Kyou Kara Maou Fan Fiction ❯ Fires Within ❯ fires within ( Chapter 6 )

Fires Within 6

By: sage_libra

Pairing: Yuuram

Genre: Romance/Angst

Rating: PG-13 (may change)

 

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Wish I did. Hehe.

 

 

“Again.” The command was issued in a cold, implacable tone. A tone that belied the intensity of the gaze that bore on Wolfram.

 

Wolfram sighed. He was sweaty, dirty, and tired. They had been at this the whole morning.

 

`They' being him and Gwendal.

 

`This' being the attempt to bring out his magic.

 

Wolfram had known his oldest brother's intent the moment Gwendal had peremptorily collected him from the courtyard and brought him outside the castle. Here, surrounded by miles of open land, there was no chance of accidentally burning anything important - in the event that his magic ran out of control.

 

Granting, of course, that he could somehow summon it again. He hadn't been able to do so so far. Not in any of the attempts he'd made since the first time it had failed. He could have told Gwendal that, but he'd chosen to keep his peace. There was something in the set of his shoulders that warned the blond knight to play along. So he did.

 

However, after hours of focusing and attempting to do so, Wolfram remained unsuccessful. He had tried every technique he could think of, to no avail. And with each failure he grew more tired while Gwendal's temper stretched thinner.

 

“Again.” Gwendal repeated.

 

“I've already tried a dozen times, Gwendal.” Wolfram supplied matter-of-factly. “It's no use.”

 

“Try again.” Impatience laced the even tones. “You're not trying hard enough.”

 

Wolfram weighed his brother's grim visage and sighed inwardly. With a shrug he lifted his hand. Focusing his will, he reached for the fire.

 

He could feel the magic, there, just slightly beyond his reach. However, when he tried to summon it, nothing happened. As though it wasn't his element to summon. He bit his lip. Frowned. Tried again.

 

But no matter how hard he called, the fire was unmoved. His call went unheeded. Wolfram's shoulder's slumped in defeat. The connection that had always flowed easily between them, his link to his element, was gone.

 

And so again, he failed.

 

He opened his eyes, swaying slightly on his feet. “It's there, Gwendal,” he said, his tone heavy with weariness. “But somehow it just won't come to me.”

 

“Try again.”

 

Wolfram's jaw tightened. Gwendal had said little else since they started.

 

“It's not working.” He repeated tautly. “Maybe tomorrow-”

 

“No!” Gwendal retorted forcefully. “This is not child's play, Wolfram. It's serious! Whatever you've done, you have to undo. Right now. You've danced around it long enough. No more excuses. No more reprieves. I want you to try again. Now.”

 

If Wolfram had still had a temper, it would have flared then and there. Gwendal had always been a taskmaster. But he had never been unreasonable or bullish. Now he was being both. His mouth drew into a straight line.

 

“I told you - it's no good - aargh!”

 

Gwendal stared at his brother's sprawled figure, the aching of his fist nothing compared to the one in his heart. However, he refused to acknowledge that pain. Or the fear. Instead he took refuge in anger. Anger that shone like indigo fire out of his eyes as he glared at Wolfram.

 

“ Get up!” He ordered. “Get up and try again!”

 

Wolfram stared at him, uncomprehending and just a little bit afraid. Gwendal had never blown up at him before. At least, not this way.

 

“What's the matter with you? ” He asked, scrabbling back when Gwendal look turned positively murderous. “Why are you so angry?”

 

“Why?” Gwendal stared at him in patent disbelief. “Because, you idiotic fool, you aren't trying hard enough! You're holding back!”

 

“That's not true! I am not holding back!” Wolfram rose to his feet slowly, keeping his eye warily on his brother. “You've seen me try all morning. You know I've given it all I've got!”

 

“Liar!”

 

“I'm not lying!” Wolfram yelled back, at the end of his tether. “You think I like not being able to use my magic? You think I enjoy being cut off like this?” He shook his head, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. Trying to fight back a familiar, if recently, missing emotion. Fighting anger with anger solves nothing, logic told him. Besides, the last thing he needed now was to pass out at his oldest brother's feet. “I've tried, Gwendal.”

