InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Horrible Hair Hullabaloo ❯ The Horrible Hair Hullabaloo part 3 ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

IDontKnow- Well -Regurgitates air pump. Covered in Yeech it is no longer the shiny red it used to be-

Here, I swallowed it because I got to pumping so hard on it I had to equalize the pressure in my ears.

Hmmmm. -Reaches deep into one of Faewillow's magic pockets and pulls out a miniaturization facility like the one in the movie Fantastic Voyage-

I wonder -checks all the hardware, and discovers the answer to his unspoken question. Flipping hundreds of switches and twiddling thousands of dials, IDK hums happily- There! That should do it!

-Rolling over to the platform, IDK gets down on his knees and puts his head under the beam!-

Since I set the thing in reverse, it should make my head large enough to fit my body in spite of Naraku's spell! I am so tired of sounding like Billy Brady!

-Activating the unit with his remote control (courtesy of Faewillow's OTHER pocket!) IDK ponders the fact that it is working.-

<POP! IDK's head returns to normal>

IDontKnow- Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I can't turn it off!

-After a desperate battle to get out from under the beam, IDK's head, like the heart of the Grinch, not only returned to normal, but grew four sizes that day!-

-with a very deep voice- Oh, this is nice. Now there's even more room for even more frolicking follicles.

-IDK slathers the whole bottle of super Rogaine on his head.-

-A very small, thick tuft of hair appears in the center of IDK's enormous pate- I need more! I must have more! Give me MORE!!!!!!!!!

Faewillow- -looking nervous with all these people hanging around her butt-

Sorry, IDK, when you propelled skyward from the force of the air pump, you hit the area of sky over the Bermuda triangle and fell into one of the portals that keeps sucking in unwary travelers of the sky. Fortunately, you managed to hit the one that opens up into the back pocket of my favorite jeans (yes, still dressing in 80s chic- there's a hole in my jeans!) and not the one that opens up into the Floating Vagabond! Oh, and the Rogaine was stuck on the bottom of your shoe (don't ask me how).

SakuraSango, sorry about your cat... they seem to be able to go wherever they want... they must be magical creatures...

Careful, all... I haven't cleaned out that pocket in a looooong time...

-pats IDK on the head-

-throws a shiny cloth over the hair-

-adjusts miniaturization settings & restores IDK's head to its normal size-

Oh, by the way, IDK... I wanted to warn you about the side effects of inter-dimensional travel...

-Long purple hair sprouts from IDK's scalp as his skin turns a pastel shade of green-

uh-oh... too late... sorry... um, that should wear off in a few hours... or maybe it's days. I can't remember...

-hands IDK a small vial of glittering powder-

If anything really, uh, bad happens, sprinkle some of this over the offending area and concentrate on the improvements you want.

-words on the bottle say "use only in case of emergency"-

-hastily leaves the area-

-returns for a moment-

-pockets miniaturization facility as IDK begins to develop orange freckles-

You'll be fine... really...

-rushes back out-

IDontKnow- Hey man, like, dude. That, like, was an amazing trip -starts singing purple rain but cant remember a verse with orange freckles in it-

-Starts singing purple haze instead, but it doesn't have words, so there cant be a verse with green hair in it-

Yura- ooooooooh I LIKE the purple hair! I simply MUST add it to my collection!

IDontKnow- Chill out dudette! Like, I'm on a trip or something! It must be the combination of that stuff with the gym socks SakuraSango made and the side effects of Interdimentional travel through Faewillow's pocket!

Man, if that stuff hadn't so affected the visual cortex of my brain, I would think that my hair is green, my skin is purple, and I look like I got measles from all the spots.

-Turns his normal (?!!) head just in time to see Yura running at him with her sword-

Yura- Don't move! I gotta get a clean cut!

IDontKnow- Boy I'd hate to go out with YOU on Sushi Night!

