Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Identity Crisis ❯ Underwear, Lies, and Empty Bottles ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4

Underwear, Lies, and Empty Bottles

Kaolla Su stretched like a cat as she woke up in bed late one morning. The girl felt as if she has been inactive for far too long this lazy summer and that she still had a Tama-chan to catch. The strange foreign girl waded through the jungle of her room and quickly got dressed in her school fuku. The girl then slid her door open and stepped out into the hallway to meet a somewhat busy Shinobu carrying a load of laundry. "Hello Shinobu!" Su greeted with her wide joyful smile.

"Ah, hello Kaolla-san," Shinobu replied nervously. Su just grinned and dug her hand into the basket. "Please! Kaolla-san, I just washed those!" Shinobu objected.

"Who's is this?" Su asked innocently as she pulled out of the basket a pair of black lace panties.

Shinobu quickly snatched the article out of the curious Su's hands. "Its Kitsune's of course," the shy girl answered. "Anything that's that black and that lacy is always Kitsune's."

"Whyyy?" Su asked happily.

"Because it makes her look nice I guess?" Shinobu answered questioningly.

"Can it work on us too?" the foreign girl asked.

"We aren't… big enough for Kitsune's kind of underwear," Shinobu replied, meaning big in more way than one.

***

Kitsune grumbled to herself once again as she continued to scrub the floors of the wooden hallways. The poor girl had to get on Keitaro's hands and knees to scrub the grime and dirt off the wood surfaces. `I'll get him for doing this,' Kitsune thought as she started rubbing a particularly stubborn smear on the wood.

"Need some help with that?" Keitaro asked the angry girl in his body. Kitsune shot him a glare.

"No way!" Kitsune angrily objected. "You know how bad it will be for my image if anyone else saw me scrubbing floors? Besides, why do YOU want to help? This is your fault."

"Actually, it was yours," Keitaro clarified as he leaned against the wall. "It was those wooden statues that did this. It appears you took a liking to one of them and hid it… somewhere,"

"Damn!" Kitsune cursed and took out her new anger on the stains. "But it was just a hunk of wood! How could that do anything?"

"Listen," Keitaro said calmly, "this was just all bad circumstance. We shouldn't blame anyone."

"Says the person that doesn't have to scrub the floors," Kitsune bitterly pointed out. "Look, I have to finish off these floors or Motoko will finish ME off, so we can talk about blame later, okay?"

"Well, if you ever change your mind about the help, you know where to find me," Keitaro pointed out as he left the hallway and went back into Kitsune's old room.

"Lousy, good for nothing… thinks I can't handle a few chores," Kistune muttered as she put her shoulder into it.

"Something wrong Urashima-Sempai?" Shinobu asked innocently with her arms supporting the large laundry basket.

"Its nothing, Shinobu," Kitsune replied. Then Kitsune suddenly felt a large stress on her tired back.

"Cheer up Keitaro!" Su said with a wide grin and hooked her fingers into the corner of Kitsune's mouth and forced it to take the shape of a wide grin. "See? All better!"

Kitsune just grumbled to herself and let the humiliation continue as she continued to scrub the floor.

***

Naru brushed her hair as she looked into her mirror, and thought about the last couple of days. Things seemed a little off at the Hinata and Naru just couldn't place what was particularly it.

Keitaro seemed to be in second gear this summer. Naru reasoned it was because of the stresses and Keitaro was entitled to slack off a little. Motoko, however, seemed to disagree.

Kitsune seemed a bit more nervous this week. The reason, it seems, is that she hasn't been drinking as much as she used to. Naru never knew her old friend would attempt to stop drinking, much less going cold turkey and tried to contemplate why she would make such a decision. `I guess I could ask her,' Naru thought. `But really, what right do I have to ask such a thing?'

Stuck with her dilemma, Naru slid open her door and stepped out into the hallway, only to bump right into Motoko. "Motoko! Oh sorry, I didn't see you!" Naru hastily apologized.

"No need to apologize," Motoko replied. "Have you seen Urashima?"

"Last I saw, Keitaro was downstairs, just finishing up the floors," Naru answered. "Why?"

"Good," Motoko said with a nod. "He has been neglecting his duties as landlord the past few days. It is nice to see him taking his responsibilities seriously again."