 

“Then try again!” Gwendal snapped. “You can't just give up!” He shook his head. “What's happened to you, Wolfram?” He demanded. “You don't like not being able to use your magic? You don't enjoy being cut off?” He snorted in disgust. “You seem perfectly happy the way I see it. You don't look worried, and you sure as hell don't act like it matters!” He pointed a finger at Wolfram's chest in dire warning. “I don't know what's going through your head, Wolfram, and I don't particularly care. I'm just sorry my youngest brother had somehow turned into a sorry excuse for a knight!” His mouth curled. “You're a failure, Wolfram von Bielefeld.”

 

“Gwendal!”

 

They both started in surprise, not having noticed the arrival of Yuuri and Conrad. However, there was no ignoring the anger in Yuuri's voice, or the flash in his eyes as he pushed Gwendal away from Wolfram, planting himself squarely between his military commander and his fiance.

 

“Take it back!” Yuuri demanded angrily. Günter had kept him an hour longer with his studies, and when he had gone looking for Wolfram he had been informed that Gwendal had commandeered the blond knight. Thinking that his fiancé was safe under Gwendal's care he had taken his time with his studies before searching them out. However, had he had even an inkling that leaving Wolfram in Gwendal's care would result to the blond being subjected to abuse, he would have consigned his studies to hell! “Wolfram has never been, nor ever will be a failure. So I want you to take back what you said, Gwendal!”

 

“It's alright, Yuuri.” Wolfram spoke up soothingly from behind him. “I've been called worse.”

 

If he had hoped to calm Yuuri down with that tidbit, he failed miserably. “We'll deal with that later.” Yuuri assured him through gritted teeth, not budging an inch. “Right not I want Gwendal to explain what he thinks he's doing. I saw him hit you, Wolf. And I heard him insulting you.”

 

“Stop coddling him, Heika.” Gwendal told him in a biting tone. “You're not helping matters by mothering him.” The look he shot Wolfram was pure acid. “Do you think hiding behind the Maou can make you less of a failure?”

 

Yuuri heard Wolfram's pained gasp, and he snapped. His fist connected squarely with Gwendal's jaw, and the taller man's head snapped back from the force of the blow. But true to his training and stature as head of the army, he never flinched.

 

A stunned silence filled the clearing, silence broken only by the sound of Yuuri's labored breathing. The king stared at the older man, shocked by his own action. He shook his head, his obsidian eyes large in his face.

 

“It isn't his fault.” He got out shakily. The blow had surely hurt him more than it had hurt the stone-faced commander, but it didn't compare to the hurt in Yuuri's heart. He hated violence of any kind, hated hurting another person, much less one he considered a friend. But Gwendal had gone too far. Yuuri would willingly bear the insults to himself. But not to Wolfram. His fiancé didn't deserve it. “I'm sorry for hitting you, Gwendal, but - it isn't his fault!” He said brokenly.

 

“Yuuri…” Wolfram bit his lip. He knew striking Gwendal had hurt Yuuri in ways he could not fully comprehend. The dark-eyed boy was the gentlest person he had ever known. And the fact that Yuuri had done what he did on his behalf…he shuddered. Why? He winced as the pounding in his head increased. No, he told himself, not now.

 

Gwendal gazed at his king for a long moment.

 

“That may be so,” he acknowledged finally. “But it doesn't change facts.” His gaze moved to Conrad. “You know, don't you?”

 

The brown-haired commander met his gaze squarely. He nodded.

 

“Know what?” Yuuri demanded, dark foreboding making his insides tighten.

 

Gwendal kept silent, letting Conrad supply the answer.

 

Conrad took a bracing breath. “All full-blooded demons are bound to the element they summon, Heika.” He said quietly. “It is a part of what they are. It is part of their life source.” His gaze was heavy as they fell on his youngest brother. “If your magic has truly abandoned you, then you will gradually weaken. You will die.”

 

/You will die./

 

Yuuri stared at the somber-faced swordsman, all color draining from his face. “You- you're not serious?!”

 

“It's starting already.” Gwendal pointed out grimly. “His strength is leaving him. He tires easily now. His reflexes are slowing down. It's only a matter of time before his body gives out.” His gaze swept over them. “Günter found records during the war. Records that show full-blooded Mazoku who had been denied their magic with the use of esoteric stones gradually sickened and died.”

