Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Love Hina What If Theatre ❯ What If Keitaro Met Seta First? ( Chapter 1 )

Love Hina: What If…? Theatre, Prt. 1

What if Keitaro met Seta First?

 

By ______ (Underlined-for-Emphasis)

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina, but you already knew that right?

 

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Night had fallen and in the empty courtyard in front of the boards announcing who passed and who didn't, was a lone, petrified figure, his head lowered and his eyes unseeing and glazed behind his cracked glasses. Finally, after hours of not moving he fell to his knees and released a low howl that only someone having their soul ripped out could make.

 

Keitaro Urishima had failed to keep his promise. And so began a long winded rant to himself, a panicked tale of what his promised girl will do to him for failing after all those years she'd suffered and struggled to pass. While he flunked. After falling over he laid on the ground staring at the stars, contemplating his future now. Thinking it over he had just one course of action, try to flee the country in shame. Getting up he started to walk around the campus, taking a slow, tragic finally tour of his lost dream.

 

He wandered aimlessly around in a zombified state, not noticing the campfire at all until he'd stepped in it and got his pants burned. A quick dash later the fire was out and he was soaking wet in a small pond. He sighed, melancholy. “You really should be more careful, you almost ruined a perfectly good dinner back there.” A disturbingly close voice told him, making him turn to face a man with glasses and a five-o-clock shadow wearing a bathing towel who was sitting right next to him. …In the pond. “So what are you doing out here so late at night? I thought the school closed up at around midnight.” The weirdo continued, apparently seeing nothing wrong with the situation.

 

Sighing again, Keitaro hung his head in shame. “I failed the entrance exam.” He said, lifelessly.

 

“Oh yeah? I remember back when I failed it the first time, I got so depressed I almost did something drastic, like trying to flee the country in shame. Man what a time that was. Oh, I nearly forgot, the name's Seta.” The strange man offered a hand, which Keitaro shook after a moment's hesitation.

 

“The first time?” Keitaro asked somewhat astonished.

 

“Ha ha, yeah I failed it three times before I finally got in… I guess you won't be doing much until next year huh? I could use some help, how about becoming my assistant? The pay's dirt cheap but you get to go all over the world, what'd you say?” Seta asked, leaning back.

 

Considering a multitude of unlikely, unhappy scenarios if he stayed here Keitaro came to one infallible conclusion; it couldn't be that bad, right? “Sure, why not?”

 

“Great, you can start right away by stopping the grassfire you started a little while ago.” Seta said, relaxing while Keitaro started panicking. “And full-timer, relax.”

 

+++++

 

Two years later Keitaro Urishima, excavationist extraordinar, climbed out of the wreckage of his borrowed white van to stand before the front door of Hinata-Sou, having spent two years with Seta he already had the deep tan from constant time spent in the sun and his pseudo-Setan glasses. With a confident air he entered the building, a little sorry he ended up here almost a week late, those Incan locals had really held them up after he and Seta had dug up that forbidden temple of something or other. He hoped the urgent news could wait that long.

 

He didn't even have to go inside apparently as a group of girls, including his aunt, rushed out of the inn to see what had made so much noise. “Oh, hi aunt Har…” he managed to say before his aunt all but teleported behind him and smacked him with a harisen.

 

“It's just Haruka.” She told him sternly. Taking a drag from her cigarette she sighed and looked at the gathered girls. “This is the nephew that I was telling you about.”

 

“Really, so he's a Tokyo U student? Not quite what I was expecting…” Kitsune jumped in with the first comment, narrowly beating Su's `big brother?'

 

“Huh? You mean my parents didn't tell you Haruka? I…” He started to correct her, only to get smacked again.

 

“Of course he is, you've been working there about two years now, right Keitaro?” Haruka `asked' hinting none too subtly and what his answer should be.

 

“Well, I guess you could say that.” Keitaro replied, picking himself back up. “But…” Only to get smacked again.

 

“So you're really a Tokyo U student huh?” Naru asked, glaring and uncertain.

 

“Not really, I work there, for the archeology department, under this guy called `Seta'.” Keitaro finally explained, narrowly avoiding his aunt's paper fan.

 

“No way, you work for Seta? Now how's that for coincidence?” Kitsune started, getting cut off by Naru's glare.

 

“Very well then, as you are not a Tokyo U student you shall leave immediately.” Motoko commanded, rising to drive him from the grounds by force.

 

“Huh? But I kind of have to wait for Seta to tell me our next location and well, since this is an inn I didn't really think I'd need to stay anywhere else so…” Keitaro started, his head far too dense for the kendoist's glare to pierce, daggers could only do so much when launched by a fierce gaze.

 

“Fool, do you claim not to know this building was converted into an all girls dorm?” Motoko shouted righteously, drawing her blade and leveling it towards the not-so-hapless Urashima.

