Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Strained Alliance ❯ Mexican Standoff--Battle in the Rice Fields ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1: Mexican Standoff--Battle In the Rice Fields

 

Mexican Standoff: According to Wikipedia, a Mexican standoff is a slang term defined as a stalemate or impasse, a confrontation that neither side can win. In popular culture, the Mexican standoff is usually portrayed as two or more opposing men with guns drawn and ready, creating a very tense situation.

 

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After the rather unsatisfying encounter that they'd had at Orochimaru's most recent hideout, all of the members of Konohagakure's Team Seven—past and current—wanted another crack at it. Naruto and Sakura, as well as Sai (for his part), wanted to drag Uchiha Sasuke back to the village, whether it be kicking and screaming, or with a concussion and unconscious. Naruto made his usual vows, “I'll definitely get that damned teme back next time…” While Sakura took a few moments to crush the side of the cliff wall, obliterating whatever remained of the entrance to Orochimaru's lair. What can I say? Destruction is a good stress reliever. After alleiviating her tension, Sakura also made a vow. If “Sasuke-kun” didn't come back willingly, she'd just cut off his chakra and break all his limbs. That would make dealing with him a lot easier. Taping his mouth shut with duct-tape would also work wonders.

 

Sasuke, on the other hand, just wanted to kill all of them. He wanted to kill Naruto because he made him doubt his mission. He wanted to kill Sakura because she made him feel stupid and useless emotions that could only be described as…fuzzy. And he wanted to kill Sai, mostly because he'd gotten in the way of Sasuke killing Naruto, but also because he was annoying. It was amazing how short the list of people Uchiha Sasuke didn't want to kill actually was. Most of those were already dead, though there were those who were so weak they'd never be a threat. These included:

 

Umino Iruka

Hyuuga Hinata

Konohamaru & Company

Yuuhi Kurenai (damned genjutsu users!)

Yamanaka Ino

Tenten

Shiranui Genma

Haruno Sakura

 

Now, one might say that because Genma and Kuranai were Jounin, Sasuke might find them to be a challenge. Not so! He was, and still is, confident in his abilities (to a fault). This caused him at times to underestimate people, such as Naruto. There were times when he would think that the little blonde boy had nothing left. Times when he was certain that loud-mouthed shit-for-brains had not one more ounce of energy and/or chakra left in him. Then, up pops the dead-last! A kick to the jaw, a punch to the gut, and Uchiha Sasuke, darling of the masses, goes down with a very ungraceful thud.

 

Ooops. That wasn't supposed to happen, now, was it?

 

In any event, it was out of sheer annoyance that Sasuke wanted to pound the cockroach of a ninja (you know, there will only be three things left at the end of Nuclear Holocaust, right? Those are: Twinkies â„¢ , instant ramen, and cockroaches) into the ground and make him beg for his life before he took it from him. Then, he would really have a nice, long laugh, and get himself a steaming bowl of miso ramen in memoriam. Ah, that would be nice. Or, maybe he'd have pork ramen…but I digress.

 

It was on the third-to-last day. Three days, six hours and ten minutes until he was going to become the housing for Orochimaru's sick, twisted, and rather amusing soul. He hated taking orders. And in spite of what he'd told Naruto, Sakura and Sai, he didn't relish the thought of being host to a parasite of a human being. But, it was a means to an end. Orochimaru had told him that not all of him would be dissolved. The man hadn't lied to him yet, so why would he start now?

 

On this, the third-to-last day of life as he knew it, Sasuke had decided to take it easy. Yes, Uchiha Sasuke was taking the day off to stop, and smell the roses, so to speak. He found himself walking on narrow dirt paths somewhere in the middle of the Earth Country. Utilizing a jutsu he'd just learned a week ago, he could do Kakashi's little disappearing trick now. That helped, since he didn't feel like having Kabuto prodding him with tests anymore. No, he just wanted to watch other people work today.

