InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Failure ❯ My Shame Be My Own Demise ( Chapter 3 )

A/n: Last chappie for today! I need to revise this one, it's choppy… But I think I'll do it when it's not 3 AM ^_^. Please enjoy and R&R

 

Disclaimer: Inuyasha, dance for me! No? Not like a taco? Oh, you shan't be mine… ::sniffle:: …For shame…

 

Chapter III: My Shame Be My Own Demise

 

Inuyasha stared at Kagome discreetly from across the campfire, trying to maintain the image of him looking like he was spacing out to the flames' alluring dance. Sango eyed him quietly, also secretly, and sighed softly. His ears were slightly drooped and he looked forlorn. For those who knew him better, almost defeated… She didn't know what was going on between Inuyasha and Kagome, but they both looked like they were ready to give in and throw in the towel. She didn't know why their arguments had unexpectedly become so one sided, or nearly non-existent at all. They barely communicated at all nowadays. It concerned her greatly, but she didn't know what to do!

 

It seemed like their arguments had become, well… too personal, almost… Like they starting taking what each other said… or, well, at least Kagome did, it seemed… to heart. Literally and fully speaking.

 

Sango let her eyes creep over to her best friend, taking a sweeping glance to process her friend's emotional state from the outside. She looked worn, beat, and fatigued… almost frayed around the edges… Her school girl uniform was becoming too small for the swell of her womanly curves, which had filled out over the years. More frequently now she took to jeans or shorts, very odd styles that she hadn't seen before… Then again, Kagome's uniform was like no uniform she had ever seen before, but still… she had gotten used to it, and was almost fond of the so-called `uniform'. It was kind of a… symbol, if you will… of their earlier, more enthusiastic days of the quest for the Shikon no Tama and demise of Naraku.

 

She shuddered outwardly at the mere thought of the name…

 

“Why my dear Sango!” came a masculine sing-song voice. “Are you cold? Shall I supply my assistance in warming you up?”

 

Sango hastily waved her hands, trying to reject Miroku's advances. “No Miroku, I don't need-!” A rough hand followed the curve of her butt, relishing in a small squeeze. She instantly turned around, thoroughly wound up and embarrassed, and smacked the houshi into unconsciousness. “HENTAI!!” She screamed and immediately rose from her seat. Though she and Miroku had admitted sharing an attraction, and even feelings for each other, that did not stop the lecher from placing his hands on her! And it absolutely did not stop that outrageous smile from spreading across his unconscious form!

 

Her pride elating in order to cover up for her uncomfortable state of mind, she instantly spat out, “I'm going for a bath!” Kagome, Inuyasha, and Shippo all looked at her somewhat bemused, if not slightly exasperated at the familiar scene.

 

Kagome slowly stood up, reaching for her bag to dig out her bath supplies. “That sounds nice Sango… I think I'll join you… Just wait for me to get my stuff, will you?” She said quietly as she dug through the pale yellow pack. Inuyasha watched her pull out her toiletries, her odd `shom-pooh' and `con-di-shun-er', including another change of clothes (he did not fail to notice the slight twitch in his groin at the sight her lingerie).

 

Sango turned and looked Inuyasha directly in the eye, somewhat incensed, “Make sure you keep the houshi away from us, okay?!” And then proceeded to stomp of, infuriated. Kagome kind of floated behind her, seeming almost otherworldly and displaced. He sighed again at her state of being, but shoved it to the back of his mind.

 

Maybe he could find something out from spying on them? He smirked roguishly, a fang popping out of the corner of his lip. That and see some naked female ningens.

 

He became more enthusiastic from that thought, leaping into the air. Of course he knew of Kagome's ailing mindset… but that didn't take away that he was still a horny male sometimes…

 

But thinking of Kagome's mindset at all also put a huge damper to the fun of watching…

 

Watching them was about business this time, not excitement…

 

And Kagome was audibly sighing by the time they left the campsite. Hearing her sound so … so weighed upon made Sango's mind buzz with confusion. Was she really that depressed? She stole a quick glance out of the corner of her eye at Kagome, noticing her conflicting state and resolved to pry answers out of her, for Kagome's own well being.

 

But first they had to get far away from Inuyasha and his abnormally good hearing (Damn him! Sango thought absent mindedly) for her to be comfortable enough to talk.

 

When they reached a hotspring, and stripped off their clothes rather languidly, Kagome and Sango settled in.

 

And that's when Kagome started melting down… she started sniffing at first, rubbing her face and eyes in an attempt to be strong… but now that she wasn't required to keep a façade of being strong, she broke down and started bawling…

 

She ran to Sango (as well as one could in waist deep water) who welcome her with open arms, and all but launched herself onto the older girl. “S-Sango-chan!” She cried pathetically, as Sango smoothed her hair and rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to be comforting. “Kagome-chan… Kagome-chan, what's wrong?”

