InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Definition of Normal ❯ Life's Little Speed Bumps ( Chapter 1 )

Full Summary:

 

Trapped into a life that she doesn't really want because of obligation to her family, Kagome resigns herself to having a boring life taking care of the shrine. Feeling guilty and responsible for his granddaughter's happiness, her grandfather tries to help her in the only way he can think of: by finding her a man! Annoyed by his disastrous matchmaking attempts and determined to prove that she doesn't need a man to be happy, Kagome is horrified when one of the 'attempts' decides that he is going to stick around whether she likes it or not (for reasons of his own). How in the world will Kagome ever manage to get rid of him?

 

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Disclaimer: Don't you ever get tired of having to say you don't own Inuyasha, when you really wish you did? Me too! Why don't we go against the system, and say something else for a change? We should get to say what we wanna say and forget the consequences! Are you with me?

 

::Dead silence::

Uh, hello? Is anyone out there? Aw, you guys are no fun...

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The Definition of Normal
Chapter One

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"Ten, nine, eight, seven..." Kagome counted out loud, staring at the ground around the hem of her traditional shrine clothing. As she counted, the scraping sound of a broom against stone kept time with her voice as she did her morning chore of sweeping the steps. She seemed to be waiting for something in particular to happen. "...three, two, one..."

Just after her voice called out the final number, a sudden, mysterious projectile went flying close by her head and crashed into a nearby tree. Any normal person should have been at least startled by the close call, but Kagome didn't even blink at the near concussion. Instead, she calmly waved and smiled at the paperboy standing at the bottom of the shrine steps before moving to collect the now slightly damaged morning paper. That kid had a really great throwing arm for his age. But then, he was probably a youkai, which would explain it.

"On time, as always." She sighed, shaking her head.

Trying to ignore the pathetic feeling she was getting for knowing the paperboy's habits down to the exact second that he would arrive, Kagome walked towards the house once she safely had the paper in hand.

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"Oh, you brought me the paper! How kind of you!"

As soon as Kagome entered the house, a greedy hand attempted to snatch the newspaper away from her.

"Yeah, right!" In response to the attempted thievery, Kagome stuck the paper in the front of her robes and smirked as she continued on towards the kitchen. "You know this paper is for Grandpa, not you. So hands off!"

Attempting to look his most pitiful, Miroku followed Kagome into the kitchen and watched as she placed an apron over her clothes and started making breakfast for her family. He was hoping that she would need to put the paper down at some point, but his chances were looking slim as she seemed perfectly capable of cooking with the unnatural bulge in the front of her clothing.

For once he was eyeing her chest for some reason other than to stare at her breasts.

"Can I at least have one section?" He attempted a compromise.

"No."

"Kagome!"

"Miroku!" She mimicked, annoyed with his whining but not backing down. "You know I'm not going to let you touch this paper! The last time I let you get your hands on it before Grandpa could read it, he lectured me about disrespecting the elderly for days!" She huffed, the air from her mouth causing her bangs to ruffle. "I'd rather not suffer through that again, thank you."

Miroku's face brightened at the memory. "Ah, I remember that! After he lectured us all on proper respect and manners, he fought with me over the paper and we ended up ripping it in half. He wanted that delectable picture just as much as I did..." He trailed off, thinking of the photo they had been fighting over. It had featured a group of high school girls wearing some of the most revealing uniforms he had ever seen as they proudly sported a trophy over their heads for some unimportant accomplishment or another. Miroku might have found out what the trophy was for, had he bothered to actually read the accompanying article.

Kagome just groaned in response, not really caring to be reminded of how dysfunctional her family - as well as her free-loading friends - could be.

While Miroku was still lost in his fantasies of school girls in skimpy uniforms, Kagome's grandfather entered the room followed by Kagome's mother. Souta was obviously running late again.

"Miroku, what are you doing here so early?" The lady of the household glanced in surprise at the young man in question, who was currently watching Kagome hand her grandfather his newspaper with a forlorn gaze. No one batted an eyelash at the fact that Kagome had to reach down behind the front of her apron to get it.

"I'm not really here all that early, Mitsuki-san" he replied, looking sheepish "since I never actually left."

"Ah, I should have guessed." Kagome's mother nodded as if Miroku hanging around their house all night was a common occurrence. Actually, it was...

"Why can't you hang around your own home for a while and leave us alone?" Kagome's grandfather complained as he sat down with his paper. "I'm sure your father has plenty of chores you could be doing around his temple, so why do you insist on working here instead of there?"

Miroku smiled and helped himself to a sample of what Kagome was cooking, barely escaping getting his hand smacked. "There are so many advantages to working here instead of my family's temple! I get the benefit of your great wisdom, Tomita-san, as well as the healthy family environment that I so sadly missed as a child."

