Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Dancing Kitsune ❯ Childishness ( Chapter 7 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: WAHAHAHAH!!! The only one who owns Naruto is under my complete control - AK! Brain not responding to stupidity levels at all time high! Must… disclaim ownership…

i… own nothing. : p

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Gaara woke up with the scent of pancakes wafting through the room.

He felt the soft fabric of a blanket tugging at his stomach.

The sound of light snoring droned up to him as he realized that it was the wee hours of the morning.

Looking down with a yawn, he sleepily saw Naruto cuddled up in a ball on his chest; the boy twitched softly in his sleep, nuzzling against the Sand ninja's body with a shiver.

Gaara let out a sigh.

Part of his mind was telling him to stop letting the child get so close and the other part was telling him to just let Naruto be…

For some reason, he preferred the second, more lenient half of his mind and Gaara let the small cuddly blond snooze on undisturbed.

He stretched a little, readjusting his sleep drenched limbs in order to get more comfortable on the overly lumpy couch.

It was then that the strangest thing happened.

Orochimaru danced into the room wearing an apron with frilly pink edges. The Sound ninja scampered around the living room with a feather duster clutched in one hand. He let out a happy sigh, tucking his long black hair behind his ears and began to clean up the mess he had made the day before.

Orochimaru stacked his books and scampered over to the corner of the bookshelf, stooping down to pick up a discarded dirty magazine that had most likely fallen down in his frenzied search of the house the night before. He tucked the magazine lovingly into the bookshelf and whistled inconspicuously to himself; he slipped out of the room and disappeared from Gaara's sight.

Gaara had never felt so violated in his entire life.

He shivered, tucking Naruto closer under the blanket.

He hoped that he would never see anything more horrific in his life.

Orochimaru sauntered back into the room with a large plate of pancakes cradled carefully on his palms; he smiled sweetly to Gaara and tilted his head to one side, eyes tightly closed in a gigantic expression of happiness.

He stood a few inches from the couch and leaned closer to grin at the sleeping form of Naruto.

" Good Morning my two sweet little sleepers!" He cooed.

Gaara gulped and shifted nervously in his place.

" Yes… um… good morning… too."

Naruto let out a yawn and sat up, rubbing his eyes with his tiny hands.

" Mmm… morning Oro… Gaara."

Orochimaru's eyes lit up like lights on a Christmas tree.

" AH! Naruto-kun! Good morning! Would you like pancakes?"

Naruto nodded excitedly, hopping off of Gaara faster then he would have jumped off a hot burner.

" Yeah! Pancakes!"

Orochimaru sauntered toward the kitchen with Naruto bobbing at his heels; the Sound ninja looked more like a pleased mother then an evil madman in Gaara's opinion and it was this reason why Gaara felt he had to accompany Naruto wherever the boy went from now on.

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It was the tenth day of Naruto being a child and for some reason; Orochimaru had become somewhat less terrifying to deal with in Gaara's eyes.

True, the Sand ninja hadn't exactly spent a lot of time with the Ex- leaf ninja; but he found it a tad hard to swallow when Orochimaru had started to spend hours on end playing games and making cookies with Naruto.

Somehow, Gaara thought to himself, Orochimaru was plotting something bad.

He didn't like it one bit.

Gaara had spent all of the ten days hovering suspiciously over the pair with watchful eyes; never letting Orochimaru out of his sight for more then a few seconds.

The adult's behaviour was perplexing to Gaara.

He had never received so much attention from a male role model as a child as Naruto was receiving from Orochimaru. The constant worry and preening of the Adult to the child touched a nerve in Gaara's heart.

He could tell that something was wrong.

Why else would Orochimaru, the porn magazine, half crazed body snatching monster want to pay attention to a little, small, easily startled, sweet and innocent boy like Naruto?

Even Naruto seemed to know that something was up, though the boy didn't seem to know why or how.

Orochimaru on the other hand seemed oblivious to the entire thing, as if it were no more then a mid-life crisis he was going through instead of some strange and deranged child-rearing plot.

Gaara was thankful that there were only four days left in the transformation.

He wanted to spend more time with the ninja; but if it ment spending more hours with Orochimaru, he would have rather died.

The sand ninja sighed and buried his face in his hands.

He was sitting on the couch watching Naruto and Orochimaru playing with a puzzle.

The entire concept was driving Gaara insane. It was stupid.

