InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Insights ❯ Insights on a Hanyou's Mind ( Chapter 1 )

Hey folks! I'm in a good mood today. I currently hold the record for archery in my class: 41 points out of a possible 45. To get 45 points you need all five arrows in the yellow bulls' eye. Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. He belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

 

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What am I? I am not human, nor am I youkai; I'm both. But, what is both? It often seems that by being both, I am neither. I am something, but what is that something? Where do I belong?

 

Who am I? I suppose I could say I'm doubly royal. My mother was a princess, my father a demon lord. Does that make me a human prince or a demon lord?

 

I wander around slaying demons, but that make me a demon slayer? How could a half-demon be a demon slayer? No. Sango is a demon slayer. She does it to help people; I do it to collect Shikon shards.

 

Miroku would say I am a creature blessed by Buddha, but he says that about every creature. Miroku knows why he is here, what he is. For him, life, and love, is not complicated.

 

Ah, love. I must have the worst problems with love. Did I ever honestly love Kikyo? Was it just a “crush,” as Kagome calls it? I should hate Kikyo, but I don't. Every time I see her, she just wraps me around her finger again.

 

But Kagome, I love Kagome all the time. I constantly worry about her getting injured in one of our battles. Sometimes, I have this horrible nightmare where she's killed. Each time, my heart is ripped in two. If she were killed for real, I don't think I could handle it. I tried to send her back to her home for her own safety, but she still came back. She wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. I fear that someday, that will hurt her. I fear that I won't be able to resist Kikyo, and when I leave, I will break Kagome's heart.

 

But when I'm with Kagome, I don't worry about that. Her smile is infectious. It makes me smile inside, even though I don't let it show. When I'm with her, I want to laugh, to make jokes, to dance, even though I don't dance. I wonder, would Kikyo have been like Kagome if she hadn't been raised the sole, solemn guardian of a powerful jewel? No, I shouldn't think about that.

 

Laugh, Kagome, laugh, but don't love me. If you love me, I will only break your heart. Or, maybe we will love each other, and our love will be strong. Maybe, your love will be my lifeline. Maybe your love will keep me from going with Kikyo.

 

But maybe not. Kikyo's hold on me is powerful. Live long, laugh hard, and give your love to someone else, Kagome. Give it to someone who deserves it, someone who is not held down by the past.

 

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Cute, huh? Part two, Kikyo, is coming soon! As always, please review!!