Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Itachi's Plans From A to Z ❯ Plan A- Capture the Idiot and Leave ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Miko unfortunately does not own Naruto. But she does own the yaoi T.V program.


~ In random hotel ~

Itachi: The plan is simple... we capture Naruto's ass, leave with no bloodshed, go kick Kakashi's ass one more time later, then go make out at another random hotel.

Kisame: I like your plan... but can you please take out the making out part? It's really nasty...

Itachi: And I thought you cared... whatever...

~ In Naruto's room~

Naruto: I hope there is something good to watch on T.V... * turns on T.V * WHAT THE HELL?!

On T.V: NARUTO YAOI COUPLES!! ALL THE HOT AND STEAMY ACTION HERE!! FEATURING-

Naruto: 0__0 * Witnesses the most horrifying scene of his life and faints *

~In hallway~

Itachi: Now, to open this door...

Kisame: You mean kick down the door like a real ninja.

Itachi: I'm the leader!!! Now shut up!! >_<

Kisame: But we must not be courteous during a mission!

Itachi: * Death glare *

Kisame: Fine... fine...

Itachi: ^_^ Good... now to open the door... what the... the door is friggin' locked!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!

Kisame: There is only one solution... * Prepares to kick down door *

Itachi: NOOOOOOO!!!!! I have a different solution! * Takes out a business card that has the phone number of a stripping club *

Kisame: YOU WORK AT A STRIPPING CLUB?! O_O

Itachi: Uh, yeah...

Kisame: -_- Whatever.

Itachi: * Slides card through door. Door opens * AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Random couple: KNOCK ON THE DOOR, JERK!!! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE MAKING OUT HERE?!

Itachi: Oops... * Nosebleed *

Kisame: OH NO!!! There's bloodshed!!! WE FAILED OUR MISSION!!!

Itachi: * Leaves * WE DID NOT FAIL!!! COME WITH ME, MORON!!! * Drags Kisame by the collar*

Kisame: ~ I hate that bastard ~ -__________-

~ Outside Naruto's door ~

Itachi: THERE! THIS TIME, WE BETTER NOT MESS UP!!!

Kisame: I don't really care anymore...

Itachi: * Kicks down door *

Kisame: He finally listens to me.

Itachi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kisame: What now?!

Itachi: The... T.V... * Gets a huge nosebleed, goes anemic, and passes out *

Kisame: 0_0 * Looks at T.V, looks at Itachi on the floor, looks at Naruto *

T.V: NOW HERE COMES OUR NEXT PAIRING!!! KISAME AND ITACHI!!!! * Bad sounds and images starts appearing on screen *

Kisame: * Slowly turns around * AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! * Nosebleed and faints*

~ With Kakashi~

Kakashi: One day... Itachi... I'll get my revenge... * Falls asleep and snores very loudly * U_U

Gai: I never thought Kakashi would snore this loud... * Turns up volume on T.V * Come on Neji... show Lee what you can do...

Kurenai: Make it stop... @_@ Please... mommy...

Asuma: Where's the Shikamaru stripping special?

Kurenai: NOT YOU TOO!!! * Faints * X__x

~ End of Chapter 1~

Miko: I appear in the next chapter. And it's creepy how Gai loves watching his students make out with each other...

~ Next time ~

Itachi and Kisame will wake up to find themselves very dizzy due to the loss of blood. Fearing for their lives and Itachi's fangirls, they desperately try to get some blood back into their bodies. Kisame gives an HIV lesson and Naruto wakes up, only to see the terrible T.V program and faint again. Kisame and Itachi are therefore too weak to carry Naruto's body, and then finds themselves interrupted by Itachi's emo (and far more appealing) younger brother.

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