Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Greatest Potion For Sasuke! ❯ Ultimate Purple Glob�! ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: Sasuke drank a potion that wasn't really meant for him. Now, this potion makes people do what they want to do. Say what they want to say. This potion makes one person to say the TRUTH! So? What's the effect of this towards Sakura?

Tsunade laughed as she held a tube with purple, sparkling glob in it. “Do you know what this is, my dear pupil? I'll tell you what this is… This is the…” Pause. Tsunade gestured Shizune, while her apprentice sighed.

Shizune clicked a button on a recorder.

“TIEN TIEN TIEN TIEEEEEN!! TA-DAAA!” The music played.

“THE ULTIMATE PURPLE GLOB!!” Tsunade cheered and made a peace sign. “So… what does the purple glob do?” Sakura asked in a bored manner. “The ULTIMATE PURPLE GLOB makes a person tell the truth! No lies, no secrets! I'm gonna let Kakashi drink this up!” Tsunade grinned widely.

“AND THEN… HE'LL— FOR THE FIRST TIME— SAY THE TRUTH!” Tsunade laughed again. Shizune clicked the button… “Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was black as coal! And every time it jumps a fence you can see its pink asshol-…” Tsunade chopped the machine with an axe that I don't know where it came from!

She glared at the remains of the device. “Jeez… Do you want the authoress to be mad? We can't put on any f(censored!) bad words!”

Shizune and Sakura sweat dropped. “Uh, question!” Sakura raised her hand. “How are you gonna make… Kakashi-sensei drink that? Surely Kakashi-sensei won't just drink some weird -looking stuff!” Sakura reasoned out. Tsunade rubbed her chin, “well, I haven't thought of that. Hmm…”

Sakura sighed. But then…

“A-ha!” Tsunade lightened up, “I just forgot! I'm the Hokage! I shall be followed!”

“You want me to drink up Barney?!” Kakashi repeated with a raised brow.

“No, no, no! I want you to drink up the ULTIMATE PURPLE GLOB!” Tsunade corrected with a friendly smile.

“…” Kakashi was silent for a while. He scratched his head, “err… What's the difference?” Tsunade slammed her hand on her desk, “STOP STALLING, GOD DAMN IT!! JUST DRINK IT!” She demanded with a deadly look.

Kakashi crossed his arms. “I will… later.”

“W- WHAT?! WHY NOT NOW?!?!?” Tsunade pouted.

“I'm not thirsty!” He replied with a goofy smile. Tsunade puffed, “all right fine! Just make sure that you drink it!”

“Why is it so important to you?” Kakashi asked, but run away from Tsunade's office, avoiding the bottle of sake that will supposedly smash upon his masked face. Good thing, with Kakashi's fast reflexes (Kakashi: Ahem!) he avoided the tragedy of being masked with bandages instead.

Not that Kakashi would really disobey Tsunade. But that doesn't mean that he'll oblige, too. So what does he do?

“You want me to drink a purple sludge?” Sasuke reiterated. Kakashi nodded anxiously. “It's part of training for today!” He lied. Sasuke raised a brow, “will Naruto and Sakura drink this also?”

Kakashi thought for a while and then, “yes! Yes, they would!”

Sasuke hesitated, he didn't like that evil smile of Kakashi, but, hey! Kakashi has his “Taunt-Sasuke's-Pride!” attitude.

“Or are you too scared to swallow a useless-…” Before Kakashi could ever finish, Sasuke grabbed the tube from Kakashi's hands. “Alright already! I'll drink that ugly piece of… thing.” Kakashi grinned as he rubbed his palms together.

As soon as Sasuke gulped down the liquid, he felt funny. He felt weird. “What's this stuff?” And then everything started to swirl! He felt free… He felt wild!

“Uh, Sasuke? Sasuke? Yoo-hoo? Earth to Sasuke.” Kakashi groaned. “Jeez, talk about confused with a capital C.” Sasuke scratched his head and then yawned. “Man, I just got this weird feeling just now!” He exclaimed.

“Uh-huh?” Kakashi replied with a perplexed look.

Is this the effect of the potion? Kakashi asked to himself.

Perhaps.

Kakashi grinned, “hey, Sasuke! Do you know that the thing you just swallowed is a potion that makes you say the truth? Huh? So… What do you think of Sakura?”

Sasuke yawned, “Why should I tell?” But then, something twitched inside Sasuke. He shook his head rapidly and… “Sakura? Oh you mean the pretty pink-haired girl. Yeah, she's hot.” Kakashi widened his eyes, oh he's enjoying this. “Then why do you act stoic and so darn cold towards her?” Kakashi asked in curiosity.

