Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mission Implausible ❯ The challenge ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Project 0506 
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. They are created by Masashi Kishimoto and this author had not part in the creation and ownership of characters used in this story. I am not using this for profit in any way, shape or form....I think that covers everything.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.01.2006 | Updated On: 06.01.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 818 | Visits: 377 | Status: Work In Progress
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. They are created by Masashi Kishimoto and this author had not part in the creation and ownership of characters used in this story. I am not using this for profit in any way, shape or form....I think that covers everything.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.01.2006 | Updated On: 06.01.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 818 | Visits: 377 | Status: Work In Progress
Tomorrow is one heck of a physics exam
Studied 'til I'm totally sick
had a good dose of sugar to help me cram
And the high gave birth to this crack fic!
WOOHOO CRACK FIC!
*ahem* On with the show.
Mission Implausible
Sasuke didn't bother to hide his disgust as the great Hokage's vomit projectile missed his right foot by an inch.
"Disgusting."
Tsunade leaned drunkenly on his shoulder, swaying to a beat that was neither steady...nor helpful. I bet that genjutsu is hiding rolls of fat...there's no way she should be this heavy... She pitched to the side, nearly causing him to topple over.
I should have known the instant Shizune-san told me about this 'important, secret one-man mission'. There are a lot better things to do on a Friday night...I'm going to miss dinner with myself. Eating is going to cut into my angsting time. I'll have to reschedule for eight...no, that's my 'How Will I Kill Itachi' time...after that I'll need to work on my '1982200486 ways to kill a dobe' book. AIIIIEEEEEEE WE GO TO PRINT IN TWO DAYS AND I'M ONLY AT METHOD 571!!! I just CAN'T cancel that again! Plus I'll need my 20 minutes to cuddle with my Kyubi plushie and poke pins in the Kakashi-plushie. Ugh, why can't she walk herself home! It's six o' clock...why is she this drunk already?
The hokage settled to the floor and started to giggle to the NaruPuff Girls theme song. (A/n...that crack fic is reserved for my biology exam buzz...)
"Sakura, the annoying bossy leader. Hinata, makes all laugh at her. Anko, creepy sadistic fighter. NaruPuff save the day..."
"Come on, get up. We're almost there and I'm not going to carry you. You'll puke on my shirt." The older woman ignored him.
"Fiiiiiighting criiime and all Sasuke's fangirls. Here they come ruuuun and hiiiiiide...the NaaaaruuuuuuPuff girls....NARUPUFF!!!"
This is the leader of our village? Aw damn...I'm going to miss dinner...
Tsunade responded with a giggle and immediately puked on Sasuke's pristine shirt. "DAMN! I JUST HAD THAT DRY CLEANED!!!"
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Finally he managed to get Tsunade home and partially sober. She drank directly from the coffee pot, downing the whole thing in one gulp, no sugar or cream added. Dully she handed it back to the sulking teenager.
"More... and make it stronger this time."
"Hokage-sama, you're out of coffee."
"Check the cupboard. There's a secret stash up there."
"I used it in that last pot."
Tsunade glanced up, shocked. "All of it!?!?! That's the strong stuff!!"
The Uchiha folded his arms sullenly. "I believe your exact words were: Damn Annoy'n BOY! Dump the WHOLE F***ING THING IN THE DAM POT! BRING ME THE DAMN COFFEE!!!"
"......oh...."
"Is there anything else Hokage-sama?"
The blond glared up at him. "Am I cutting into your 'hug and mumble nice things to the Gaara plushie' time?"
"No..."
*blink*
"That's at ten..."
"Freak...can't you have a little compassion? You act like it's never happened to you."
".....I've never been drunk."
"I meant passed out moron!"
"....no..." Except for that time with Zabuza...but she doesn't know that...Oh, and that time with Orochimaru...
A creepy evil smile passed across her face. "You mean you've NEVER been out cold? Bet you'll drop unconscious by the end of next week."
"Hokage-sama?"
She got up and tottered over to her desk. "Where' I put... Ah...here." She held up a doll.
"A COLLECTERS EDITION SEMI-HENTAI BUT COMPLETELY LEGAL POSABLE ANKO DOLL COMPLETE WITH TWO CHANGES OF FISHNET AND OPTIONAL DANGO!!! That doesn't come out for WEEKS!! They only made three!" Tsunade smirked.
Sasuke folded his arms and glared at the floor. "Not like I'm interested or anything..I mean, it's not like I'm on the Shinobi Toy Company mailing list or anything..."