-IDK ducks and turns just in time to see Kagura standing stoically behind him.-

Kagura- So, you pathetic excuse for a demon, you think you can harvest hair better than I, Kagura, the wind sorceress? DANCE OF BLADES

-with one swipe of Kagura's wind power, the last of IDK's new hair is cut off at the knees-

-Now the green IDK turns three shades of purple topped with a shade of scarlet as he lights off after Kagura with Yura in "HOT" pursuit!

IDontKnow- How oh how do I get myself in these messes?

-remembers Faewillow's bottle, opens the cap and throws some on Kagura, then stops dead, turns, and in a single motion throws the rest on Yura-

Now, let's wait and see what happens! After all it did say `IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY SPRINKLE ON OFFENDING AREA' and those two wacko dames would certainly qualify as an emergency to me!

SakuraSango- -still holdin Dark Cloud watching the entire event- Man this is better then the circus...

u got your clowns- IDK, Kagura, Yura

animals- Dark Cloud

'n magic- Faewillow...

Hey IDK I really like the color of your skin...but u look like your gonna to explode...you know like when cartoon characters hold their breath for too long...

<BOOM- a cloud of smoke bellows>

SakuraSango- uh-oh I think that was Darlkana 'n her head growin stuff...better check on her...be right back...

-looks at Dark Cloud then at IDK- Here...hold him for me 'k...

-hands Dark Cloud over to IDK-

He's really nice...

-whispers- just don't say InuYasha in front of him...he goes a 'little' crazy... Be right

back...

-runs off before anyone can argue-

faewillow- U^_^ Well, at least he didn't turn into a purple people eater!

-watches as Yura and Kagura sprout daffodils on their heads-

O_O

They're not gonna like that...

-quickly stuffs both demons into her back pocket-

Let's see how they like Bermuda...

Ok, IDK, I think I finally figured this stuff out. Hold still:

-mutters a few words and sprinkles faerie dust on IDK-

-IDK's skin goes back to normal tones, but his hair stays purple and gets longer.-

Welllll....close enough?

CeeKari- -looks at IDK's 27ft long purple hair- Reminds me of an anime character I once knew...

-tosses IDK her pocket hairbrush- You probably need it more than I do.

Faewillow- Hey, a postcard from Bermuda!

-glances at postcard of bikini-clad, daffodil-headed Yura & Kagura on an unidentifiable beach-

Oh... well...

-holds up postcard-

Anyone want this?

IDontKnow- I don't mind having 27 feet of purple hair. Just think of the number of leather-clad cortices I can attract with nine yards of Frolicking Follicles!

-Looks at postcard and shivers- I want nothing to do with anything that comes from Bermuda except the shorts!

Naraku- Where is Kagura? Where is Kanna?

-mumbles- If you want anything done right you should do it yourself.

-Throws a menacing glance at CeeKari and Faewillow- Well?

Faewillow- -Grabs Naraku & before he can react stuffs him into her back pocket-

-dusts off hands-

next?

IDontKnow- -clapping hands-

OOOOOOOH how I wish you'd been here when this adventure started!

Faewillow- hey, another postcard...

-glances at writing-

It's from Naraku...

-turns it over and glances at the picture-

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-drops card and runs off, flinging hands around as if having discovered a spider on her person-

Post Card- -falls to the floor, picture up, revealing a photo of Naraku in a yellow polka-dot bikini-

Faewillow- -returns, still doing the icky spider dance-

-digs through pocket... finds and rejects: 3 French hens, a menu from Alice's Restaurant (where you can get anything you want) ('cepting Alice), the stuff that dreams are made of...-

Oh, here it is... mental floss...

-puts other stuff back but misses one hen-

-flosses brain-

Whew!

-notices card on floor-

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-runs off, doing icky spider dance again-

French hen- -poops on Naraku's face-

CeeKari- Finally, someone else who knows the song Alice's Restaurant! -finds a postcard of the two French hens in bikinis- Hmm...

