Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Sacrifice ❯ Realization ( Chapter 11 )

Chapter Eleven: Realization

 

“Sakura, dear, are you all right in there?” Toki's concerned voice floated from outside the door to inside the room. “You've been in there for hours! Do you want something to eat?” It was strange; Toki had somehow adopted a motherly/grandmotherly nature in the past few hours or so, and it was almost comforting. But the last thing Sakura wanted now was to have someone to care for her. All she wanted to do was lie on this soft bed and think and be left alone.

“Yes, I'm fine, Toki.” Sakura called back, hiding her annoyance. “I'm not hungry though, thank you!”

“Well…can I come in?” It seemed Toki wasn't ready to give up yet.

“Fine.” Might as well humor her, thought Sakura.

Toki came in, in the form of a young woman, seeming old enough to be Sakura's older sister. “Sakura…I—I'm sorry.” Her face was flushed and uncomfortable, but her voice was sincere and almost guilty.

“For what?”

“I never should have read your fortune. I've hurt you so much, haven't I?”

“It's not you that hurt me, Toki. I think I was expecting that to happen anyway, having Sasuke not return my feelings. Maybe he's just way out of my league.”

“No, Sakura! If you're talking of leagues, you're not even in his ballpark!” Toki spoke with such passion that Sakura looked up, surprised.

She laughed. “Oh, thanks, but I'm not sure that's true. Sasuke was never really interested in me, just in what I might become.” She frowned, her pink bangs dangling off her forehead. She tugged at one strand, deep in thought. “And I was just drawn to him by his mysterious nature and his murky past. I think everyone was. He's really very handsome, too.”

Toki sat still, playing with her shirt. “Those kinds of guys really are the best, aren't they? They're athletic, smart, good-looking, mysterious, emotionless; there's really only one of them in the world. But it's hard loving them. They just distance themselves from everyone else, and you never know what they're thinking. They're just not capable of love.”

Sakura buried her face into a pillow. “Et lie nu meek num a spear eon the, ef nu lunt mine me athing.”

The older girl stared in confusion. “What?”

She quickly uncovered her mouth. “Oh, sorry! I said, it's like you speak from experience, if you don't mind me asking.”

Toki smiled wistfully. “I don't mind you asking, and now that I think about it, it would be a good story for me to tell. You'd gain a lot from it.”

Sakura immediately sat up attentively. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Toki said, smiling. Her eyes grew misty as she started her story, her hands fidgeting with her blouse all the while. “When I was younger, much, much, younger, maybe thirteen or fourteen, I fell in love. There are people out there who say that children don't know love. But they're wrong. Kids can fall in love, and the magnitude of that love can be stronger than an adult's; with or without sleeping together. It was an on and off relationship between the two of us, always me breaking it off simply because sometimes I couldn't understand him, and his violent and moody temper frightened me from time to time.”

Sakura was breathless. “Tell me more about him.”

Toki gladly complied. “He was taller than me by three or four inches, and he had black, black hair. He was constantly changing his hairstyle, but his hair was always rather long. Not long, like how people wear it now; but just to the back of his neck, and bangs in the front. He had rather narrow, small eyes, but they were clever and secretive. His vision wasn't perfect, and he wore glasses. They weren't thick or anything; just glasses. They made him seem smarter, but since he never displayed his intelligence to others, they would consider it irony. He was a visitor from another village who had decided to stay; he was a different ethnicity from me, but he was still Asian. He had a crimson mouth on a pale face that either flushed in amusement or darkened in fury. He was strong and well built; a good fighter. He was, however, not the handsomest guy out there, and he had some fat on him, but he was gentle and attractive in his own way. He was my best friend before he was my boyfriend, and even after the breakups, we were close.”

“He sounds perfect.” The younger girl breathed, eyes wide. “What went wrong?”

“That's the same question I asked myself every day.” Toki said sadly, pulling on her hair. “He was perfect; at first. His hugs were soft and gentle; he respected me, and he knew when I wanted space. He treated me like a goddess, and made me feel beautiful. He never pushed too hard at boundaries; he simply waited for them to melt away in time. He was so patient and caring.” She frowned. “But he had a dark side that people knew, and feared. Because he was so good at fighting, he was a terror when he got mad. There was hardly a person strong enough or brave enough to stop him. He never hit me or hurt me physically, but seeing him like that was like a stab in the heart. I loved him so much, but I knew there was something wrong with him, too. He was moody and depressed, and he wouldn't lower his walls even for me. That was one reason I left him, though it was never the reason I told him.”

