Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Little Spark: Intro to Fire Hound ❯ Secret Ninja ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: rollaroach 
You can't stop the ninja within...even if it's just a little one. And 4 year old Kaliana is no exception. Just don't tell her mommy!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Comedy / Martial Arts / Mystery / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.14.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 298 | Status: Completed
You can't stop the ninja within...even if it's just a little one. And 4 year old Kaliana is no exception. Just don't tell her mommy!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Comedy / Martial Arts / Mystery / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.14.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 298 | Status: Completed
Spark: Intro to Fire Hound
Act II: Tragic Destinies
Chapter 2: Secret Ninja
4 years later
Little Kaliana took a small razor to her thumb. With a swift and sure jerk, she slid it across her stubby appendage, slicing it open. She flinched at the stinging pain as she pressed the open cut against the tips of the rest of her fingers. Once all five digits glistened with blood at the tips, she began to form handseals.
“Ino, Inu, Sawu, Towi, Hitsuji.” She said quietly to herself, mispronouncing ‘Saru’ and ‘Tori’.
She opened the blood-tipped hand and held it high in the air.
“Summoning Jutsu!” She shouted, brining her hand down.
“KALIANA!” Akita’s voice rang out. “COME DOWN HERE, PLEASE!”
Kaliana stopped just before smacking the floor with her open palm. A single sweatdrop fell from her brow. She let out a sigh and got up.
“Coming, mommy!” Kaliana called.
She looked down at her bloody hand and wiped it on her bright red shirt. “Dwat! I almost did it dat time, too!”
She opened her bedroom door and hopped down the stairs. Her eyes widened before she reached the last step.
“Hey, there’s my beautiful girl!” Kamachi held his arms wide open.
“DADDY!” She leapt into her father’s waiting arms and hugged him tightly. “I knew you’d be back for my birfday! I just knew it!”
“Now, you know I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything in the world!” Kamachi smiled, embracing his daughter.
His eyes wandered to his wife, who stood idly by, watching the tender moment lovingly. Kamachi lifted Kaliana high in the air and kissed her face multiple times before setting her down.
“I’m gonna go say hi to mommy now, okay?”
“Okay, daddy.” Kaliana was happy to share him with her mother.
Kamachi ran to his wife and lifted her in the air, kissing her face and lips. Kaliana turned her attention to the front door. Her eyes went wide as she sensed who was approaching. She ran over and flung the door open, surprising Kakashi, and nearly making him tumble backwards.
“UNC-O KAKASHI!” She shouted, throwing her arms around his legs. “You came too! I was hoping you would!”
“Of course I came. What kind of uncle would I be if I didn’t come to his nieces’ 4th birthday?”
“A busy one.” She answered simply.
Kakashi couldn’t help but smile. He scooped his niece up in his arms. Kaliana pulled his mask down so that he could kiss her forehead. Satisfied she returned it to his face. He lifted her onto his shoulders.
“You’re so understanding for a 4 year old.” He sighed, reaching for the doorknob. “Where’s your mom and dad?”
“In da house…” Kaliana answered, fiddling with his hair. “…Making out.”
Kakashi immediately withdrew his hand. “Really? Gross…thanks for telling me.”
He left the porch and walked around to the side of Kamachi’s massive estate. He sat his niece on the pasture fencing; Katavi was off in the distance grazing with some of his mares. Kakashi himself leaned on the fence, looking out at the horses.
“I have something for you.” Kakashi looked over at his niece, one eyebrow ascended. “A birthday present.”
“Oh, boy! Can I have it now, pwease?” Kaliana hopped off the fence and began dancing eagerly around her uncle, palms open.
Kakashi squinted at her thumb. He grabbed her hand and pulled it close. A smile formed beneath his mask.
“You’ve been practicing jutsus, haven’t you?”
“Maybe…” Kaliana muttered, her eyes shifted away from his. “Can I have my pwesent now?”
Kakashi rubbed his thumb over Kaliana’s healing cut.
“What have you been doing; The Summoning Jutsu? I didn’t teach you that one.”
“Daddy did.” Kaliana suddenly cupped her hand over her mouth. “Oops…I wasn’t s’posta tell…”
Kakashi’s grin widened. “Did he? I assume mommy doesn’t know about this, then?”
