InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Rain ❯ Rain ( One-Shot )

I don't own Inuyasha or Evanescence - but damn I would love a voice like Amy Lee's

It was almost over and she knew it.

She knelt there listening to her CD player; staring down into the dark depths. And it hurt. She knew that when it was all over, she would leave and he would die. He would go to her and she would be alone.

Now I will tell you what I have done for you

50 thousand tears I've cried

Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you

And you still wont hear me

Don't want your help this time I'll save myself

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Wiping at her tears, she hit the queue button on her CD player and it shuffled through the songs on her mix CD. She sighed, but the emptiness in her heart still hurt. After all these years it still hurt, and she could take no more, her heart could not take any more abuse. But she needed to at least say goodbye to him, one last time. She needed to give him the remnants of what kept her with him and say her final goodbyes, to him and the rest of them. She jumped.

Long lost words whisper slowly to me

Still can't find what keeps me here

When all this time I've been so hollow inside

I know you're still there

She jumped through the darkness, through time. Reaching her destination she climbed up the familiar vines. But what she saw tore her heart in half. There they were, as plain as sunshine that speckled between the trees around them. She looked at them, gray eyes lifting to ice cold blue. And she watched as they kissed, and her heart plummeted. She reached up and grabbed her necklace of shining pink shards and ripped it off. Letting it slide between lifeless fingers, she faintly heard it drop into the grass. And she let go. Pushing herself backward, back through time and space, to where she had just left. She hit the queue button.

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I've come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

I've been living a lie

There is nothing inside

Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love

Darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought without a voice without a soul

Don't let me die here there must be something more

Bring me to life

She ran from the well to her familiar tree, Goshinboku, all her internal strength gone. And she cried, sobbed her agony. Poured her heart out to it, to the mark left by him five hundred years ago. She knew it was over and there was nothing left, no room for her in his heart. When she finally turned around, her heart was dead, her eyes lifeless and soul was broken. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied Christ?

Tourniquet

My suicide

"Sayonara Inuyasha, sayonara" she whispered to no one but herself and turned and walked down the shrine stairs just as it began to rain.

~~~

`Its been three years since Kagome fell through the well and broke the seal that had kept me asleep on Goshinboku for fifty years' Inuyasha mused to himself as he awaited her return impatiently. For three years it had been like this, she would run off to her school and he would wait not so patiently for her return, often going through the well himself to fetch her, complaining the entire time. In reality he hated it when she was not here with him. Complaints of her lateness and fights over her leaving were all just a cover to the real reason why he hated to see her go. When she was not around, he missed her, more than he had cared to admit until now. He missed her scent, her voice, hell; he even missed the way the sun sparkled in her eyes and hair. She seemed so alive and her drive for life kept him going even when he was bleeding to death. Over three years he had protected her, gotten beaten up for her, bleed for her, and even cried for her.

`And I would not have changed a thing even if I could' he thought to himself.

Kagome may have looked like his former love, but in reality he knew she was so much more, he just did not want to admit it even to himself. Sniffing the air gently for her scent, he caught a scent that for the first time in his life, he wanted to run from it.

"Inuyasha?"

"Kikyo, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha asked as he turned his back to the well to face her.

"I came to see you" she replied softly.

"Kikyo you don't belong here" he replied just as softly, though he knew that this forest was just as much hers as it was his. This was her home fifty-three years ago, but that was before she had died after sealing him to the Goshinboku tree.

"Why Inuyasha?"

"Just because. Kikyo just go"

"No."

That did it. He had had enough. She had been resurrected almost three years ago, only a few months after Kagome had released his seal, but this was absurd. For three more years she had tormented him with his promise to go to hell with her, and before they had both died, she had tormented him with his promise to become human for her. But enough was enough. For the last three years, being a hanyou was good enough. For the last three years, six people and youkai thought that being a hanyou was good enough. More importantly to one of those six, it just didn't matter what he was, human, hanyou, or even a mindless youkai; all that mattered was he was Inuyasha.

"Kikyo its time for you to move on" his words seemed gentle for the rage burning behind those golden eyes.

"Move on?"

He exploded "Move on Kikyo. You don't belong here anymore. You're dead! You no longer smell human, or even alive. You smell of death, decay, and earth. You don't belong here any more. You are just a shell for the tiny bit of your soul that's left!"

Her voice never raised above that hollow whisper. "Are you going to break your vow to me Inuyasha? Why? Because of some slip of a girl who just so happens to have my face? Is she my replacement?"

"No! Kagome is so much more that you ever were Kikyo. She lives, and loves to live. She never judged me, never thought that I was some lowly half-youkai pup. I never need to change for her. I just wish I had realized that sooner. It's time I stopped acting like a spoiled pup and grew up Kikyo," he railed at her.

"So she is my replacement," she replied softly.

"No! No one can replace you Kikyo. But this body is a lie. You died when I was sealed." He shook her shoulders for emphasis.

"So it is acceptable for you to live but not for me Inuyasha?"

"You sealed me, you didn't kill me. You died. You were cremated. This shell that you wear is just made of clay and burial soil. The Kikyo I knew died fifty-three years ago, killed by my image. You should have let go when you found out that Naraku had used my image to kill you, yet you remain, clutching to your hatred of me. Yet you professed that you love me? Love means you need to trust in the other, but that obviously wasn't true of us now was it Kikyo?" Inuyasha stated angrily. Kaede and the others had told him as such many times over the last three years, but he never really understood it until now. Now that he knew what love really was, and who he was really in love with. It had just taken him much too long to figure it out.

"So you think you are in love with that girl?" she spat out. "I loved you! You promised you would come with me to hell!"

"Kikyo I can't."

"You can not or you will not?"

"I wont. Not anymore, things have changed. I'll kill Naraku for you, as I promised, and I will put you to rest; but I'm not following you to hell. My place is here, with my friends."

"I see how it is Inuyasha," she said softly. Her eyes lifted to stare at something over his shoulder and smirked. She stepped up close to him and hugged him, as he stood stiff in her arms. "Just one last kiss goodbye Inuyasha?"

He nodded stiffly as she leaned towards him and gently kissed him, her eyes still staring over his shoulder, letting her lips linger overly long. When he pushed her away, she summoned her youkai. "You may not have that girl much longer Inuyasha," she said with a laugh as her youkai wrapped around her and lifted her off the ground.

"What the fuck?" Inuyasha spat out at her as he whirled around. His nose caught Kagome's scent, though it seemed that it had only been there for a moment. The he saw it lying in the grass.

Kagomes' pieces of the Shikon no Tama.

"Shit!" he spat out as he ran for the well, scooping up the necklace on the way.

