InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Possession ❯ Three ( Chapter 3 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Ten Years Earlier
He was hurting her.
Kagome grit her teeth and braced her back, trying to keep from being driven into the ground by her demon lover. He wasn't even pretending to be gentle this time, instead he was all over her like he had something to prove, some old score to settle. Kagome could only pray that it would be over soon before she had to beg him to stop.
It would be useless anyway; Inuyasha didn't feel compassion. He was a demon. She was just his bitch to use as he pleased, when he pleased, how he pleased. She bit her lip hard and willed herself not to scream or to plead with him to go easier on her frail human body.
She'd had a feeling it would be a long night, he'd been ignoring her during the days, disappearing into the woods for hours and suddenly appearing as soon as she ended her lonely day. Sometimes he had blood on his clothes and under his claws but she didn't dare ask what had happened.
She'd slipped Kaede's package into the bottom of her bag, hiding it under some old tattered clothes and the few bits and pieces of her former life. As badly as she wanted to make a run for the well, she held herself back. Inuyasha was suspicious, Inuyasha was flaming paranoid, and if she smelled of anyone other than Kaede he would have gone into a rage. If she didn't stay exactly where he'd wanted her, she could expect to be hunted down.
It was no way to live.
She'd been sitting by the fire that burned in their small hut, watching the flames dance. Maybe he wouldn't come back at all, maybe he would finally meet up with something more menacing than himself. She could only hope. So she'd felt a trace of disappointment when he'd finally bounded in the door, his hair standing up wildly from his head. Her nose wrinkled automatically, smelling the blood and she saw he was injured. He stalked over to her, glaring like it was her fault.
"What happened?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"Nothing," he barked, stripping off his haori and shirt. "Some idiots thought they could take me, followed me down to the caves by the river and attacked me when I wasn't looking."
"Who was it?" she asked, curious in spite of herself. "Demons?"
He grinned nastily. "No, humans this time. They weren't from around here, you wouldn't know them." He sat down, expecting her to clean the scratches. They'd heal on their own but he'd come to enjoy her attentiveness over the years. He said he liked the way it felt when she took care of him.
Ironic that he'd say that now, it would have been like pulling teeth to get him to admit it before. Silently, she cleaned the wounds that were already closing before her eyes. Then it occurred to her to think about what he'd said, the implications of his words. "Why would humans attack you?"
"Because I'm a demon, you stupid bitch," he yawned. She let the insult roll off her. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, she chanted to herself. Don't fight with him tonight. Still, the part of her that wanted to rescue the world wouldn't let her leave it alone.
"I don't understand,” she said timidly. “Humans usually run away from demons."
His bark of a laugh startled her and he turned around swiftly, launching himself at her and flattening her on the floor. She hissed when he bit her breast through her shirt.
"You're so naive, Kagome,” he purred into her chest. “So innocent and dumb. Humans should run away from demons if they're smart. These ones weren't that smart, they thought they could take me with their little spears and swords. Told me to keep my dirty youkai self out of their village and away from their women.”
He snorted in disgust. “Like I'd want one of their used up whores. I already have a woman. I couldn't just leave after they said that, I had to teach them a lesson."
"What kind of lesson?" she breathed. He growled into her neck, licking her throat with his long, rough tongue. She reached up and grabbed his hair in her fists. "Inuyasha, you didn't kill anyone, did you?"
He raised his head and looked at her. "Yeah, so what? They attacked me remember? The ones I let live will tell the others not to be so stupid."
"You didn't have to kill them," she said, tears prickling in her eyes.
"I wanted to," he said, his voice growing husky with lust, moving down her body until was kneeling over her. She gasped when he shoved his face between her legs, his claws digging into her hips.
"I wanted to kill them," he said as his attentions started to make her quake. "It felt good, almost as good as this feels right now."
Once upon a time, a girl loved a hanyou boy…
Her vision blurred as the pleasure started to take her apart. Kagome felt each of her bones break, her muscles tear and her skin wither and flake away. She was lost in a rising tide; she was drowning in a sea of her own weakness.
