InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Of Dogs and Demons ❯ When Fairy Godfathers Attack ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Alrightyo…It's only been a few days, but, despite the lack of response, I'm going to go ahead and put out chappie one anyways. I would say something witty, but I'm plum out of usable brain meats. o_O So, read, enjoy, and review! `Specially that last part.

 

Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha and all it's characters, Kikyo would decide to move to Mexico and spend the rest of her dead days on a beach far, far away from Inuyasha, Naraku would be a misunderstood, evil bunny rabbit, and Sesshomaru and I would be procreating like there was no tomorrow. Obviously, since there are no cute Sesshomaru's or Marti's running around, I don't own Inuyasha. Sad, ain't it?

 

:oOo:

 

Of Dogs and Demons

 

Chapter 1

 

When Fairy Godfathers Attack

 

:oOo:

 

Present Day

 

Inuyasha cracked his eyes open. Instead of being met with a vision of a vengeful miko, he was greeted with two concerned pairs of eyes.

 

“Hey! Get the fuck out of my face!”

 

“You were whimpering in your sleep, Inuyasha. We were merely investigating.” Miroku replied evenly.

 

“Was not!”

 

“Our mistake. We forgot that the Great and Mighty Inuyasha isn't capable of whimpering, unlike us weak and pathetic mortals.” Sango said, her words oozing with sarcasm. The once half demon chose to ignore her and rolled over in a weak attempt to save his dignity.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sango asked gently after a moment of tense silence. He favored her with a long appraising gaze over his shoulder, allowing his eyes to flicker over Miroku as well. He was struck, not for the first time, by how remarkably similar the looked with their silky jet black fur and large triangular ears. The only way you could tell the two apart (besides that fact that Sango was defiantly a female and Miroku defiantly wasn't) was their eyes. Where Sango's were dark and friendly, Miroku's had a slightly purple tint that danced with mischief.

 

“No.” he said, letting his drop back to the floor.

“Let me guess…you were dreaming of Kikyo again, ne?” Miroku asked. Inuyasha closed his eyes wearily.

 

“Even if I was, I sure as hell wouldn't tell you.”

 

“He was.” Miroku responded with a wolfish grin.

 

“Shut up, hentai!”

 

“You wound me. I'm a monk of high moral standards, regardless of what form I happen to inhabit at the moment.”

 

Inuyasha snarled and heaved himself up, retreating into the kitchen.

 

“Now look what you did! He's never going to talk to us if you keep teasing him like that.” Sango scolded in an angry whisper.

 

“Excuse me, dear Sango, I can't help but point out the obvious.”

 

“Couldn't you be a little more subtle?”

 

“I'm the very picture of subtle.”

 

“You're pushing it, monk.”

 

“It's not like I can't hear you!” Inuyasha snapped. Damned nosey, stupid, baka friends…He didn't want to talk about what happened. Talking wasn't going to change a damned thing. What happened, happened. No amount of crying would reverse their curse.

 

Besides, he couldn't bear to see the heartbroken looks on their faces when they discovered that there was no way to break their curse. This wasn't some sappy Disney movie where all he had to do was find his `twue wuv' or get some princess make out with him or something. No, Kikyo had insured that they'd suffer for eternity.

 

A long suffering sigh escaped him as he looked at his reflection in his chrome dog bowl. He glared at the white dog with golden eyes stared back at him. Even after all this time, he still was surprised by his reflection. Not that being a dog was a particularly bad way to spend forever. Humiliating? Yes. Frustrating? Sure. Unbearable? Almost, but not quite. He'd tried many times, unsuccessfully, to end his embarrassment. But after throwing himself off a couple cliffs, a few drowning attempts, being run over by a couple trains, eating several boxes of rat poison, and a very unfortunate accident with a vat of pickles, Sango and Miroku finally convinced him (more like beat it into is head) that life as a dog could have its perks.

 

Sure, he couldn't wield Tesseiga anymore and any hope at true happiness was pretty much shot, but there were a lot of things that he didn't miss that came with being of the two-legged persuasion. No demons dragged you out of bed in the middle of the night to try to pound you into the ground. No estranged half brothers ranted your ears off about the impurity of your blood. No arch rivals following you around and plotting your demise—unless you counted dog catchers, but they were hardly worth his time. If you were lucky and were blessed with a kind owner, you didn't have to do much of anything, really—just sit around all day and get fat. It wasn't the existence that he'd hoped for, but when had kami ever given anything he'd hoped for?

 

Nope, being a dog wasn't so bad if you ignored the fact that you were doomed to be one until the end of the world. And the fleas…those goddamned fleas.

 

“Hey guys, I'm home!” a voice chimed from the front door, the sound of footsteps echoing on the hardwood floor. “Did you miss me?”

