InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ People Involved ❯ Throw me away ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha… but you already knew that.

People Involved

Ch. 3

By Lara Winner

The next day Inuyasha called me bright and early to see if I was okay. I told him everything, that Kikyo had figured it out and I was going to see her doctor. He wasn't too thrilled about her knowing the situation but what's done was done. She promised to keep quiet about it and all I could do was trust she'd keep her word.

After that the days seemed to fly by and before I knew it another month had come and gone so swiftly it left my head spinning.

I've finally decided to sit out a year before I start college. My Mom isn't too happy about my choice. She thinks I'll lose the motivation to go if I don't do it right away. But I've done some serious thinking and taking a look at all the work and effort my sister is putting in to her grades I can honestly say I'm not that dedicated right now. I need a bit of a breather to get my priorities straight.

It's already mid April and the talk of prom is the newest buzz around school. The prom committee is driving the senior class insane with all their polls and questionnaires. I tend to avoid them whenever possible but Ayumi is one of my friends and she's on the committee too. Since we're friends she spares me for the most part but even she has her ways of getting me to answer those silly questions.

I'm starting to sound like Inuyasha, complaining about the most trivial things that are ridiculously unimportant. I really don't care about prom. I'll go and I'll have fun but in my opinion it's not really worth all the hype. I like the after party better.

Mental note… Don't not match Ginta shot for shot. I will loose and Inuyasha will get pissed, again.

Inuyasha…

I've got to stop this. He's always in my thoughts these days. I mean I do see him everyday and all, but I'm beginning to notice how I'm thinking about him all the time. Its almost like everything I do in the back of my mind I'm asking what would he say about this or what would he do about that. I'm not sure I like this.

This is another one of those sneaky little changes I was talking about. And there are a lot more but some are more obvious than others.

Like Friday at lunch I caught myself watching him talk to Itsuki from across the quad. I'd noticed they'd been talking a lot the last week or so. At first I just stared, observing his body language. Then I started to get annoyed when she began to flirt with him, flipping her brown hair and batting her blue eyes. That's when I came back to reality and realized exactly what I was doing. It's had me on edge ever since.

First of all Itsuki is his ex and what they do is none of my business unless he chooses to confide in me about it. Secondly, I'm not Inuyasha's girlfriend so I have no right to get upset if he's interested in someone else. And third, why the hell do I care anyway?

At first I tried to reason that I was only worried. She made an ass out him once and I didn't want her to do it again. But I'm not a good liar and I see no point in lying to myself. So I laid my cards on the table and admitted that I was a little jealous.

I tried to take it deeper and figure out why I was jealous but I couldn't. At that point things stopped making sense. Suddenly I'm thinking that there might be the slightest possibility that I could like Inuyasha in 'that' way and my brain goes haywire. I was bombarded with conflicting emotions that I couldn't focus on long enough to examine.

I guess I want someone to tell me what I should feel. But nobody can do that but me and I'm not ready to deal with this.

So when will I be?

This is the crap I'm thinking about when I should be doing my calculus homework. The book is sitting in front of me and I see the numbers but they're not making a connection in my head. My mind keeps wandering into forbidden territory.

I glance at the clock. It's eleven thirty Tuesday night. He's not going to call.

It's been three days since I've been to his house. I try not to feel disappointed. Instead I put my books away and crawl into my bed, clothes and all. I'll get Sango to let me copy her homework in the morning. Right now what I need is a good nights sleep. I'll feel better tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~

I thought I'd feel better today? What a joke.

The latest rumor floating around school is that Inuyasha and Itsuki are back together again. At first I thought someone had gotten the information wrong. They couldn't be together. If it were true Inuyasha would have told me. But when Sango cornered me at my locker before second period asking for details on why they made up, I realized that it was true.

All through my morning classes I steamed. How could he not tell me? I thought we were still friends. But I guess we're not because suddenly I'm beginning to realize why I've barely seen him since Sunday. He's been with Itsuki the whole time.