This has to stop, she thought, her mental voice weak and protesting. Her little blunt fingertips tried to dig into the rough wood of the floor, she'd have splinters in her butt if he didn't move her the thin futon that served as their bed. She hated him for this, hated him for touching her when she should revile him. It felt like she was betraying herself, losing herself, giving up.
Once upon a time there was a princess...
She jerked convulsively and clutched his hair. He pulled back and turned her away from him.
Once upon a time, a priestess was in love with the son of a demon…
Her mouth tasted like ashes, her wrists wouldn't stop trembling. Inuyasha pressed a fanged kiss between her shoulder blades and made her skin shiver in response. She was so lost she didn't even remember where she was going. Everything was upside down and inside out. It was more than she could deal with and she let her body go limp under his as Inuyasha stroked her hair and licked the back of her neck.
"Kagome," her mother said warmly, reaching out to take her daughter's hands. "Look at you, you're so beautiful I don't know what to say."
"Mama," she murmured as her mother embraced her. It felt better than she had remembered; it made her angry at herself about how long it had been since she'd seen her. Her mother never remonstrated her for it; that might have made Kagome feel less guilty if she had.
But Mrs. Higurashi wasn't like that, not at all. She'd worked long hours and driven herself to provide for her children. Her husband had died young, leaving her with a little insurance money and a lot of bills. They'd gotten by, living at her family's shrine and watching their luxuries. Then her daughter had turned fifteen and disappeared down a dank old well.
Kagome marveled at her mother, the serene and sweet expression that offered her only love and unconditional acceptance. She didn't know why her mother had ever let it continue. Sometimes she cursed the fact that she had.
Was I really so willful, she thought in amusement. What kind of mother would let her daughter run around with a temperamental half demon boy? Neglect her schoolwork, neglect her family obligations and give up all pretense of a normal teenage life. Her mother should have filled the well with cement, not tweaked his ears and made him blush like a little boy.
Her mother should have lectured her about sacrificing her grades for the nebulous reason of saving the world. Her mother should have been selfish and laid down the law that hell no, you aren't going anywhere with that rude young man. I will not have my daughter putting her life in such danger. But Kagome's mother had been a shrine maiden herself, raised by a father that liked to tell tall tales about the old ways.
Kagome had used to love those stories herself, thinking of jiichan's warm voice repeating them over her head when she was just a little girl. He'd whispered about monsters and dragons, fairy tales of heroes and villains, brave samurai and greedy landlords.
Thinking of that, a strange feeling started in the back of her throat and Kagome coughed to cover it up. The tight feeling felt suspiciously like a sob and it was also likely that she might just be reacting the sights and smells of childhood. She had loved her grandfather and she was here to pay her respects to him, not sob like a maudlin little child and wallow in grief.
Her mother squeezed her hand, knowing perhaps, that her daughter was fighting the emotions. Either that or thinking she'd caught a cold on the plane, Mrs. Higurashi was nothing if not practical. "Let's go inside, dear," she told her daughter. "I'll make you some tea."
Tea, she thought, wrinkling her nose. She preferred coffee, hot and steaming, very strong with just a splash of milk. Tea seemed insipid and didn't charge her in the morning. Fresh, rich coffee, island grown Kona, brewed in the early dawn so that the smell of it warmed every corner of her kitchen. Kagome smiled faintly as she accepted a cup from her mother, seeing the pale liquid with just a few leaves floating regally on the top.
It was a different pace of life; this wasn't her culture anymore. She felt like a prisoner that had been let out on parole only to be dragged back for some indiscretion. What that indiscretion had been, she couldn't be sure.
There was an ample enough list, Kagome thought wryly, sipping her tea and letting the calming aroma slow her anxious heart. Her eyes closed, giving herself over to it, the sensation of time slowing down. She didn't have to be strong right now, her mother was there and that was what really mattered.