Sasuke sighed, “you know… I'm always cold and emotionless towards all people. That doesn't exclude Sakura. Y'know.”

“But you do love her, don't you?” Kakashi asked.

“Well… Yeah.” Sasuke's face turned red. “Ah, what am I saying?” He asked himself.

“Then… you should consider Sakura special because SHE is the one you love, right?” Kakashi continued his interrogation. Sasuk raised a brow, “hell, why am I sticking with your questio-…”

Pause.

Twitch.

Bingo!!

“Hmm… Yeah, I consider her special. But she just don't know it. You know, that if she's just an ordinary fan girl, I should've punched her face every now and then. And if she's an ordinary fan girl, then I shouldn't have accepted her gifts to me secretly!” Sasuke answered.

Kakashi grinned. “All right… Here comes Sakura! Be right back, okay, Sasuke?”

Sasuke nodded. “OK, here comes Sakura, must keep real emotions inside.”

“Huh? Why don't you just confess?” Kakashi asked and scratched his head in bewilderment. Sasuke rolled his eyes, “dude, I'm a prodigy! Do you think my pride is SO low that I can confess that easily! Come on, man! Are you stupid?” Kakashi sighed by this answer. “Whatever, Mr. Prodigy.” Kakashi disappeared, leaving a puff of smoke.

“Good morning, Sasuke-kun!” Sakura greeted with a smile.

Silence.

Twitch.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch!

“Sasuke-kun? Is there something wrong? You look irritated.” She asked with a concerned look, while Sasuke felt the twitching monotonously. This… Twitch! Is… Twitch! ANNOYING… He thought. Poor Sasuke.

Readers… I have a reminder for you. Tsunade DID say that the potion makes you say what you want to say. Makes you do what you want to do! So… what happens when Sasuke's craving to confess but doesn't have the courage for it?

I think you can consider me evil now. Because… HELL! I'm gonna make Sasuke veeery OOC right this moment!

“Sakura, I've been trying to say this to you for a long time…” Sasuke stated, while Sakura tilted her head slightly. “What, Sasuke-kun?”

“Sakura, I—…”

Wait! I'm gonna hang you up there. Let's go to another scene…

“Hey! I got a great idea!” Naruto shouted, Kakashi beside him scowled. “Well, I've got a better idea!”

“Whoa, whoa! Chill! What's goin' on?” A man asked. Kakashi and Naruto lightened up. “I have an excellent idea!”

“All right? Hit me.” The man nodded, sitting on the ground.

“Well, you see, I just found out that Tsunade-baa-chan made this concoction that makes people say the truth! Not only that, let people do what they want to do! I figured we should make somebody drink it!” Naruto laughed maniacally.

“Jeez, that's old news! I've got the juiciest thing! Sasuke DRANK that stuff!” Kakashi grinned broadly.

The man clapped his hands once, “good work, Kakashi! You've got the fantastic issue!” He complimented, while Kakashi got another proud smile. He could've stuck his tongue out for Naruto, but that won't be possible because he got a mask on!

“A mixture by Tsunade that makes people free. Drank by Sasuke? Hmm… This is extraordinary!” He rubbed his chin playfully. Kakashi raised a finger, “hey! A while ago Sasuke and I got a little conversation. I think the effect of the mixture got into him, and he starts opening to me! He even said to me that he thinks Sakura's hot!”

Naruto frowned, Kakashi's having the rumors faster than usual now. “Good work… but I need more details! DETAILS! I think it's time one of you spy at them.”

“OH I WOULD! I COULD TAKE DETAILS!” Naruto raised his hands blissfully. Kakashi widened his eyes, “NO! I would! I would get the details!”

Naruto bonked Kakashi on the head! “NO, DOOFUS! I will!”

“How dare you bonk me?! A perfect figure of human! You shall have bad luck for eternity!” Kakashi retorted.

“Doofus!”

“Hmph!”

“Why don't you two just work together! I need details quick, you know?” He complained and cracked his knuckles. “Now go!”

OMG! What should I do? Sasuke just confessed! OMG! OMG! OMG!

Girl, just go right up to him and kiss the lights outta him!!! Sakura's inner self answered. Sakura could only glare inwardly by her inner self's answer. They were just standing at their usual spot—the bridge—waiting for their other teammates to come. Little did they know, their other teammates aren't even planning to come! But… they are safely hidden from a bush, staring intently at the two.