SakuraSango- -comes back brushin her long sandy blond hair-

Ohhh...IDK...can I cut your hair for u...I'm really good at it. Please???? I'll make your hair look great, just look at mine...

-looks down 'n sees the Naraku postcard- Hmmm...-pulls out a flame thrower 'n burns the card- Burn baby...burn!!!!

Post Card- -burns up-

wind spirt- you people are very umm inserting.....

IDK...-take double slashed & blood stained hand & blood stained gun as she shakily shotz- (don't take it personal......u jus said 1 of the 3 wordz never 2 b spoken)

faewillow- CeeKari hey, at least it wasn't 2 old hens in French bikinis...

About Alice's Restaurant... I used to listen to the album that had that on it as a kid, later bought the CD and played it on the radio station at college... and own a DVD of the movie (not all of which is as lighthearted as the song). XD

Wind Spirit... please don't shoot IDK... he's very entertaining.

-points out IDK's purple hair-

you should see what led to that!

Oh, and SakuraSango... thanx for getting rid of that postcard!!!!

-uses mental floss again to remove the image-

-wanders off looking confused and singing...-

I don't want a pickle... just want to ride on my motorcycle...

IDontKnow- -Falls to the ground, blood gushing from a bullet hole deeper then an oil well in Texas-

What word did I utter to bring such a hideous fate to me? -cough sputter- all I wanted was to live long enough to see my purple follicles frolic across my pate.

Now...-taking a long pair of forceps, and penetrating the bullet hole with them-

EEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!

-IDK removes a perfectly undamaged .45 slug from da hole-

-Starts singing to get his mind off of the pain- You Can't Always Get What You Want

Oh, SakuraSango, I need one of the gym socks from your recipe to pack the hole,

and Faewillow, if I may ask? HOW DEEP ARE THOSE POCKETS OF YOURS????

CeeKari, if I live after performing a bulletectomy on myself, you may cut my follicles to a manageable length, and all of you remember these as my epitaph should worst come to worst:

Old Demons Never Die, They Just Jump In Faewillow's Pocket and fade away in Bermuda!

faewillow- Are you always in trouble IDK?

-runs off to find Sesshomaru-

-Returns with Tenseiga-

Don't ask how I got this!

-Uses the sword to revive IDK-

aren't you glad you didn't boil me?

IDontKnow- Boiling? Boiling? What boiling? -IDK sits up-

Why am I covered in blood? And where did that Gym sock come from? And Faewillow, why have you started carrying a sword?

Boiling indeed! What an imagination that kid has! -lapses back into a dreamy delirium-

-Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the niiiiight-

oops, wrong delirium!

Naraku- Since you refuse to help me reign with chaos on the message board, I shall curse your dreams with a dire cursing

IDontKnow- -rolls over-

-mumbles in sleep- That's nice. It can't get any worse!

SakuraSango- -watches IDK tossin 'n turnin in his sleep- He looks like a big baby when he's sound asleep...'k I'm bored watchin him...

-walks away lookin for somethin, comes back holdin a can of shavin cream-

'k I'm getting rid of these stupid locks of hair...

bright_star- I agree

CeeKari- -grabs sheep shears- please, SakuraSango, allow me. -grins evilly-

Faewillow- Hey, wait... as long he has hair, no one gets boiled for a hair potion!

If you guys are gonna cut it off, I'll... uh...

-looks at the sword that won't cut-

Crap! There's really nothing I can do about it, is there?

-starts looking for more Rogaine in her pocket-

-finds miniaturization facility-

'k, well that's useless...

-a light bulb in a cloud appears over Faewillow's head-

Or is it?

-evil grin-

SakuraSango- -backs away from the scary faewillow- Ummm...you stay away or I'll put this on you...-holds up a sign that says 'Pure Maiden'-

Don't come any closer...

CeeKari- Hmmmm. -grabs sign from SakuraSango and sticks it to IDK's back- Tee-hee ^_^

Faewillow- 'k so if you guys chop his hair, then he'll boil himself for the potion...?

