot bowls of steaming stew lay out across a small wooden table in the middle of the floor. Sango leaned slightly over the table, seemingly content for her good work. No one except Kagome seemed to really notice the lack of a bowl. Shippo and Kaede have now joined the two girls and both were sipping slowly, like they were waiting for something to happen. After Sango leaned back, her small smile faded when she noticed how Miroku still wasn’t back yet.
‘Why is he so late…’ Her nervous thoughts seemed to be evident in her facial expression because Kagome spoke quickly. “Miroku’s probably on his way back right now.” Sango looked up from her hands, and to Kagome who was still eating silently, staring at the wall. “Right…” Sango fixed her gaze to the bamboo flap, swinging slightly with the soft breeze outside.
‘Right.’ She repeated it, assuring herself of his safety. Sango couldn’t help but worry, she didn’t think she could take it if she lost another friend.
Just then Miroku came in to the hut. He took a place beside Sango and greeted everyone with the warmest hello he could muster. He scanned the table for his bowl and placed it infront of him. Kagome was the first one to start the dinner conversation. “So…” She looked up at her friends who were gathered around the table.
“What are we going to do now?”
Kaede looked up from her bowl. “I’m not sure.” She shook her head slightly “What is there to do?”
“There’s the option of sleep.” Miroku said while getting up from his seat. “It’s late,we should all get to bed.”
Kagome intervened. “But its only-“
“We’ve all had a long day, I think rest is crucial right now.” Sango said while putting her hand on Kagome’s shoulder.
“Good-night.” Shippo mumbled getting up from his seat and walking over to his sleeping mat.
“Are you o.k. Shippo, you’ve hardly said a word all day.” Kagome’s concerned voice made him turn around in anger.
“I’m fine, except for the fact that after all Inuyasha’s done for you ,you guys don’t even lift a finger for him!”
“huh?” Kagome stepped back, shocked that such an outburst could come from someone so small. Kaede, Sango and Miroku all turned to look at him.
“What!” The young kitsune screamed, small tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “Don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m taking about!” Shippo angrily brushed hot tears from his cheeks. “And you said you were his friends!...”
“But there is nothing we can do Shippo!” Miroku’s yell stopped his ranting. “Screaming will get you no where.” Sango bowed her head and shut her eyes tight, trying to block out what was going on around her.
Kagome backed up into the wall, and let herself fall against it to support her weight since she was In no condition to be standing. So many thoughts running through her mind….
‘We are his friend! There is nothing we can do right! Right? Am I really being that much of a backstabber? I didn’t even do anything! He got what he wanted, didn’t he? He wanted Kikyo, right? He probably willingly left with her for all I know…’
“Shippo, I think ye should get some sleep.” Kaede picked the sobbing boy up and tucked him gently into his mat. Kagome slid down against the wall, waiting for an answer.
Sango and Miroku shared a small look at each other and then crawled into their beds as well. Kaede blew out the lantern after looking at Kagome.
‘She will go to sleep soon enough.’
Kagome stared down at her hands, she could barely see them in the darkness of the hut. She felt so utterly alone. Like she’s been abandoned by the one she loved dearest. The thought of Inuyasha gone still pulled at her heart, still crushed her soul. Kagome never thought that after so long she would get so attached to him, now it felt like a chunk of her was missing, and it made it even worse that she could do nothing about it.
No one wanted Shippo upset; everyone there was helpless in this situation. It would only get worse…Naraku would soon find all the jewel shards and take over the land, one demon, one village, one murder at a time. And could she help him? No. This time there was no killing. There was not even any near death experiences. Just knowing that Inuyasha was alive somewhere, somewhere that no matter how hard she looked, she could never find or a place that she would never be able to go and come back again, made her feel so lonely.
Like he wasn’t dead but he wasn’t alive either. Kagome wished more than anything that he was with her, maybe even mocking her or yelling at her, but he would still be there.
‘Snap out of it!’ She thought, shaking her head miserably. Two small droplets of water sparkled for a split second in the moonlight as they flew from her face.
‘ I need to get a hold of myself!’ She slowly brought her head up, it felt a lot heavier.
’I need to get to sleep to, I’ll try to think of something in the morning, hopefully then I will be able to think straight.’
She felt her way around and found her sleeping bag. It was the slightest bit warmer than the outside air.
Sango opened her eyes once she heard Kagome crawl into bed. Her pillow was wet from crying. It was the last night Kagome ever would spend in this time. That was their last dinner so Sango took extra time preparing it. What would it be like? Sending her off, knowing that she would never be coming back again. Word was sent while Kagome was walking earlier that day with a traveling villager. He said that a large beats was rampaging through villages destroying everything in its wake. The demonic aura of this creature was so strong that people ran, just after sensing it leaving some towns abandoned.
The news startled Sango, but it was no doubt that this creature had something or another to do with Naraku. Miroku had cautioned her not to just go running off to fight demons like that alone. We had to wait until…until Kagome left. It was true, it had been a safety issue. Its not that kagome was weak. Oh no, she was a very strong girl but it’s just that…if Naraku were to keep on getting stronger, there were doubts that not even all of them would be able to defeat him. The sacred jewel is something not to be meddled with when placed in the hands of someone that merciless and evil.
She shut her stinging eyes again, trying to savor the moment. She breathed in the night air and practically choked it out. It stuck to the back of her throat, provoking a cough.
Was it just her or was it getting colder?
Tomorrow would be a hard day, and Sango really needed her sleep.
‘Be strong, I need to be strong for Kagome…”
Kagome snuggled further into her sleeping bag trying to think happy thoughts…
‘If dwelling on the past makes me feel better, than why shouldn’t I be aloud to do it…’