The pair of them were just sitting there on the floor trying to stick the pieces together, not even bothering to make sure they were going in the right way. Sure, Gaara hadn't played with puzzles as a little child, but he sure as hell knew that the pair were doing it wrong.

He had had to restrain himself in order to keep from disembowelling himself for the fun of having something interesting to do.

Yet there the pair were, seated calmly on the carpet with a puzzle of something Gaara thought he almost recognized.

It seemed almost inconceivable to think that they could be doing anything other then avoiding eye contact.

Well, Gaara thought sadly.

There wasn't anything he could do to stop Orochimaru from having his fun. Besides, all he had to do now was wait four more days and then Naruto would be back in his right age and in Gaara's arms-

WHAT?! He thought, shaking his head as hard as he could. He shook his head so hard in fact, that he ended up seeing stars for a few seconds after he had stopped.

Waiting four more days till Naruto was back in his arms? That wasn't right.

Gaara shook his head again.

Nope. He wasn't falling for the innocently loveable Uzumaki Naruto.

He blushed into his hands, feeling the beat red of his face burning its way through his fingers to match his hair.

There was no way this was going to happen to him. No Way.

NO.

He wasn't going to let himself get wormed into the little trap there was in human emotions called love.

There was no way he was going to let his little crush get total control over him -

" Gaara?"

Naruto was standing in front of him with his small chubby hands on Gaara's knees; the child looked up with his bright crystalline blue eyes into the elder's eyes, blinking and smiling.

Gaara slowly peeled his hands off his face, reworking his emotional mask.

" yes?" he asked with a dull growl.

Naruto grinned, pulling himself up onto Gaara's lap with a look of complete bliss on his face.

" Look at our puzzle! We finished it! Isn't it great?"

Gaara peeked over Naruto's little blond head at the puzzle.

Orochimaru grinned at him, licking his lips; around him, were the scattered remains of the puzzle pieces that they hadn't quite managed to fit properly together.

The image that remained in the scattered ring of debris beside Orochimaru was a provocative picture of a half naked man's ass just barley covered by a tiny string thong of silver with stars of gold.

Gaara nearly choked.

He pointed one shaking finger at Orochimaru enraged beyond belief.

" you made him work on a naked man's ass puzzle? Are you mad?" he hissed, putting his free hand over Naruto's eyes to shield him from the sight.

Orochimaru stuck out his lower lip and batted his eyelashes, tucking his hair behind his ears.

" Oh come on Gaara-kun. It's not that bad. I made the adult decision to pick the least revealing puzzle. Your lucky I didn't choose the one that was completely naked - and that was just because I wanted to do it by myself in private."

Gaara stared incredulously at Orochimaru.

" What?" He managed to murmur.

Orochimaru nodded once, tilting his head to the side.

" Oh yes. And that particular puzzle I've done so many times I can't remember if it's entirely suitable without taking a good long look at the cover… not that I would do such a thing with people around. It's not nice to not share when with guests."

Naruto grinned and leaned back against Gaara, tucking the older man's arm around his middle.

" Isn't it neat?"

A tiny trail of sand began to work its way across the carpet, working its way toward the puzzle to tear it to pieces.

Orochimaru slapped it away and glared at Gaara.

" It's delicious, and don't you dare try to kill it. I want to take a picture of it…"

The Sound ninja sighed and stretched out beside the montage, curling his long and slender limbs protectively around the image.

" Gaara-kun? What's delicious mean?" Naruto asked thoughtfully, tugging delicately on the sand ninja's arm.

Gaara slumped his shoulders, sighing with exasperation.

" Didn't anyone teach you meanings of words when you were little?" he asked.

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

" But I am little. What do you mean?"

Gaara felt as if someone had smacked him upside the head with a dictionary. He sighed again and rolled his eyes.

" Delicious means something that's really great. Usually it is applied to a taste or an image that makes a person feel something. It's an adjective."

Naruto blinked in wonder.

" Oh. Ok. I guess that makes sense. Does it apply to Ramen?"

With a scowl, Gaara nodded.

" yes. It applies to Ramen."

Naruto yawned and giggled.

" Gaara-kun? What does sex mean? I heard someone talking about it a while ago and they didn't want to explain it to me; they just went all red in the face and then sent me funny looks."

Orochimaru sat up almost instantaneously.