*_*

IDontKnow- Dream a little Dream of me...

Naraku- -voice of Naraku in IDK's head- CeeKari and SakuraSango are up to something regarding your magnificent Purple Plumage, and it ain't gonna be pretty

IDontKnow- -sleepily- what do I care? -YAWN- I have already been beaten with a hammer, put under various evil spells, I've had too much hair and too little hair, I've had the wrong kind of hair (thanks to Faewillow's Daffodil trick) I've had my head shrunken, and then over-enlarged, and then I passed through Faewillow's pocket and wound up purple and green and covered in orange spots! Then to top it off I get shot for saying something I don't remember saying, and now you, YOU of all people have the nerve to tell ME to watch out for Faewillow, CeeKari, and SakuraSango?

Yeah, riiiiiiiiight! Now, leave me alone so I can go back to sleep! -mumbles quietly-

Naraku- You are already asleep, Stupid!

Wind_Spirit- ...-take double slashed & blood stained hand & blood stained gun as she shakily shotz-

IDontKnow- -topples over, blood streaming from many holes- Thank you Lava Spirit, WindSango, Sakurawillow, or CeeDark or KariBlazer, or whatever, you may have just ended my torment. And theirs.

-Releases FaeKari, WillowSango and CeeSakura-

Sorry -cough, sputter- my friends.

-IDK tries to get up, but falls into the cauldron head first -

-thinks- `how does one dry a sixty-four foot hair?'

Faewillow- Hey Lava Girl, or Wind Spirit, or whoever you are... exactly what are those 3 forbidden words?

-picks up all of the Voodoo dolls and removes all personal objects from them, ending the magic-

-hauls the bleeding, mumbling IDK out of his enviably large cauldron and uses Tenseiga to revive him-

Y'know... Sesshomaru is probably gonna want this back eventually...

-plucks the 64 foot long hair from his (IDK yells OUCH!) and uses it to tie him up-

-gingerly fishes the miniaturization facility out of the pot and points it at IDK-

Move only if you wanna find out if this thing still works.

Sesshomaru- -behind Faewillow- I would like to have my sword back, NOW.

Faewillow- O.O

-turning around quickly, trips over Tenseiga-

-feet go up... butt goes down... miniaturization facility hits floor & explodes, filling the area with smoke and dust-

-Looks around as the dust clears... everyone except IDK & Sesshomaru seems to have grown to monstrous proportions... and so is the cauldron... and the voodoo dolls...-

Wait a minute... hey, why do I sound like I've been breathing helium?

OH, NO! You guys aren't bigger... I'm smaller... and so is IDK...

and...!

*_*

-makes very squeaky but otherwise more than adequate use of the not-so-secret language of sailors -

-hands Sesshomaru, now a foot tall, the Tenseiga-

Um... sorry...?

-thinks about trying to fit into her own pocket-

Dark_Blazer- Whew!

-gets tired from actions and sits down-

Huh?

-hears a squash and a while bunch of muffles-

-Gets up and sees 2D faewillow, IDK, and Sesshomaru on the ground-

I did nothin'!

-Whistles and walks away-

-turns to see a chicken come-

chicken- -tries to peck at the three reformed figures-

Dark_Blazer- uh, need help?

wind spirt- the wordz- h*-pe, w*-sh, d*-eam, & any prefixez two those wordz for ex.. ly,ing ect.

IDontKnow- FAEWILLOW!! What have you done to us

-IDK screams, and then breaks out in giggling fits because he sounds like a diver on HelOx-

-looks in jeans pocket for a- AHHHHH HERE IT IS

I can still have my revenge on you all! -produces sewing thimble and fills it with leftover Gatorade-

I shall boil you yet, even in something as small as...