 

His ears perked up. His “mistress” had returned. And it was about time, too! She'd been gone for a whole—his eyes swiveled up to the clock on the wall—forty-five minutes! Really…what was she thinking being gone that long? Stupid bitch…

 

“Hey, hey, hey! Down! I'll pet you in a minute. Just let me get these into the kitchen.” She said, probably to Miroku, walking into the kitchen, her arms full of grocery bags. She dumped them onto the table before busily going about putting them away, the monk trailing her every footstep.

 

Higurashi Kagome…his owner. He had first met her after a particularly nasty brawl with some of the local strays who felt that his little gumi was trespassing in their territory. He hadn't been hurt too bad, but she took him home and bandaged his wounds. After pouring on his doggy charm, he'd weaseled his way into her home. It wasn't too long before Sango and Miroku sniffed him out and pestered her into taking them in too. The stupid onna had too big of a heart.

 

Although he hated to admit it, she wasn't bad, as far as humans went. She didn't abuse them or talk to them as if they were some baby human brat. Or, even worse, give them some stupid, embarrassing names. It was sort of a given that (since he was doomed, in the grand, ironic tradition of the curses of scorned females, to serve the very thing he loathed to become) he was bound to have some less-than-lovable masters with horrible naming skills. He shuddered. His last master had called him `Snowflake'. What the hell kind of name is that? Certainly not a name meant for a man, that's for damn sure.

 

Actually, he'd been surprised by how accurate her names were. It was almost as if

she knew more than she let on. She had taken to calling him `Demon' after she'd been subjected to his particular brand of mischief one too many times. She'd named Sango `Coral', saying that her temperament reminded her of a peaceful motion of a calm sea (1), although she never actually called her that. She usually shortened it to `Rol or Co-chan. (He guessed that there was some strange modern female impulse to use nicknames and endearments. Not that he cared, as long as she didn't start calling him Demmie-poo or something equally disgusting.) Miroku received the name `Houshi' as sort of a joke. It seemed that his womanizing tendencies hadn't been hampered by his change in species.

 

“The store was absolutely packed today! I had to beat off five people to get the last carton of orange juice…I swear, people these days are so rude!” She growled, using a little more force than necessary to put away her recently bought soup cans. “And that cashier...Can you believe she tried to tell me I gave her two tens and a twenty? Just thought that I'd sit back and let her steal my money? Errrr! The nerve of that woman…” she rambled on, describing in gory detail the full extent of the horrors to be found at the supermarket. Inuyasha, who was quite use to her almost endless monologues, listened with half an ear. Miroku was still following her every move with a horny glint in his eye, probably trying to see if he could get a glimpse of her nether regions. A deep growl vibrated in the back of his throat at the thought of the hentai knowing the color of Kagome's underwear.

 

“What seems to be the matter, Inuyasha?” The ex-monk stopped his unholy pursuit suddenly and turned to cock his head at his friend. But before he could answer, Kagome stopped her rambling to cast a curious look towards him.

 

“What is it, Demon? Hmm?” she sat back on her haunches to look the dog in the eye.

 

“Did you hear something?”

 

He resisted the urge to shake his head with the ease that only centuries of practice can obtain. It was harder with Kagome, though…especially when she looked at him like that. Instead, he just licked his chops before flashing her a doggy grin. He poignantly ignored the way his heart clenched when she smiled back at him.

 

“Yeah…you could be a good boy when you want to.” She said, reaching up and scratching behind his ears. He couldn't help but let his eyes slip shut as she expertly itched his happy spot. (2) She always knew just how to get him to forget anything. However, his ear scratch was cut short when the telephone decided to ring. He immediately hoped over to the phone attached to the kitchen wall.

 

“Moshi, moshi! (3)” she chimed into the headset as she drifted over to the table to sit down. “Hey, momma! No, not really…I had the worst day. Everything was hectic at work. There was some kind of fire at a day care center. There were so many burned little children…it was awful. And to make matters even worse, they didn't schedule enough nurses as usual. I know it's that it's New Year's Eve, but really. So we were all running around with our heads cut off…” Inuyasha put his head in her lap, nuzzling her stomach with his nose in a comforting gesture. Kagome stroked his head a few times and continued.

 

“I was thinking about just not going to the party. I mean, it's been a long day and all…Do you really think I should go? Well I suppose that it might do me some good...Alright, I'll go. But just for you. Oh, it's getting late! I better get ready. I love you, Mom!” She quickly replaced the phone and disappeared into her bedroom. Miroku attempted to follow her, but was stopped by a sharp bite on the tail from Sango.

 

“My darling Sango, I was simply going to make sure that she didn't injure herself in her haste to get ready.” Sango, not at all convinced by the other's lame excuse, threw him a death glare and stormed into Kagome's room, making sure to shut the door behind her. Inuyasha just shook his head and wandered into the living room.