 

There were, in fact, quite a few people working in the rice fields. Young women with pants rolled up above their knees tread slowly and carefully through the rice paddies, the water soaking the bottom edges of them anyway. Their wide hats shaded their faces, until they looked up upon sensing movement. Those girls looked quickly away when they saw his face, and the katana shoved into the back of his belt. He had to smile at that. If this had been his home village, those girls would be jumping him, with or without the scowl and blade. There were no fangirls here, however. Here, there were only those people that wanted nothing to do with armed men who frowned at their very existence.

 

His smile, when it formed, was less than pleasant. He was thinking of killing again. All the wonderful blood that would be spilt when Orochimaru killed Itachi for him. Would he really be aware of it? Could he be satisfied, knowing that his master, soon to be occupier, would take care of business for him? In a word, yes. It was as simple as that. He could live with himself for three more days, regardless. After that, he wouldn't have to worry about it. He wouldn't worry about anything then. Nothing at all.

 

Eyes watching the ground in front of him, he stared at little bits of dried grass blowing by in the wind, tumbling along the dusty track. Suddenly, a small sound caught his attention. It was a little almost-wet slapping sound. His head turned slightly to the right (west) and he saw a small orange toad, hopping along. It stopped for a moment, looking up at him. The thing was heading east, and seemed to be waiting for him to pass by before crossing. Considerate little thing, isn't he? Sasuke smirked, and kept walking south. The breeze picked up, and he watched the girls in the field watching him warily.

 

Now, this was the life. The air was clean, the sky was blue, and everyone around him had the fear of Sasuke in them. Something small and white, moving very slowly, caught his eye. The little slug, struggling up a bending blade of grass, made him shrug. Why was it that creatures practiced such futile actions? The diminutive thing was climbing, only to be lowered to the ground again as the green leafy plant bent under its slimy bulk. It reminded him of home. Of Naruto, who wanted only one thing in life: to be Hokage. A snort escaped him. Idiot. Sasuke was suddenly glad he'd never be around to see that tragedy. If it ever did happen while he was aware and alive, he'd proudly stand on the highest peak of the Hokage Mountain and scream out over Konhoa (missing-nin or no, he still had the desire to voice his displeasure), “There goes the neighborhood!”

 

As he closed his eyes, breathing in the mid-summer-sweet air, he caught a whiff of something that nagged at the back of his consciousness. There was…oddly scented shampoo, like oranges and ginger, and…

 

Sasuke's eyes flew open, and he looked around in alarm. The nearest actual town was miles away, and yet there it was. Fucking Ramen. He saw nothing but the girls in the field. Sharingan activating, he looked at each and every one, trying to spot a bunshin, henge, or other jutsu. Nothing. Just girls. Normal, non-ninja girls. Calm down. He's not here. The red leaked from his eyes, and they were once again their old dark gray. He could breathe easier now.

 

Or, he could until shiruken rained down on him from all directions. What the ever-loving fuck? Dodging the projectiles as best he could, he whipped his katana from its sheath, blocking as many as possible. When the metal rain stopped falling, he looked around, and was instantly knocked back onto his rear-end by an enormous gust of wind. Blinking dust from his eyes and hauling himself to his feet, Sasuke's vision cleared to a very disconcerting (well, for him, it was mildly distressing, but anyone else would have soiled themselves) sight.

 

Fifteen meters to the east stood Temari, Kankarou, and Sabaku no Gara. North of him were Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji, and his little cousin, Hinata. In the west, at the ready, were Inuzuka Kiba and his dog Akamaru (now the size of a small horse), standing between Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura. Turning around, he found Naruto, Nara Shikamaru, Aburame Shino, and Hatake Kakashi. It took a moment for him to digest all of this. When he did, he smirked.

 

Toad.

 

Slug.

 

Spies.

 

Goddamnit to hell.

 

In the words of Shikamaru, this was going to be troublesome. When his gaze came to rest on his former best friend, he smiled (rather toothily). “Good morning, Naruto. How are you today?” And why in the fucking hell are you wearing that?