Kagome snorted. "You left out the fact that we get more attractive foreign female tourists here."

Miroku nodded seriously. "That too, of course. How could I possibly forget?"

Sighing, Kagome once again cursed her family's propensity to meddle in her life. If it weren't for them, she wouldn't have to deal with Miroku every waking moment of her miserable existence. If it weren't for them, she never would have even MET Miroku in the first place!

It had all started because Kagome's family was - well, to put it bluntly - dirt poor. Between the income of the shrine and her mother's job as a secretary for a small local business, they managed to keep themselves going, but that was about all. Mostly because keeping up the shrine took almost as much money as they earned from it just to keep it running. It was so old that they were constantly making repairs.

But as much of a hassle as the shrine was, they just couldn't bring themselves to get rid of it. After all, it was practically a part of the family in its own way.

Because of their tight financial situation, however, Kagome couldn't go to college. Even if she could have earned some sort of scholarship, that would have left no one able to look after the shrine and help her grandfather. He was just too old to do it on his own anymore, and they couldn't afford competent, full-time help. All they could afford was Miroku, who worked when needed to help Kagome out with some of the more difficult tasks that she couldn't do on her own, and took his payment in food and the right to free-load as much as he could possibly get away with.

But his helping around the shrine wasn't originally why he was introduced to Kagome. No, he'd been brought into her life by the greatest of all horrors...A blind date set up by her grandfather.

Kagome grimaced at the memory of that disastrous date, giving Miroku's hand a particularly vicious slap when he tried to steal another bite of food as she was cooking.

"My, someone seems to be in a bad mood today." He stepped back to a safe distance and gave her a questioning look, his eyes glowing with a humor that his serious facial expression didn't mirror. "Is someone experiencing a bit of sexual frustration, perhaps? What kind of dreams did you have last night?"

"Wh-what?!?!? You - I mean, I w-wasn't-" Kagome was spluttering in denial and severe embarrassment, while her mother had a very suspicious coughing fit behind her hand and her grandfather was turning so red he looked as if he were about to explode.

Before anything else could be said, though, Souta suddenly came running into the room with a harried expression and officially ended the inappropriate conversation before it could really begin.

"Good morning!" He cried, snatching the back of one of the chairs and pulling it out with a jerk, nearly making it topple over. Everyone watched with amusement as he started to inhale the food Kagome placed in front of him.

"Over-sleep again, Souta?" His mother shook her head. "You need to stop staying up so late every night. Studying is important, but-"

"But I need to study, mom! If I don't, I won't be able to get into a good school and then one day I'll end up like Miroku, living off my girlfriend's family!" His eyes suddenly widened, and he gave the older boy a guilty look, not having noticed he was in the room previously. "Uh, what I meant was-"

"I am NOT his girlfriend!" Kagome shouted, pointing a chopstick at her brother and cutting him off before he could backtrack and attempt to make amends. "As if I'd ever date someone like him!"

Souta blinked. "But you DID date him!"

"Yeah, ONCE. But did you ever see me go out with him again?"

"Well, no..." He looked unsure. "So, if you guys aren't dating, then why is he still hanging around and groping you all the time?"

Kagome gave Miroku a sour look before intentionally turning her back. "Because he won't go away, that's why."

Miroku only looked vaguely offended at the whole discussion, since similar conversations seemed to happen at least once a week as a matter of course. Everyone always debated exactly why he hung around as much as he did, as if Kagome and he were actually having some sort of secret affair that they wouldn't confess to anyone about. No one really believed they were, but it was fun to tease Kagome about it because she always reacted so strongly.

Once everyone was settled at the table with their morning meals in front of the them, the room became quiet as everyone concentrated on their food, and in Kagome's grandfather's case, the morning news. The only sounds that could be heard were the occasional rustling of paper, and Miroku's foot as he tapped it merrily on the floor.

The peace wasn't broken until Souta dashed from his chair and out of the room with a hasty goodbye.

"So..." Mitsuki-san stood up to clear away the dishes belonging to her and her only son. "What does everyone have planned to do today?"

Miroku opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Kagome. "Well, I had thought to clean out the storage room, but since Miroku's here so early today, he can do it!" She turned towards her victim with a smile that would have been completely angelic to anyone who didn't know her well, but Miroku could see the underlying threat. Apparently she was still mad at him over the dream comment. "You will, won't you?"

He gulped nervously. "Ah, of course I will, if you wish it..."

"Great!" The smile suddenly turning sincere (rarely could she stay mad for long), Kagome stood up to finish the dishes so her mother could leave for work. "That means I'll have plenty of time today to work on the budget and ordering supplies. Will you be okay looking after any guests we have, Grandpa?"