 

“Now wait a second, it's not like he'll become the resident manager or anything.” Naru, surprisingly, came to his defense… or not so surprisingly as Seta was involved. “How long do you need to stay here?”

 

“Well Seta said a week, but if the Mayan locals are anything like the Incan ones it'll probably be around a month.” Keitaro muttered, scratching his head.

 

“Naru-sempai you don't truly mean to allow this foul man to stay here… do you?” Motoko asked, glancing away from her soon-to-be victim to the older girl.

 

“It's just because he works for Seta, isn't it Naru?” Kitsune interjected, making Naru blush and back down.

 

“…Very well then, I will allow you to stay here, on the condition that you defeat me in combat!” Motoko said, charging and lashing out recklessly at the apparently hapless young man before her…

 

Only, he'd been learning kung-fu from Seta for two years now and she was attacking more to maim someone defenseless than to duel someone nearly her equal. As she leapt forward with a low sweep towards his legs he hopped up, over the blade and landed a heel-drop to the back of her skull. “…Well, that was easier than I would have thought. I hope I didn't hurt her, she looked like she'd be able to dodge that…” Keitaro noted, scratching his head, unphased by the silence that had just taken the room. “Oh yeah, what was it grandma…” Keitaro started, just noticing Haruka was gone.

 

“Big brother!” Su shouted, leaping forward and hugging him with her unnatural strength before he could ask where his aunt had gone.

 

“I guess I'll start dinner.” Shinobu murmured, fleeing to the kitchen.

 

“Well, I didn't think anyone could take down Motoko like that.” Kitsune muttered, stalking off to her room for a drink.

 

“Good work Keitaro.” Haruka said softly, just arriving at her tea shop. Leaving the stunned Naru, choking Keitaro and unconscious Motoko to their own devices.

 

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The meal passed in a semi-silence, no-one except for Kitsune, mockingly and Keitaro, cluelessly dared disturb Motoko's brooding at having lost so easily to an apparent weakling. It ended, of course, with Motoko declaring she simply wasn't ready for him that time and demanding a rematch even though a lose was a lose. Though it was a much closer fight, it ended the same way, the kendoist lying unconscious on the ground after underestimating her opponent. After putting her to bed Keitaro unloaded his stuff from the van set up in his grandmother's old room.

 

The next week saw a strange cycle of a meal, Keitaro performing some immensely difficult repair or explorational work almost instantaneously, Keitaro making a mistake, getting pounded, getting challenged by Motoko for performing such a perverse act, beating her by an increasingly narrowing margin and then repeating. In a strange way it was fairly pleasant.

 

Finally something happened to upset this steady balance at dinner one day:

 

“So sempai, you told us how you met Seta, aren't you going to try for Tokyo U again?” Shinobu asked, interrupting another symphony of Naru `how can you possibly work for Seta' melodies set to a Motoko `you may have beaten me again but next time I won't go so easy on you' harmony.

 

“I hadn't really thought about that in a long time… I don't know, the reason I was trying to get in in the first place was kind of silly, looking back on it. I mean, I'm sure the other person's forgotten all about me by now, even if they didn't make it.” Keitaro replied, more thinking outloud than answering the question.

 

“What do you mean sempai?” Was all the startled Shinobu could say in face of the sudden change of mood that swept the room.

 

“Well… If you told someone you'd meet them somewhere in fourteen years but the place was really hard to get into, do you think the other person would remember? I mean I tried again last year but my grades were even worse than they were the first time so…” Keitaro said, drifting off into his own thoughts. “And studying on the road is really hard, especially with how often Seta gets someone or something mad at him so there's not much chance of me ever making it anyways…”

 

“Coward! If you are truly a man, then keep your word or else kill yourself to preserve your honor!” Motoko said, rising and pointing a sword at him.

 

“Motoko's right, how you keep some poor girl waiting for you like that after all the hard work she'd have put in to get into Tokyo U in the first place?” Naru backed up Motoko's threat of violence by cracking her knuckles.

 

“Now hold on ya'll, I'm sure he's doing the best he can, but let's face it, this is Keitaro were talking about here. From what I've seen over the week it's safe to say he never had a chance to begin with right?” Kitsune said calmly, sipping some sake she'd gotten Keitaro to pay for.

 

“…You're most certainly correct Kitsune. He will most definitely fail so long as the challenge is academic.” Motoko nodded dispassionately, satisfied that she has not been losing to someone without honor.

 

“That's not true, I'm sure if he just tried hard enough… he'd…” Naru started, disquieted that someone else who promised to get into Tokyo U failed and gave up so easily. Okay, it wasn't really a promise, but she told Seta she'd make it so she was going to! Maybe she shouldn't care; it wasn't like she'd promised to get into Tokyo U with this idiot anyways, but… “No, I'm not going to let you destroy some girl's dream after all the hard work she must have put in! You are going to make it into Tokyo U if it kills you!” She pointed threateningly at him, not caring that he'd beaten Motoko as the only time he ever fought back seem to be after someone formally challenged him, the rest of the time he tried to explain or just basically let himself get pounded, it was usually his own fault anyways.

