InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Worth the Risk? ❯ Worth the Risk? ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Worth the risk?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the song-lyrics.

- By Eleature

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Night had long since fallen, casting the surrounding area in a darkness only penetrated by the flickering light of the campfire and the ethereal light from the stars and the full-moon.

Only one member of the shard-hunting group was awake as he kept his normal vigil through the night. One hand clasped on an old, worn katana, as the other lay immobile in his lap.

The ears located on the top of his head swirled to locate and identify all the sounds in the night, flickering lightly when a flying bug got too close.

Unlike the other fighting members of the group, Inuyasha didn't mind taking the night watch. Sometimes, he even looked forwards to it. It was a perfect time to meditate on the many different thoughts that plagued him during the day.

The fate of the group when they had finished the jewel; Miroku's curse being lifted and Sango's revenge being fulfilled were some of the thing that passed through his mind. Then there was the fate of Shippo. What would become of him if Ka…

Inuyasha broke off from the line of thoughts as his gaze landed on the distant moon.

What would he do with the jewel when it was completed?

He thought he knew. He had made his choice long ago, but then there was always that indecisive, little nagging voice in the back of his mind. `Could I do that? What would happen to Kag…?'

Again, he broke off from that train of thoughts as his eyes squinted into a soft scowl.

And what about Kikyo? `What about Kago…?'

He shifted his gaze to the small body sleeping beneath the tree he was sitting in and with a resigned sigh, he stopped the feeble attempt the direct his thoughts away from where they insisted on going.

Kagome.

Constantly. All the time. Always.

He knew why.

He knew why he wasn't able to think about anything, or anybody else. He knew… and it scared him.

He hadn't wanted to admit it at first. Not to himself, or anybody else. If he admitted it, it would only complicate things, make it more real. It would be a weakness. It wouldn't be fair to her…

Kagome deserved better.

At least he had believed so before. Now… now he wasn't sure. They had traveled together for so long, and still she hadn't left him. They had talked together, fought together, laughed together, cried together, been silent together, fought each other, loved each other…

They had loved… together.

He had loved before her too.

Alone.

Gonna blame it on the moon

Didn't want to fall in love again so soon

I was fine, feeling strong

Didn't want to fall in love with anyone

He'd never believed that he'd be able to love again. Not after what happened to Kikyo. It had been too great a risk, to put his heart at the line like that again.

It wasn't worth it.

He had been convinced that he didn't need anybody at all after that. He hadn't wanted anybody after that.

Then Kagome had been there, as likely to retort on his insults as she was to compliment him. As likely to cry as she was to laugh. As unlikely to love him as he was to love her…

But she loved him.

And he loved her.

Now that it's gone too far to call for a halt

I'll blame it on the moon 'cause it's not my fault

I didn't think that it would happen so soon,

So I'll blame it on the moon

A small smile curved his lips when a broken version of his name escaped her lips.

`I love her.'

He could admit it now. It had taken a long time, but he could finally admit his feelings to her. And the weird thing was that he didn't mind admitting it. Sure, it was frightening to feel so strongly for someone, stronger that he had felt for Kikyo, but it felt relieving too. It felt great to know with his soul that he loved her.

And it felt greater to know that she loved him.

I was happy to be free

Didn't think I'd give myself so easily

Guilty feelings in the night

As I wonder is it wrong to feel so right

But then there were the feelings that he was doing something wrong.

The reminding feelings or memories he had of Kikyo that made him feel a pang of guilt.

Did he deserve to feel so great when Kikyo couldn't feel anything but hatred?

Hatred for him.

Now that it's gone too far too call for a halt

I'll blame it on the moon 'cause it's not my fault

I didn't think that this would happen so soon,

So I'll blame it on the moon

Raising a clawed hand to his face, Inuyasha studied it intently.

He had done terrible things with his hands. He'd stolen, hunted, terrorized, wounded, killed…

His gaze shifted to the form on the ground again as it twisted slightly before it fell still again.

…Protected, carried, helped, caressed, expressed love…

He'd done great things too with his hands. Things he'd never regret. Memories he cherished.

Maybe... in the end… maybe the good things added up with the bad. Maybe it wouldn't matter too much if he focused on the good from now on, both in himself and in others.

Inuyasha let a small smile flicker over his features at his thoughts. Kagome had done this to him. She had changed him, made it possible for him to look at the bright side of things. She had given him friendship, trust and hope.

She had broken down his defenses and she had taught him that love was worth the risk.

She always referred to him as her protector. Everybody did, but the truth was that Kagome was the real protector. The real savior…

She had not only saved him, but everybody else in their group too.

So what if she wasn't a knight in shining armor and lacked a magical sword? She was still a savior and a protector, simply because she gave people exactly what they needed at the moment they needed it.

It never failed to amaze him how great her heart and her compassion were.

She always gave of herself to help others, and she had never asked for anything in return.

Was it selfish of him to love her more because of it?

Now that it's gone too far to call for a halt

I'll blame it on the moon 'cause it's not my fault

I didn't think that this would happen so soon

So I'll blame it on the moon.

Dropping soundlessly from the tree, Inuyasha hunched down next to the sleeping girl's form. Her hair was blacker than the night, illuminated by a red sheen from the dying campfire.

He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he had fallen in love with her. It hadn't been a spontaneous feeling, but he had still fought it every step of the way. Maybe it had been on the first new-moon he spent with her, or maybe even earlier?

He found that it didn't really matter when it had happened, only that it had.

When Kagome began to move around again in her sleeping bag, Inuyasha reached a hand out to calm her. She reacted instinctually on his touch and moved to press closer to the warmth he offered.

Golden eyes glowing with amusement, Inuyasha chuckled silently to himself. It pleased him to know that she trusted him enough now to let him touch her while she slept. At the beginning of their journey, Kagome had had a habit to slap him in her sleep if he got too close.

Sitting down, he leaned against the tree-trunk to get more comfortable as he began to run his finger soothingly through her black tresses.

Kagome let out a nearly inaudible sigh as her lips quirked in a small, content smile.

"Shh… go to sleep koi." He whispered softly when he sensed that she was about to wake up.

Kagome blinked her eyes blurrily before she was able to focus on him. When she did, her lips split in a dazzling, heart-stopping smile.

"Inuyasha…" Her voice was a soft whisper, and she caressed his name in a manner he had never dared to hope for.

"Yes koi?" He whispered back, speaking low so as to not wake the others.

She yawned lazily and he could see that she was about to nod off again.

"I love you…"

His face spilt into a wide smirk as he felt his heart skip a beat at her spoken words.

Bending down, he captured her lips briefly in a sweet kiss before he retreated to be able to watch her as she fell back asleep.

"I love you too Kagome."

So I'll blame it on the moon…

…So what if he had unintentionally fallen in love again? He thought with a content light in his eyes.

It was so worth it…