“Of couse not! You know she can’t know about da ninja stuffs I do…” Kaliana trailed, sad that she had to keep so much from her mother.
“What kind of ninja stuff does Kamachi do?” Kakashi asked curiously.
“What do I look like? A nawrc or somefing?” Kaliana shouted.
Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh at Kaliana’s mispronunciation of any word with the letters ‘R’ or ‘TH ’in it. She had the cutest little speech impediment.
“No.” He laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. “Nobody likes a narc.”
“Do you have a pwesent for me or not?”
“Ah, yes.” Kakashi reached into his pocket. He pulled something out, but kept it hidden behind his back. “Now, don’t let your mom see this, or she’ll stab me with it.”
He pulled his hand from behind his back and offered Kaliana her gift. Wide eyed, she reached for it slowly.
“Wow.” She gasped, taking it in her hands. “A weal kunai knife! Dank-oo so much, unc-o Kakashi!” She threw her arms around his legs and hugged.
“I knew you’d love it. But remember, keep it hidden from your mom, or she’ll take it away like she took those shuriken I gave you.”
“I pwomise.” She hugged him again. “I wuv you, unc-o Kakashi.”
Akita giggled loudly as Kamachi kissed and nibbled on her neck. He had been away on ‘business’ again for a few months, and he had missed his wife terribly. So, he had her pinned against the wall as he showered her with kisses continuously. A ring of the telephone broke up the reunion. He growled, rolled his eyes, and stomped into the living room. Akita took advantage of her freedom and dashed into the kitchen to check on the cake she was baking.
Kamachi snatched the phone and brought to his ear.
“What?” He asked, irritated.
“Kamachi, it’s me.” The feminine voice answered.
“Oh!” Kamachi exclaimed, realizing the voice on the other end was his sister. “What’s up, Tsume? How’s Kiba?”
“He’s fine, the little monster…in that terrible 2’s stage…”
“Good, Good…how’s Hana?”
“Wonderful, actually. She’s aspiring to be a veterinarian.”
“That’s great! I’m happy to hear that!”
“Kamachi…” Akita whispered. “Who’re you talking to?”
“My sister.” Kamachi whispered, covering the receiver with his free hand.
“Oh!” She quickly snatched the phone from his hands and put it to her ear. “Hey, I got those dog-beds all made like you asked…yeah…I’ll send him down there with them.”
Kamachi tilted his head curiously.
“…alright…thank you! He’ll be there is a little while. Okay, buh-bye.” She hung up the phone and turned to her husband, who seemed confused. “Honey, will you do me a favor?” Akita pleaded as she left the room.
“Of course. What is it?”
She returned with 4 large dog-beds tucked under her arm. “I made a deal with your sister. She’s got a bunch of old cookbooks that I wanted, so in exchange for them, I made her these beds for her dogs. Will you bring them to her & get the cookbooks?” She handed him the stack of padded beds.
“Today?” Kamachi asked.
“Yeah, there’s some recipes I wanted to try for Kaliana’s birthday. It’s not going to take you long at all. Please?”
“Alright.” Kamachi relented. He turned to walk out the door, only to be roughly snatched and whipped around. Now, it was him who was pinned against the wall, her big, juicy lips engulfing his in a passionate kiss. She pulled away slowly, leaving a very dumbfounded Kamachi.
“I’ll give you a special present when you come home.” She whispered, licking her top lip seductively.
“Ooh…I’ll make sure to be back before sunset.”
“Make it sooner.” She whispered before disappearing into the kitchen, lifting her skirt before she turned the corner, giving her husband a free peek.
Kamachi sighed and shuddered. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear away the amorous thoughts, he bolted out the door, clutching the oversized pillows tightly under his arm.
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“Hold it like this.” Kakashi instructed his little niece, using one of his own kunai as an example.
“Like dis?” Kaliana questioned, trying her best to imitate her uncle’s actions.
“That’s right. Now, when you throw it, flick your wrist, understand? Throw with your wrist.” He let his knife fly. It hit one of the fence posts with great accuracy, digging deeply into the wood.
“Okay…” Kaliana tried her best to toss the knife like Kakashi, but rather then fly into the wooden post, it landed 2 feet in front of her, burrowing deep in the dirt.