 

“One day, she's going to do more than just snap at your tail.”

 

“I certainly hope so.” Miroku countered, smiling mischievously.

 

“You letch! That's not what I meant!”

 

“Of course not.”

 

They fell quiet, both opting to let their minds wander while their mistress went about nosily getting ready. It wasn't until some time and a few loud curses later that Kagome appeared, buttoning up her knee-length winter coat as she walked down the hallway and towards the door.

 

“You guys behave, now.” She said, ruffling Miroku and Sango's ears. “That goes for you, too, Demon. I don't want to come home and find the house a mess, okay?” He gave her a look that said `I think about it'. She graced him with a smile and gave the top of his head a peck. He told himself that the sharp tug at his heart was merely heart burn and not because she had just kissed him.

 

Kagome, however, was too busy retrieving her keys and purse to notice any strange behavior coming from her furry house mates. Giving her hair one last look over in the mirror by the door, she rushed out of the house and into her car. All three of the dogs watched as she backed up and disappeared into the distance.

 

“Well, well, well. Looks like we have the whole house to ourselves! What should we do?” Miroku asked, tearing his eyes from the window and back towards his companions.

 

“I don't care what you do, houshi-sama, just as long as it doesn't involve me.” Sango snapped. Inuyasha would've whistled if he had lips capable of such a sound. She must be in a really bad mood if she's resorted to calling him `houshi-sama'.

 

“Lady Sango,” Miroku said, caking his words with charm. “Surely you aren't still upset with me.”

 

“Upset? Who's upset? Why should I have a reason to be upset, houshi-sama? ...Stop sniffing me there, hentai!”

 

“But you scent so lovely.”

 

“Well you can smell me from over there! Or, better yet, the other end of the house!”

 

“Shut up!” Inuyasha yelled suddenly, shocking the feuding couple into silence. The former dog demon was staring intently at the hallway as he sniffed the air lightly, a growl beginning low in his chest.

 

“Wha—“ Sango began, her voice dying in her throat when the sound of a window being open echoed from the room that Kagome used as an office at the end of the hallway. All three dogs quietly made their way towards the offending sound, listening carefully.

 

“Geez…I thought she'd never leave! Now, let's see…where are they…?” a small voice sighed from behind the door. His growl returned. Some little kid was broke in Kagome's house? Why the little… He couldn't kill the fucker, but he sure wouldn't be going home with all his limbs tonight. Rushing foreword, Inuyasha bust through the partially open door, ready to maul the stupid kid that dare try steal from Kagome, followed by Sango and Miroku, who were growling their own promises of bodily harm. What greeted them on the other side, however, caused all three dogs to stop in their tracks. A boy no older than ten or so with bright red hair and violently green eyes stood in the middle of the room, beaming them with a huge smile that could've danced his way into anyone's heart.

 

He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a green tee-shirt with five ugly cartoon characters that reminded Inuyasha vaguely of his brother's servant, Jaken. (4) A red, puffy coat topped off the `I'm-little-and-defenseless' image the child seemed to radiate. But what was interesting about the kid wasn't his odd choice in clothing. No, not at all, considering that they had all assumed that youkai had died out a century or two ago. So, naturally, they were all rightfully stunned that one was standing before them. Especially since the said youkai was acting as if it was the most common thing in the world for random demons to suddenly break into your house and start talking to the pets.

 

“Ah! There you are. Do you know how long it's taken me to track you three down? It has to be at least ten years now! Can't you stay in one place? Oh, how rude of me…Allow me to introduce myself. My name's Shippo. I'm your fairy godfather!” He declared, his chest puffed out importantly. It wasn't long before he noticed the blank stares he was receiving and deflated. “What?”

 

:oOo:

 

1. Sango's name in Japanese can either be translated as `the sea' or as `coral'. My

research also says that it could mean `after birth' as well. Interesting, says Marti.

 

2. My dog, whose characteristics are the basis for all three of our trio's doggy habits, has a spot right behind her ears that I refer to as her `happy spot'. Even the slightest of brushes in this particular area result it canine euphoria.

 

3. `Moshi, moshi', says my source on Japanese-ness, is the way the Japanese answer their phones.

 

4. Turtle power! ;D I love Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles…

 

AN: `Kay, kiddy-bumpers. There you go! I'm going to tap my creative energies now and see if I can't finish the next chapter in a couple days. Review me, flame me, tie me up with fly paper and call me Aunt Ruth--whatever.

 

*Swings a pocket watch in front of her computer screen* You will post a review…You will post a review…*hypnotizes herself* I will post a review…I will post a review.

…

Wait a minute…