“What was the other reason?”

“The other reason was that…he had a charisma, as I might have mentioned before. There was just something about him that pulls others towards him. Many people liked him, and he knew it.” Seeing the look on Sakura's face, she quickly added, “But I don't mean that he was conceited or vain. It was just that he knew he could get people to like him—and he flirted. A lot. I approached him a couple times but we never really resolved the problem. That's what ended the first relationship. The second relationship was when he wanted two girlfriends. Which reminds me—he fell in love very easily, but I was always number one in his heart. It wasn't because he told me—it was because I knew it myself. The third relationship—I don't know why I did end it, but I did, and I always regretted that. He left, and I never saw him again. It broke my heart, and I haven't really loved since.” Toki sighed and looked down at her fingers. “There just wasn't anyone else like him.”

“Oh…I'm sorry.” Sakura said, looking away uncomfortably.

“I just…I just don't want you to end up like me. You should be able to love and love and love, and even if your heart gets broken, you should still love. Don't let this guy drag you down. It's beyond a normal crush, isn't it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Sakura furrowed her brow, staring at her bedspread. “I'm sorry Toki, but—”

“You need to be alone for a bit?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem. Just lie down for a while, okay?”

“Sure.” The moment Sakura was sure Toki had left and was safely out of earshot, she broke down and cried. But this time, it wasn't just crying because something didn't go her way—they were heart-wrenching, nerve-wracking sobs, and she just couldn't control them. She went on like this for the best of ten minutes, and when she regained control, she smoothed out the now rumpled sheets and silently sat in the middle of her bed, thinking. And when she came out of her room an hour later, she knew exactly what she was going to do, and how she was going to do it. It would cost her life, but she had already made up her mind—there was no going back.

 

 

“She's just a friend.” Sasuke said, frowning. “Don't you think you're getting too worked up about this, Kira?”

“Girls get worked up. Deal with it.” Kira snapped, straightening out her room. Because of the previous event, her things had ended up on the floor, and she was putting everything back into place as best as she could. Suddenly, she looked up at him, eyes blazing passionately beneath her long black eyelashes. “Besides, you're my boyfriend. I don't want anyone else to have you. You're mine.”

Sasuke was taken aback by her bluntness and possessiveness, but he knew he should have expected it. Even when they were younger, anything that belonged to Kira she treasured zealously and would flare up if anyone took more than a passing interest at them. She once had a dog, and would only allow even her closest friends only a pat or two before she pulled them away. Strangers couldn't even look at the dog without getting accused by the owner for leering at it. Kira had doted on the dog until he died of old age, and even then had torn up her floorboards and dug a grave for him dozens of feet below her bed. It was hard to break free from her without getting hurt.

“Kira…listen.” Sasuke began uncomfortably, shifting from one foot to another. “I don't think we should be together like this.”

“What, aren't you happy to see me?”

“No, no I am! Really, I am. It's just that I've never been in a relationship before and I haven't ever really thought about being in one.” That was a pretty good reason, Sasuke thought; it would be hard to fight that one.

But Kira dismissed the thought like swatting a fly. “That was only because I left, but now I'm back.”

“But there's such a large age difference, Kira, and you're older than me. Don't you think it would be weird like that? You dating a younger guy?” Sasuke was getting desperate.

“Of course not! You're so old-fashioned. And besides, that was what I was trying to tell you.” Kira looked Sasuke in the eye. “The guy who writes the birth charts screwed up. He mixed up some dates when he transferred his personal records to the city records. I'm the younger one, Sasuke, and we're less than a year apart.”

“That's not possible!” Sasuke exclaimed, torn between relief and horror. “How could that happen? Akiru-san was a very careful man.”

“He's an old man, Sasuke.” Kira scowled, righting a vase on a small night table. “It was late at night, and with his deteriorating vision, it's easy to believe he made some mistakes. And besides, the city records always come out a year or two late, so things like that could happen.”

“But even so, how would you find out about this? Akiru-san was under oath never to reveal his personal records to anyone.”

“He went out one day. I just went in and looked. I always had a feeling that I wasn't that old.” Kira smiled smugly.

“That's illegal!” Sasuke cried, outraged. “You broke a village rule!”

“And no one but you and I know, so shut it!” growled Kira viciously, stabbing a finger towards him. “Face it, Sasuke, you've run out of reasons, and I don't care what other crap you make up, because I'm your girlfriend and you're going to like it!”