Kakashi laughed hard and shook his head. “You’re still throwing it too hard! Throw from your wrist, not your elbow…”
“Hey, there you are!” Kamachi’s voice rang out as he rounded the corner of the house.
Kakashi and Kaliana quickly stood in front of their knives, hands behind their backs. Kamachi stopped short, knowing they were hiding something.
“Whatcha guys doing?”
“Nothing.” Both Kakashi and Kaliana answered simultaneously. Kaliana removed her shoe, reached her foot back, gripped her toes around the knife’s handle, and pulled it from the ground. She then lifted it up with her foot and placed the forbidden toy in her hand, keeping it well hidden behind her back. She replaced her foot in the shoe.
“Mmm hmm…” Kamachi mumbled, only half believing them. “Kaliana, go inside and help your mommy in the kitchen, okay?”
“Okay daddy.” She agreed, still keeping her hands behind her back. She turned to her uncle. “See ya, unc-o Kakashi.”
“Yeah…see ya, squirt.” Kakashi motioned with his head towards the cellar door at the bottom of the house.
Kaliana nodded and winked. She walked passed her father, taking care to keep the knife well hidden. As she passed him, she brought it to her chest, hiding it under her little blue vest. Once fully behind her father, she slipped it under the cellar door. Satisfied that her weapon was in a safe area, she continued into the house.
Kamachi kept his eyes on Kakashi the whole time, but he knew very well what was going on. Kakashi was certain his brother-in-law was aware of his actions, but neither said a word about it. Kamachi quickly changed the subject when he noticed Kakashi’s new green vest.
“Alright!” He cheered. “So, you’re a Jounin now, huh? And only 16 years old…I’ll have to watch how I talk to you from now on, won’t I?” He patronized the young Jounin playfully.
“Yeah…maybe try talking to me like an adult instead of like a 3 year-old?” Kakashi suggested in his usual sarcastic tone.
“Ooh, he’s a big boy now, I keep forgetting…” Kamachi teased as he reached into his shirt pocket. "I have a present for our big, strong graduating man."
Kakashi’s first instinct was to tackle the cocky Lord to the ground and wail on him, as he usually did. But, today, he refrained himself. "A present? What is it? A lifetime pass to Chuckie Cheese's?"
Kamachi rolled his eyes and shoved an old book into Kakashi's hands. "Don't get too excited. It's not porn." He winked.
Kakashi growled at the comment as he read the tattered cover of the antique book. "Kekei GenKai Techniques...cool. Where'd you get this?"
"It's an old family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. I figured you'd get some use out of it."
Kakashi looked down at the old book, then placed it in his vest pocket. "Thanks. I...I appreciate it. Though, I must say, I'd have preferred a stripper leaping out of a cake."
"Damn, you figured out my surprise for your 18th birthday." Kamachi simply flashed his usual, arrogant grin as he jumped on the fence railing and cupped his hands over his mouth.
“KATAVI! COME ON, BOY! LET’S GO!” He finished his shouting with a loud whistle.
While Kamachi was busy calling for his horse, who lumbered lazily towards him, Kakashi tried yanking the knife from the wood post, but it was in there pretty deep, and he simply could not move it. With a defeated groan, he turned back to Kamachi, who was still standing tall on the fence post.
“Come on, lazy-bones!” He tried to encourage his horse to come to him at a quicker pace, but Katavi was taking his own, sweet-ass time to get there.
Kakashi grabbed Kamachi by the bottom of his shirt and roughly pulled him to the ground. Kamachi looked up, confused and only slightly agitated.
“Where are you going?” Kakashi asked. “It’s your daughter’s birthday.”
“Akita wants me to bring these dog beds to my sister in exchange for some vintage cookbooks. I don’t know why…she has enough cookbooks in the house, but she really seems to want them. Besides, I get a special treat if I bring them back before sunset.” He finished with a wink, picking himself up from the ground.
Kakashi shuddered at the thought. “Yuck…”
Kamachi felt like grossing out Kakashi even more, so he looked up at the sky and sighed. “Yeah, your sister and me are going to have us one freaky night… all that cake icing…”
“Please…stop…” Kakashi moaned, beginning to feel ill.
“…Yeah boy, all night, it’s gonna be, BANG, BANG, BANG!” He thrust his hips against the dog pillows in rhythm with each ‘bang’.