 

“That” just happened to be women's clothing. In fact, taking in the others, he found that they were all actually those “ordinary non-ninja girls” that he had seen in the fields, complete with wide-brimmed hats. Kakashi looked particularly strange wearing false breasts. Naruto, on the other hand, was rather convincing, as was Neji. Apparently, they'd gone old-school, and used not one bit of chakra to pull off their trap. It was actually rather impressive forethought.

 

The sunny-haired boy scratched his cheek in thought for a short moment before answering. “I'll be a lot better once I've kicked your stupid ass.”

 

“Pot and kettle, Naruto. Pot and kettle.” He let his voice come out as amused as he really was. Honestly, Naruto calling him stupid.

 

Off to his right, he heard Sakura's voice, surprisingly devoid of emotion. “You'd better listen to what he has to say, Sasuke.” The lack of suffix to his name did not escape his notice, and he frowned at it before twitching his nose (there was an itch) and then giving Sakura the finger without even turning to look in her direction. There was a squelching sound, and then curses muttered at him, before he heard Ino yelling.

 

“Asshole! What the fuck? She's trying to keep you from getting killed, and that's the gratitude she gets?” Now, that was something new. Yamanaka Ino was formerly one of the most rabid fangirls he'd ever encountered. Now, she seemed to hate his guts. Alright with him. The sentiment was mutual.

 

“Bite me, Yamanaka.” His voice was a low drawl as he turned his attention back to a now-fuming Naruto. “You were saying, dobe?”

 

Naruto's fingers curled into fists at his sides before opening, and reaching up to rip off the constricting women's clothing. Sasuke suddenly found himself looking at a very different Naruto. The boy stood before him on the dirt path, wearing a white kimono with blue stripes over the breast, and chokingly orange hakama. A katana, sheathed in boxwood, inlaid with flame-maple, was shoved into the back of his blue obi. His voice came out as a growl. “I'm only going to say this once, Uchiha. So listen up, ne?”

 

“Speak.” He knew he was merely humoring the blonde, but something in those blue eyes told him that it would be best to listen.

 

“Let's play a little game, shall we?” Naruto's tone was patronizing. Sasuke was so unused to hearing anything remotely like this from him that it threw him off, and he could only nod. “There's a good boy. Now, here are the rules. The rest of these people? They're here to make sure nobody dies. Only as a last resort. Get me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The cold blue eyes seemed to be staring straight into him, freezing his lungs. He certainly couldn't breathe. Naruto was still speaking. “Good. On to actual game-play. You, me, and Sakura. Three-way spar. Winner take all.”

 

“You're not serious.”

 

Sakura spoke up now, and he had no choice other than turn to her. Green eyes that had once harbored such unwavering devotion now held only steely determination. “Sasuke, this is your only chance. If you fight, and you win, we'll do whatever you want. Lose, and you come back with us, and help us kill Orochimaru. In return, I have the assurance of the Hokage that the three of us will have only one mission until it is complete.”

 

“And that is?”

 

“To hunt down and kill Uchiha Itachi.” Sakura said this with conviction. So much so that he knew it to be the truth. Did that change anything? Really? Perhaps, but perhaps not. He had to admit, the offer was tempting. Either way, it was a win for him. If he fought and won, then he got to grind both their faces into the dirt and get off scot-free. If he lost, he was on probation for a bit, then he would get to go after his brother.

 

What the hell. You don't get offers like that every day.

 

Sasuke stabbed his katana into the ground, then walked forward, toward Naruto, leaving the blade jutting up from the path behind him. Putting out his hand, he waited. “Well? I thought we could shake on it.”

 

“No fucking way. That's your left hand.” So, Naruto might actually have grown a brain? How else would one explain that the moron had realized Sasuke was going to Chidori his hand into toasty little bits? Oh, well. There would be plenty of other opportunities. He snorted, and ran swiftly back to where his sword was driven into the ground. Sakura, it appeared, had also divested herself of the worker's clothing.