He brushed his hair out of his face and grinned mischievously at Gaara.

" yes Gaara-kun. What DOES sex mean? I've never really known myself. Would you kindly explain it for me?" the sound ninja asked slyly.

Gaara's left eye began to twitch viciously, like a dog chained in its yard too frequently that had had finally been released.

He shifted on the couch, clearing his throat while trying to think of the best way to `explain' the word to the boy in a way that would make sense but not overly traumatize the child.

Finally, after a few minutes of deliberation, Gaara came to his decision.

" It means when a woman and a man, or a man and a man try to… enjoy each others company."

Naruto blinked innocently.

" Enjoy each others company? Does that mean, like, sitting around?" he asked.

Gaara laughed nervously, sweat dripping down the side of his face.

" Er… not really that way… I mean, in a more physical way. It's when they sleep together."

Orochimaru looked immediately amused and he leaned forwards to get a better look at the pair.

" Oh." Naruto said, frowning.

" But you and I have slept together. Does that mean we've had sex?" he asked.

Gaara's left eye began to twitch again.

" No. That is not the sleeping together I'm talking about… I mean… men have cars and women have carports. The men put their cars in the women's carports - or in some cases, the men put their cars in the other men's backyard - and they park over night." Gaara gestured lamely with his hands, trying to capture what he ment when Orochimaru burst into laughter.

Naruto looked meekly at the adult, concerned and confused.

" But I don't get it. What's a car? And why would a man park his car in some other man's backyard? Don't they have the right to use the garage, or even the street in front of the person's house? That doesn't seem fair to me." The young boy said.

Orochimaru snorted and covered his mouth to keep from inhaling the puzzle pieces when he had to suck in a breath of air to keep from passing out from his wild and untamed laughter.

He rolled onto his side and giggled into the floor; shoulders shaking like an avalanche.

Gaara moaned in distress and shook his head; he picked Naruto up and put him down on the couch, stalking over to the bookshelf. He yanked a magazine out of the first shelf he got to and pulled it open to a centrefold picture of a man and women engaging in some car and carport action.

He held the image up and pointed to it.

"Just look at the picture. It should explain everything." The sand ninja said.

Naruto stared at the picture with eyes as wide as saucers. His mouth dropped open and he gulped nervously.

" But that's gross. Why would someone try to do that? It doesn't look - put it away!"

Gaara smiled sweetly.

" Sure, Just as long as you never tell anyone about this little conversation again, Alright?"

Naruto nodded.

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It had been a long ten days of hard searching.

Sasuke found it impossible to walk without wincing from the many blisters on his feet.

They had been walking for days to reach the hidden village of sand; stopping only every once in a while to rest for the night. There wasn't much in the way of food left. They had gathered as much as they could before leaving the hidden leaf village and it hadn't been much. Kakashi had estimated that it would last them at least seven days and now they were three days over that limit with no food and a few little mouthfuls of water left that were squabbled over.

They were standing at the front of a partially levelled town somewhere outside the hidden village of sand, tired and famished.

Kakashi's golden dog-ears were flattened hopelessly against the top of his head in defeat.

Iruka stopped dead in his tracks, holding Kiba up from a faint the boy had suffered from.

" Kakashi-kun. We can't go on any further. There is nothing left of the hidden village of Sand. Look at this place… it's not even hospitable and you can see the village from here… it's empty." Iruka said softly, shaking his head.

" We have to think of a new plan."

Shikamaru sighed, falling to his knees in the soft sand.

" There is no new plan Iruka-Sensei. We've got nowhere else to try. We'll never make it any further then this anyways… we've got no food, no water… no will to carry on… face it…"

Shino spat bitterly into the ground, shaking his head in dismay.

" It's not right… we shouldn't have to give up like this. There's got to be another way."

Sasuke straightened his posture, eyes narrowed with undying determination.

" We've not giving up. We're going to find Naruto if he's alive and we're going to save the world from my brother. We cannot give up now and let them live. We are the last chance for hope."

The wind began to pick up, tossing the fine grains of sand into the air like speckled confetti.

In an instant, a storm had worked its way up from the seeming nothingness of the desert; everyone cringed and fell to their knees, shielding their faces from the slashing attack of the elements.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and ducked his face close to his chest; he pulled his shirt up around his nose and squeezed his eyes shut.

He couldn't give up now.