 

“But I'd need a place to stay that didn't involve snake pits, ancient traps and super villains/evil geniuses bent on ruling the world through use of ancient artifacts left over from advanced magical and/or alien civilizations!” Keitaro whined, getting no sympathy, but some surprised glances, how could someone so clumsy survive all that? Oh, right, immortal.

 

“I don't care; you're getting in Tokyo U.” Naru ordered.

 

“But… but…” A rebuttal just wouldn't form for him, if the super villains/evil geniuses bent on ruling the world through use of ancient artifacts left over from advanced magical and/or alien civilizations interrupting his studies wasn't a valid excuse, what was? How many textbooks had he lost to the dimension-traveling Ra-Ra army after the scrolls of the Sennon Seraph? More than he cared to remember. Or the bald martial artist/panda and his son/daughter after those legendary orange starred balls? The water damage completely ruined at least two of his text. Or what about the Hellsing group's vampire after the whip of Belmont? Especially after that Tartin guy and his group showed up… Then vampire hunter in the wide brimmed hat with the sword and pale complexion hadn't helped at all. Or all those weirdo paper-masters after that weird talking maroon book with a face on it? They were the worst, using his textbooks to make a glider for chasing Seta after he'd escaped with the book they were after, most of the others had only destroyed two or three subjects' worth.

 

“You can try again, can't you sempai?” Seeing as Shinobu was counting on him and looked up to him, did he have any choice? He had to be a good example.

 

“Alright, I'll try again.” He declared, standing.

 

“Alright Keitaro, this calls for a celebration!” Kitsune pounced on the presented opportunity.

 

“But where am I going to stay?” Keitaro asked, ignored as the party started.

 

+++++

 

“928…929…” Motoko tirelessly swung the weighted pole as though it was her blade, having pushed herself beyond her old limit of one thousand within just a mere week, as opposed to the months it had taken her to build up to a thousand. She idly attributed it to the presence of a worthy foe, even if he was just a loathsome male. “1000.” She swung it one final time, holding it effortlessly before her. She had just barely broken a sweat and wiped her forehead gently with the towel draped over her shoulders. She held that pose for a few moments before glancing to her left, over the side of the roof where Keitaro was rehearsing the fluid movements of his morning kata in slow motion with weighted armbands and shoes that he'd said Seta had given him.

 

Without noticing she watched him for nearly a full minute, mesmerized. Then with a new glare of determination and a silent declaration that there was no way she was falling for that…MAN, she threw herself back into her exercise, finding a new fountain of energy in the thought of how her sister had abandoned the blade for a man and she wouldn't allow her swordsmanship to suffer from some idle affection she wasn't even feeling!

 

She hated herself for the brief flash of a thought of sharing the hot spring after today's spar. After all, it wasn't a friendly spar, it was a duel!

 

…She froze as she realized what part of that should have bothered her.

 

Meanwhile Kitsune was up unusually early for her, similarly watching Keitaro from a concealed location. She carefully weighted everything out.

 

On the up side it seemed he wasn't interested in Naru and Naru wasn't interested him, yet. She'd have to try and keep it that way. He was also Hina's grandson, and given how he was here, there was a good chance of him ending up inheriting the Hinata-Sou someday. On top of that he was both an incredible martial artist and very easily manipulated, or `kind' as some people called it. He also had recognition in the archeological field simply from having survived as Seta's assistant for nearly two years without being horrifically injured. Then there was also the fact that for all her own posturing and acting she'd never actually had a boyfriend and his incredibly dense head and lack of practical experience would keep him from ever realizing her whole mature woman act was just that, an act. Every man she'd ever wanted had always wanted Naru or gotten driven off by Motoko before he could do anything `perverse'. And despite the act and the drinking she'd never let herself be used for a one-night stand and wasn't going to. She was smart and jaded enough to have realized it would have destroyed her, in fact she never remembered being naive about relationships like Naru and Shinobu.

 

On the down side it looked like Shinobu was practically hero-worshipping him for some reason, though Kitsune was pretty sure the middle school student knew she didn't have a chance from the age gap, she would still regret having to be the one to crush the young girl's dreams, if she decided she wanted Keitaro for herself. Also Motoko seemed to have started to become less repressed and even attracted to him, if the crumpled up pages of half-homework, half-perverted romance novel were any indication. She really should have known better than to have thrown them away with her name on them, luckily for her Kitsune had found and collected them before someone else had. Freelance writing had gotten easier since all she had to do was cut and paste these last few days. And then there was how like Seta he was, he was very likely to run off for some dig out in the middle of nowhere at the drop of a hat.