“GOOD LORD!” Kakashi shouted, his hands over his ears.
“Hey, that’s what she says!”
“UGH! Excuse me while I go throw up…” Kakashi turned away, holding his stomach.
“What?” Kamachi asked, confused. “I thought you wanted me to talk to you like a grown up…”
“That doesn’t mean I wanna hear about your twisted sexual relationship with my sister!” Kakashi moaned. “You nasty, son of a…”
“Watch your mouth, little boy.” Kamachi teased as he opened the gate to let out his horse. Katavi flicked his tail as he exited the pasture, drooping the long, tangled mess over Kakashi’s head.
Kakashi spat and flailed until the mop of a tail finally freed him of its grip. The newly declared Jounin glared at his dirty brother-in-law as he mounted the big, gold stallion, draping the soiled dog pillows over the horses’ withers. Before heading off, Kamachi reached down and pulled the kunai knife from the wood post with ease. Kakashi tilted his head, astounded, as Kamachi handed the knife over to his bewildered brother-in-law.
“You toss with your wrist.” He advised. “But, you pull with your elbow.”
Kakashi stared stupidly as Kamachi turned his horse around and cantered away. The newly graduated Jounin glanced down at the kunai knife in his hand. He grunted as he put it away and turned towards the house.
“Well, I loosened it…”
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K atavi trotted down the main road that led to Tsume’s house. Kamachi gave his horse the signal to halt by tugging the stallion’s long mane. The horse stopped near a dirt road that led into a dark forest.
“Let’s take the shortcut.” Kamachi decided; cueing the horse with his legs.
Katavi hesitated, tossing his head. Kamachi cued the horse again with a sharper kick. Reluctantly, Katavi moved forward into the deep woods, flicking his ears uneasily.
“It’s alright boy.” Kamachi comforted. “We’ve been down this trail a couple times before; there’s nothing wrong with it. What could possibly happen?”
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K akashi walked into the house; the smell of baked sweets permeating the air caused his mouth to water.
“Akita?” He called.
“I’m in the kitchen!” She answered.
She came out to greet him, wiping her hands in a towel. She threw her hands in the air, as well as the towel, when she seen what he was wearing.
“Oh! Look at you! You look so handsome in that Jounin vest! We have to celebrate.”
Kakashi excitedly followed his sister into the kitchen, where she had a bottle of sake and 2 glasses waiting.
“I knew today would be a special day, so I had Kaliana go down into the cellar and get me this.” She held up the bottle.
“Where is she now?” He asked curiously, knowing she’d probably collecting the knife and has gone into her room with it.
“Oh, she’s upstairs. Honestly, that girl needs to make some friends.” Akita rolled her eyes as she opened the bottle and poured some of the rice wine in the glasses.
She handed one to her brother and held hers in the air. “Cheers.” She said before drinking.
Kakashi sniffed the drink cautiously before sipping it. He’d never had alcohol before. But after just one taste, he quickly downed the rest in his shot glass. He slammed it on the counter.
“Hit me.” He said with gusto.
“Alright…” Akita gave in. “…but just one more! You’re still only 16. I can get in big trouble for this, ya know.” She warned as she poured him a second glass.
“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He grinned as he took it down in one gulp. “Hit me.”
“That’s enough, alchy! When you turn 18, I’ll teach you to take Tequila shots. Here.” She offered him the spoon she’d scrapped out the cake batter with. “Take this and go watch TV.”
“Akita, I’m 16 and I’m a Jounin. You think I’d still want to lick the spoon like a 4 year old?” He snatched the spoon and put it in his mouth. “Don’t tell anyone.” He muttered as he entered the living room and plopped himself on the couch.
He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Though he was in Kamachi’s house, he knew they had his favorite channel, so he attempted to put it on. But much to his dismay, a snowy screen replaced it.
“What happened to my Spice channel?” He asked, a bit perturbed.
“I had Kamachi get rid of it. We don’t need it.”
“WHAT!? How could you do that to me!?” He whined pathetically.
“Oh, stop being cheap and just go buy a dirty magazine.” Akita scoffed.
“But dirty magazines lack the oh-so-important sound effects!” He continued to whimper.
Akita came into the room, opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small book. She tossed it in Kakashi’s lap.
“Read that. It’s really good.” She ordered.