 

What he saw was rather…surprising. It seemed that she had taken a leaf out of Mitarashi Anko's fashion book. The pink-haired kunoichi wore a mesh shirt, with only a loosely-draped kimono over it (in red, with pink flowers along the collar and sleeves), which bared much of her breasts. Had he been in an idle state of mind, he would have admired them. The kimono was slit up the sides, to her hips, revealing bandages where black shorts used to be. Her old boots were still there. Behind a pale pink silk obi, which was tied in drum fashion, there was a katana. It seemed that they would be fighting evenly. Her blade was sheathed in an ebony, inlaid with mother-of-pearl fans.

 

Sasuke supposed that the decoration was a tweak to his nose. No matter. He watched her draw the weapon with a sure and practiced motion. When did she have time to learn its use? The sound of Naruto's blade being pulled from its sheath came from his left, and then he heard the other boy's voice. “Can I take that as a yes?”

 

“You may, dobe. You may.”

 

Naruto put a hand up in signal, and the other shinobi removed themselves by an extra one-hundred meters. The remaining trio faced each other. This was to be a full-on three-way spar. Not two against one. So he would be fighting them both, while they fought each other, and him? Nice.

 

As Sasuke stood gauging his opponents, he felt the heat of the sun, and the dirt crunching under his sandals. He never really felt alive uless he was fighting. And right now, he felt like he was immortal. All he had to do was wait. Naruto would break first. He couldn't stand still for long. The blonde remained frozen to the spot, eyes like the depths of a glacier staring back at him. Sakura, however, made a small motion. Her left hand came to rest on her katana's hilt, and there was a soft click.

 

The pink haired young woman smiled softly at him as she pulled her hands apart again, now holding a blade in each hand. Sasuke smiled back. That was clever. She continued to wait. “You guys are getting boring.” He said this as he ran at Naruto, who dropped into a defensive stance. His first attack, a diagonal slash of lightening-speed, was blocked by the blond ninja, one hand on the hilt, the other on the dull edge of the blade. Sparks flew, fizzling in the murky water around them. Naruto's counter attack came when he pushed Sasuke's blade downward with both hands, and the boy took a step toward him, twisting his blade so that the razor edge pointed skyward, and made a well-balanced slash at Sasuke's face.

 

The missing-nin simply leaned back and away from the blade, as he freed his own sword from Naruto's foot, where he'd wedged the tip to the ground under the heel of his shoe. With a flash of steel, Sasuke swung back at Naruto one-handed. The boy jumped back, especially since Sakura was joining the fray. The girl stood between them both, one blade pointed at either of them.

 

“Well, boys, you weren't going to play with out me, were you?” Her smile was mischievous. Sasuke's eye twitched. Was she mocking him?

 

Naruto smiled, a warm, genuine smile, but made a comment that would surely get him pummeled. “I would never think of doing anything of the sort, Sakura-hime.” With a wild cry, she lunged at Naruto, raining down blows on him with her left hand, the katana in her right remained at the ready, in case she needed it to parry any of Naruto's counter attacks. The first such counter was Naruto's evasion of her sixth hit, and a vicious kick to her chest, which sent her sliding backward, nearly bowling Sasuke over.

 

Thinking that he could take advantage of her lack of balance, Sasuke attempted to kick her feet from under her. This was where he was out-classed. How it happened, he knew not. But what he did know was that Sakura somehow vaulted backward, flipping in midair to come to rest behind him. As she came down, he felt a breeze go by the right side of his face. A split second later, Sasuke watched the tips of his bangs flutter to the ground. His eyes only widened as much as he would allow them to, however, because then, he was being attacked on both sides. Blocking one particularly hard swing from Naruto, he also had to kick Sakura's hip to knock her away.

 

Then, Sasuke found that both he and Naruto were attacking Sakura. She fought hard, but seemed to be loosing ground. “Sasuke, are you going easy on me?” She asked, a teasing smirk on her face. He could not believe his ears. She really was mocking him.