 

She wouldn't be at such an impasse if he always had the handsome, focused look on his face that he had when performing martial arts or chores instead of that goofy one, though it was kind of cute.

 

Her musing was interrupted when Shinobu threw the door open and shouted. “Sempai, breakfast is ready! Could you tell Motoko for me while I wake Su and Kitsune up?”

 

“Sure Shinobu.” Keitaro replied, his face going back to normal as he lost the careful balance he'd been holding as soon as he stopped thinking about it. Getting up he dusted off his pants and leapt easily onto the building's roof after removing the weighted equipment.

 

Kitsune sat frozen, having been taken out of hiding when the door she was behind opened. But neither Keitaro nor Shinobu seemed to have noticed her.

 

Then from the roof she heard, “Motoko, breakfast's re…”

 

“Eek! Boulder Smashing Sword!” Crunch, Boom!

 

“What'd I do?”

 

Kitsune watched the shooting star that she assumed to be Keitaro disappear into the distance. She wondered if Motoko had gotten so focused on another fantasy she freaked when reality set back in or if the kendoist had actually started doing something embarrassing up there.

 

“Oh Kitsune, there you are. Breakfast's ready.” Shinobu announced startling the fox for the second time that morning.

 

“Uh, yeah I heard.” Kitsune answered smoothly as she got up to follow the younger girl to the dining room. She came to one, absolute conclusion; she had to at least try.

 

+++++

 

Naru groaned as the pounding on her door continued. She'd pulled an all-nighter last night and had asked Shinobu specifically not to bother her until lunchtime. She dimly remembered promising to help that loser Keitaro with his studies, though not until noon, so who could possibly knocking at her door?

 

Without bothering to change out of the studying outfit she'd fallen asleep in she staggered half-consciously to the door.

 

“Uh, hi Naru, did I wake you?”

 

For what seemed like an eternity Naru stared blankly at Keitaro's face, trying to decipher why something felt wrong. So she'd overslept, that was fine. And who cared if Keitaro saw her in the less than flattering clothes she was wearing? In fact, who cared that her door was wide open and she'd left her room a complete mess, to the point where underwear was hanging from… Oh, right. She cared…

 

Within less than the most instantaneous of instants she'd slammed the door in Keitaro's face.

 

“I guess she's still tired.” The manager muttered, turning and walking away down the stairs. “I'll just let her rest a bit longer.”

 

Almost the second he was gone the door was slung back open to reveal a much tidier room and a much nicer dressed Naru. She almost felt like ta-daing for having cleaned everything up so quickly… Only the hallway was empty.

 

With a growl of frustration she began stalking through the Hinata-Sou, intent on making that ungrateful bastard pay for ignoring her. She found him on the roof, replacing a few shingles that'd been damaged last time he'd gained orbit.

 

“Oh, hey there Naru, are you feeling better alread...” He managed to say before her fist slammed into his head and launched into the woods at a low angle.

 

“Jerk!” She yelled after him and marched back to her room.

 

“Hey Naru, what are you doing up here? Keitaro said you went back to bed.” Kitsune greeted as she went up the stairs to the roof, dressed in a bikini and holding a bottle of sake with a cup.

 

“Oh he did, did he?” Naru grumbled before how Kitsune was dressed struck her. “Kitsune, why are you wearing your swimsuit?”

 

“Well if we're going to have a man around I figured I should try to look my best, so I thought I'd see how I looked with a tan.” Kitsune lied with what was for her, a completely straight face. “Besides, I just finished writing a romance novel and figured I could take a break to celebrate. Care to join me?” Kitsune asked, offering the cup.

 

“No thanks, I just cleaned my room, so I think I'll use the hot spring for a bit”

 

“Suit yourself.” Kitsune told her friend's retreating form. Grinning to herself she got ready to halve this month's rent at the same time she made her first advance on him. She stepped onto the roof. “Oh, yoo-hoo, Keitaro, you better not be peeking…” She started to say, one hand behind her back, threatening to undo her top while the other arm made sure nothing would actually be seen until she wanted it to be. Then she noticed the roof was vacant, except for some tools near a recently semi-fixed hole.

 

“Kitsune!” Naru shouted from downstairs.

 

“Darn.” The fox muttered, sitting down and opening the bottle. Figured Naru had already sent him flying, that girl really had to learn to control her temper. Kitsune hardly even noticed her top was missing until Keitaro managed to make it back, when she embarrassedly fled the roof since she was no longer psyched up enough to show off for someone at the moment. She was so shy she even forgot to get her rent reduced.