“A book?” He picked it up and read the title. He groaned as he opened it to the first chapter. “Why in the name of everything horny would I want…to read…” He trailed off as he began reading the first few lines. “Ooh…”
He sat back comfortably and started on the road to his new addiction with a paperback porn titled “Make-Out Paradise”.
Act II: Tragic Destinies
Chapter 2: Secret Ninja
4 years later
Little Kaliana took a small razor to her thumb. With a swift and sure jerk, she slid it across her stubby appendage, slicing it open. She flinched at the stinging pain as she pressed the open cut against the tips of the rest of her fingers. Once all five digits glistened with blood at the tips, she began to form handseals.
“Ino, Inu, Sawu, Towi, Hitsuji.” She said quietly to herself, mispronouncing ‘Saru’ and ‘Tori’.
She opened the blood-tipped hand and held it high in the air.
“Summoning Jutsu!” She shouted, brining her hand down.
“KALIANA!” Akita’s voice rang out. “COME DOWN HERE, PLEASE!”
Kaliana stopped just before smacking the floor with her open palm. A single sweatdrop fell from her brow. She let out a sigh and got up.
“Coming, mommy!” Kaliana called.
She looked down at her bloody hand and wiped it on her bright red shirt. “Dwat! I almost did it dat time, too!”
She opened her bedroom door and hopped down the stairs. Her eyes widened before she reached the last step.
“Hey, there’s my beautiful girl!” Kamachi held his arms wide open.
“DADDY!” She leapt into her father’s waiting arms and hugged him tightly. “I knew you’d be back for my birfday! I just knew it!”
“Now, you know I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything in the world!” Kamachi smiled, embracing his daughter.
His eyes wandered to his wife, who stood idly by, watching the tender moment lovingly. Kamachi lifted Kaliana high in the air and kissed her face multiple times before setting her down.
“I’m gonna go say hi to mommy now, okay?”
“Okay, daddy.” Kaliana was happy to share him with her mother.
Kamachi ran to his wife and lifted her in the air, kissing her face and lips. Kaliana turned her attention to the front door. Her eyes went wide as she sensed who was approaching. She ran over and flung the door open, surprising Kakashi, and nearly making him tumble backwards.
“UNC-O KAKASHI!” She shouted, throwing her arms around his legs. “You came too! I was hoping you would!”
“Of course I came. What kind of uncle would I be if I didn’t come to his nieces’ 4th birthday?”
“A busy one.” She answered simply.
Kakashi couldn’t help but smile. He scooped his niece up in his arms. Kaliana pulled his mask down so that he could kiss her forehead. Satisfied she returned it to his face. He lifted her onto his shoulders.
“You’re so understanding for a 4 year old.” He sighed, reaching for the doorknob. “Where’s your mom and dad?”
“In da house…” Kaliana answered, fiddling with his hair. “…Making out.”
Kakashi immediately withdrew his hand. “Really? Gross…thanks for telling me.”
He left the porch and walked around to the side of Kamachi’s massive estate. He sat his niece on the pasture fencing; Katavi was off in the distance grazing with some of his mares. Kakashi himself leaned on the fence, looking out at the horses.
“I have something for you.” Kakashi looked over at his niece, one eyebrow ascended. “A birthday present.”
“Oh, boy! Can I have it now, pwease?” Kaliana hopped off the fence and began dancing eagerly around her uncle, palms open.
Kakashi squinted at her thumb. He grabbed her hand and pulled it close. A smile formed beneath his mask.
“You’ve been practicing jutsus, haven’t you?”
“Maybe…” Kaliana muttered, her eyes shifted away from his. “Can I have my pwesent now?”
Kakashi rubbed his thumb over Kaliana’s healing cut.
“What have you been doing; The Summoning Jutsu? I didn’t teach you that one.”
“Daddy did.” Kaliana suddenly cupped her hand over her mouth. “Oops…I wasn’t s’posta tell…”
Kakashi’s grin widened. “Did he? I assume mommy doesn’t know about this, then?”
“Of couse not! You know she can’t know about da ninja stuffs I do…” Kaliana trailed, sad that she had to keep so much from her mother.
“What kind of ninja stuff does Kamachi do?” Kakashi asked curiously.
“What do I look like? A nawrc or somefing?” Kaliana shouted.
Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh at Kaliana’s mispronunciation of any word with the letters ‘R’ or ‘TH ’in it. She had the cutest little speech impediment.
“No.” He laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. “Nobody likes a narc.”
“Do you have a pwesent for me or not?”
“Ah, yes.” Kakashi reached into his pocket. He pulled something out, but kept it hidden behind his back. “Now, don’t let your mom see this, or she’ll stab me with it.”
He pulled his hand from behind his back and offered Kaliana her gift. Wide eyed, she reached for it slowly.
“Wow.” She gasped, taking it in her hands. “A weal kunai knife! Dank-oo so much, unc-o Kakashi!” She threw her arms around his legs and hugged.
“I knew you’d love it. But remember, keep it hidden from your mom, or she’ll take it away like she took those shuriken I gave you.”
“I pwomise.” She hugged him again. “I wuv you, unc-o Kakashi.”
Akita giggled loudly as Kamachi kissed and nibbled on her neck. He had been away on ‘business’ again for a few months, and he had missed his wife terribly. So, he had her pinned against the wall as he showered her with kisses continuously. A ring of the telephone broke up the reunion. He growled, rolled his eyes, and stomped into the living room. Akita took advantage of her freedom and dashed into the kitchen to check on the cake she was baking.
Kamachi snatched the phone and brought to his ear.
“What?” He asked, irritated.
“Kamachi, it’s me.” The feminine voice answered.
“Oh!” Kamachi exclaimed, realizing the voice on the other end was his sister. “What’s up, Tsume? How’s Kiba?”
“He’s fine, the little monster…in that terrible 2’s stage…”
“Good, Good…how’s Hana?”
“Wonderful, actually. She’s aspiring to be a veterinarian.”
“That’s great! I’m happy to hear that!”
“Kamachi…” Akita whispered. “Who’re you talking to?”
“My sister.” Kamachi whispered, covering the receiver with his free hand.
“Oh!” She quickly snatched the phone from his hands and put it to her ear. “Hey, I got those dog-beds all made like you asked…yeah…I’ll send him down there with them.”
Kamachi tilted his head curiously.
“…alright…thank you! He’ll be there is a little while. Okay, buh-bye.” She hung up the phone and turned to her husband, who seemed confused. “Honey, will you do me a favor?” Akita pleaded as she left the room.
“Of course. What is it?”
She returned with 4 large dog-beds tucked under her arm. “I made a deal with your sister. She’s got a bunch of old cookbooks that I wanted, so in exchange for them, I made her these beds for her dogs. Will you bring them to her & get the cookbooks?” She handed him the stack of padded beds.
“Today?” Kamachi asked.
“Yeah, there’s some recipes I wanted to try for Kaliana’s birthday. It’s not going to take you long at all. Please?”
“Alright.” Kamachi relented. He turned to walk out the door, only to be roughly snatched and whipped around. Now, it was him who was pinned against the wall, her big, juicy lips engulfing his in a passionate kiss. She pulled away slowly, leaving a very dumbfounded Kamachi.
“I’ll give you a special present when you come home.” She whispered, licking her top lip seductively.
“Ooh…I’ll make sure to be back before sunset.”
“Make it sooner.” She whispered before disappearing into the kitchen, lifting her skirt before she turned the corner, giving her husband a free peek.
Kamachi sighed and shuddered. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear away the amorous thoughts, he bolted out the door, clutching the oversized pillows tightly under his arm.
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“Hold it like this.” Kakashi instructed his little niece, using one of his own kunai as an example.
“Like dis?” Kaliana questioned, trying her best to imitate her uncle’s actions.
“That’s right. Now, when you throw it, flick your wrist, understand? Throw with your wrist.” He let his knife fly. It hit one of the fence posts with great accuracy, digging deeply into the wood.
“Okay…” Kaliana tried her best to toss the knife like Kakashi, but rather then fly into the wooden post, it landed 2 feet in front of her, burrowing deep in the dirt.
Kakashi laughed hard and shook his head. “You’re still throwing it too hard! Throw from your wrist, not your elbow…”
“Hey, there you are!” Kamachi’s voice rang out as he rounded the corner of the house.
Kakashi and Kaliana quickly stood in front of their knives, hands behind their backs. Kamachi stopped short, knowing they were hiding something.