"The detail was done by Jiraiya himself so you know that the *ahem* body detail is completely flawless...and it's yours...IF you manage to keep from falling unconscious for seven days. At seven thirty two next week Friday you must not have passed out from shock, trauma...or anything else...deal?"
"Deal!"
Tsunade watched the boy hurry home to catch his 'scream obscenities at the neighbor's cat time'. She smirked. The genius of the Sharigan has no idea what he is getting into...
Studied 'til I'm totally sick
had a good dose of sugar to help me cram
And the high gave birth to this crack fic!
WOOHOO CRACK FIC!
*ahem* On with the show.
Mission Implausible
Sasuke didn't bother to hide his disgust as the great Hokage's vomit projectile missed his right foot by an inch.
"Disgusting."
Tsunade leaned drunkenly on his shoulder, swaying to a beat that was neither steady...nor helpful. I bet that genjutsu is hiding rolls of fat...there's no way she should be this heavy... She pitched to the side, nearly causing him to topple over.
I should have known the instant Shizune-san told me about this 'important, secret one-man mission'. There are a lot better things to do on a Friday night...I'm going to miss dinner with myself. Eating is going to cut into my angsting time. I'll have to reschedule for eight...no, that's my 'How Will I Kill Itachi' time...after that I'll need to work on my '1982200486 ways to kill a dobe' book. AIIIIEEEEEEE WE GO TO PRINT IN TWO DAYS AND I'M ONLY AT METHOD 571!!! I just CAN'T cancel that again! Plus I'll need my 20 minutes to cuddle with my Kyubi plushie and poke pins in the Kakashi-plushie. Ugh, why can't she walk herself home! It's six o' clock...why is she this drunk already?
The hokage settled to the floor and started to giggle to the NaruPuff Girls theme song. (A/n...that crack fic is reserved for my biology exam buzz...)
"Sakura, the annoying bossy leader. Hinata, makes all laugh at her. Anko, creepy sadistic fighter. NaruPuff save the day..."
"Come on, get up. We're almost there and I'm not going to carry you. You'll puke on my shirt." The older woman ignored him.
"Fiiiiiighting criiime and all Sasuke's fangirls. Here they come ruuuun and hiiiiiide...the NaaaaruuuuuuPuff girls....NARUPUFF!!!"
This is the leader of our village? Aw damn...I'm going to miss dinner...
Tsunade responded with a giggle and immediately puked on Sasuke's pristine shirt. "DAMN! I JUST HAD THAT DRY CLEANED!!!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Finally he managed to get Tsunade home and partially sober. She drank directly from the coffee pot, downing the whole thing in one gulp, no sugar or cream added. Dully she handed it back to the sulking teenager.
"More... and make it stronger this time."
"Hokage-sama, you're out of coffee."
"Check the cupboard. There's a secret stash up there."
"I used it in that last pot."
Tsunade glanced up, shocked. "All of it!?!?! That's the strong stuff!!"
The Uchiha folded his arms sullenly. "I believe your exact words were: Damn Annoy'n BOY! Dump the WHOLE F***ING THING IN THE DAM POT! BRING ME THE DAMN COFFEE!!!"
"......oh...."
"Is there anything else Hokage-sama?"
The blond glared up at him. "Am I cutting into your 'hug and mumble nice things to the Gaara plushie' time?"
"No..."
*blink*
"That's at ten..."
"Freak...can't you have a little compassion? You act like it's never happened to you."
".....I've never been drunk."
"I meant passed out moron!"
"....no..." Except for that time with Zabuza...but she doesn't know that...Oh, and that time with Orochimaru...
A creepy evil smile passed across her face. "You mean you've NEVER been out cold? Bet you'll drop unconscious by the end of next week."
"Hokage-sama?"
She got up and tottered over to her desk. "Where' I put... Ah...here." She held up a doll.
"A COLLECTERS EDITION SEMI-HENTAI BUT COMPLETELY LEGAL POSABLE ANKO DOLL COMPLETE WITH TWO CHANGES OF FISHNET AND OPTIONAL DANGO!!! That doesn't come out for WEEKS!! They only made three!" Tsunade smirked.
Sasuke folded his arms and glared at the floor. "Not like I'm interested or anything..I mean, it's not like I'm on the Shinobi Toy Company mailing list or anything..."
"The detail was done by Jiraiya himself so you know that the *ahem* body detail is completely flawless...and it's yours...IF you manage to keep from falling unconscious for seven days. At seven thirty two next week Friday you must not have passed out from shock, trauma...or anything else...deal?"
"Deal!"
Tsunade watched the boy hurry home to catch his 'scream obscenities at the neighbor's cat time'. She smirked. The genius of the Sharigan has no idea what he is getting into...