Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Wild Days ❯ What the hell? ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Winged_Drak 
It's the beginning of a whole new set of problems.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Adventure / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.15.2006 | Updated On: 10.02.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 329 | Status: Work In Progress
It's the beginning of a whole new set of problems.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Adventure / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.15.2006 | Updated On: 10.02.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 329 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Chapter 1: What the hell?
Sasuke ignored the chaos going on around him. Everyone was holding a party. He wasn't even sure what the party was for, but he'd gotten dragged into it. He would much rather be training with Naruto by the river. It was quiet there, except for Naruto's screams, which he'd learned to tune out long ago. He stood up. "I'm leaving." He announced to the air.
"Come on Sasuke, relax and have a little fun for once."
"Naruto, go away."
"But Sasuke--"
"I don't like parties." He kept walking.
"Sasuke, Sasuke, I really don't think you want to leave."
He stopped. "Why is that, Naruto?"
"Umm... I'm not supposed to tell you, but, ahh, they've got blackmail pictures." He whispered, wide eyed. "I'd prefer to be training right now too, Sasuke, but these pictures, ah, they're a bit humiliating, even for me."
That got his attention. "What could possibly humiliate you?"
"Remember that day when we became genin?" The look on Naruto's face made it clear just what he was talking about.
"Who could possibly forget? I thought my mouth was going to rot off."
"Hey, me too! Anyway, some girl got a picture, and now she's decided to hold this party, and any party you're at gets lots of attention, and--"
"I get it. I think we need to get those pictures from her. Now."
"All right! I'll distract her, and Sasuke, you grab the pictures." Naruto was gone before Sasuke could grab him, already heading into the thick of the party.
Damn dobe, he's going to get caught! Sasuke ducked under an overhanging, forming a number of seals before returning. Now where is he? There! And she's got the pictures. Sasuke, being his usual self, walked casually past her, but his eyes flashed Sharingan red for a moment, and his hands flickered. Got 'em. "Oi, Naruto, let's get outta here."
Naruto looked up from where he was animatedly telling his story. "Huh? Oh, you got them already? I'm coming, just let me get some of this food first."
"Naruto!"
"I'm hungry!"
Sasuke glared, but gave up before the argument escalated. If he knew anything about Naruto, it was that you never got between him and food. If you did, it ended up taking twice as long to get what you wanted done than if you just let him eat in the first place. "Hurry it up dobe."
"Teme! I told you not to call me that!"
Fifteen minutes and ten ramen bowls later, they were on their way to the river, leaving the boring "party" behind.
"Hey, Sasuke, let me see the picture." Naruto said, holding out a hand.
"There's more than one."
"What!"
"There's more than one."
"I heard you, but what are they all of?"
"I haven't looked yet."
Naruto was well on his way to fuming, or steaming, or whatever it was Naruto did. "Well let's see 'em already!" He grabbed at Sasuke's pockets, dancing around him as they kept moving down the riverbank.
"You're going to fall in the river if you keep bouncing around like that." Sasuke warned. The last time Naruto fell, he landed in muddy clay, and it left his training clothes smelling nasty for a week.
"It's fine, fine! Just lemme see the pictures!" On cue, Naruto's left foot slipped mid-hop, and he teetered towards the water.
"N-Naruto!" Sasuke stepped back to avoid getting dragged in, but grabbed for Naruto's hand just the same. Unfortunately, his own feet met empty air, while his arm was caught by the now falling Naruto. "Damn it! Naruto!" Was all he could get out before they hit the water together.
When the water finished splashing back to the river, Sasuke realized he wasn't entirely soaked, though it was a near thing. He'd landed on top of Naruto, who was looking somewhat dazed, and more than a little soaked. This is...awkward. He's not nearly as bony as he looks, either.
"Uh?" He heard a moan from Naruto. "Sasuke?" When Naruto realized just how close Sasuke was he turned a bright red. "Hey, get off me will you? Ouch! I think I hit my head" He looked up when Sasuke froze on top of him. "Wha--"
"Down!" Sasuke pushed Naruto down as shuriken sliced through the air. What the hell?
--------------------
"Kiba! Akamaru! Your friend's here!" The voice rang through the compound, announcing Shino's presence before he even came into sight.
"Yeah! Let's go Akamaru! We'll get Shino good today!" It had become longstanding tradition for them to try and sneak up on Shino as he approached Kiba's house, resulting in an acute ability to sense each other's presence, something Kiba didn't understand, but accounted for the fact that he never actually surprised Shino.
Once in a while, to humor Kiba, Shino let him surprise him. Usually he only did that if Kiba wasn't feeling well, or if they'd fought over something. And once in a while he just felt like letting Kiba tackle him and getting in a nice scuffle.
So where's he coming from today? Shino wondered, feeling out the area around him. There's Akamaru, now Kiba is--
His thoughts came to an crashing halt as he was hit solidly from behind.
Oh, he was behind me.
"Hey Shino! I gotcha this time?" Kiba grappled Shino, pinning him to the ground.
"I never thought you would simply follow the road. I was looking in the bushes." Shino turned his head to look at Kiba. "May I get up now?"
"Wha? Oh, yeah, sorry. Hey, it's my turn to pick where we eat, 'cause I surprised ya. Any preferences?" Kiba knew that Shino wasn't a big fan of cheese hamburgers, but put up with them once in a while to keep Kiba happy.
"If you want hamburgers, we can eat hamburbers Kiba. I simply ask that you be sure they are real meat this time." He turned slightly green at the memory.