“Whatcha guys doing?”
“Nothing.” Both Kakashi and Kaliana answered simultaneously. Kaliana removed her shoe, reached her foot back, gripped her toes around the knife’s handle, and pulled it from the ground. She then lifted it up with her foot and placed the forbidden toy in her hand, keeping it well hidden behind her back. She replaced her foot in the shoe.
“Mmm hmm…” Kamachi mumbled, only half believing them. “Kaliana, go inside and help your mommy in the kitchen, okay?”
“Okay daddy.” She agreed, still keeping her hands behind her back. She turned to her uncle. “See ya, unc-o Kakashi.”
“Yeah…see ya, squirt.” Kakashi motioned with his head towards the cellar door at the bottom of the house.
Kaliana nodded and winked. She walked passed her father, taking care to keep the knife well hidden. As she passed him, she brought it to her chest, hiding it under her little blue vest. Once fully behind her father, she slipped it under the cellar door. Satisfied that her weapon was in a safe area, she continued into the house.
Kamachi kept his eyes on Kakashi the whole time, but he knew very well what was going on. Kakashi was certain his brother-in-law was aware of his actions, but neither said a word about it. Kamachi quickly changed the subject when he noticed Kakashi’s new green vest.
“Alright!” He cheered. “So, you’re a Jounin now, huh? And only 16 years old…I’ll have to watch how I talk to you from now on, won’t I?” He patronized the young Jounin playfully.
“Yeah…maybe try talking to me like an adult instead of like a 3 year-old?” Kakashi suggested in his usual sarcastic tone.
“Ooh, he’s a big boy now, I keep forgetting…” Kamachi teased as he reached into his shirt pocket. "I have a present for our big, strong graduating man."
Kakashi’s first instinct was to tackle the cocky Lord to the ground and wail on him, as he usually did. But, today, he refrained himself. "A present? What is it? A lifetime pass to Chuckie Cheese's?"
Kamachi rolled his eyes and shoved an old book into Kakashi's hands. "Don't get too excited. It's not porn." He winked.
Kakashi growled at the comment as he read the tattered cover of the antique book. "Kekei GenKai Techniques...cool. Where'd you get this?"
"It's an old family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. I figured you'd get some use out of it."
Kakashi looked down at the old book, then placed it in his vest pocket. "Thanks. I...I appreciate it. Though, I must say, I'd have preferred a stripper leaping out of a cake."
"Damn, you figured out my surprise for your 18th birthday." Kamachi simply flashed his usual, arrogant grin as he jumped on the fence railing and cupped his hands over his mouth.
“KATAVI! COME ON, BOY! LET’S GO!” He finished his shouting with a loud whistle.
While Kamachi was busy calling for his horse, who lumbered lazily towards him, Kakashi tried yanking the knife from the wood post, but it was in there pretty deep, and he simply could not move it. With a defeated groan, he turned back to Kamachi, who was still standing tall on the fence post.
“Come on, lazy-bones!” He tried to encourage his horse to come to him at a quicker pace, but Katavi was taking his own, sweet-ass time to get there.
Kakashi grabbed Kamachi by the bottom of his shirt and roughly pulled him to the ground. Kamachi looked up, confused and only slightly agitated.
“Where are you going?” Kakashi asked. “It’s your daughter’s birthday.”
“Akita wants me to bring these dog beds to my sister in exchange for some vintage cookbooks. I don’t know why…she has enough cookbooks in the house, but she really seems to want them. Besides, I get a special treat if I bring them back before sunset.” He finished with a wink, picking himself up from the ground.
Kakashi shuddered at the thought. “Yuck…”
Kamachi felt like grossing out Kakashi even more, so he looked up at the sky and sighed. “Yeah, your sister and me are going to have us one freaky night… all that cake icing…”
“Please…stop…” Kakashi moaned, beginning to feel ill.
“…Yeah boy, all night, it’s gonna be, BANG, BANG, BANG!” He thrust his hips against the dog pillows in rhythm with each ‘bang’.
“GOOD LORD!” Kakashi shouted, his hands over his ears.
“Hey, that’s what she says!”
“UGH! Excuse me while I go throw up…” Kakashi turned away, holding his stomach.