 

+++++

 

A terrible and focused calm crossed the now-fearsome visage of Keitaro as he took his exam seat. His focus and intent was pouring off him in wave, garnering unnoticed attention. Some feared the intensity radiating off him, others, the fact that he was practically a Seta clone if they knew of the archeology program here, and still others who were neither empathic nor well informed feared him for the semi-crazed appearance he had, the sort of frantic energy of a cornered animal about to strike back because he had no other route. He may well have been feral if only this was story following a different series bible, but here there was no such thing as tamer's disease so…

 

Fortunately he was in the same exam hall as something far more vicious than he. Said something gave him a classic “Iron Punch” for creeping it out, destroying the moment, the mood and the belief of many in the room that man was mortal, for Keitaro rose from the crater Naru had put him in complaining only that it had hurt “a little”. Not a single human soul in that exam hall passed that day, which explains why Gendo Rokubungie got accepted with a test from said room, putting another story into action. Another story that's not ours.

 

And so the two Tokyo-U hopefuls shambled back to the Hinata-Sou, both certain they'd failed for different reasons.

 

“Hurray for the conquering heroes!” Kitsune shouted to try and bring them into a party mood; though one look at either told everyone there it was all over. “What happened?” Kitsune switched modes after finally catching a glimpse of the two sagging, miserable human beings that staggered forwards.

 

“This idiot was making a weird face so I punched him to make him stop and everyone started staring at me through the whole exam like I'd try to kill them when they looked away. It made me too nervous to remember any of the answers!” Naru interjected first, making an exhausted face.

 

“I was trying to remember everything I'd learned and out of nowhere Naru punches me into the ground and I just forgot everything… Everything!” Keitaro started crying in his typical way, falling to his knees and grabbing Kitsune's shirt in a desperate way. “I tried and I tried to remember but everything was blank, all the answers I had were made up on the spot! How could this happen!” The sobbing wreck that was Keitaro stopped suddenly as he received an immense blush from Kitsune at what his hands were grasping right before Motoko's sword swept him away.

 

Too frazzled by the contact to reform her bravado, the mollified Kitsune fled to pretend to comfort Naru and get herself back under control. Everyone else followed suit, Motoko flustered at having not been the one he groped, after all her chest was nearly as large when unwrapped and was still growing and she could defend herself… Shouldn't that have been the first reason? Yes, after all she didn't that perverts hands gently massaging and caressing her developing… Fortunate she was out of sight when she started glowing bright red and easily ducked into her room, followed by a loud Su, who was asking why she was red like Kitsune.

 

Shinobu paused to comfort her sempai, who was currently sprawled by a tree his impact had knocked over. “Cheer up sempai; I'm sure if you did your best you couldn't have failed that badly…” The young girl tried to comfort him, not realizing failing that badly still meant failing as her mind wondered over how she wished she was Kitsune and what she'd do then.

 

Finding enough calm to put on a happy face for Shinobu, Keitaro got up to go inside saying, “Yeah, I guess it's not so bad. I mean, Seta didn't make it in until his forth try either… Thanks Shinobu.” He gave her the most sincere, happiest smile he could manage at the moment. Shinobu's heart melted and she grew to love him even more as she dived for the safety of the hot-springs to distract herself before she thought of something extremely mature for her age. Her thoughts were disobedient and kept showing her graphic fantasies anyway.

 

+++++

 

Mutsumi sighed to herself, what could have possessed Na-chan to punch Kei-kun like that during their exam. They'd both probably failed because of that. Not that she could talk; she'd have failed anyways after forgetting her name. She just felt so miserable; she'd given up both the loves of her life to each other and now discovered they didn't get along at all. Naru was obviously in denial if not completely unaware of her own feelings at the moment. Or maybe she just wanted him to be more like Seta and reacted whenever he did something she considered un-Setan-like. And Keitaro defiantly didn't feel anything besides friendship towards her in return, maybe a bit of physical attraction but nothing more.

 

And so she'd gone out on a trip of self-discovery to try and reason out if she should interfere at all, grab one of them before the other developed further feelings or try to get both of them somehow. She'd been selfless up until now and was satisfied with it as she was sure those two would enjoy their happiness together. Only they'd forgotten everything about her except their promises. All the careful orchestrating she'd helped Hina with seemed to have been wasted, he'd changed somehow that hadn't made the girls they'd gathered react like they'd wanted and needed them to. He should have gotten kicked out and then been comforted by Naru, starting their relationship again. That's been pivotal, how could it not have happened? Hina had made certain of everything before leaving. Of course all Hina wanted was to live to see her great-grandbabies being born so she might have planned something different from Mutsumi's intent.

 

Her thought were broken as somebody asked her to scoot over, since he was assigned the adjacent seat. She absently moved, glancing at the person and nearly falling over at the shock to her system. Only Keitaro caught her gently. “Are you alright?”

 

Mutsumi smiled; maybe Hina's plan was to get him to come back to her? Deciding it was worth the risk she leaned forward and kissed him before fainting. “Kei-kun.”

 

When she woke-up she was laying out across three seats in the train with some clothes pillowing her head. Clothes that smelled like Keitaro… “Oh good you're awake. You really scared me there.” Came a voice from across the aisle.