 

Yuuri gaped at him. Gwendal would not lie about something like this. Not when it concerned his own brother's life. And he began recalling incidences in the last few days when Wolfram had indeed shown signs of tiredness. His recurring loss of appetite. His increasing passivity. He spun around to face Wolfram. “Is it true?”

 

But Wolfram could only shake his head, his brother's words reverberating in his mind. Die?

 

Die?

 

A burning shaft of pain knifed through his head, and he gasped sharply.

 

“Wolfram?” Genuine fear shot through Yuuri at the blonde's blanched features.

 

His panicked tone cut through the haze surrounding Wolfram, and the green-eyed knight forced a reassuring smile. “I'm fine, Hei- Yuuri.” It was another of the things Yuuri had insisted on. It was passing strange, the Maou had declared, to have someone sleeping in his bed calling him Heika.

 

But Yuuri could see the effort it was taking for Wolfram to stay in control. Sweat beaded the blonde's upper lip and the brilliant emerald orbs were hazy with fatigue.

 

/ It's only a matter of time…/

 

Cold fear gripped Yuuri's heart at the thought that he might lose his fiancé. That Wolfram might die.

 

“Wolfram…”

 

“I'm fine.” Wolfram insisted. “I'm just -”

 

“-tired.” Gwendal finished for him, his tone dark and grim.

 

“Enough.” Amazingly, it was Conrad who stepped in. “I think we all need a little time to think on this.”

 

Yuuri agreed, his gaze fixed worriedly on Wolfram. “Why don't you two go on ahead to the castle,” he said, “Wolfram and I will be there in a while.” He needed the others to leave so he could attend to Wolfram's migraine. “Go on, we'll be fine,” he prodded when Gwendal hesitated.

 

Gwendal caught the telling look in Conrad's eyes and gave in. Wolfram was exhausted. He would not be able to try any more today. Tomorrow, he told himself, after his bratty brother had considered his situation, then they can try again.

 

Yuuri waited impatiently until the two were out of earshot before speaking urgently to his fiancé. “Are you okay?”

 

Wolfram swallowed and shook his head, even the slight movement jarring his brains painfully.

 

Yuuri saw a tree a short distance away. “Come on,” he told his fiancé gently, “let's get you out of this heat.”

 

Wolfram nodded mutely. Leaning heavily on Yuuri's arm, he walked carefully to the tree, concentrating on putting one foot before the other. The distance seemed interminable, every step he took echoing in his brain. But he made it - barely. Sinking to the ground with a heartfelt sigh, he closed his eyes and concentrated on getting his mind to stop spinning.

 

He started when cool hands settled on his temples, his eyes snapping open to stare at the Maou.

 

“Shhh, let me take care of this.” Yuuri directed softly, focusing his magic to easing his fiance's pain.

 

Wolfram's eyes drifted shut, feeling his muscles relax as the drumming in his head gradually slowed and faded away. He sighed in blessed relief.

 

Yuuri's hands lowered, but his eyes remained glued to the serene expression on Wolfram's face. I love you, he sent out silently, even as he heartily cursed himself for not having realized it sooner. And now he was scared - no, terrified that he might never have the chance to say it to the blonde. Urgency rushed through him, a hot tide of yearning and desperate fear.

 

“I don't want you to die…” he whispered, his fear a live thing that twisted inside him.

 

Wolfram's eyes opened slowly. Reluctantly. He really didn't want to have this conversation right now. But he knew there was no good time to discuss the possibility of one's death.

 

“They may be wrong,” he ventured, but his tone was uncertain. Gwendal would not have reacted so violently had he been less certain. And records don't lie.

 

“But what if they're right?” Yuuri asked in a trembling voice.

 

Wolfram took a deep breath. “Then I'll die.” He tried to be philosophical about it. “It's okay, Yuuri. Everyone dies.”

 

But Yuuri was already shaking his head violently. “No!”

 

“Yuuri - ” Wolfram struggled to find the words. “It doesn't really matter. Don't you see? If I die you'll be free to find someone else to marry. And besides, you don't really need me. Gwendal and Conrad are much better suited to help you. ”

 

“Shut up!” Yuuri was shaking. “How can you say it doesn't matter?” Tears welled in his eyes, streaked down his cheeks. “How can you even think about leaving me?”

 

“Yuuri…” Wolfram stared at the openly weeping king.

 

“I won't let you leave me!” Wolfram suddenly found himself enveloped in a tight embrace. “I won't let you leave me!”