The elderly man looked up from his paper. "Huh? Oh, of course! What do you take me for, some old fool who can't do things for himself?"

"Of course not." Kagome hid a smile at her grandfather's attitude by turning back to the sink. "I just thought I would check with you first in case you had any other plans for the day."

"Good!" The old man nodded in satisfaction and sat quietly until everyone finished saying their goodbyes to Mitsuki-san, since she had to head off to work. Once the front door closed and the room was quiet save for the sound the dishes as they were washed and put away, his eyes zeroed in on his granddaughter's back intently. Best to get things over with while Kagome seemed to be in a good mood. "Now, Kagome, before we start work, there's something important that I have wanted to talk to you about for a while now..."

Miroku's eyes widened, and he swiftly turned to stare at a now very still Kagome. Maybe he should run while he had the chance?

If there was anything in the world that was guaranteed to turn even one of Kagome's best moods completely foul, it was those particular words from that particular person in that particular tone of voice. Those were the same words she'd heard from her grandfather just before the last time she'd suffered terrible humiliation, and Miroku knew that anyone who dared to remind her of it was just asking to die.

Thankfully, out of respect for her normally lovable grandfather, Kagome decided to quickly stop him from digging his grave any deeper.

"No! I flat out refuse!" She punctuated her words by slapping a hand in the dirty dishwater.

Miroku stifled a laugh as the elderly shrine keeper's jaw dropped, not used to his beloved granddaughter being so disrespectful. "But Kagome, you haven't even heard what I wanted to say!"

She turned around to glare at him. "I don't need to hear anything, because I'm positive that I know what you'll say. And I'm telling you now that I have no intention of going through with any more of your schemes! So just forget the matter entirely, okay? I'm going to go get the key to the storage room for Miroku."

Suddenly as cheerful as if nothing had been said on the matter, Kagome walked out of the room humming lightly to herself and left Miroku and her grandfather to stare behind her, too afraid to comment with her still within hearing range. As soon as they felt it was safe, though, Miroku leaned over to whisper near the old man's ear. "Do you think she's still just a bit upset that the last blind date you set up for her turned out to be gay?"

An irritated huff was the only response he got.

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Of all the nerve!

Kagome dropped her cheerful facade as soon as she was far enough away from the kitchen that no one would notice, and stormed into her grandfather's small room in the back of the house to get the keys she'd promised to Miroku.

"I can't believe he'd try to set me up on another blind date after what happened last time!" She hissed in a low voice, not talking to anyone in particular. She just felt the need to vent her feelings before heading back into the kitchen so that she wouldn't give in to the urge to rail on her own Grandfather. "He's crazy if he thinks I'll go along with it! Absolutely insane! No one in their right mind would ever even THINK about putting me in a situation like that again!"

Yanking open a small drawer where all the spare keys in the house were kept, Kagome rifled through them until she found the exact set she was looking for. Once they had been pulled out, Kagome took great satisfaction in slamming the drawer closed, knowing both men in the kitchen could probably hear it. Let her Grandfather feel guilty for making her life miserable...

A split second after that last thought, Kagome's anger wilted, and a truck load of guilt moved in to take its place.

'I shouldn't think like that. I know he doesn't really mean to make me so angry or miserable. He's just trying to make up for the burden that he and everyone else feel like they've placed on me by asking me to take over the shrine instead of getting to go to college and follow my dreams like all of my friends from high school.' She hung her head and sighed, feeling worse than ever for her earlier thoughts. 'He seems to think that the least he can do for me since I have no life outside of this shrine is to help me get out and have some fun, and perhaps find me someone to help with the shrine all in one shot.'

She smiled slightly, though it didn't really reach her eyes. "I really shouldn't be so hard on him, I guess, even if he is going about everything completely wrong. I've told everyone over and over that I don't need a man to be happy, but they all swear that's exactly what I need. Find a husband, have some kids...be more like a normal person."

'Honestly, though, I'm getting sick of being told that.' She frowned and fiddled with the keys in her hand, still standing in her grandfather's room. 'I know I'm becoming something of a recluse, hiding in the shrine all the time instead of going out with my friends like I used to, but I can't help it. I don't feel a connection with them anymore. It feels as if they've moved on and left me behind, and it's depressing. Miroku's about the only person my age I hang around with anymore, and that's mostly because he won't go away.'

She knew her family worried about her - a lot. But couldn't they see that she was fine with the way things were? She didn't need her friends to be happy, and she certainly didn't need a man. It's not like he could fix all the problems with her life...well, unless he was rich. But she very much doubted her Grandfather had any connections like that.