 

Sucking on a tooth for a second, he considered this as he parried her left hand. “Fine. You want me serious, Sakura? You've got it.” His Sharingan activated, and he upped his speed by sending chakra to his feet. Sasuke also sent Chidori though his blade, which increased the force of the blow, but also dulled the cutting edge of Sakura's sword.

 

Naruto, at the same time, was dodging blows from Sakura, as well. He had no Chidori, only speed. But, Sasuke had to admit that the boy had almost endless reserves of chakra to draw upon, so that he could make himself much faster than normal. His former teammates were smiling. Was he left out of the inside joke? What was so funny?

 

Sasuke had had enough. He pulled out a pair of shiruken, and hurled them at Sakura and Naruto. Naruto, unfazed by the bit of metal that was now lodged in his left shoulder, merely grunted and kept fighting Sakura. Or at least he tried. Sakura dodged the missile by turning her head and leaning slightly to her left. Then, she took three quick steps forward while boosting her chakra in her arms, causing both boys extreme trouble. Both of them were having a very hard time holding their weapons.

 

“Damn it.” Sasuke gritted out, “Naruto…what the fuck? How did she get this strong?”

 

“Shit!” The blonde squeaked as he jumped to the right, avoiding the latest arc of a wickedly sharp blade. Sakura was continuing her advance, but, more slowly now. “Damned if I know, teme. She doesn't sleep much anymore. Maybe she's been training?” There was a note of frustrated amusement in his voice. Goddamnit, what's so fucking funny?

 

“If you want to know something about me,” Sakura said, batting both his and Naruto's blades away from herself, north and south respectively, the girl flipped over their heads, landing in a crouch. Before either of them could turn, twin blades flashed out, and severed Naruto's right hamstring, and Sasuke's left. “then you should try asking me, Sasuke.”

 

The girl then stepped back, at the ready. Naruto and Sasuke stared at each other, balancing on one leg each. Both knew that they were at a distinct disadvantage. If Sakura chose to attack, she would best either one, simply because she could maneuver better. Sasuke contemplated using a jutsu, but decided against it. He needed all of the chakra he had, just in case. A plan formed in his head. Fast as greased lightening, he lay his blade at Naruto's throat. Though, he did find that one was pressed against his neck, as well. That would be Sakura.

 

“I'll kill him, Sakura. You know I will.” He watched her from the corner of his eye.

 

“And I'll kill you.” A sweet smile found it's way to her lips. “Winner take all, Sasuke. Your choice.”

 

“No! We're supposed to bring him back alive, Sakura!” Naruto shrieked, and put his katana to her neck. Sakura's free katana still dangled at her left side, ready to take out whoever moved first.

 

Now, this is an interesting development.

 

“It seems, children, that we are at an impasse.” A voice to their left said. Sasuke looked past Sakura, to see his old sensei. Kakashi adjusted the gloves he wore, and looked at them with an air of bemused delight. “As the rest of us are here to ensure than none of you die, I must say that I know who won this little battle.” The man was obviously referring to Sakura.

 

“What?!” Naruto yelled, Sasuke's blade at his neck forgotten for a moment. “I can still fight, Kakashi! So can Sasuke!” The silver-haired Jounin rolled his visible eye.

 

“The dobe is correct, Kakashi. I am still able to fight.”

 

Sakura made an annoyed sound in the back of her throat. It was at that moment she played her trump card. That arm, which had been at her side, suddenly dropped her sword. Chakra, green and glowing, engulfed her hand, and it was quickly rammed into his chest. Sasuke suddenly felt cold. Why? Well, one reason was because Sakura had flat-palm smacked him twenty meters into the rice paddy, and he was now soaking wet. The other explanation? His chakra was completely cut off.

 

Suddenly, he was being hauled to his feet. Sakura was there, a look of concentration etched into her face as she took hold of his arm. “W-what are you doing?” He asked, suddenly alarmed.