I thought I would have been jealous, and I was a little, but it wasn't jealousy that had me sick to my stomach. It was hurt. I was the last one to know. I seemed everybody knew they were back together but me and I'm supposed to be his best friend.

This is what I was afraid of. Now that we've had sex Inuyasha is going to push me away. I'm going to become another fuck up in his life and our friendship will be over.

As much as the idea was killing me inside, it also made me angry.

At lunch I didn't go to our usual spot in the quad. Instead I went to the library and wrote a letter to him in my notebook. I wasn't planning on giving it to him but it made me feel better to get out all my thoughts and feelings on paper. By the time lunch was over I had calmed down considerably.

But that didn't mean I wasn't angry. I passed Inuyasha's locker on my way to my next class but I didn't look in his direction. I heard him call my name but I kept on walking, ignoring him. I had the feeling that if he tried to talk to me right now I'd only end up pummeling him with my book bag and send him to the nurse's office.

After another three classes and five laps around the football field in PE, my anger was spent. All that was left was the hurt at being completely pushed aside when I had a right to know that he wanted to be with Itsuki again.

The sex was nice but I can live without it. It was never important. But Inuyasha means so much to me that I can't bare the thought of loosing him. I love him. It's not romantic love. This is different than that. In a way it's deeper.

We have to talk about this. That's why I'm not really surprised when he's waiting for me at my locker as soon as class lets out. Neither of us says anything till we reach his car.

He motions for me to get in. "I'll give you a ride home."

I hesitate. "It's better if I walk."

"I really don't want to get into this in the fucking parking lot Kagome. Get in."

He's not in a good mood and I don't want to argue with him if I don't have to. But right now I don't want to be alone with him either. Or maybe I just don't want to hear about her.

I make myself as comfortable as I can in the passenger seat but the tension inside of me has my muscles too taught to relax. He notices this just like he notices everything. I reach over and lower radio giving him permission to start talking anytime.

It doesn't take long for me to realize that he's not driving to my house. He drives to the marina instead. He parks the car facing the harbor so we can watch the boats come in. It's a pretty view with the way the afternoon sun is reflecting on the water. He kills the engine and we sit in silence until I can't take it anymore.

"Shouldn't you be at the youth center right now?"

The question is inane but it lets him know that I want an explanation and I'm dying hear exactly what he has to say. He rakes a hand through his tousled sliver bangs and sighs. "If I skip Haru will cover for me. Why is that a big deal?"

"It's not. I was just wondering." I reply cooly.

"Drop the attitude Kagome. I already know you're pissed off. You've been avoiding me all fucking day." he snaps.

I laugh bitterly. "That's funny, I thought it was the other way around."

"Son of a bitch!" he yells, slamming his fist against the steering wheel. His unexpected display of temper makes me flinch but I won't dare look at him as he turns to face me, his eyes blazing. "I was going to explain everything to you but Itsuki opened her fat trap to half the goddamn school before I could fucking say anything! That's not my fault."

No. He's not playing the innocent one here…

"If you knew you wanted to start seeing her again why the hell couldn't you tell me right away? This didn't happen over night. I have eyes. I've seen the way you've been acting around each other lately. I barely saw you all weekend. Don't you think I know where you were? You've had plenty of time to tell me and instead I'm the last one to know. Thanks a lot."

He looks away guiltily but he's not letting go of his anger, he's too proud to back down yet. "We don't have a relationship you know. We can do whatever the fuck we want with whoever we want."

"You're right." I agree, seething. "But that's not the point. I'm not angry because you're with her I'm angry because we're supposed to be friends. Before we started messing around I would have been the first to know about you guys. How do you think that makes me feel? If positions were reversed I wouldn't let you hear it from everyone else first. How would you like it if I started dating Kouga? What if I didn't tell you about it? I think you'd be pissed off too."

Inuyasha knows I'm right. He gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles are white and I can almost hear it groaning under the pressure.

"Fuck it!" he hisses. "You want be with that jackass go right ahead. Go fuck him and see how long it takes for word to get all around the school. Hey who knows, maybe you did already. Maybe that's why he's panting after you so bad!"