 

“K, Kei-kun?” Mutsumi asked, shocked that'd she'd accidently run into him on a trip to unwind after failing again. It was just too perfect…

 

“Um, do I know you? I'm sorry, it's just I've travelled a lot and the faces just kind of pile up you know.” Being the gentleman that he was Keitaro stood and stepped over to help her sit upright. Only the train hit a bump afterwards and he fell, face first, into her lap, one hand that had groped for something to halt his descent ended up groping something very large and quite soft. He gulped and removed himself as dignifiedly as he could, awaiting the inevitable beating that would follow.

 

Instead the girl giggled and gently removed his hand. “Same old Kei-kun.”

 

Keitaro fell into the aisle seat, stunned. “M, Mu-chan? Oh wow, it's been a really long time hasn't it Mu-chan? Uh, I can't seem to remember your real name…” Keitaro started apologizing, only to be cut off by his childhood friend.

 

“Mu-chan is fine. So what have you been up to Kei-kun?” Mutsumi inquired playfully.

 

“Well for the last two years I was working with this archeologist named Seta and then grandma called me back to the Hinata-sou and made me the manager, only it'd been converted to a girl's dorm and before that… A, are you the one I made the promise to Mu-chan?”

 

Mutsumi sighed and looked a little sad. “No Kei-kun. I'm not.”

 

“Oh. Sorry. So, um, how have you been?”

 

She smiled cheerfully and gave a small laugh. “I'm okay. Well, except that I've failed the Tokyo-U entrance exam three times now and I've recently started having fainting spells. And then there's the fact the doctors say I may die at any given moment because of my frail constitution.” She replied in an almost sing-song voice. It was all true of course, having given up both Keitaro and Naru had begun a slow self-destruction process since she'd felt she had nothing left to live for for a long time. Only recently had she decided she needed to survive to see Keitaro and Naru together, and even more recently she'd decided to get one or the other.

 

“That doesn't sound okay…” Keitaro commented absently. He then paused and considered it. “You can't go travelling alone in that condition. I was going to meet up with Seta in Kyoto after a few days seeing the sights and then we're heading to some islands called Mol-Mol for some advanced surveying, why don't you come with us until your family can pick you up?”

 

Mutsumi paused and blushed. How long could she be alone with Keitaro if she went? She smiled and accepted the offer.

 

+++++

 

 

 

+++++

 

Motoko anxiously adjusted her skirt, muttering to herself about how foolish and awkward and giraffe-like she must look while cursing her stupidity at ever donning the offending garment. She still didn't understand what had possessed her to wear it specifically, she still had a spare school uniform and though it had a skirt it was at least knee-length instead of mid-thigh length. She really knew more or less what was responsible, Urishima had commented on how unfeminine she was when she told him his perverse accidents were unmanly. Though she should have been able to shrug it off, the off-handed way he said it had wounded her deeply for some reason and the only reply she could muster was a challenge... After striking him with a boulder smashing sword, of course. She'd prove how feminine she was and he'd have to accompany her on a private training journey for almost a month.

 

In retrospect, she almost hoped she lost. Fidgeting with her skirt again when she thought a breeze threatened to blow it upwards she also wished she'd picked a subject besides clothes as a starting point, no matter how convenient it was. While taking lessons from the other residents on how to act wouldn't be so bad if she lost, especially when compared to the embarrassment the prize was sure to be, her honor demanded she at least try her hardest. Blushing heavily she made her way to the living room where everyone was waiting. She'd prove she could dress herself in civilian clothes! Besides, even she knew Kitsune's advice about rabbit-girl costumes couldn't be trusted.

 

“Whoa, you look great Motoko!” Was the first thing she heard as she entered, for some reason it was a great relief to hear Keitaro say that at the start.

 

She blushed and twisted the hem of her skirt. “No I don't. I'm too tall to wear this sort of thing.” She muttered unhappily.

 

“Besides, you're not the one judging this Keitaro, so just quiet down and let us girls decide that.” Kitsune scolded the manager gently and breezed past towards Motoko.

 

“Keitaro's right Motoko, it suits you.” Shinobu started, looking over the kendoist from across the room.

 

“Except your belly button isn't showing! Let me help you.” Su shouted energetically, attempting to remove the lower two thirds of Motoko's shirt.

 

“Su, stop it… Um, Motoko. You aren't wearing a…” Naru paused and glanced at Keitaro, leaning in close to whisper the next word. “…bra are you?”

 

Motoko blanched and flushed. “Wh, why would I need one of those?”

 

Kitsune laughed as Naru struggled to explain. “Well, what if your shirt got wet?”