He wouldn't give up on Naruto without a fight and proof of foul play.

He couldn't allow the lack of resources to stop him. He would leave on his own if he had to. If need be he would abandon the rest and set off to search for Naruto on his own.

Kakashi moved toward him, as if sensing the change, and pulled his vest off; he placed it upon Sasuke's head, blocking out the sand, and huddled close against his charge.

" Sasuke-kun. We won't give up. We won't let Itachi win; but in order to do that, we've got to find some place with food and water… gods… I wish Sakura were still here. She would know what to do…"

Iruka dragged Kiba's limp form over to the pair, huddling against them to fend off the sand.

" Everyone! Huddle together. We'll never make it if we don't stick together."

Shikamaru scowled and crawled on hands and knees across the barren yet smooth wasteland toward the group. He hooked Hinata's arm and pulled her along with him to Sasuke's side; crouching there with his cheek pressed against the coarse fabric of his shirt as he tried to keep his eyes from the desert's long angry fingers.

" Where the next stop then eh? I know you bunch wouldn't give up so easily and I want to know where we are going…" the genius ninja asked with a cough.

Neiji slid towards them with Rock Lee under one arm; he slipped into the final place with Shino at his side and they huddled together to keep from further punishment by nature.

Sasuke coughed weakly, suddenly loosing all strength.

" Kakashi-sensei… we can't let them get Naruto… we can't just let them win…" he choked out, tears watering his cheeks as the sand irritated his eyes.

Kakashi nodded vigorously, pulling Iruka closer under the shelter of his vest.

" We won't give up… but we've got to head back to the other villages if we want to live… it might be smarter then just hanging around here… we should head to the mountains…"

Shikamaru ducked a hunk of flying debris and crouched low against Sasuke's shoulder, causing a light pink to stamp the Uchiha's face.

" We must get out of here… or else, Naruto's fate will be out of our hands…"

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Naruto lay dozing in a patch of sunlight that was streaming through the open window.

He had found this strange and empty room one day while playing hide and seek with Orochimaru and Gaara and had instantly liked it.

The room was relatively small but comfortable; it had pale cloud blue walls and thin white curtains that let the golden rays of the sun dance through them in the morning. It radiated peace and tranquility; but for some reason, Orochimaru seemed to have left the room completely empty except for those blinds. It was as if the man had been waiting for something, perhaps preparing for something that would never come.

At first, it had made Naruto sad to be in the room while the others wandered outside in their own little worlds, but then things became easier to understand. He could tell that Gaara and Orochimaru were waiting for something to happen. He knew that they were just biding their time till something changed in himself.

He didn't like it one bit.

There wasn't anyone to trust in the house he had thought, until Gaara had found him crying behind the couch.

Naruto hadn't realized how much the older sand ninja ment to him until that time.

He had cried for hours into Gaara's shirt, sobbing for the information he didn't know and didn't want to know.

Gaara had simply hugged him to his chest, perhaps crying inwardly.

That had been four days ago; from what Naruto could tell, this day was the one the pair had been waiting for since the beginning.

He decided to spend the rest of the day curled up in the warmth of the sun, letting it tickle his spirit back into good nature. For some reason, it felt like there would be no more quiet days like this left for him.

It made him sad to think that one day he might be separated from Gaara and Orochimaru…

He yawned and tried to close his eyes, not noticing Gaara standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

Gaara sighed and stalked out into the room, falling to his knees.

He sat down beside Naruto and ran his fingers through the boy's hair, trying to reassure Naruto, but found he wasn't able to.

Naruto rolled over the stared Gaara in the eye, lower lip trembling dangerously.

" Gaara? What's happening to me?" he asked.

Gaara didn't even try to fake looking surprised.

" your turning back into your true form." He said with a calmness that made Naruto's spirit sink back into a pit of despair.

" Back into my true form? Does that mean i… I'm some sort of monster?" he whimpered.

Gaara shook his head, stroking Naruto's forehead with his soft fingers.

" No Naruto-kun. You're not a monster… you're just going to return to the proper age… you are after all much older then you look. I'll miss it." the sand ninja smiled and looked away, staring at the falling sun with its dying rays of golden hope.

Naruto sat up, crawling into Gaara's lap to stare at the sunset.

He watched the orange gold orb descend to the earth through the glimmering glass, drawing in a deep breath when it vanished into the earth in a wave of pink and red; it felt as if some part of him had died.