Something made Sakura shocked. “Sakura, are you all right? You look awfully restless.” Sakura's eyes went wide! Her jaw dropped, and her heart skipped a beat! Sasuke. Just. Said. That!

“I-I… I'm fine.” She answered.

“You sure?”

Sakura only nodded.

Maybe it's a jutsu. Inner Sakura concluded. Sakura thought for a while, no, it can't be. I can feel his charka.

Then what do you think, smarty-pants? Some miracle object made Sasuke act like that?

Hmm… Oh I know! Tsunade-sama showed me some weird stuff! The… what do you call that again? Well, whatever! She said that it makes people say the truth!

Silence.

No, that doesn't sound right.

AAAAAAH!! SASUKE LIKES OUTER SAKURA!! OH MY DEAR LORD, YEAH!! THAT'S GOOD! THAT'S GOOOOD!

Shut up! That's not right.

Meanwhile… Sasuke's been awfully silent. He hated himself for showing such affection towards Sakura… though… He felt good. Ah! He's eyes can't help but stare at Sakura.

Sakura noticed this, “what are you gawking at?” She asked with another sweet smile of hers. Sasuke smirked, “why do you think you're beautiful?”

Sakura just responded with another smile. Sasuke continued to smirk, “well then, you're right.”

Sakura blushed abruptly.

“Get that! Get that! HURRY, YOU IDIOT!” Kakashi yelled in a silent manner(?) Naruto rolled his eyes, “all right! All right!”

Click.

Shot!

Yet another Bingo!!

“Good, good.”

Back to Sakura and Sasuke… Sakura still has that faint pink on her cheeks. “Will you stop blushing! It's so darn annoying…” Sasuke blurted out. Sakura shook her head, and apologized afterwards.

“So annoying…”

Pause.

Smirk.

“… Yet so cute.” He continued. I told you, I'll make Sasuke OOC. >:)

Sasuke sighed. “I think, Kakashi-sensei and Naruto won't be appearing.”

Sakura sighed, too. “Yeah, I think so, too.”

“Great minds think the same!”

“What?”

Sasuke chuckled. “Nothing.”

He started to leave, while Sakura just stared at his retreating figure. But then, he looked back with another smirk. “Well, are you just gonna gape at me like that? Come on!”

Sakura nodded and run at the side of Sasuke. Now, Sasuke's been strangely weird, is he? Well, that's the affect of the potion, right? The potion makes you do what you want to do. Makes you say what you want to say. Makes you feel what you want to feel. Makes you tell the truth… whether you like it or not.

So… they walked and walked even though they have no idea where to go. Interesting.

… Oh! I just forgot… I have a session with Tsunade-sama right…. Now!

Hell no! That can't be! Aww… and I was just having fun.

Well sorry to burst your bubble!

“Err… Sasuke-kun?” Sakura called in a small whisper. Sasuke turned to her. “what?”

She gulped. “I just remembered that I'm supposed to be busy and… and I need to go on a conference with Tsunade-sama by this time.” Sasuke rolled his eyes in reply, “even though you're busy, that doesn't mean you shouldn't… eat lunch.”

Sakura didn't actually get what Sasuke meant. “What?”

“One violation wouldn't kill you, will it?”

Sakura hesitated. Either Sasuke, or Tsunade. You pick… Well even if you pick Tsunade, I pick Sasuke! And there's nothing you can do about it.

“But, Sasuke, Tsunade-sama would be mad at me.”

He chuckled, “well, I'll take part of the blame.” He smirked. Sakura scratched the back of her head, “that's a promise, all right?”

And so they continued to walk. Sasuke leading the way, while Sakura following his tracks.

In the meantime… “We really should spice things up!” Kakashi stated with a bored look, currently they are hiding on the bushes..

“You can say that again.” Naruto yawned. Ahh, but we're talking about Kakashi here. “I've got an idea!” Naruto groaned. “What now?”

Kakashi whispered something on Naruto's ear. “Great! Make sure Sasuke doesn't kill me, all right?”

“Sure.” He responded.

“Ouch…” Sakura mumbled, a guy just bumped on her really hard. Really hard that she tend to step back!

“Dudette, `ya stupid? Ain't you lookin' on da way, foo'?” The guy nagged… Well, actually this guy is our blonde ninja, Naruto… on a jutsu. Oh, I hope Sasuke doesn't kill me for this!

“S-sorry.” Sakura apologized.

“Hey… You're kinda hot, `ya chic!” Naruto acted in the identity of an unknown man. `I can't believe I'm doing this… What'll Hinata-chan say?'

