InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mind Reader ❯ Intermission ( Chapter 17 )

Mind Reader

Chapter 14: Intermission

========

Kagome leisurely yawned and stretched out in the grass outside of Kaede's hut. They had decided to take the day easy and make plans of what to do tonight. Kagome was contemplating taking a nap when Sango came running towards her. Sango fell to her knees beside Kagome.

"Kagome, you have to help me!" she frantically said.

Kagome sat up. "What's wrong now?"

"It's Miroku! He won't leave me alone!"

As if on cue Miroku appeared and ran up to the girls.

"Sango, all I'm asking is if it was you who pinched my butt!"

Kagome would have fallen over if her friend wasn't clutching her arm. Instead she turned her head to look at Sango. "Well did you?" she asked jokingly.

Sango stared at Kagome like she had just agreed to bear Miroku's child. "What? Are you crazy? Do you actually think I would pinch that lecher's butt?"

"No need to get all defensive Sango. I was just asking a simple question," replied Kagome, grinning from ear to ear.

"So Sango, did you pinch my butt?"

"NO!" shouted Sango.

~ Dammit, my one moment of weakness will haunt me forever! ~

Miroku looked crestfallen for a moment before turning to Kagome. "So Kagome, did you happen to see who pinched my butt?" he asked hopefully.

~ Please say Sango! Please say Sango! ~

At this question Sango tightened her grip on Kagome, willing Kagome to not say anything…stupid.

"I can't be sure Miroku. But Inuyasha was by your butt. Maybe he pinched it," replied Kagome with a surprisingly straight face.

~ Oh crap. Did he happen to find out that I accidentally patted his butt? He doesn't think I like him…does he? No way. Inuyasha is as straight as an arrow. Or he is? ~

It was even more surprising that Kagome managed to keep a straight face through all of Miroku's thoughts.

"Um, I'll talk to you guys later. I need to go find someone," said Miroku shakily, before bolting off to presumably find Inuyasha. And Kagome could no longer keep a straight face. Laughter engulfed her as she rolled on the ground, Sango soon joining him.

"Oh man did you see his face? It was priceless!" gasped Kagome when she managed to calm down.

"I know. But what I really want to see is Inuyasha's face when Miroku finds him!" remarked Sango. The two girls glanced at each other and immediately stood up and ran after Miroku. When they saw him enter the forest they slowed down and cautiously followed him. They peeked around a tree and saw Inuyasha sitting up in a tree branch and Miroku standing at the base. So they stood back and watched the fireworks.

~ Well, here goes nothing. I sure hope Inuyasha doesn't kill me. ~

Miroku cleared his throat and successfully got Inuyasha's attention.

"Watcha want monk?"

~ Damn him, going and ruining my fantasies with Kagome…aww, they were so nice too. Her and me, alone. In her house, her family was gone. I was in heaven. I was laying on my back, Kagome was on top of me. It was utter bliss. Damn Miroku, she was just about to start feeding me the ramen when he just had to walk in here! ~

Kagome was 3 seconds from blowing her and Sango's cover when Inuyasha finally got around to saying what they were doing in his fantasy. `Phew, it was just ramen. Nothing more. Wait! Nothing more? He dreams about me feeding him ramen before sex? Dang, what kind of screwed up guy is he?' Kagome was torn away from her thoughts when Miroku started talking again.

Miroku nervously gulped and took a step back from the tree Inuyasha was residing in. "Well when me, you, Sango, and Shippo were in that heap in Kaede's hut someone happened to pinch my butt."

Inuyasha jumped down from the tree and leaned against the trunk, crossing his arms over his chest. "And your point being…" he asked, raising one eyebrow at Miroku, for once looking like a somewhat smart guy.

Miroku took another step backwards. He was now sweating like crazy and Inuyasha had just made it worse by jumping to the ground. "Well, I was wondering ifyouhadpinchedmybutt," he blurted out in one breath, completed prepared to run for his life.

"Huh? What did you say?" Inuyasha raised one hand to his head and scratched it in a puzzled manner. He no longer looked somewhat smart. He looked completely confused.

~ Damn him. Isn't he suppose to be a hanyou? So shouldn't he have exceptionally good hearing? But noooo. He's gonna make me say it again! And slower! Well I could always not ask…but than the unknown will slowly drive me insane. It can't be helped. I must ask again. ~

"I said, I was wondering if you had pinched my butt," repeated Miroku, this time enunciating every syllable clearly so that the stupid hanyou in front of him could understand.

"Oh, that's what you said," replied Inuyasha.

~ Huh? No death threats? No cursing? Shit, does that mean he did do that? ~

Realization suddenly dawned on Inuyasha and his face darkened. "What the hell did you say? Did I pinch your ass? Why the hell would I ever want to pinch your ass? Shit Miroku, what kind of sick fantasies do you have?" yelled Inuyasha.

"So I'm taking it as you didn't pinch my butt?"

At this Inuyasha lunged at Miroku who immediately jumped up a tree and held onto a branch for dear life. "Now now Inuyasha, please calm yourself down. I was merely asking a simple question. No need to get all defensive." Miroku said in a very panicky voice.

~ Damn my curiosity to hell. I should never have asked. ~

~ I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him! ~

Inuyasha ignored everything Miroku said and jumped up to the branch Miroku was hanging on. Miroku `eeped' and fell to the ground landing somewhat painfully on his butt. Before he could stand back up Inuyasha had grabbed him by his shoulders and hauled him to his feet.

"Why thank you Inuyasha. I appreciate your help. I'll just be leaving now." Miroku managed to take one step away from Inuyasha before he was pinned to a tree.

~ Oh well, it was worth a try. Now it's time for my beating. ~

"You. Idiot. Damn ass. Pinch. Didn't. Kill." Inuyasha gritted out from between clenched teeth. Most of it Miroku didn't really understand, but the last word he did. He grinned at Inuyasha and tried to duck under his arms. It failed.

"Say Inuyasha, how about we call a truce and prevent any senseless bloodshed?" suggested Miroku trying his best to sound calm and friendly. That also failed. He sounded freaked out and scared shitless.

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and lowered his arms. "Get the hell out of here monk. And don't you ever speak of this again! Next time I won't be so nice." Inuyasha growled one last time for good measure and jumped back onto his branch. Miroku couldn't believe his good luck. He immediately took off and didn't look back once.

~ Hoorah! I get to live to see another day! Oh happy day! ~

Seeing as the confrontation was over Sango and Kagome also turned to leave.

~ Alright, now that I got rid of that pest where was I? Oh yes, Kagome was leaning over me with ramen noodles in some chopsticks. In a low cut shirt. Hehe, lots of cleavage. Oh yeah…~

Kagome looked back to stare at the clearing Inuyasha was in. `Ahh, so he does think of stuff other than food. That's a relief. Waaiit a minute. He was talking about my cleavage! That good for nothing little piece of…' And poor Kagome forgot to turn around as she dished out her angry thoughts. She met the acquaintance of a tree. It was a very nice tree, it had pretty green leaves many full branches. But at that moment Kagome was cursing that tree. "What the hell is a tree doing in the middle of the forest!? Did someone purposely plant it here knowing that I would run into it? Who's out to get me?" she screamed to no one. Than an acorn hit her head. She looked up to see a squirrel scampering away. "I hate you! I bet Akki set you up for that, didn't he? Come back here and fight you coward!" Luckily for Kagome's soon to be gone sanity, Sango came up and dragged her friend away before she could duke it out with a tree.

~ Yup, my suspicions were just confirmed. Kagome is a schizo. ~

========