In an instant, a red light encircled Naruto, shining with a radiance that seemed to burn like fire.

It vanished as quickly as it had come, and Naruto found himself sitting on Gaara's lap.

He was confused and nervous.

" What happened? Where are we?" he asked, about to jump free from Gaara's body when the sand ninja leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his middle, snuggling his face into the back of Naruto's neck.

" your safe now… I promised I wouldn't let anyone hurt you and it's over… it's over now…" Gaara murmured. He found tears in his eyes and tried to block them out; Naruto turned around and sat quiet as a mouse in Gaara's grasp, staring at the crying ninja.

" Gaara-kun? Wha…" he started, then froze.

With a steady hand, Naruto reached out and brushed the tears from Gaara's face.

He couldn't help but wrap his arms around the red head; he could hear Gaara sobbing against him through his shirt.

Naruto stroked Gaara's back, murmuring softly to comfort the man. He ran his fingers through Gaara's hair, letting his fingers work their way through the soft silken mass like touching liquid silk.

He heard Gaara sniffle and pulled free far enough to look the sand ninja in the eyes; he lifted Gaara's chin in his hands, staring into dark pools of dulled emerald.

" Gaara-kun…"

He leaned forward, sealing his lips over Gaara's.

He felt Gaara's hands running up the back of his shirt and tried not to moan into the man's mouth; he leaned forward, pressing himself against Gaara and they fell in unison backwards to the ground.

Naruto continued to kiss Gaara, tasting the man's flavour on his lips as if he were eating a bowl of ramen; the flavour was of dulled cloves and apples, the flavour of the summer.

Gaara kissed him fiercely, as if expecting to be pushed away at any moment; he began to caress the side of Naruto's face with a trembling hand, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingertips become absolutely irresistible.

Naruto found his fingers working at the top button of Gaara's pants; Gaara thrust his hips out as if to help him, moaning softly into Naruto's lips.

Breathless, Gaara slipped one hand to Naruto's backside and slipped his fingers between Naruto's warm thighs, receiving a moan.

" Naruto-kun…" Gaara whispered, drunken with emotion.

Naruto pulled up, sucking air into his lungs. He panted, looking down at Gaara with eyes of a thousand thoughts. He blushed, but leaned down again and settled his body between Gaara's open knees, feeling swelled hardness pressing up against his stomach.

Gaara locked eyes with Naruto, lips trembling with ecstasy. He pressed his hips against Naruto's groin, tempting the blond to go farther.

Moonstruck, Naruto sunk down onto Gaara's chest, passionately devoting his time to the supple curve of the ninja's waist.

He began to slowly play with the yielding fabric of the sand ninja's shirt; he lifted it up and began to trace small, tender circles around Gaara's pale flesh.

Gaara let out a held in breath, shifting his body closer.

Naruto stared at the alluring flesh, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth; he slipped one hand down and brushed the belt of Gaara's pants once.

The smooth cold metal of the clasp shimmered in the dusk light like a dancing light only for his eyes.

He glossed over the metal with his index finger, licking his lips.

" Naruto-kun…" Gaara breathed, fingers finding their way back into Naruto's hair.

" Do you two mind if I commit this to memory? Or shall I have to take pictures instead?"

Both men jumped up, faces glowing red with embarrassment. They stared incredulously at the intruder; Orochimaru grinned back at them with his hands on his hips.

He shook a finger at the pair and tisked lightly.

" No hanky panky while your living under my roof, understand? And that means you have to keep your hands off everyone." Orochimaru laughed, shaking his head.

He waved one hand at the pair and gestured to the front of Gaara's pants.

" My, weren't you two busy? Ne? Perhaps I should have waited a few moments longer before `intruding' on your playtime? It would have been much more entertaining…" he broke off when Naruto and Gaara began to glare full force at him, eyes twitching dangerously.

" Anyways… I have some important information to tell you two lovebirds. The Uchiha and his little group of flunkies have finally reached the bottom of the cliff and they appear to be looking for you Naruto-kun. I would hate to disappoint anyone but I have a few rules to put into action when they come up here. You'll have to tell them all this…"

He held up one finger gleeful as a two year old being allowed candy.

" Rule number one is one you're already familiar with. No hanky panky unless it involves me and number two: Kakashi is not allowed to wear pants."