 

Motoko blanched again, turning a much deeper red slower than before. “That's not it at all Naru. First off they'll probably start hurting your back before too long like they are now, not to mention… Well, just don't go doing any jumping jacks, okay?” Kitsune added, making Motoko's entire face turn crimson. “Now, I think we'd better go to my room before the next test.”

 

“Y, your room?” Motoko hesitated at the thought of a bunny-girl outfit trap being sprung.

 

“Well if you're alright going on without one that's fine, I don't think anyone else's will fit though.” Kitsune said, subtly indicating the kendoist's chest.

 

“One what?” Keitaro asked blankly, catching a dive-bombing Tama-chan before she could cuddle Motoko, who was turning an even darker shade of red as two very distinctive pieces of female anatomy hardened and became visible through her shirt after she had a thought of Keitaro saving her from the vile turtle and proceeding to…

 

Fortunately for her Kitsune drew his attention away, signaling for the grateful swordswoman to retreat. Grateful until she heard how Kitsune managed her distraction. “Oh you know, Motoko forgot to wear a bra and it's a little chilly in here.” The fox smoothly said, causing Keitaro's mind to wander.

 

For a full second, until Motoko leapt down from the staircase and sent him flying. “Kitsune!” She whined slightly, realizing she'd just lost because of the older woman. She wasn't able to do more than whine though, as Keitaro had released Tama-chan when he flew out through the door, letting the turtle resume its `Motoko in feminine clothing' hunt.

 

The kendoist got all the way to her room before she realized the clothes hadn't sapped her powers as she'd expected, given how she'd launched Keitaro without a second thought. In fact other than the turtle she almost wanted to dress like this on occasion. If her sister could do it and still surpass her, then maybe acceptance would make her stronger. She couldn't imagine how, but it might. Yes, fears would weaken her so she simply had to weed them out, being feminine was conquered so what else did she fear?

 

Turtles…

 

What else?

 

Men… Rejection by Keitaro…

 

Or worse, acceptance and lose of her sword…

 

Well, everyone had to have a few fears.

 

+++++

 

As Keitaro was walking home late one night he noticed a collection of bag-like penguins staring at the moon singing about how red it was while the old men of the town council drifted around them. He tried to ignore both of them right up until the gator tried to chomp him. Fortunately, months in the jungles and swamps of the world with Seta had long since made avoiding such beasts second nature. In fact he didn't even notice as he repeatedly avoided its jaws without really breaking his pace as he walked back to the inn. And then the woman showed up. He paused to watch her play her flute because she had a resemblance to Su, still avoiding the gator without registering that it was even there. After listening for a little while he cocked his head, making the woman gloat slightly.

 

Until he turned away, easily leaping over another attempted chomp, and started walking again.

 

“Hey! Where do you think you're going!” The woman shouted, holding the flute high above her head.

 

As Keitaro turned he performed an incredible mid-air roll to avoid the gator's teeth one final time. “Um, I was going back to the Hinata-sou. N, not that I'm a pervert and going to spy on the girls or anything. You see, I'm the manager and…” He began, stopping as another voice rose nearby.

 

“Shampoo found airen!”

 

Incredibly Keitaro evaded the dreaded amazon glomp by virtue of trying to avoid being bitten by an alligator. Before the Mol-mol native, Chinese amazon or alligator realized what was going on the man they were all trying to capture had vanished.

 

“Why Shampoo hugging too-too big lizard?”

 

+++++

 

A desperate man entered the Hinata-sou and instantly fell to his knees, begging the first thing in sight to help him. Unfortunately that was Tama-chan so he had to run off to find someone else, naturally he tripped as someone was rounding the corner and grabbed said person to balance himself. Or rather, said the waistband of said person's pants. While in some ways overjoyed that some small part of her fantasies were coming true, the embarrassment of having both one's pants and one's panties gathered suddenly and unexpectedly gathered around one's ankles was too much. Motoko stood stunned for a few seconds, warring between continuing to play out her fantasy and fleeing before her blush made her face explode. She settled for swatting the object of her obsession aside with a full power attack when panicking started to set in.

 

And off Keitaro flew, bouncing off walls like a ping-pong ball until ending up sprawled on the kitchen floor at Shinobu's feet. While Shinobu was wearing a skirt… and strawberry panties…

 

Fortunately for Keitaro he acted before she could scream. “Shinobu! You've got to help me! There's an amazon after me!” Behind a door closed from Keitaro's flight Motoko froze. “She's been chasing me all the way from China, ever since me and Seta had to flee the excavation site near their village when they started attacking us! And now she's found me again! You have to help me!” Motoko recovered and leaned against the door to listen. She was almost immediately joined by Kitsune, who happened to have a glass for just such occasions.

 

“W, what do you mean sempai?” Shinobu managed to reply, just a little out of it because how Keitaro was holding her hand while kneeling brought other thoughts to the forefront of her mind.

 

“There's some kind of local custom where if a man beats a woman in combat they have to marry them! The only way out of it would be to already be married when she finally catches up with me!”

