Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Another Naruto High School Story ❯ In Which the Splendors of Fat Friday are Revealed ( Chapter 2 )

Another Naruto High School Story

Written By: Kisara the Angel of Music

Disclaimer: I own nothing presented in this fanfic nor am I making any profit from it.

Note: Yay for the eight reviews I got! Thanks all! Also, I want to warn people of the very apparent OOCness in this chapter. I personally enjoy it when I’m reading humor fanfiction, but I know it gets on a lot of peoples nerves. So, if you’re one of them don’t read past where the setting changes to the forest. Also, since I’ve warned you I don’t want to hear complaints about it. I know it’s there, it’s supposed to be.

One last thing! For these two chapters I’ve tried to include every character, but after this one I’m not going to do that anymore as it’s hard and I think it detracts from the overall quality. So, starting chapter three it’s going to be more centered around a few main characters that I like. Hope ya enjoy!

Chapter Two: In Which the Splendors of Fat Friday are Revealed

---------- The Gymnasium

"SLAM THAT BALL INO!" yelled Jiraiya, the girls' gym teacher. He didn't bother covering up his unnerving delight that they blushed whenever he mentioned volleyballs without the volley. Nor were their spirits eased when they heard from Tsunade that he'd been the one to pick out their uniforms: Very tight, revealing shorts and a matching low cut tee shirt. Hardly a good outfit for working out, but it apparently 'gets the adrenaline running'. Who it got it running for was the real question.

"I'm trying sensei!" Ino shouted back, figuring she might as well play along with his twisted game and have some fun. "But these balls are so hard! They hurt my wrists whenever I try to spike them..."

In an attempt to hid her giggling, Tenten feigned a coughing fit. This fit was quickly proven contagious when it dawned upon Sakura and Hinata what Ino had just implied. Shortly after in became apparent that it wouldn't die down, Tenten raised her hand. "Sensei, I have to go to the bathroom. You know, girl problems."

Without waiting for a response, she tore out of the gym, the remaining girls trailing after her.

Jiraiya grinned and said to himself "Once again my brilliant schemes have allowed me to shirk my responsibilities. As a reward, it's onto the teacher's lounge to raid the fridge!"

---------- The Track Field

Orochimaru strutted across the field in a manner he must have thought was seductive. It involved giving an extra 'bounce' to his footsteps and occasionally wiggling his ass. The boys gave a consecutive shudder.

"Now," he said smoothly as he caressed the nape of Naruto's neck. "Before I start you in training for the mile test, I have an important announcement to make. Because the school's guidance counselor had an..." he paused for a moment to reminisce. “An unfortunate accident, the poor soul, I will be filling in for her duties. So, if you have any troubles you wish to talk to me about, feel free to come to my very private, confidential office.” He stroked Naruto’s cheek as he said that last sentence. Naruto looked like his face had froze when his left eye twitched and he’d been gagging on too much ramen.

Thankfully for him, Shikamaru inquired, “Should we start now sensei?”

Removing his hand begrudgingly, Orochimaru agreed. “Start with five laps around the field. And remember not to sprint in the beginning or you’ll overexert yourselves. If you faint I’ll have to carry you all the way to the nurse’s office.”

And the boys ran away as fast as they possibly could, Naruto taking the lead. The only problem was they fled the school grounds entirely, welcoming any consequences they might receive over spending another minute with their creepy teacher.

---------- Chemistry Class

Anko looked around the near empty classroom and sighed. With the exception of the four girls, Chouji was the only student present. After ten minutes of running he’d gotten too tired and decided to walk back at a sluggish pace, making it just in time for the last class of the day.

“I have to tell Orochimaru to quit scaring them off like that...” she muttered underneath her breath. “In any case, there’s still a class to teach. Today we’re going to go over the different phases of matter. There are three of them: liquid, solid and gas. When the temperature, or average kinetic energy, changes so does the phase. Well... Not always.

“It’s kind of like having a fever. Say your body’s a solid, it’ll take a huge increase in temperature to melt it. But you can still increase the temperature some without being thrown in jail. Er... usually. I mean, it could be a total accident melting someone. Lets say you were just trying to make the room a bit more comfortable and then the next thing you know your lousy, cheating boyfriend’s lying dead on the floor.

“But the bones are still there so you have to get rid of them somehow. But the initial energy you’d need to change the phase isn’t feasible on your salary so you have to crush them instead. That’s a physical change by the way. Burning someone’s a chemical change because you’re getting new products and-” she looked up from her tangent to find her students edging warily towards the door. “Yes. Um... Those are phase changes for you. Class dismissed!”

So slowly, as if afraid to make any sudden movements, the five left the classroom.

