InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sakura ❯ Of Naming and Its Folly ( Chapter 3 )

 

Sakura chapter 3: Of Naming and Its Folly

 

One cold night, standing alone in the front yard of her house, Kagome remembers him and she is struck by the irreversible differences between her and the one she had never meant to fall in love with. She wonders how much he has thought about it. She wonders if he knows the ending. The human miko and the youkai lord. The mortal and the immortal.

 

She looks at the inky black sky; dark and full of stars today. No moon, no clouds. And she thinks, he is all things dark - stormy skies and endless winters.

 

Somewhere not far away, in the peaceful darkness of the forest, Sesshoumaru also looks at the starlit sky and thinks that she is all things light - sunlit fields on a late summer morning and cherry blossoms on the waiting wind. The colors of her powers are soft pink and lavender although she wears white and green.

 

He makes his way to Kagome's hut although it is late. But he knows she will be awake. On this restless, cold night, he knows she would not be able to sleep.

 

Kagome feels his youki coming closer long before she can see him. The colors of his youki are black and gold, although he wears white and red.

 

Then she can see him, white silk faintly glowing in the moonless night, eerie golden eyes looking at her steadily, unblinkingly, as he comes close to her. Everyone says he is unreadable, but she can read him so well, that at times he wonders why he lets her. He is Ruthless. Invincible. Heartless.

 

“No,” she says softly, as he comes to stand half facing her, “never that.” He wishes that was not true.

 

“Do not seek to be close to me,” he whispers, inhuman golden eyes glowing, “for I am cold. I have lost the warmth of fire long ago and now, all that is left is burning.”

 

I am cold because I have seen too much and burning because it was not enough and I fear if you seek to touch me, you will be hurt. Inuyasha…Inuyasha was fire and warmth and you deserve him.

 

But he doesn't say all this. Instead, he says, “You deserve better.”

 

She hears him anyway. She takes his hand and says quietly, “Let me be close to you, because I am Light and I will not burn. I have suffered more than the misfortune. I deserve you.”

 

I will not be burnt by your cold because I have been cold for so long, so long. And now I am tired of suffering nothing at all, and if you are with me, perhaps I can forget and remember and you will know that it was never meant to be like this. You will know that it couldn't have happened any other way.

 

He draws away and when he looks at her, his eyes are haunted with crimes past and memories undone and regrets unforgotten. The inhuman things that a demon does; all the things a demon does not regret; all the things that caused so much pain and so many endings and he will never be forgiven for them because he does not know how to ask for forgiveness.

 

“Do not forget my true nature, miko,” he warns. “Beauty and perfection are illusions. I am a demon.”

 

When she looks at him, her eyes are of one who has seen too much in nothing. “They always are. Do not forget that I have learnt my lesson. I am a healer.”

 

Yes, a healer. She has healed many and helped many and saved many; she has seen all that people need to be saved from, healed from and it has left her so hollow, because it was never enough and old wounds always reopen so what was the point? The illusion of healing and the ugliness of death - but he is the Killing Perfection and how can they possibly be together?

 

Miko and youkai stare each other down and in between them, the chasm of their differences yawns and widens. They are sun and moon. They are ice and air. They can never meet, be one. And now, there is no going back.

 

The stars wink at them, mocking them, as if to say, you know it will never work. There is too much that needs to be forgiven and you are no longer strong enough to do it. For your crimes, for your mistakes, you will be an unfinished story.

 

They remember, all the reasons why it shouldn't happen and isn't it strange how those are so easily remembered? They remember why they shouldn't. Because it has happened before and has it ever gone right? No or they would never be here- together and incomplete. Because they still have burdens to bear but nothing, no task to complete because that is all over and what is left now? Their lives.

 

They turn to each other slowly, afraid to make that decision to run away. They have both never run away before, and so they don't know how, but this time, this time, maybe they should learn. Those who run away always have something to do, unlike these two who have done what they had to do.

 

They look at each other and when their eyes meet, they remember all the reasons why this is wrong.

 

Then they laugh.

 

…at the absurdity of Naming. She remembers - the demon who wielded the Sword of Life and Death, the demon who passed descended into hell to rescue a little girl who loved him. The man who broke the sword of hatred, the man who challenged his fate and won, but all that mattered most was still lost. The Taiyouka who surpassed Inu no Taisho, the one overcame a lot of demons; the world's and his own. The man who was destined for greatness but now he was this.

 

He remembers- The miko who carried a darkness in her soul. The Light who had lost a lot and now, inside, was as dark as him. The priestess who never believed in god. The girl from the future who chose to live in the past. The powerful miko who befriended a youkai.

 

The honorable demon and the jaded priestess. They were the sun and the moon. Demon and healer. The one who killed and the one who gave life. Ice and air. Unbreakable and fragile. But which one was which?

 

The differences are only in Name. His hand slowly seeks out hers and she closes her fingers around his.

 

The darkness of the chasm shatters into a thousand crystalline pieces like the unmendable remnants of a forgotten mistake.

When his hand closes around hers, for that moment, they are whole again and they think, just for that, it is worth it.

 

Kagome and Sesshoumaru link hands and gaze at the stars.