"So how is Scott?" Mrs. Higurashi asked pleasantly, offering her daughter a small plate of cakes. "I'm sorry he wasn't able to make the trip with you, I so looked forward to seeing him."
Time cracked, she could feel the sand sifting out from under her feet. "He's fine," she said smoothly, not really giving a damn if it wasn't true.
"I'm sorry he couldn't get away from work," her mother said as she added a little hot water to the teapot. "What a shame for you to make the trip alone."
"Did you...speak to him?" Kagome asked, covering her consternation with her teacup. Damn him, did he call here? Was he crazy enough to track me down to my mother's?? Damn that stupid, irresponsible....
"I'm sorry, my dear," Mrs. Higurashi said. "I was anxious about what time your flight was arriving so I called your office. That kind Grace of yours told me that you took the first flight as soon as news reached you. She said your husband would have liked to accompany you, but was otherwise obligated."
Silently, she praised her secretary's resourcefulness. She wasn't ready to talk about the fact that she had divorced her husband. Actually, she wanted a few hundred miles of sea between her and her mother when she broke the news. And her mother didn't need to hear it, not right now. Scott's lack of husbandly qualities and her infidelity were hardly the conversations she wished to have over her grandfather's shroud. Time spiraled in again and Kagome pulled the cords tight. She could do this.
They talked about the weather for a bit, then a lengthy complaint session about Souta's grades. Kagome grinned, enjoying her mother's company as her mother recounted her impression of Souta's latest girlfriend.
"She has purple hair, Kagome. Purple hair!"
And Inuyasha had dog-ears, Kagome thought with a wicked grin. She wondered if Souta and jiichan had been the ones to listen to her mother's impression of that. It wasn't like she could have complained about it to her friends.
My daughter is in love with a hanyou, she follows him around five hundred years in the past and does battle with evil demons.
Other women got to brag about their daughters' grades, their daughters' accomplishments. What had she given her mother at that age? My daughter can purify a host of youkai and still flunked biology.
It was getting late and Kagome was beginning to think of calling for her car. Grace had made reservations for her in a trendy hotel; she was looking forward to unwinding by herself and started to make her apologies when her mother's stricken face caught her attention.
"You can't be serious, Kagome! You don't need to stay in a hotel, we have plenty of room for you here."
"Mama, I've already made arrangements. I don't want to impose on you." That seemed safe, that seemed polite. How could her mother object to such a reasonable explanation?
Mrs. Higurashi stood up and started rewashing the dishes in the sink. Kagome watched her narrowly, frowning at the stiff line of her mother's shoulders. "Mama?"
"You haven't been home in almost seven years, Kagome. I don't think I'm asking too much of you to stay here for a few days. It's just that the house feels so empty with your grandfather gone."
"Souta," she said weakly. Her brother still slept here often, complaining of his dorm mates that liked to stay up all night playing video games and drinking cheap beer.
Her mother frowned at her. “He has finals this week, Kagome. I told him to stay at university to study. After all the complaining I did this semester, he's finally managed to bring his grades up. I can't ask him to commute for two hours in the morning and two hours at night because I'm scared to be alone.”
Already lost this battle, Kagome thought and was glad none of her colleagues would see her cave like a green intern under pressure. “All right, mama,” she sighed, her spine slumping in defeat. “I'll have my luggage sent here in the morning. But right now I'm dead tired and the jet lag is going to kill me. I think I'd just like a hot shower and then bed. We can talk more in the morning.”
“Of course,” Mrs. Higurashi said, snapping her fingers. Kagome grinned, recognizing the gesture as one of her own, the one she made when she'd just sealed a sweet deal. She suddenly felt much lighter, her spirit lifted by the simple act of making her mother happy.
It's been too long since I felt like this, she thought as she went up to her childhood bedroom. She still had her carry on bag and her laptop, too many years of travel habits were programmed in her mind.