---------- The School Grounds

All was calm. Or however close to calm it could be at Konoha High. Sakura and Ino were playing Heck on one of the picnic tables near the school’s entrance, waiting for the boys to trudge back (they always did eventually) so they could choose whose house it was turn to trash. It was a tradition that every Friday they do this, both to celebrate the end of the previous week and to procrastinate on the next one’s homework. Of course, being the studious girl she was, Hinata was an exception to that rule. As it was, she was sitting nearby reviewing conjugations of irregular verbs for French. Chouji sat next to her, copying her work while he tried not to spray bits of potato chips and saliva everywhere.

It was right when Sakura was about to slap the sole remaining card and win the game that Tenten snuck up behind her and yelled “Surprise!” in a high pitched voice.

Sputtering for a moment, Sakura flailed her arms out in an attempt to keep her balance but fell backwards anyway. Cards flew everywhere, causing Ino to let out a few curses she could have only learned at a seaport.

Shaking her mighty finger of justice, Tenten said “Naughty, naughty! If Ino doesn’t have a squeaky clean mouth then she won’t get any of the tasty treats I bought!”

They all stopped what they were doing to stare at her, even Sakura whose head was still on the ground. "What?" came from Hinata as she lifted her eyes from her homework.

"Duh!" Tenten replied. "It's only the second Friday of the month!" she paused expectantly and looked around. Horrified at the lack of response, she exclaimed "You've never heard of Fat Friday before? It's the most wonderful day of the month! It's a time when countries stop fighting and rejoice in the spirit of goodwill and love among brothers. When families and friends alike come together to-"

"You've been eating sugar, haven't you?" Ino commented dryly.

"Yes. Yes I have. But the point is this holiday is for EVERYONE, from the dieting to the morbidly obese! Then, tomorrow at five A.M. we all meet up to jog twenty miles and burn off all the fat!"

"That's a stupid idea," stated Shikamaru as he led the boys back. "What kind of moron would intentionally eat himself into a stupor?"

However, the majority of the group being the easily influenced and somewhat incompetent bunch they were, were enthused over the idea. Especially Chouji, who hadn't eaten anything since his bag of chips several minutes ago.

As a result, they all began to travel to Tenten's abode.

---------- The Middle of a Random Forest

"How did we wind up here again?" asked Shikamaru, the only one left of sound mind. Neji had simply gone along with whatever Tenten forced upon him, as was his own way of showing his affections, and had shimmied up a tree somewhere pretending to be a pirate. Shino, good ole stoic Shino, had taken one swig of a pixie stick and the last thing they knew he'd left to go streaking around town. The last sane member, Sasuke, had just longed to be included so badly that he succumbed to peer pressure immediately and thus fell under the influence of toblerone. There’s a lesson to be learned in that somewhere.

"Elementary my dear Watson," said Naruto, who was sporting a new hat and a bubble pipe. "As we headed out towards Tenten's house, Kiba caught site of a conspicuous sign saying 'Private Grounds'. Of course we had to investigate the situation. Now, lets join in the wet tee-shirt contest!" He then picked up his lightweight friend and flung themselves both into the scummy pond water.

Meanwhile, Sakura was helping Ino line up the boys in their 'New Age Feministic Wet Tee Shirt Show of Spiffyness' as Tenten had dubbed it. Due to the obvious biased views of the main judge, Ino, Sasuke was currently in the lead. “And next up we have Chouji! Come on, don’t be scared. SHAKE IT CHOUJI, SHAKE IT!” As so Chouji shook it with all his might, causing his massive stomach to fling into Kiba and knock him off the ‘stage’ (a decaying tree that had fallen down).

Kiba pounced back on it and tackled Chouji with all his might, sending him flying. “You threw off my groove!” he shouted as he spiraled through the air.

By this time Naruto and Shikamaru had emerged from the water, both dripping with algae and other wide assortments of pond vegetation. Ignoring Shikamaru’s death glare, Naruto hopped onto the stage to snag the spotlight from Lee.

With his glinting teeth Lee held the obvious upper hand, but Naruto proved to have more creativity, and quickly turned the wet tee-shirt contest into a dance off. A break-dance off, to be precise. Which, as they figured out later, doing on an already half rotten piece of wood wasn't the best of ideas.

In the middle of one of Naruto's head spins the tree collapsed into itself which sent Lee, Sasuke and Naruto tumbling down into a mass of mold and liquid that wasn't water. Kiba had used his super fast reflexes to jump onto an intact tree and began to climb up, stopping every few feet to laugh at them.

Despite this occurrence, Lee and Naruto continued to dance, humming along their own music. Sasuke just clutched his knees and began to whimper: his brand new pants were beyond repair.

So, while the festivities were fun while they lasted, they soon came to a close after the local hermit informed the police there were intruders on the town's Wildlife Preserve. Their work had only just begun, though, as there were reports of another teenage boy wearing an eye-patch who jumped roof to roof, screaming his demands for rum.

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Note: Again, if you read it please review!