Chicken- -suddenly picks up IDK and runs away with him as the demon is heard to shout THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!-

IDontKnow- -thinks- `maybe I shoulda called Col. Sanders and ordered a chicken dinner today!'

-thinks- `Maybe Sesshomaru will kill Faewillow for me, if he can stop singing show tunes from South Pacific long enough!'

SakuraSango- -watches the chicken carryin IDK away-

-looks at the others 'n sighs-

I'll get him...Get back over here u stupid thing...

-grabs a spatula 'n a frying pan-

Give me back IDK or I'll cook u up...

Chicken- -looks at the pan 'n gasps accidentally swallowing IDK-

SakuraSango- O.O I swear I didn't do it this time...I swear -hears sirens-

Ummm...bye...

CeeKari- -grabs chicken and squeezes-

-IDK flies out of its beak, along with a jewel shard-

-looks down at small Sessy and Faewillow-

-scoops them both up in a jar and puts it carefully on a shelf-

Hm... -covers jar and begins charging a quarter apiece to see the "leprechauns"-

Faewillow- -pounds on side of jar-

>_<

LEMME OUTTA HERE!!!

wait a minute...

-looks over Sesshomaru-

Sesshomaru- -glaring- -says something about- When I get out of this, you will die-

Faewillow- O.O

-realizes inside this jar is the safest place to be-

um... on second thought, just leave me in here... this is fine, really!

U^_^

-pulls curtain out of her pocket & hangs it around the inside of the jar-

-the curtain rustles and shakes-

-pulls curtain down a few moments later to reveal that she is now wearing renaissance garb and faerie wings-

-pulls the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglass Adams, out of her pocket, and sits down to reread it, since it's been about 7 years since the last time-

Dark_Blazer- -gets fae out of jar-

-get out miniaturizing thingy out of pocket and shoots at fae-

I made my own! Yay!!! Oops...

-shot makes fae as small as a flea-

-releases Sesshomaru and makes him large-

Sesshomaru- Where is that idiot anyway?

Dark Blazer- Who knows.

Sesshomaru- -changes to Demon Form and tries to sniff out fae-

Pnkx- okay, I see the InuYasha forum has been turned into 24hr fanfiction "a story in progress"

>.<

But anyway, I'm back people if u didn't know. been gone for like a year, its like "no one cares" huh? Teehehheh. I'm confused, are the new eps on the 24 or 29 of April? I bet everyone hates when people ask that question -_- sowwy.

Faewillow- -hops onto Pnkx's shoulder & speaks into ear- in the news area of this site it says new eps on Saturday April 24th at 11:30 PM eastern (M.A.S.K. fan also says so in one of the threads on this board) and it's supposed to be 2 eps every Thursday night

(unless AS changes their mind again) and the fanfic/roll play is only until then.

-hops from Pnkx to hide from Sesshomaru in IDK's purple follicles-

HA! Sesshomaru will NEVER find me in here!!!

^_^

-follicles frolic wildly as Faewillow begins building small nest-

IDontKnow - -still miniaturized looks for Faewillow- I know you're up here

somewhere.

-runs fingers through hair- I sense an unusual amount of Frolicking in the Follicles which provide Considerable Coverage to the Oxipital Lobe of my Curvaceous Cranium!

-Goes to Pet Store and buys a box of Hartz Mountain Flea Powder and sprinkles it on the offending cranial area-

let me get u off my head and I will see if this can make you normal again.

-Holds bottle of Faewillow's Faerie Dust next to head so that the now flea-sized Faewillow can see it.-

<POOF! Myoga appears, holding a piece of paper in one of his hands>

Myoga- I resent this! My contract with Cartoon Network states Explicitly that I am the ONLY flea to be depicted in ANY manner with regard to the Inuyasha series, or it's spin-off's (and THIS definitely qualifies as a Spin-off!) So pay up or my union boss will pay you a visit one night!

IDontKnow- -steps on Myoga and douses him with the rest of the flea powder-

Ultimate Creature II- day and weeks later...and I'm STILL LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!