 

At this point the door slammed open. “Absolutely not. Urishima, I will not allow you to befoul poor, innocent Shinobu! If anyone is going to marry you, it will be m…” Motoko froze again, realizing what she was doing.

 

“Me.” Kitsune jumped in, grabbing onto one of his arms before anyone else could react to Motoko's declaration.

 

“Mitsune? …Nonsense! What if this amazon decides she has to kill any obstacles to her own marriage? I shall clearly have to be the one as only I could possibly defend myself from her. Besides, my school requires its heir to be married if she doesn't take over the school.” Motoko managed to stop being embarrassed and attempted to act detached.

 

“She's right Kitsune, besides being married to an idiot, it'd probably be really dangerous.” Naru joined in.

 

“But a tribe of warrior women would have to have a warrior code, so wouldn't someone they can't fight without breaking it be better?” Kitsune countered smoothly.

 

“Uh, actually I was just going to ask to pretend to be married.” Keitaro sweat-dropped.

 

Motoko nodded. “And that deception could easily be carried on for both our benefits, I will simply invite my sister to visit once this amazon is taken care of and we shall both gain solutions to very annoying problems.”

 

“Okay then, what say we all become Keitaro's fiancés? Then she'd have to butt out because there'd be too much competition. And then of course, Keitaro'd decide from there.” Kitsune suggested.

 

Everyone froze at her husky tone; Motoko's recently loosened pants slid down her thighs and off her knees to form a pile around her ankles again, this time without her panties joining them all the way. She reacted as was typical for her.

 

Keitaro flew through a wall.

 

+++++

 

Keitaro awoke outside on a rooftop to the sounds of a stringed instrument being played.

 

“Oh, big bother, you're awake.” A tanned and strangely familiar looking woman about his own age said.

 

“Uh, hi… Do I know you?” Keitaro asked.

 

“Of course you do… huh?” Koalla stopped as four different factions suddenly appeared on the roofs around them.

 

“Airen! Obstacles is for killing!”

 

“Koalla, that is not you brother!”

 

“Unhand Keitaro you amazon!”

 

“Ah, Full-Timer, I was wondering why everyone was running in this direction.”

 

After yelling out their respective cries every group froze to evaluate the others.

 

“Airen have too too many suitors! Why Shampoo must get pervert airen?”

 

“Hey, which one's the amazon?”

 

“Koalla, get away from that man right now!”

 

“Wow, this is almost like that time in China, huh Keitaro?”

 

“Seta! You've got to save me!”

 

“Sure thing, Full-Timer, let me bring the plane around.”

 

With that he leapt off, cuing Motoko, Shampoo and both Su sisters to jump into battle.

 

Motoko clashed her blade with Shampoo's bonbori before retreating fearfully as a turtle flew close-by as Koalla amassed an army of Tama-chan to counter her sister's alligator. Shampoo attempted to press her advantage only to get swamped by turtles and Naru-punched backwards despite blocking. Then the magical girl fight got underway and lighting bolts and turtles flew left and right at random, forcing the other combatants to dodge more than fight. This went on with neither side gaining any ground until a small, extremely low flying air-plane sped by and dragged Keitaro into it.

 

“Thanks Seta, looks like Shampoo found me again.”

 

“No problem Full-Timer, but…” Seta thrust a bucket of rocks at his employee. “We're kind of strapped for time at the moment and those giants are after me again.”

 

Keitaro sighed as he took the bucket and opened the window. A few seconds later he threw the first stone as hard as he could, nailing Sergeant Sasuke Sagura's arm slave in the face, causing its head to explode. “What do they want again?”

 

“Probably just the Dead Sea Scrolls that talk about angels and children trying to kill each other.”

 

“Ah.” Keitaro threw another rock as the next arm slave rose to make up for its companion's retreat.

 

+++++

 

“Hmm. So Keitaro left the dorms. I guess I'll have to have Seta drag him back here later.” Haruka commented, blowing out smoke as she watch her nephew and love interest put on a minor light show as they vanished on the horizon, three damaged arm slaves retreating in another direction to keep Seta's prodigy from throwing more 500 kilometer per hour rocks at them.

 

+++++

 

Answer: They'd all fall in love faster.

 

+++++Author's Notes+++++

Wow, I had forgotten I even had an account with all the recent projects coming due each quarter. I had started this thing a long time ago but never really got beyond the basic ideas I wanted to use, as with this one there will be minor cross-over elements in the further chapters, and each chapter is a stand alone “What If…” idea I've had, if another author reading this likes any given idea you're welcome to write a more in-depth fic for it and ignore any elements you don't like from my version.

 

In case you didn't get all the references who destroyed Keitaro's books they were: Ra-ra Army From Dual!, Sennon Seraph from Those Who Hunt Elves, Genma and Ranma from Ranma