Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Lessons In Maturity ❯ Surprise, surprise ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A shadow passed over Naruto's face, seeming to penetrate into his very dreams. He winced and thrashed for a moment, as if aware of the horrors that lay ahead. The figure froze until assured that the young would-be hokage had not been awakened. How disappointing...what kind of hokage can stay asleep while someone breaks into his house? Ah well, he'll learn...if he survives this that is...kukukukukuku
The figure leaned over the blonde's bed and carefully placed a motionless bundle next to the boy's head. With any luck it would remain unmoving until the boy woke up in the morning. He just hoped the sedative lasted. A soft moan of apparent pain escaped the boy's lips before he sank back into the bliss of dreams. Out of reflex he pulled the bundle close and wrapped his arms around it. The intruder disappeared, only to rematerialize on the street below.
"Unit four reporting in. Mission complete." He glanced up at the window. "Let the games begin! kukukukuku...*cough cough cough*" Kakashi doubled over as he choked. ' Gotta stop doing that!'
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"Chouji! Chouji get up!" Chouji rolled over and yanked the pillow over his head.
"Go 'way...gotta sleep...."
"CHOUJI!"
"Five more minutes...." Suddenly the boy found his blankets and pillow pulled off rudely. He sat up groggily. "Wha..."
"Chouji listen to me! What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!" She held up a sniffling, dark-haired baby, no older than a year.
"Ino...you woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me...."
"Would you look at him already!" Grudgingly he took the baby his bossy teammate shoved at him.
"What am I looking for?"
"Look at his face!!"
He inspected the child but found nothing out of the ordinary. "Ino I don't see anyth....KAMI-SAMA!" Ino looked smug and crossed her arms.
"I told you it was important!"
The genin stared open mouthed at the baby who yawned, bored with the world. "SHIKAMARU!!???"
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Tenten looked up as Naruto dragged himself into the training area. "You too?" Naruto nodded wearily. On the floor Lee-chan cooed and clapped. Immediately Sakura-chan started giggling and squirming, in her ten-month old's version of a demand to be put down. Naruto gladly obliged and set her next to the black-haired infant whose eyebrows dominated more than half of his face.
"She started yelling at two o' clock in the morning... and she barfed on my bed..." The konoichi had never remembered seeing such blood-shot eyes on the blonde. "She wouldn't stop yelling...." His eyes grew haunted. "So...much...noise..." Ackwardly Tenten patted his back. At least Lee had the decency to wait until morning before beginning screaming. "I just KNOW KAKASHI-SENSEI IS IN ON THIS! WHEN I FIND HIM I'M GONNA..."
"Shh! Naruto! You'll scare the kids!" Naruto looked at them puzzled.
"Noise scares them? Then why the heck did Sakura-chan scream nonstop for eight hours?"
"Now you know what the rest of us feel like when you start talking." Naruto glared up at the newly arrived Kiba, not really surprised to see a dark haired baby buttoned up inside his coat where Akamaru rode.
"That Hinata-chan?"
"Unless there's a little gender secret Hinata-chan's been keeping, I'm guessing it's Shino." He put his teammate-turned-runt next to the others. While the others crawled around, Shino-chan simply sat and stared into space silently.
Naruto reached out an experimental finger and poked his head. No reaction. "What's his problem?"
The Inuzuka shrugged. "How should I know? He's been like that since I shut him up this morning..." Slowly Naruto backed away as fury as terrifying as the Byakugan and Mangekyou Sharingan burned in Tenten's eyes.
"Exactly. HOW. Did. You. Shut. Him. Up?"
"Same way I do Akamaru. Grabbed his back legs and shook him 'til he stopped crying...Tenten-san? Tenten-san...why are you looking at me like that...Wait! Tenten-san..." Tenten pulled several kunai.
"You shook a baby until it stopped crying?"
Kiba looked around for support. "Well...the bugs would protect him right?" He started backing away as the weapons mistress inched forward. "I'm really sorry! I won't do it again, I swear!"
"Damn right Baka!" Kiba broke into a run dodging the cloud of kunai descending on him. "YOU COULD MAKE HIM BRAIN-DEAD OR SOMETHING!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE THREATENED?! COME BACK HERE! LEMME SHOW WHAT HE PROBABLY FELT LIKE!!!!!
Naruto stared down at the unmoving Shino. He poked him. Nothing. He poked him a little harder. Still nothing. He poked yet again. This time the baby toppled to the side and lay there. "OI KIBA! I THINK YOU BROKE HIM!" Kiba seemed too busy running for his life to pay him any mind. The boy got to thinking. What could make an Aburame react? What would bugs like? Other bugs...right?
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Tenten whirled as an unearthly scream tore through the morning sky. Kiba took this opportunity to dive for cover in the underbrush. He shuddered and rocked back and forth, completely traumatized. Crazy woman Crazy woman Crazy woman Crazy woman Crazy woman Crazy woman ...
She raced back to the training ground to find Shino-chan sitting on top of the blonde, kikai swarming him.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!"
"ME? He attacked me! All I did was give him a spider! Spiders are bugs right?"
"NARUTO! Spiders EAT bugs!" She snatched up the boy and cuddled him, whispering softly to him. Sakura-chan simply watched the going ons in mute amusement while Lee-chan had a river of tears running down from his eyes. The girl stooped and gathered all of them into a hug. "Don't worry. Tenten-chan won't let those two brutes near you again. Ok? It's ok Lee-chan. You don't have to cry anymore." She glared over at the confused Naruto.
"What? Hey, I fixed him didn't I?"