While Kakashi was watching, giggling by the sight. `Go, Naruto!'

“Hey, you punk! Leave my girlfriend alone!” Sasuke reprimanded. Sakura widened her eyes, with matching blush. “Oh, `ya own her? That's too bad…. Wait, maybe ya just pretending, nigga! If she really is `ya girlfriend, why don't you prove it?” This is better than I thought.

Kakashi laughed silently. “Great work. Great work!”

Sasuke pulled Sakura to a hug. Naruto shook his head, “naw… that ain't workin'!”

Sasuke growled inwardly. What made the others' eyes wide was when…

“Where's the camera? Where's the camera?” Kakashi panicked. “Where's the God damn camera?”

Sasuke. Just. Kissed. Sakura!

Too bad it ended too soon… but at least Kakashi caught it on action! “Now do you believe me? Scram, idiot!” Sasuke glared at the man… not really knowing who it is. Naruto left.

“Man, did you see the look on Sakura's face?” Naruto whispered to Kakashi. He giggled, “yeah, she sure was in a shocked state!”

Sakura's face was all red even when they got to Ichiraku. Ichiraku, my, my!

“Hey! They went in Ichiraku! Come on, let's follow them in!” Naruto drooled. Kakashi grimaced, “all right! All right already!”

“Hey guys!” Naruto greeted while he rubbed his two palms together.

“Hi, Naruto!” Sakura replied, and Sasuke… well he didn't say anything.

“So, Sasuke… I just remembered our little conversation earlier.” Kakashi grinned beneath that mask of his. Oh evil you, Kakashi! Evil you!

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “big deal.”

“What was it again?” Kakashi asked.

Twitch.

“About Sakura.”

“What about Sakura?” Our evil masked ninja taunted.

Twitch. Twitch.

“About Sakura being hot.”

Naruto and Sakura gasped. Sasuke didn't seem to care. Kakashi's being… Kakashi. And crickets started chirping.

“Err… Allright-y!” Ayame, the waitress exclaimed.

Nothing much happened, Sasuke's been quiet all along… and Naruto's being annoying! Let's skip that scene…

Night has beaten day. And so… the moon is glowing rather brighter this night! What a wonderful evening! Right this moment of the story, Sasuke's walking Sakura home. “I've had so much fun today, Sasuke-kun! Thank you!”

Sasuke smirked, “of course you'll have fun! That's because you're with me.” Sasuke chuckled, while she giggled.

“Well… Good night, Sasuke-kun!” Sakura was about to enter her house when…

“Wait, Sakura. I have something to say.”

Silence.

“Tell Tsunade-sama… that her potion never worked!” Sasuke smirked.

“What?”

GIRL!! THIS IS YOURCHANCE TO CONFESS! Sakura suddenly heard. For the first time in her life, she followed her inner self's advice. “Sasuke-kun, I have something to tell you too…” He paused on his tracks.

“I just… I just wanna say… Err… How should I say this?” Sakura blushed. He walked up to her. “Oh what the hell, you love me!” Sasuke continued for her and abruptly pulled her to a deep, passionate kiss. (Man! I just used the word, deep, and passionate!… For the first time.)

Epilogue:

“HE SAID THAT?! WHY?! Pause. I know, I got the news from Kakashi that Sasuke `accidentally' drank the potion. But why did he say that it didn't work? Pause. I DEMAND THAT YOU CALL HIS PRESCENCE RIGHT NOW!! Pause. Sakura, I don't care if he's your GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND!! CALL HIM NOW!!” Tsunade shrieked on the phone, she slammed the phone receiver and growled. “Hmph. How dare he say that!”

A few minutes later, Sasuke appeared in front of Tsunade. “What now?” He groaned.

“YOU. SAID. MY. POTION. DIDN'T. WORK!” Tsunade roared in a scary tone.

“Well it's true!”

“THEN WHY DID KAKASHI SAY THAT YOU ACTED ALL MUSHY TOWARDS SAKURA?! HUH?! TELL ME, WHY?!” Man, you just can't piss off a Hokage, ne?

Sasuke smirked. “I just used that excuse so people would think that potion just got into me! No big deal!”

Meanwhile, Sakura's just walking for the training grounds… when she shriveled up by what she saw!

“Icha Icha Paradise: Version 103817425816947108417849127491721487950289999971371761472841794184718184716 8191!! Ultimate Purple Globâ„¢! Written By: The Greatest Jiraiya! By the Co-workers of: Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto!”

“Oh, Sasuke-kun won't like this!”

A/n: WHEEE!! IT'S DONE!