 

Her lack of answer was frightening him, especially when she held his elbow, and struck with her other hand, breaking the humerus bone. A shock of pain ran up his arm, and echoed through his body, causing a wave of nausea to break in his stomach. Vaguely, Sasuke saw Naruto watching in abject horror. Sakura repeated this treatment on his left arm, and then broke both his femurs.

 

Now, he lay floating dully in the muddy water of the rice paddy, staring up at the sky. Sakura stretched her arms a little, then leaned down to him. “Sasuke-kun, I think you're ready to come home now. I win.” A victorious smirk was the only expression he got from her.

 

He blinked up at her, tears forming in his eyes from the pain, and mouthed the words, “Fine. Let's go.” With that, he blacked out.

 

--

 

Naruto watched his former best friend sleeping. The boy was in a full body cast. It was rather funny how it happened, really. He hadn't expected that technique to work. After all, it was Sakura, and she'd used a jutsu that she invented specifically for that day. Naruto had asked her to teach him. She declined. Sakura was sitting on the windowsill, waiting for the boy in the bed to wake up, just like Naruto was.

 

“Sakura-chan, did you have to break all those bones?”

 

Sighing, she turned her face toward him. “Would he have admitted defeat otherwise?” No, Naruto thought, he probably wouldn't have. Shrugging, he rubbed at the sore spot where she'd hamstrung him the day before. It was pretty-much healed, only he needed to keep from straining himself for about a week.

 

A croaking sound came from the bed, and when Naruto looked, Sasuke's eyes were opening. “Morning, Sunshine.” Naruto said brightly. “Welcome home.”

 

“Fuck off, Uzumaki.”

 

“Don't make me break your jaw, Sasuke-kun.” The boy's eyes widened at that statement. Sakura came to stand over the bed, leaning down to peer into Sasuke's eyes. The Uchiha simply stared back, impassive. “You wanted to know how I got so strong, ne, Sasuke-kun?”

 

“That would be nice.”

 

“Well…” she said softly, almost secretively, “It was…and this will just burn you up, Sasuke-kun, because you hate it so much…it was…genjutsu.”

 

Jerking in his body-cast as much as he could, and a vein poking out in the middle of his forehead, Sasuke half-yelled, half-croaked, “This fucking cast is not genjutsu, Sakura! You're lying!”

 

Her eyes blinked slowly at him as she processed that. Then, she leaned down and kissed his forehead gently, which seemed to frighten him. “Sasuke-kun,” she said softly, “I never said I put a genjutsu on you, now, did I?”

 

Naruto smirked. He had been waiting for this.

 

Sasuke blinked up at her face, which was only centimeters from his own, as she said, “I placed genjutsu on myself. It's a technique I prepared specifically for this. It's self-sustaining for about three days while I'm awake. Sleeping, I put it into a dormant state. It allows me full knowledge of any subject. Including swordplay. It also let down the mental block I had toward harming you and Naruto.” After a moment, with the girl staring down at him, Sasuke looked away, having apparently decided to stare out of the window.

 

“Teme, are you pissed or something?” The blonde boy in the chair near the head of the bed asked.

 

“What gave you that idea?” He turned back to look at Naruto, and the blonde shinobi thought he saw a slight blush traveling over Sasuke's face. What the hell…he's human.

 

“Nothing in particular. Maybe the enormous stick wedged sideways up your ass?”

 

Growling curses under his breath, the Uchiha sighed.

 

Naruto, amused beyond words, said, “No worries, baka-Sasuke. As soon as you're better, we'll go and kick Orochimaru's ass, then we can go and find your brother.” Sasuke looked at him as if he'd grown another head.

 

“Killing him is my job.”

 

Leaning over and poking the black-haired invalid in the middle of the forehead, Naruto laughed. “Never said I would be doing the killing, did I?”

 

“What's your job, then?” Sasuke seemed genuinely curious.

 

“Keh. I'm the worm on the hook.”