“What?” Kamachi asked, confused. “I thought you wanted me to talk to you like a grown up…”
“That doesn’t mean I wanna hear about your twisted sexual relationship with my sister!” Kakashi moaned. “You nasty, son of a…”
“Watch your mouth, little boy.” Kamachi teased as he opened the gate to let out his horse. Katavi flicked his tail as he exited the pasture, drooping the long, tangled mess over Kakashi’s head.
Kakashi spat and flailed until the mop of a tail finally freed him of its grip. The newly declared Jounin glared at his dirty brother-in-law as he mounted the big, gold stallion, draping the soiled dog pillows over the horses’ withers. Before heading off, Kamachi reached down and pulled the kunai knife from the wood post with ease. Kakashi tilted his head, astounded, as Kamachi handed the knife over to his bewildered brother-in-law.
“You toss with your wrist.” He advised. “But, you pull with your elbow.”
Kakashi stared stupidly as Kamachi turned his horse around and cantered away. The newly graduated Jounin glanced down at the kunai knife in his hand. He grunted as he put it away and turned towards the house.
“Well, I loosened it…”
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K atavi trotted down the main road that led to Tsume’s house. Kamachi gave his horse the signal to halt by tugging the stallion’s long mane. The horse stopped near a dirt road that led into a dark forest.
“Let’s take the shortcut.” Kamachi decided; cueing the horse with his legs.
Katavi hesitated, tossing his head. Kamachi cued the horse again with a sharper kick. Reluctantly, Katavi moved forward into the deep woods, flicking his ears uneasily.
“It’s alright boy.” Kamachi comforted. “We’ve been down this trail a couple times before; there’s nothing wrong with it. What could possibly happen?”
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K akashi walked into the house; the smell of baked sweets permeating the air caused his mouth to water.
“Akita?” He called.
“I’m in the kitchen!” She answered.
She came out to greet him, wiping her hands in a towel. She threw her hands in the air, as well as the towel, when she seen what he was wearing.
“Oh! Look at you! You look so handsome in that Jounin vest! We have to celebrate.”
Kakashi excitedly followed his sister into the kitchen, where she had a bottle of sake and 2 glasses waiting.
“I knew today would be a special day, so I had Kaliana go down into the cellar and get me this.” She held up the bottle.
“Where is she now?” He asked curiously, knowing she’d probably collecting the knife and has gone into her room with it.
“Oh, she’s upstairs. Honestly, that girl needs to make some friends.” Akita rolled her eyes as she opened the bottle and poured some of the rice wine in the glasses.
She handed one to her brother and held hers in the air. “Cheers.” She said before drinking.
Kakashi sniffed the drink cautiously before sipping it. He’d never had alcohol before. But after just one taste, he quickly downed the rest in his shot glass. He slammed it on the counter.
“Hit me.” He said with gusto.
“Alright…” Akita gave in. “…but just one more! You’re still only 16. I can get in big trouble for this, ya know.” She warned as she poured him a second glass.
“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He grinned as he took it down in one gulp. “Hit me.”
“That’s enough, alchy! When you turn 18, I’ll teach you to take Tequila shots. Here.” She offered him the spoon she’d scrapped out the cake batter with. “Take this and go watch TV.”
“Akita, I’m 16 and I’m a Jounin. You think I’d still want to lick the spoon like a 4 year old?” He snatched the spoon and put it in his mouth. “Don’t tell anyone.” He muttered as he entered the living room and plopped himself on the couch.
He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Though he was in Kamachi’s house, he knew they had his favorite channel, so he attempted to put it on. But much to his dismay, a snowy screen replaced it.
“What happened to my Spice channel?” He asked, a bit perturbed.
“I had Kamachi get rid of it. We don’t need it.”
“WHAT!? How could you do that to me!?” He whined pathetically.
“Oh, stop being cheap and just go buy a dirty magazine.” Akita scoffed.
“But dirty magazines lack the oh-so-important sound effects!” He continued to whimper.
Akita came into the room, opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small book. She tossed it in Kakashi’s lap.
“Read that. It’s really good.” She ordered.
“A book?” He picked it up and read the title. He groaned as he opened it to the first chapter. “Why in the name of everything horny would I want…to read…” He trailed off as he began reading the first few lines. “Ooh…”
He sat back comfortably and started on the road to his new addiction with a paperback porn titled “Make-Out Paradise”.