SakuraSango- -Walks around with the fryin pan- Where is that dumb chicken...I'm hungry...

-sees an angry IDK-

'k I swear I didn't know that he was goin to swallow u like that...Hey let me help u find Fae there...

-sits with a comb 'n combs IDK's hair- Sooner or later I'm goin to find u...

Chicken- -wipes brow- Good thing she has a short termed memory...

IDontKnow- I have had my head shrunken,

I have had my head enlarged,

I have had my hair ripped out, and put back,

I have had my bald spots filled in with Faewillow's magic daffodils,

I have tried to escape you crazy people and been shot down off the Empire State Building by F-14s,

I have been shot twice for saying words I did not know I said,

I have been reduced to the status of chicken-feed,

I have been tortured with Voodoo,

I have been poisoned by bad Chinese food (still in character in another thread)

I have been threatened with death, and through it all I STILL haven't found a Maiden to Boil for my hair potion.

Add to that that Naraku showed up and shrunk my head while Kagura was trying to take it off, and the fact that I spent a great deal of time locked in Kanna's mirror, and you will understand why I am nuts! LOL

-considers inventing Boil-in-Bag dehydrated Maidens just for this purpose-

And btw, chickens don't taste so good from the inside!

-stops and thinks- Oh yeah and I was arrested in Miami when an overzealous security screener strip-searched me and a security guard came at me with hair clippers.

And only Faewillow's Faerie dust saved me from being incarcerated indefinitely for "streaking" across the tarmac at a dead "run"!

-files patent for boil-in-bag idea-

faewillow- ^o^

-sneezes violently as IDK's flea dust falls around her, stirring IDK's follicles into a ferocious frolicking frenzy-

>.<

Hey, that stuff's poisonous!!! Poor Myoga...

O.O

-shrieks and dodges the (to faewillow) giant teeth of SakuraSango's comb-

-jumps into the vial of faerie dust in full view of everyone, including Sesshomaru-

guess I'm an offending area now... hmmm, should've watched my language back there

Sesshomaru- Give that to me! -*as he approaches IDK to claim the vial with his intended victim*-

Faewillow- EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Sesshomaru- -twitches, then begins an award-deserving performance of "Oom Pah-Pah" from the musical "Oliver" as faewillow begins searching the cerebrum for the area that will make him forget she exists-

Dark_Blazer- -Shoots miniaturizing thingy at faewillow-

Yay!!!

-fae becomes big, but in the process, Sesshomaru blows up-

-Scratches head nervously-

Oops...

-Sesshomaru tries and haunts fae and me for the rest of his life-

I screwed up again!!! NO!!!

IDontKnow- Give her back to me I want to make her normal

O.o

-ponders how to make a crazy person normal-

-picks up the even more miniaturized Sesshomaru and blows hard in his right ear, an ear which was hard to get a hold of because of all the twitching-

This should get her out.

-Inhales a huge breath and blows-

Faewillow- -runs for her very, uh, very, oh yeah LIFE, that's it!-

Sesshomaru- -is laying on the ground twitching, Trying to remember the words to Mary Had A Little Lamb, and forgetting that Mary had the lamb, not the other way round!-

CeeKari- o.o

This has definitely taken a very strange turn. So we need to unshrinking Fae, right?

-ponders while trying to ignore the brainless Sessy- Hmmm. Does anyone have blueprints for an un-miniaturization facility?

Star Gazer- -grabs Faewillow's fairy dust and looks at the ingredients list- Hmmm

So that's what's in there.

-sits down and writes it down so she can try making some later-

-sees a note- to add a twist try saying a magic word while sprinkling on the subject-

-Sees a small speck run by her at the speed of a snail-

Oh Faewillow. I want to try something. come here test subject.

-Grabs a pinch and mumbles some words into it and blows it on Faewillow-

Darn nothin happened. Hmmm what did I do wrong?