It came in handy this time; there were items that Kagome's life didn't allow her to live without. Her cell, her PDA, her laptop with all the notes for her upcoming cases. A bottle of mouthwash and a travel sized toothbrush. Moisturizer and birth control pills. A change of clothes, comfortable shoes, and best of all, a bar of expensive, imported Swiss dark chocolate to chase away the blues. Whoever had said that only boy scouts came prepared had never encountered Kagome Higurashi.
Ten Years Earlier
After he'd fallen asleep, she made her move. Gritting her teeth, she dressed as quickly and quietly as she could. This was so dangerous; any minute the hard pounding of her heart might wake him. She was sore as hell between her legs but Kagome forced her mind to think about something else.
It doesn't matter, she told herself stubbornly. You have to go and you need to do it now before he figures out you're planning something.
Silent as a shadow, desperate as a promise, she ran through the forest. The moonlight sparkled on her pale skin, lighting the fever in her eyes. The well, she had to reach the well. What if he woke, what if she didn't make it? Kagome refused to think about that further and almost wept with relief when she finally reached the clearing and the old dry well that was no well, but a portal to the future and safety.
Whispering Kaede's instructions to herself, Kagome dropped next to the well and dug for the soft package of spells. Carefully, she laid the sutras on the lip of the well, one on each of the four sides. That was the trick, the well had to be sealed from both sides. Only sealing from the one side left a gap, an incomplete vibration in the magic.
She tucked the remaining wards into the waistband of her skirt, not wanting them to be parted from her skin. Kagome knelt and said the incantations that would begin the process, whispering the ancient words like a supplicant's plea, a condemned man's promises; a faithless woman's apologies.
Standing up, she readied herself for the one last jump that would free her. She took a deep breath, knowing she was about to shut the door on her life here, everything she'd experienced. It was about to be over, it had to be. Once she made the jump and finished the seal on the other side, the well wouldn't open again.
Not even she herself would be able to lift the seal. All a demon's rage and fury wouldn't lift it either, she would be safe, her family would be safe and she would never ever see Inuyasha again.
She had just taken a step towards the well when the blow came from behind. He hit her hard enough to crack her skull, sending her small frame crashing hard into the ground. Her head rang with bells, her ears full of static and white noise. She was barely conscious when cruel hands seized her from behind, hauling her up against a hard chest and a rough voice ground itself like doom into her ear.
"Going somewhere, bitch?"
He spun her around, bruising her shoulders. "You think I didn't know what you and the old bat were planning?" he shouted right in her face. "You think I'm stupid, you think you can hide anything from me? I could smell deceit on you, bitch, you reek of it. Even between your legs you reek of nothing but lies!"
"Stop it," she cried, tearing at his wrists. He was so much stronger than her and even from the beginning she hadn't known how to resist him. If she hadn't had the rosary to control him, she might never have lived long enough to fall in love with him. He shook her hard and her head snapped back on her neck like it belonged on a broken doll.
Oh dear gods, he was going to kill her this time, Kagome could see her broken body left lying beside the well, she could see her blood on his fists. She had nothing left to lose and concentrated every last ounce of her spiritual strength into her hands and grabbed his wrists as hard as she could. There was a sizzle and a yelp before Inuyasha dropped her, waving his hands like they'd been burned.
Outraged, he glared down at her. "You tried to purify me!"
Kagome pushed herself up grimly. "I'd say you need it! Look at yourself, Inuyasha! Look at what you've done; listen to what you've been saying. Is this what you wanted when you used the jewel, is this what you dreamed of?"
She was astonished, it seemed like her words were reaching him. Instead of coming after her again, he stopped and stared up at the sky. "No," he said quietly. "It's not what I thought it would be."
Hardly daring to breathe, Kagome held herself still. The moonlight lit his face, washing over his hair in silver radiance, making his eyes shine like jewels. His shoulders slumped, his ears laid back flat on his head. His voice was so soft she had to strain herself to hear it, if she hadn't seen his lips move she might have thought his words were a dream of her own imagination.
Inuyasha's smile was bitter as he glanced back at Kagome. "I never thought I'd drive you away."