"Motoko-chan, you seem to like it a bit too much when someone obeys you," Naru observed. "I'd feel sorry for your husband- if you ever get married that is,"

"It will not occur anytime soon"

"Don't count guys out, Motoko," Naru said teasingly. "In fact, I bet you can get a lot of dates."

"Boys know their place around me," Motoko answered. "Especially if they want to get acquainted with my form of birth control." To emphasis her point, Motoko thumbed her sword free from its scabbard by an inch.

"I REALLY feel sorry for any guy that complements you," Naru said. "Anyways, Shinobu might need some help with the laundry."

***

Keitaro looked at the cleanly folded and pressed pile of Kitsune's clothing that Shinobu just gave to him, unsure of what to do. Sighing, Keitaro walked to Kitsune's dresser and opened the first drawer. He then picked up the small bundle of bras and panties on the pile and felt the smooth, soft texture of the undergarments at his fingertips. With a shudder, Keitaro placed them as neatly as possible into the drawer, trying hard NOT to imagine how the black lace would look on Kitsune's body, even though he knew he could find out in just five minutes.

Next, Keitaro picked up a very familiar looking article: a red turtleneck sweater. Keitaro held it up and remembered how it seemed like Kitsune was glued to this sweater. He held it up to his chest and had to admit it did complement her body well. He put the sweater aside, thinking that it would be best to wear it later and continued to put Kistune's clean laundry away.

Suddenly, almost to interrupt the tranquil moment, a loud honking of a horn was heard in the distance. Keitaro quickly ran to the window and saw Seta's van, once again, making its usual chaotic entrance onto the Hinata.

Keitaro sighed and watched the van slowly skid to a halt mere inches away from the actual house. Seconds later, Seta climbed out of the passenger window and spotted Keitaro. "Ah, just who I wanted to talk to," the professor said as he jumped into Kitsune's window.

"So what did you find out?" Keitaro asked.

"Quite a lot!" Seta said eagerly. "For instance, the wood used for the statues' construction is a rather rare breed. Most island societies believe it holds special magical properties and use it for quite a few ceremonial objects."

"That's all nice and good, Seta-san," Keitaro said, frustrated, "but what about this particular situation?"

"Ah yes!" Seta said. "The good news is that the switch seems to only last 7 days. After the 7th day, it should correct itself."

"Thank goodness!" Keitaro sighed in relief.

"That's only the good news," Seta pointed out.

"What's the bad?" Keitaro asked, dreading what he will hear.

"It appears," Seta said as he dug through his notes, "that during this exchange, you will have one of Kitsune's habits or traits."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Keitaro responded as he almost unknowingly picked up the sake bottle he eyed for the majority of the day and took a sip. "But I doubt I got one of Kitsune's traits. And if I did, I wouldn't even know which." Almost to finish the statement, Keitaro took another sip, and then looked at what he was precisely doing and spit out the sake in his mouth. "What the heck am I doing?!" Keitaro asked himself more than anyone else.

"That appears to be the trait," Seta said with a smile.

"Oh great, I'm an alcoholic," Keitaro grumbled.

"Don't feel too bad," Seta reassured. "In a few days, it will all be over. That is, if the statues aren't destroyed"

***

Kitsune, however, was unaware that it would all be over in a few days and continued with Keitaro's chores. She was currently cleaning the windows outside in a harness. A few more wipes and the girl sighed in relief. "Thank goodness that's over," Kitsune said as she carefully grabbed the edge of the window to try and climb into the house. However, the harness was rather old. Grandmother Hina thought of replacing it for years. It worked fine for Keitaro numerous times. Today, however, it decided the stress was enough and gave way.

Suddenly, gravity seemed to grab Kitsune and throw the hapless girl in Keitaro's body towards the ground. Yet, as luck may have it, Kitsune's fall was broken. Unfortunately, the luck was bad, as what broke Kitsune's fall was Motoko. Kitsune looked down and immediately saw the squished Kendo girl beneath her and quickly moved off.

"Oh god, Motoko, I'm so sorry!" Kitsune quickly apologized. The glint in Motoko's eyes, however, showed everything would most certainly NOT be forgiven.