Naruto stared in disbelief at Orochimaru.

" How the hell did I get here?" he yelled.

Orochimaru frowned and then sighed in exasperation.

" Oh… I forgot. You don't remember anything about the past fourteen days, do you Naruto-kun?"

The snake ninja shook his head and began to caress his hair lovingly.

" We'll explain it to you in a minute… first, go get your silly little friends from downstairs. I don't like to keep my guests waiting. And don't mention your little lapse of memory to anyone… I don't think they'll like it one bit. "

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Naruto scratched his head, laughing nervously as Gaara led him to the path that would lead him to his friends.

He noticed the nervous look on Gaara's face and smiled, looking down at his feet with a sigh.

" Um… look. I'm not sure what happened between us - "

" Don't say anything… alright? It's not like… I… I mean… it's not like you have to make anything out of it if you don't want to but - " Gaara began, breaking off every few seconds to look away with a blush of crimson spreading across his face.

Naruto raised and eyebrow and put his hands on his heck, elbows pointing to the sky.

" I'd like that… "

Gaara froze, eyes narrowing.

" you'd like what?"

" you." Naruto said, continuing to walk past Gaara.

Gaara blushed harder and scurried to catch up, grabbing Naruto by the arm to keep the blond from getting too far ahead. His cat ears flattened in displeasure of being left behind.

" Naruto-kun… don't you think the others will get a little… upset?"

He twiddled his fingers as Naruto's foxtail twitched back and forth in front of him.

Naruto shrugged, ignoring the uneasiness Gaara had with telling the others.

" I don't care. They are my friends. They'll understand." He sighed and paused to stare down the cliff face at the small shapes of his friends down below.

" Besides… it's not like I'm married to them. Sure, I live with Sasuke, but it'll all work out. I just hope everything's ok… from here it looks like someone's missing…"

Naruto had never felt so many sets of eyes looking at him with happiness.

He saw the familiar faces of Kiba, Shino, Rock Lee, Neiji, Hinata, Shikamaru, Kakashi and Iruka.

Sasuke…

Sasuke looked as if he had been walked through a million deserts in his underwear. His face was streaked with dust, just like the rest of the group, but for some reason Sasuke seemed to stand out against the rest.

The moment Sasuke saw Naruto, Sasuke looked like he was going to burst into tears of relief.

" Naruto-kun!"

He ran forwards and seized Naruto by the shoulders, shaking him fiercely.

" You damned idiot! You had us all worried sick! Wandering off with - "

Sasuke glared at Gaara.

" With that."

Gaara frowned, tapping his fingers on crossed arms.

" Do I sense that you have a problem with me Uchiha?" he asked.

Sasuke pulled Naruto toward Kakashi and the others; it was clear that he didn't want Gaara anywhere near Naruto.

" We have to go." He said.

" You're not going anywhere." Gaara growled, glaring at Sasuke.

Sasuke turned around slowly; his left eye began to twitch ever so slightly.

" Are you going to make me hurt you?"

Naruto laughed mindlessly; he slipped free from Sasuke's grasp and walked back to Gaara. He stood with lax stance and cleared his throat. The others looked at him expectantly.

" Um… Orochimaru says that you can stay in his house with us… he's only got two rules though…" the blond ninja said.

Kakashi's only visible eye widened in shock upon hearing this; he turned and stared long and hard at Naruto.

Iruka nodded once, instantly agreeing with the idea.

" We've got to stay some place… and if we don't stop now we'll be dehydrated… I suppose it's safe to say that Orochimaru isn't quite in on Itachi's side at the moment and we can use all the help we can get."

Iruka nodded, and the others followed suit.

Kakashi cleared his throat loudly, drawing all attention to him.

" if I may be so bold… what are his little rules?"

Naruto laughed nervously, scratching his head again. He took a little step behind Gaara and put his hands on the sand ninja.

" Um… first condition is easy enough. No hanky panky in the house unless it involves Orochimaru."

Shikamaru shrugged, elbowing Shino.

" Guess that means you can't feel anyone up."

Shino sent him a dark look.

" Since when do I feel people up? I like bugs remember? That doesn't usually attract the ladies if you know what I mean."

Kakashi on the other hand, seemed more interested in the second rule.

" and the second condition?"

Naruto ducked behind Gaara again.

" Um… Kakashi-sensei isn't allowed to wear pants."

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T.B.C