 

Yuuri's grief shook Wolfram and instinctively he wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, the need to comfort the dark-haired king overriding all other concerns.

 

“It's okay, Yuuri.” Wolfram whispered urgently. “I'm not going to leave you.” He repeated the words over and over until the Maou's shaking had eased.

 

“Promise me.” The words were muffled, but the plea for assurance rang clear. “Promise you'll do everything to get well again.”

 

“I promise.” Wolfram swore, putting everything he had behind the words. “I won't leave you, Yuuri. Not ever.”

 

Yuuri drew back, his tear-drenched features flushed, his eyes reddened. “But how will you get your magic back?”

 

“I don't know yet.” Wolfram's eyes slid away. It wasn't the complete truth. A sob escaped the king, and he hurried to assure him. “I'm doing everything I can, Yuuri.” But the words sounded hollow even to himself.

 

Gwendal had been right, he realized. He had been holding back. He knew what he needed to do to regain his magic. But he hadn't wanted to.

 

That was his dilemma.

 

He needed his magic to live. However, to regain his magic was to regain his temper. And to lose Yuuri. He bit his lip.

 

But, in the first place, hadn't he resorted to the `cure' to gain Yuuri's love? Reversing it now would undo all the sacrifice and gains he'd made!

 

And yet, to remain as he was now, he was doomed to lose Yuuri anyway.

 

What option was left? Wolfram shuddered under the weight of it all.

 

Suddenly, a hand slipped into his and squeezed. Wolfram started at the gesture, eyes flying down to their linked hands, then lifting to glance with mixed awe and bemusement at his fiancé. In spite of his own upset, Yuuri had sensed his sudden tension. Wolfram's eyes softened. Taking heart, Yuuri very gently sent soothing waves to the other boy, just to keep him relaxed and prevent the debilitating headache from setting in.

 

“Is your magic really gone?” He asked softly, valiantly tempering his own fears. The last thing Wolfram needed now was to deal with his issues as well as Yuuri's.

 

“Yuuri -” Wolfram took a deep breath. “What if - what if regaining my magic made me unreasonable again?”

 

“I wouldn't care.” Yuuri replied promptly, not even having to think about it.

 

“You would.” Wolfram countered knowingly.

 

“I wouldn't.” Yuuri insisted, all traces of tears gone now. He was on sure ground. “Yeah, I might get annoyed and lose my temper and fight with you - but I'd get over it. It wouldn't change how I feel about you.” He gazed at the blonde squarely.

 

Wolfram swallowed. “How - how do you feel about me?” He asked in a small voice, suddenly afraid to hear the answer.

 

The obsidian gaze softened. “Don't you know it yet?” Yuuri whispered. “Wolfram, I would rather be annoyed every day of my life than to have to live it without you.” His voice caught. “I love you, Wolf.”

 

Emerald eyes widened, transfixed by the confession. He shook his head dumbly, shock rendering him speechless, scattering all reason.

 

“I do.” Yuuri said very definitely. “I love everything about you - your passion, your rage, your honesty, your loyalty. I love it all. I love YOU.”

 

“But - but - you hate it when I rant at you!” Logic making a valiant attempt to regain some semblance of control.

 

“Just as you hate it when I do things you consider wimpy.” Yuuri pointed out. “But that doesn't make you love me any less, does it?”

 

Wolfram started, almost recoiling from the king. But Yuuri held fast to his hand. He sensed that they were at the crossroads of their relationship. That anything he said or did now could make or break them - for good.

 

“I know you love me, Wolfram.” Yuuri pressed on doggedly. “And I can't tell you how sorry I am that I was too stupid not to value it before. But I do love you. More than anything. I want you to know that.”

 

Wolfram stared at their linked hands, feeling as though he was standing on the edge of a precipice. He closed his eyes, hope struggling with doubt, love with fear. To be offered something he yearned for with his very soul…he shuddered. It was almost too much to take in. To reach for.

 

If he takes it now and loses it later - his heart quailed.

 

Yuuri pressed their foreheads together, offering, without words, his entire heart.

 

/Trust me./

 

Wolfram shivered, sensing his fiance's warmth. His gentleness. His love.

 

Slowly, the emerald eyes opened. Lifted.

 

“There's something I have to tell you.”

 

-o0o-