She truly smiled in amusement at that thought. No, her grandfather had no connections to anyone that might be able to help her. Just crazy old men like himself that had...interesting grandsons (or son, as was Miroku's situation). And really, the fact that they were available was no surprise at all after meeting them.

Cringing, Kagome once again unwillingly recalled the disaster that was her grandfather's most infamous attempt at setting her up with 'a nice young man.'

It hadn't been the first blind date he'd arranged for her, and one would think that after two or three small disasters, Kagome would have known better than to give in to him again. But her grandfather had an annoying habit if nagging at someone mercilessly until he got what he wanted, and she eventually gave in to him just to shut him up.

That had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Excited that she'd finally agreed, he'd rushed to get in contact with his friend to set up the date with his grandson. It was a bit difficult because the other man was a little hard of hearing, but when all was said and done, they were set to meet the next evening at a small restaurant not far from the shrine.

Now, she knew her grandfather could do some crazy things sometimes, and for the most part she could deal with whatever he dished out. That was just the way her grandfather was, and she'd learned how to deal with him at an early age when he would slap (useless) wards on any new playmate's forehead in an attempt to check for demon blood, or when he would go to her school and tell crazy stories to all the teachers and children, embarrassing her in front of everyone.

But really, nothing could have prepared her for what he'd plotted that day.

Everything had gone fine that evening up until she'd gotten to the restaurant, and she was even a bit nervous after thinking that perhaps, just once, maybe one of her grandfather's schemes might work out. Because even if she swore to everyone over and over that she didn't need a man, that didn't mean that she was totally against the idea. She just didn't want one for any of the wrong reasons. After all, she wasn't some helpless, pathetic girl that needed a man to survive. She could get along perfectly well on her own.

Kagome had ended up there a few minutes early, so she went ahead and sat down to wait for her date to arrive. They knew to expect him, and he was supposed to be brought to her table as soon as he arrived.

Time passed very slowly after that. It was no fun waiting for someone in such situations, because you couldn't help but think about little things that could possibly go wrong. What would he look like? Would he be ugly, cute, so-so? Would he be attracted to her? Would he be a snob, or really weird? The list was endless...

She had gotten so lost in her thoughts while waiting that she didn't notice when someone had walked up to her, or hear the gasp of shock that came from them.

"W-who the HELL are you??? Are YOU my blind date? Are you Higurashi-san?"

Kagome looked up at the surprisingly feminine voice, and began to get nervous as he/she stared at her in horror. "Er...yes..."

"But you're a WOMAN!"

Kagome never thought she'd live down that moment. The man (she'd later learned his name was Jakotsu) had shrieked her gender out in such a horrified voice that the whole restaurant got quiet and had turned to watch the little drama with interest.

She'd never been so humiliated!

Needless to say, she and Jakostu had parted on very poor terms after an extremely heated argument in front of everyone in the room about whose fault the whole mess was. He'd been expecting a man, and she'd been expecting a straight man. It wasn't a match made in heaven, that's for sure.

Later, after calming down and thinking about the whole situation more clearly and 'talking' with her Grandfather, she'd easily figured out what had happened. it was obvious that he'd plotted with his friend to help his poor, confused grandson, by hopefully introducing him to a nice girl that would set him straight...literally.

Kagome had fumed for days after finding that out. How could her grandfather have done something like that to her? It was cruel to set her up for guaranteed failure like that!

Clenching her fist so tightly that the key bit viciously into the palm of her hand, all of Kagome's previous guilt at the way she'd treated her Grandfather earlier vanished. The memory of her embarrassment was still too fresh in her mind for forgiveness quite yet.

"Sorry, Grandpa," Kagome suddenly shouted angrily "But I swear that I will never, EVER go out on another blind date as long as I live! Just see if I don't!"

Her only answer was the sound of hurried footsteps and the slamming of the kitchen door as both men cleared out of the house in fear of her wrath.

Kagome smiled.

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NOTES: The names chosen for Kagome's grandfather and mother weren't chosen for any special reason. 'Tomita' was suggested by a friend as a common Japanese male name, and 'Mitsuki' was selected from a list of common Japanese female names I found on the internet, just because it seems to fit her, at least in my opinion. Also, though I'm not planning to use a lot of Japanese words in this story, I will use certain things (honorifics, Inuyasha's 'Keh' and 'Oi', etc.) that I feel the characters just wouldn't sound the same without. And I will also be rather inconsistent with the usage and may interchange them with the English versions, depending on what sounds the best to me.

Okay, first chapter done! I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks! And I know Inuyasha hasn't shown up yet, but don't worry, when it does I can promise it will be worth the wait!