Now that stung.

I turn to him, wide-eyed. I can't believe he said that. He knows I've never been with anyone else. How dare he…

"Look asshole, I don't what rock you crawled out from under but you started this shit. You wanted sex that night and you know damn well that I've never been with anyone besides you. Now I'm sorry if that makes me slut but, just so you know, if it had been anyone else but you I would have said no. As it is I'm sorry I didn't. I really am. That was the biggest mistake I've ever made."

Once it was said the anger inside of me deflated. I didn't mean it anymore than he meant what he said. I said it to hurt him and it must have because he winced. I didn't want it to be like this. There is so much distance between us right now that I feel sick.

"I knew this would happen. I knew it." I whisper softly before opening the door and stepping from the car.

We both need to calm down. As long as he's angry he'll only rub off on me and we'll never get anywhere. Wrapping my arms about my chest, I walk toward the closest pier and take a deep breath. The salty air is heaven. I've always loved the ocean.

The minutes tick by and I let my mind go still. I don't want to think so I immerse myself in my surroundings. I watch the birds circling in the air and let their cries blend in with the sounds coming from the port. It's peaceful and for a moment I'm able separate myself from the way my life is falling apart.

But the pain comes rushing back with suffocating momentum when I hear his door open. He comes to stand by my side and when I don't step away he tentatively drapes his arm around my shoulder.

"I could've left you here." He tries to joke but it comes out sounding pretty pathetic.

It's no more pathetic then the way my voice cracks from unshed tears as I lean into him. "I'd like to think you wouldn't do that to me."

He shrugs. "I'm a bastard."

"Stop it please. I don't want to fight anymore." I plead, blinking at the tears that are filling my eyes.

"Damn it Kagome, don't start crying."

"I can't help it. I feel like I'm loosing you?" I sniff.

Inuyasha puts his arms around me in a loose hug. His breath puffs against my cheek as he scoffs, "Feh. It takes more than one stupid fight to get rid of me. You oughtta know that by now."

I look up at him to find him giving me his most charming smirk. Gently, he reaches up to wipe the tears away, mindful of his claws, as he winks. "You better stop crying before your face gets all puffy and starts to look like a red balloon."

I smile reluctantly as leans his forehead against mine. I'm happy to stand there with him like that, just the two of us. It feels good to have the contact after the roller coaster ride my emotions have taken this afternoon. I know nothings is solved and there is still so much up in the air but he's here now and I want to hold on to that for as long as possible.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah."

With our heads together his lips are a breath away from mine. His amber eyes are glowing with too many emotions to name and I can't resist the pull that lies between us. With the lightest touch our lips meet and I curl my fingers into his shirt pulling him closer.

It's all the invitation he needs. He teeth nip at my lower lip begging for an opening and I part them eagerly. My breath catches as his tongue sweeps into my mouth. His hands tighten on my waist and that familiar heat comes seeping into my blood. I want him…

But reason hasn't left me completely and, by the hardest, I force myself to pull away. We can't do this. Not if he's back with Itsuki.

He takes a step away, his cheeks pink and his breathing heavy. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Its okay. Don't worry about it." I say equally as flustered. "It's getting late. You better take me home."

Through the ride back my house neither of us are talking. It's not uncomfortable but I know he's thinking about the kiss. That's the first time we've ever kissed when we weren't removing clothing at the same time. I'm not sure why it happened.

He gives me a half-hearted smile when I tell him good bye. I tweak his ear to show him that every things okay. But as I watch him pull off I know that I'm being optimistic. Something tells me things will get much worse before they get better.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Kagome did you and Inuyasha have a fight or something?" Sango asks as she takes another sip of her milkshake.

Swallowing the huge bite I'd taken of my ice cream sunday, I roll my eyes. "You know how he is. Now that he's all lovey dovey with Itsuki he forgets he as other friends."

She gives me a skeptical look. "There's more to it than that. I haven't seen you two together in forever."

