Iria: Zeiram The Animation Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Cooking With anime ❯ Cooking with hiei ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Hey everybody! Ti's I, Pan-pan, you writer, here to bring you a comical little segment! My friend and I wee talking once morning and she gave me the idea while ranting about cooking shows in her sleep. So without further ado, let's get cooking!

I do not own Yu-yu hakusho, or the wonderful magnificant, sweet, cute little demon Hiei, I don't even on this plot that much because it was a dream.


The stage was readied and Hiei sat there angrily, he was not in a place that he wanted to be, and he was not doing something he wanted to do, furthermore he was wearing jeans and a black turtleneck with a pinkish tint to it.
For a few months Kurama had been hosting a cooking show, and today he found himself to sick to go on, so of course, he called his best friend for help, andof course, Hiei couldn't say no.
The audiance mbegan to murnur as they talked about who the sub would be for today.
"WELCOME TO THE COOKING HOUR AND TODAY WE BRING YOU COOKING WITH HIEI!!!!!" the annoying announcer voice said from nowhere.
The curtains drew apart and hiei stood there face to face with a hundred or so faces.
"Would someone shut that damn voice up?" hiei growled.
In anger Hiei flipped off the speakers.
There was complete silence and it was only Hiei, the stage full of kitchen crap, and the audience was staring at him, waiting for him to start.
He stared at the area around him. There was a chicken, still alive, and spices as well as other things that would be good for him.
"Today, we will be cooking." Hiei began.
The audiance smiled, happy he was at least talking.
"It will be chicken." he said.
He walked over to the live chicken and picked it out of the wire cage it was in.
"Now, the first ingredient you will need is, obviously, the chicken." Hiei said.
The chicken stood there a moment looking at everyone, then jumped up and started poking Hiei on the head.
"Oww, hey, stop it." Hiei tried to get away from the oversized chicken, but for some reason, the stage was in his way.
"Fine then you damn bird." he said, he grabbed it in the air, and broke it's neck with a snap.
"That, people, is a simple way to kill a chicken."
Hiei put the chicken on the table, then noticed that there were children in the audience crying.
"Hn?" he asked.
On the sidelines he saw one of the directors waving to him.
"What?" he asked.
"You're not supposed to kill the damn thing!" the director muttered.
"Then what was I supposed to use?" hiei argued.
"The chicken that's on the table already dead and already clean."
Hiei looked and saw that there was another chicken and it was clean and was ready.
"Oops." he muttered
he turned to the audience.
"Well, guess that we'll take advantage of this moment, I can show you how to skin the chicken."
He said.
He took the chicken and picked it up.
"The first thing you do, is pluck out the feathers." Hiei said.
Hiei got bored with plucking so he grabbed his sword and started plucking it that way.
"This way is quicker people." he said as he went.
Feathers went everywhere, but eventually he stopped, because he was finished!
He stared at the chcken..
"Perfectly cut and stripped of all feathers." he stated.
A second later, the chicken fell into about fifty different pieces.
"Crap." he muttered.
"Well, guess we'll use the spare chicken." Hiei said, tossing the chicken aside and back into the wire cage.
He placed the chicken in and sarted to just add spices and things like that
" You will add the following...salt..pepper.....zateran's......what is this?.. something white.... and onion... a tomato....cheese..... marshmallows?"
Hiei stared at the marshmellows.
He then ate them.
"Mmm, marshmellowy goodness."
"Okay, don't put marshmallows in there.." he said.
He finished that off and put a cover over the chicken
"Now, the oven should already be on 450 at bake." he said checking the oven.
"Now you will stick the chicken in the oven and wait long is it?" he asked the director guy.
"Two hours."
"Two hours? What the hell am I supposed to do for two hours?" Hiei asked angrily.
"Find something entertaining to do with the audience or sing or dance, do something." the director said.
Hiei looked at the audience.
"We'll play a game. You all are quiet, and if you make any noise I kill you. How's that sound?" he asked.
The audience only stared at him strangely.
"Good." he said.
Hiei sat down and began to watch the chicken...
One minute....two minutes...three minutes.... four minutes.... five minutes.... six minutes.....
"Damnit! I can't wait any longer!" hiei shouted as he yanked open the oven and pulled out the chicken.
He plopped it on the table, then unwrapped his hand.
Then, all hell broke loose.
The audience ran screaming from their chairs as the dragon began to form.
"Go for the chicken!" hiei commanded.
So the dragon did and half the building while at it!
The dragon returned to him and he wrapped it back up.
He stared at the chicken.
"A tad burnt, but okay." he said.
The camrea zoomed in on a perfectly done chicken roast.
"Well, next time, if I bother coming, I will show you how to make fox stew."
The camera went off and Hiei looked at the chicken.
"It probably wouldn't hurt..."
He touched it, and then it turned to ashes.
In despair, Hiei began to curse.
"It's okay, I can get us a burger on the way back." A certain voice said.
"Kurama? Where have you been I was talking with the audience and they told me how much they want you for next weeks episode." Hiei said smiling.
Kurama smiled. "Of course, anything for the public."
Hiei smiled.
"Good, I think we can talk recipes then." Hiei said, his smile broadening.
"Uh, Hiei?"
Hiei grabbed his Katana.
"Hiei, don't.." Kurama broke off and started running.
Hiei was getting ready for next week's show.

-.-...I like dem chicken... so, what do you think? I'm considering making this a series with a bunch of different anime characters! And I mean a bunch. Hey if I can I may even put some non-anime in there a bit too. But tell me what you think! R&R and don't forget: have you hugged you panda today?