InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Howling Heart ❯ My Howling Heart ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

This is my first shot at writing. I spend my time rolling around ideas in my head, but never putting them to good use. But, tonight is different. And as I sat there, sucking on my red popsicle stick, I had a very, very strong urge to write something. Unfortunetly, I didn't have too much happiness bubbling up inside of me. So this is kinda depressing. It doesn't really have too much of an aim, either. No plot, or nothing. It's just what it is. I kinda like it. But, if you don't, then so be it.


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, I do not make any money off of this and all credit goes to Rumiko Takahashi.



"I'll kill it all, this sad hurt in my heart. I'll kill it all in one shot. And if it comes back after this lonely day, then so be it. I'll kill it again. And again. And again. Until someone can take it away from me." -Mysteriously Moi


:)
And, without further ado, let story begin.

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It was dark. So dark.

She was running, her heart breaking with every step she took. She never looked back, not once. The tears ran down her face in an ungraceful way, while her chest burned from lack of air. She tripped over something she could not see, her hands instinctively flying out in front of her, earning her scrapes and scratches from the rough ground below. She didn't bother to stand up, so instead she sobbed into the ground. She was cold, but the numbness of her body didn't let her feel it, and she was unaware of the involuntary shiver and shake of her body.

Why?? Why me?? Of all people, why not someone else?? She never wanted to feel this way, and she never wanted to fall for that man. But she did. And she couldn't figure out when it happened. Her virgin heart was breaking with every second that passed by, and as it crumbled into dust, she hoped for a wind to come and blow it away. She never wanted to fall for anyone ever again. She wouldn't put herself through this again....Her sobbing ceased, and she slowly peeled her dirty face from the ground. Kneeling there on both knees, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark. She looked up at the sky. It was a full moon tonight, but the coulds seemed to have covered it up completely.

She sighed and looked down at herself again. She knew her clothes were probably torn and dirty- how much so she didn't know. She felt burning scrapes and scratches all over her- her legs, hands and arms...

She began to realize how cold she was, and made no attempt to stop the unwelcome shaking that came. She knew it was from more than just the cold air- it was from the weariness of her body from running and crying. It was from her despair that all that's happened was coming to an end in one crumbled heap.

She couldn't stop the flash of memories going through her mind. She saw Inuyasha and her, standing next to the sacred tree, the autumn leaves falling all around them. It was their first kiss, soft and sweet. Then there she was, running towards him, finaly falling into his sweet embrace. And there they were again, snow falling all around them. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, with a scarf wound losely around her neck. Her arms were around his neck, his around her waist. The images came as quickly as they went, and they all left her with her face in her hands, sobbing quietly into the stillness of her surroundings.

The last memory came to her with a flood of hatred and despair. It was of Inuyasha and Kikyou. They were standing next to the sacred tree, wrapped in each others arms.

She lifted her face from her hands, letting them drop to her lap. She blinked to clear her vision again. She thought how ironic it was that she had found Inuyasha and Kikyou there next to the sacred tree, the same place where they were both semmingly betrayed, and the same place that Inuyasha and herself had first kissed. She choked back tears, and instead she managed to stand up.

She straightened out her shoulders. She wasn't going to be broken like this. She was, after all, a Higurashi. She had more in her than either Inuyasha or Kikyou knew.

The moon decided to show itself at that moment, the clouds parting themselves to let the moonlight shine over the clearing in the forest she had run into. It was a depressing scene to see. A girl with wavy black hair, adorned in battered clothes and scratches, stood stock-still. She appeared to be staring at the moon sadly. There was an odd burning fire in her eyes, too. One that would never be put out. She stood alone in a clearing of trees, with rocks and roots protruding from the ground around her. The trees swayed, and in an odd way, they seemed to mourn for her. Though she didn't seem to be mourning for herself, everything around her did. The moon, the trees, and even the wind. Somewhere off in the distance, a howling sounded. The girl stood for a moment more, listening to the howling creature, before departing and returning to where she came.

She would return to this place again. Wether she knew it or not, she would return. It is here that a girl bacame a woman. Through happieness and joy, heartbreak, despair and greif, Kagome Higurashi had molded her heart into something akin to stone. She would find love again, yes. But it will be many years before then. She will live a happy life and not have any regrets. When she lays asleep at night, old with age, with her husband at her side, she will relive the memories of her traveling days. She will remember her freinds, Sango and Miroku, the kitsune kit Shippou and the fire cat Kirara. She will remember Lady Kaede, and the many faces of others that will be permanently burned into her memory. And she would remember taveling endless days with her dear freinds. So many days, months, and years that she held very dear to her heart. And in her dreams, she will return to Inuyasha's world. She will return to his arms. She will remember Inuyasha and Kikou, and it is then that she will return to the clearing in the trees. The harsh, unforgiving ground. The swaying trees and the howling creature echoing in her mind. The heartbreak never leaving her, but only growing smaller with time. It will always be there. And in her dreams, in her old world, she is reunited with all of that. In her dreams, she will stay. In the morning her cheeks will be pale, her breath stopped. She will be sleeping peacefully, her dreams the only place she would be alive.