She's right. I haven't really talked to Inuyasha in over two weeks, not since our little chat at the marina. We pass each other in the halls at school and we wave. He sits with Itsuki at lunch now. He hasn't called me once since that night. I've called him a few times but when we talk he's in a rush to get off the phone. I've gotten the message. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

Every time I think about it the pain is so bad that I want to cry. But I'm not going to burst into tears in front of Sango and especially not right in the middle of Wacdonalds on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

I give her a really huge fake smile and stuff my mouth with more ice cream so I can't say anything.

She's not buying it. "If something did happen you can always talk to me about it."

"Nothing happened. He's got better things to do with his time and besides, you know how I hate being the third wheel." I insist.

"Kagome, are you sure?"

I nod a little too enthusiastically. "Yup. He's being a jerk as usual. That's all."

I look down at my half-finished sunday but I no longer have an appetite. There's a lump of unshed tears that are wedged in my throat and it almost feels like it's choking me. I hate this. I want things to go back to the way they were before we messed everything up. I said I'd never regret having sex with Inuyasha but now I do.

Sango noisily slurps down the last of her shake but her mouth twists into a wide smile as clawed hands suddenly settle on my shoulders from behind. By body jerks in complete surprise and my heart leaps traitorously as I think for a second that it's Inuyasha. But when I turn my head I'm staring into the most dazzling turquoise eyes.

"Hey Kagome."

"Hey Kouga." I smile feeling my spirits lighten a bit. "Wanna sit with us?"

"Don't mind if I do." He grins, straddling the chair beside me and resting his arms as across the back. "What are two sexy girls like you doing by yourselves?"

Sango glances at her watch. "My my look at the time. I really need to get a move on." She gives me a meaningful look as she collects her purse. "I've got to get my shoes polished. I'll see you guys later."

Sango scampers off leaving the perfect little set up for Kouga and I. He watches her walk away, frowning. "She does realize she's wearing sneakers, right?"

I turn to look at him wondering if he really bought her lame excuse but his boyish grin lets me know he's only teasing.

"Even I could do better than that," he brags, "but it was original."

"She left us. I think we should be insulted." I chuckle.

His blue eyes twinkle. "I'm not. I get some quality time with you. I'd say I faired out pretty good in this deal."

I can't help but blush. He so sweet and he always says the right thing. I know he's only trying to impress me right now but still, I like the attention. It feels good to be treated like I'm something special. I need it now that Inuyasha's thrown me away.

"You're a shameless flirt." I grin.

"Or maybe I'm about to ask you to go to the prom with me and I really want you to say yes."

"Kouga…"

"I know you've turned me down every other time I've asked you out but I figure if I'm persistent enough then one of these times you have to say yes. So if you say no to prom I'm still going to ask you again and again and again… So why don't you make it easy on both of us and go with me? Please?"

"That's your game plan, to wear me down?" I laugh.

He reaches over and grasps my hand, lifting it to his lips. "If I have to."

I giggle and pull my hand away, more than a little embarrassed.

"What do you say Kagome?" his smile turns downright sinful. "Come on. You know you want to."

I don't have a date. Sango will be with Miroku, Inuyasha will be with Itsuki, and Ayumi will be with Houjo… If I decline then I'll be tagging along with the others and I hate tagging along. But if I go with Kouga I might actually have a good time.

Why am I saying no?

"Well…" I look down, trying not to smile. "I guess I could go to the prom with you."

He blinks. Then slowly the smile on his face widens to where I think it's going to split it cheeks, it so big. "Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah, I'll go with you."

"I must be the luckiest guy in the world." He says excitedly as he leans over and plants a firm kiss on my lips.

It wasn't long or passionate but I blushed none the less. Stunned, I brought my fingers to my lips. "Kouga?"

He only smiles, ignoring my shock. "Since Sango ditched you how bout I give ride home, sweetheart?"

I nod and let him take my hand, pulling me to my feet. He leads me outside to the parking lot and doesn't release me until we reach his car. For the moment I'm feeling content.

Well I was, until I notice a certain golden eyed hanyou standing across the street watching us.

A.N. - The plot thickens. Next up… Prom night. Enjoy!