She swallowed and slowly pulled herself to her feet. She still felt lightheaded and her feet were uncertain, her knees wobbly and confused. "I never thought you'd make me scared of you," she said, making her tone full of regret.
"Am I so terrible?" he asked, turning to face her. "Damn it, Kagome, I didn't mean for this to happen. It's just so much I can't stand it. Something's burning inside my head, talking to me, telling me crazy things. I don't know what to believe is real anymore. I think I'm going nuts."
She moved closer, hands clasped in front of her chest. "You have to fight it. I still believe in you, Inuyasha. I never stopped."
His head dropped, his hair fanning over his face as he turned away from her. "Maybe it would be safer if you did go away for awhile. At least then you'll be safe from me. I don't want to hurt you, Kagome."
She went to him and reached for him, putting her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. "You won't," she breathed, ecstatic. "And I'll still be here for you, no matter what."
His arm curved around her and Kagome closed her eyes in relief. Inuyasha buried his face in her hair; she could feel his warm breath whisper over her throat. His grip grew tighter, more possessive and a trace of worry raced up her backbone. "Inuyasha?"
He didn't answer, but crushed his forearms across her back until she cried out. "You're breaking my back," she wailed, grabbing at his hair.
"I know," he hissed and she saw redness glinting in his eyes. "It hurts, doesn't it, bitch? Maybe next time you'll think before trying to run away from me."
Kagome sagged in his arms. "You...you just said..."
He grinned at her with sharp fangs. "I lied."
Inuyasha grunted as she fought against him, finally pushing her back with his fist buried in her shirt. Then he slapped her, an open palmed strike that was only a fraction of his true strength but still sent shocks of burning pain across her face. She went numb and something inside of Kagome Higurashi died in that moment.
She didn't feel a thing anymore; all the connections between her heart and her mind and her body had been severed in that one sharp second of betrayal. She barely noticed as he bent her over the side of the well, preparing to take her hard and violent.
"I'm not going to stop this time," he hissed into her ear. "You're going to learn or you're going to die from it."
I choose to die then, Kagome thought fuzzily. I would have died for you, Inuyasha.
Inuyasha snarled as he was unexpectedly blinded, a killing rage evolving in his eyes. "Shippou, you little bastard!" He dropped Kagome and turned to chase after the lightning fast kitsune.
"Kagome!" The little fox dodged the angry inuyoukai and ran past the stunned human girl. "Go down the well, get away from him while you can!"
"I'm going to kill you, runt," Inuyasha spat, his claws looking long, sharp and deadly. Pure demon essence was pouring off him and Kagome suddenly saw her lover for what he truly was, for what he had become. A true demon with all the pitiless cruelty and all the vicious desires of his kind.
"Shippou, no!" she screamed.
Shippou cried out frantically when Inuyasha's hand closed on his tail. He swung the fox hard into a tree, stunning him. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this," Inuyasha cried out joyously.
Blood was trickling from the kitsune's nose and mouth when Inuyasha cocked back his fist and drove it hard into the boy's face. Then he dropped Shippou's unconscious body on the ground and turned to Kagome with murder in his face.
Kagome closed her eyes. She didn't know if Shippou was alive, if he was dead it was her fault. Shaking her head, she couldn't look at Inuyasha as he bore down on her, couldn't face him. She didn't want to ever see that look in his eyes again. It was just a bad dream, just a nightmare.
There was no kitsune to bravely sacrifice his life; there was no hanyou to be driven insane by a corrupt jewel of power. There had never been a monk or a demon slayer to have their lives ended too short. There was no priestess who was weak and diseased by longing and doubt.
There was no rosary. There was no jewel. There was no Kagome. Only a dark void that called her in a voice seductive as a golden-eyed glance, irresistible as a demon's hot kisses on her skin. She was backed against the edge of the well; it would be a simple thing now to fall inside.
One hand strayed to her waist where Kaede's sutras had remained safe. Assured of her path, like she'd never given her soul away in the first place, like it didn't burn her heart to have it all end like this, Kagome smiled and leaned back.
And she fell.