 

The girl started rambling incoherently, flinging her head up to look into Sango's face with despairing eyes and when she realized she couldn't speak straight she just allowed herself to wallow in heartbroken wails until she was coherent enough to speak right…

 

…which didn't seem very likely for a while…

 

And while she sobbed, Inuyasha watched rather aghast. This is what he did to Kagome? The girl he claimed he couldn't be without? This girl that accepted him like it was the easiest thing? And never questioned his demonic blood…? And gave meaning to his life everyday?

 

This is was he did to repay his debt to her?

 

…break her soul…?

 

What's wrong with me…?

 

Kagome began to move about, and when Inuyasha heard her begin to speak, he was shaken out of his thoughts.

 

“S-Sango-chan! W-why am I not worth anything? Why am I so helpless? Wh-what's wrong with me?!” She cried, burying her face into her friend's neck as if in an attempt to hide herself from the world, in all her disgrace…

 

Sango's mouth opened a bit, as she felt herself slowly becoming angry… So her guess wasn't so far off, after all!

 

… But she wisely shut her mouth, allowing the girl to let it out…

 

“W-why? W-why am I so w-weak to him… ? Why am I nothing to him?!”

 

Inuyasha was taken aback… he never called her nothing before… That's ridiculous! He wanted to go over there and beat those useless ideas from her pretty head!

 

“I'M SO USELESS!” Kagome hit the water away from her in anger, disgusted with the reflection of herself. Her pathetic, worthless self which cried over the most insignificant things… like crying for herself…

 

Sango frowned, a bit taken aback by the depth of hurt that radiated off of Kagome… She didn't want to sound redundant, but she couldn't think of anything useful to say besides the obvious…

 

“Kagome-chan… you're not useless…”

 

She pulled away from the girl sharply, staring at her in a conviction that shocked both Sango and Inuyasha. She was dead serious when she said these things! “I AM USELESS! I'm NOTHING!”

 

Sango reached out for the girl, slowly, gently… trying to soothe her pain… “Inuyasha never said you were nothing, Kagome…”

 

Kagome pulled away, flinching as if it burned to be touched.

 

“What else could he mean, huh?!”

 

…Her raven locks glued to her face, and her eyes shone in self-loathing…

 

“How is it I'm something when I'm just a weak shard-detector? And I can't even sense them that much anymore!” Sango looked at her as if she were strange. What does she mean, she can't sense them…?

 

Kagome turned away, covering her face in humiliation. She hunched down as far as she could, trying to hide herself from even Sango's sight…

 

“DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY!”

 

Inuyasha heard her mumble what Sango couldn't hear, “…inuyasha looks at me that way…”

 

She reeled back around, looking at Sango with accusing eyes, “As if I'm nothing but a bizarre girl from the future who doesn't belong here!”

 

The fire began to slowly drain from Kagome…

 

“Whenever I'm upset… as if he doesn't understand…” Her voice cracked at the end of her words, a tell-tale sign her throat was dry and cottony.

 

“Kagome… maybe he doesn't… but please understand, Inuyasha doesn't mean the things he says…” Sango felt the anger rise in her again when she mentioned the hanyou's name… She would most assuredly deal with the hanyou who left his mess on her hands. She didn't mind consoling Kagome, but Inuyasha needed to take responsibility for the pain he so easily dealt out!

 

The fire all but reignited in Kagome, “How doesn't he?! When at every chance he reminds me, huh?! How maybe I'm not good enough! How maybe I'm not enough like Kikyo!”

 

She spoke the name of her rival with malice and with an odd sense of soft longing.

 

It pulled at Inuyasha's heartstrings in a way he wasn't quite sure he could comprehend…

 

Sango frowned a bit, rising to meet Inuyasha's defense despite the fact he was the one who caused her this anguish, “He hasn't said that for almost three years now, Kagome… He realizes now you and Kikyo are different… you know?” She spoke the last part softly, trying to pacify Kagome.

 

And it was working.

 

Kagome's eyes spilled out fresh tears, as she fell to her knees and cried her soul to pieces, “I wish I knew, Sango… I-I wish I-I knew that… b-but I don't...”

 

Sango gathered the weeping girl back into her arms, rocking her and rubbing her back. Kagome muttered into Sango's chest again, “I…I just d-don't…”

 

Inuyasha watched the heart wrenching scene with renewed self-hatred… He did all this to Kagome… he hurt her like this… And no one else was to blame… He knew that. He knew he had to take responsibility… Or else they all might just loose her as a consequence of her suffering…

 

He turned on his heels and fled away… his shame rising in his chest and ready to consume his inner being with sorrow and agony.

 

He needed a few days away from everyone… He had to figure this out… Figure Kagome out… How she become this depressed…

 

He needed time to think on how to fix this mess he had created…

 

A/n: Longest chapter by far! R&R and may your heart be feeling it :D