"Urashima!!" Motoko shouted as she started to slowly unsheath her blade. But, luck changed once again for Kitsune as Naru quickly grabbed Motoko's shoulder.

"Motoko-chan, it was an accident!" Naru quickly said. Motoko sighed and took Naru's word for it and pushed the blade back into his sheath.

"Sorry, Urashima," Motoko apologized with a deep bow, "for the confusion."

"Umm, excuse us Keitaro," Naru said as she grabbed Motoko's arm and dragged the kendo girl a few feet away from Kitsune. The two girls then hurridly discussed for a minute, and seemed to disagree. Then Naru whispered something back and Motoko seemed to shudder and turned her head away from Naru. Then, finally, Kitsune could hear Naru say, "Good, now ask."

Motoko turned back towards Kitsune and walked as if with a heavy burden on her shoulders. "Urashima, to correct my earlier harsh behavior, would it be alright if I gave you a-" the proud girl paused again, then continued, "a massage to alleviate the stress to your back from the fall?"

"Sure, if you want," Kitsune answered.

***

Keitaro roughly rotated his shoulder and felt that the pain was now gone. Earlier, Su tried to play with him as the foreign usually did with Kitsune. However, it seemed that Kitsune's body was more accommodated to Su's usual piggyback rides. The dirt the girl rolled him in deemed a change had to be made and now Keitaro was wearing Kitsune's signature red sweater.

The day was slowly coming to a close and Keitaro once again felt bored. It was around 6 in the afternoon and yet again the normal toll of Kitsune's daily life left him feeling unsatisfied. Not to mention he finished off that bottle of sake almost immediately after Seta left. The end of that bottle only confirmed what Seta suspected: That Keitaro inherited Kitsune's alcoholic habit.

That in itself wouldn't be a problem, considering he also had her tolerance now, if not for the fact that the Hinata seemed to be dry now. Keitaro got up and stretched both arms above his head lazily as he walked through the hallways, trying to find something to do that would not involve wrestling with Su, the temptation of Kitsune's body, or reminding him of alcohol.

"OUCH!" a loud cry echoed throughout the house. Keitaro immediately recognized that voice. It was the sound of his former body in pain once again. Quickly, Keitaro rounded the corner and opened the door to his old room by a slight crack. The image within was a strange one indeed. Kistune in his former body was laying face down on his futon and Motoko was giving her a massage. "AIEE!" Kitsune wailed again in pain as Motoko drove her palms deep into her back.

"You are unusually tense today, Urashima," Motoko observed as she continued the massage. Frustrated, Keitaro walked away from the door.

`She only gave me a massage when she thought I was going to kill myself,' Keitaro thought gloomily. `Ok, her massages hurt like hell, but still: What is Kitsune doing in my body that deserves a massage from Motoko?' Frustrated, Keitaro decided he should just give into the need for alcohol.

"Where you going, Kitsune?" Su asked as she hung upside down from the ceiling.

"Just going out for a few hours," Keitaro answered.

"Good! Just like always!" Su said happily.

"Well, be a good girl, alright?" Keitaro said as he pulled on Kitsune's tennis shoes.

"Alrighty, Kitsune!" Su replied joyfully while eating a banana.

***

It was long walk, but Keitaro finally came across a bar that he hoped no one would recognize Kitsune in and stepped inside. Exhausted from the stroll, Keitaro plopped onto a barstool. Immediately, several of the men in the bar began to talk about the new arrival. Almost instantly, a small cup of sake was poured infront of Keitaro.

"Wait, I didn't order yet," Keitaro objected.

"On the house. Courtesy of the gentleman to your right," the barkeep explained. Keitaro turned and saw the rather charitable `gentleman'. He looked to be around 24 with short lightbrown hair and leering brown eyes wearing a brown sweatshirt.

"Hello gorgeous," the guy said with an easy grin.

"Umm, hello," Keitaro replied, nervously as he reached into his pocket and withdrew Kitsune's wallet. "Thanks for the drink and all, but I can cover it, see?" However, as soon as Keitaro opened Kitsune's wallet, the deep emptiness within was revealed and Keitaro meekly tucked the wallet back into his pocket. "Well, I guess you could buy me just one…"