~~~

It was raining pretty hard, but Kagome did not feel it as she walked. Part of her knew where she was going, but she was blind and deaf to everything around her. When she reached her destination, she swung her legs over the railing and sat on it, her legs hanging over the water as she stared into it, watching the rain hit the surface. She slowly began to sing as her CD player played.

Where will you go?

With no one left to save you from yourself

You can't escape the truth

I realize that you're afraid

But you can't abandon everyone

You can't escape

You don't want to escape

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands

Is it clear enough that you can't live you're whole life all alone

I can hear you in a whisper

But you can't even here me screaming

Inuyasha stared at her back as she sung. He did not understand what she was saying, but he could feel the sadness in her voice. He knew that she had seen Kikyo kiss him; that much was obvious to him; however he doubted that she had heard the conversation that had come before it. She would not have been sad if she had. He had a good feeling that she was also in love with him; otherwise she would not have been so upset every time he went running to Kikyo. He also knew from her defeated posture, that if he did not do something soon, he might lose her forever.

Determined, he walked up behind her. "The Kagome I know would never be sitting here contemplating suicide."

Kagome looked up in shock, letting the headphones slip from her head to her neck. "What?" she asked brokenly.

"Kagome what are you doing here?" he asked softly.

"Inu… Inuyasha? What are you doing here?"

"I came to find you," he stated simply. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to think."

Inuyasha lifted her from her precarious perch on the bridge railing and set her firmly on her feet. "You came to think here?"

"I had to get away. Inuyasha there is only so much heart ache I can take and I've taken more than my fair share." She was hysterical and she knew it, she hated it, hated herself for being so weak. Through all the battles, all the arguments, she had always stood her ground, yet now, staring into his liquid gold eyes, she faltered. "I've shed enough tears for you," she said softly.

"You've shed too many tears for me. You've sacrificed too many years of your life for me, and its unacceptable." He lifted her chin to stare into her lifeless eyes, all of her never-ending hope seemed to have faded, and it was all because of him. "You know I'm an idiot, Kagome."

She sighed and tore her chin from his hand and turned around, putting her back to him, and her face to the ground. "Just go away Inuyasha."

"No."

She turned her head to look at him in shock.

"I won't leave you Kagome. Not now, not ever."

She turned to face him again. "Why? Why can't you just go? Go and leave me in peace! I wish I had never met you!" she railed at him as she hit his chest with her fists.

His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. He buried his nose in her wet hair. "I can't," he whispered. "I can't just let you go. I can't forget you. When you aren't with me, I miss you so much it hurts. When you get hurt it breaks my heart. And I'm so stupid that for three years I pushed you away because I was afraid. I was afraid of falling in love again, afraid that I would lose you."

"Why Inuyasha? Why?"

"Because I love you. Because it took me three years to realize that I had everything I needed right under my nose and I ignored it. But I can't, I can't ignore it anymore. You are my strength, my will to live. No matter what form I'm in, I know that you only see me."

"Don't lie to me Inuyasha, I'm just your shard detector Inuyasha."

"Bullshit. Your arrows have saved all of our asses many times. How many times would we have died if you hadn't been there? You keep us all together as a group no matter how many times I insult them."

"Inuyasha… please stop" she whispered.

"I can't Kagome."

"Inuyasha I can't take anymore of this, I am just Kikyo's…" the rest of her words were swallowed by his lips covering hers in a desperate kiss.

When he pulled away he whispered "can't you see how much I love you? Not her, you. You and Kikyo are worlds apart. Even when she was alive she didn't know how to live, but you, you live and you love it. It sparkles in your eyes. Your smiles are real."

"Inuyasha, I…"

"Just shut up and listen Kagome." Kagome shut her mouth with a snap. "For the first time in my fucking life I'm talking to someone, the one person who I know I can trust, not just with my life, but with my heart. Do you understand that?"

"Inuyasha…" she looked down for a moment and took a deep breath. When she lifted her eyes to his, her eyes no longer seemed so dead, as if the life that had been drained from her had been given back. "Aishiteru Inuyasha" she whispered, moments before she leaned up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He instantly wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed her back. When they pulled back they were both gasping. She snuggled her head into the curve of his neck as he dropped his nose into her wet hair. They stood there just like that until the rain ebbed, and when it did, they both looked up, to see a rainbow peek out from between the clouds.

"A new beginning ne, Inuyasha?" she asked softly.

"Aa. A new beginning," he replied.