Kiba grinned sheepishly at his friend. "Sorry about that Shino. I, ah--"
"It's nothing, Kiba, just make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Right." Akamaru slipped out of the bushes and plopped himself down by Kiba.
"So, hamburgers?"
"Well, actually, my family was gonna have a barbeque this afternoon. My cousin does a mean barbeque." Kiba made a show of licking his lips. "I could eat his burgers, or ribs, or anything else, until I popped."
"You would eat anything until you popped."
"I would not! Just most things."
Shino stood up and held out his hand. "Come on Kiba. We'll be back in time for barbeque."
Kiba took the offered hand. "We don't have to worry about it, once they start, it'll go on for a day or two actually. It's more of a family reunion and yearly party than an actual barbeque."
"Hn."
"Yeah. It's a lot of fun. There are contests, exhibitions, all kinds of stuff. Hey, you wanna check it out?"
"I won't be able to stay long enough for more than something to eat. My father has plans."
"Stay long enough to eat, and you could come back tomorrow morning?" Kiba threw out hopefully.
Shino let a small smile show. "I could."
"Hey, make sure you're here before ten. I've got a match."
"A match?"
"Yeah! To do determine our standing, you know." Akamaru let out a proud wuff.
"Like dogs?" Shino could believe it, coming from Kiba.
"More like wolves, but yeah. It can get pretty nasty, but that's usually only the old guys, who refuse a ref. With no ref, there's no one to stop you, and no one can interefere." He shrugged, hands out. "Of course, there are positions you have to fight like that for."
"Hn."
"So, where are we headed today, Shino?"
"Upriver."
"You mean to that big waterfall? That's not that far out. It's actually one of Naruto's 'secret' training grounds."
"Above it."
"Above it? At the top of the waterfall?" What's up there?
"Hn."
"Guess I'll see when we get there, huh?"
"Hn."
"Let's go then, right Akamaru?" Playful barking followed Kiba down the road. "Come on Shino, or I'll have Akamaru carry you!"
Knowing the threat wasn't just hot air, Shino picked up his feet. "Kiba."
"Yeah?"
"We have all morning. There's no need to hurry there. Enjoy the walk."
"But you move freakin' slow, Shino." Kiba returned to Shino's side, walking along sedately for all of ten feet before he grabbed Shino and dumped him into a leafy bush, effectivly resulting in a bush with sunglasses.
"Kiba!"
"I told you you were moving slow. If you were moving quicker I wouldn't have caught you."
"Yes, you would."
"Hh?"
"You're faster than me. You wouldn't have felt the need to dump me in the bush, however." Shino picked leaves from his hair brushed off dust. "Now I'm covered in dirt."
"No you're not. Your coat is. It's too warm to wear a coat, Shino. Let's drop it by my place."
"Kiba."
"I know, I know, you like your coat. It's still too hot."
"We've already passed your place."
"Oh. Akamaru can take it back for you." The large dog gave an agreeable whuff.
"Alright." Slowly, Shino removed his coat, revealing a black, formfitting t-shirt. He moved a number of things to the pockets of his pants instead of his coat before giving it to the dog, then looked up to see Kiba watching him. "What?"
"N-Nothing. I just didn't think you'd actually do it. You hardly ever take the damn thing off."
"It's only a coat Kiba."
"That's what I've been saying all this time!"
"Do we need to wait for Akamaru?"
"No, he'll catch up."
They were halfway to the waterfall when a stray kunai thudded into a tree, flashing just in front of their faces.
--------------------
"Again?"
"Shikamaru, I'm beginning to get tired of losing."
"We could play go instead."
"I'll stick to shogi." I don't lose as bad in shogi.
"You don't lose as bad in shogi."
Silence.
"You've gotten better though."
"Thank you." Neji replied wryly.
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"I'm not bored, though."
"That's good."
"You want a break don't you. You were halfway done with that book yesterday. You can probably finish it before your dad needs you."
Without a word, Neji picked up the book and laid back on the floor, stretching out.
Shikamaru watched him for a minute. He liked Neji. In a way that was entirely too troublesome. His father had explained it once. "One day, you'll find a person who ties you in knots, but you'll only want them to do it more." Troublesome, and completely unexpected, from his point of view. He looked up at the ceiling, noting that, once again, Neji was directly under the skylight. He put his genius to work. Maybe...
Neji was caught up in his book until he heard Shikamaru moving towards him, and nearly dropped the book when he felt his friend's head come to rest on his stomach, one hand behind his head. "Wha--" What the--?
"You're under the skylight."
That explained it. Except now he couldn't concentrate. "Shikamaru."
"Read your book Neji."
"Shikamaru."
"Shh. I'm counting dust motes." Maybe not the best of excuses, but maybe it would work.
Silence.
Which meant the answer was a good one, which was doubtful, Neji gave up, also doubtful, or so stupid he was shocked into silence. Far more likely.
"Seriously!?" The half shout gave him his answer. Definitely momentary shock.
"Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven, no wait, that''s two, fifty-eight."
"Shikamaru."
"Yes, Neji?"
"Why?" Neji was glaring uncomfortably at Shikamaru's head, though his friend made no effort to look up at him.
Umm... "Concentration training." Crap, that came out more like a question!
"Shikamaru, off."
"I'm comfortable."
"Meaning?"
"I don't want to move."
"Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru started counting again, this time out loud, in a last-ditch attempt to make Neji give up. He refused to let himself be distracted when he felt Neji shifting underneath him, and let out a mental sigh of relief when his friend didn't get up and move.
Neji stared at his counting friend in disbelief. Is he actually serious? When the counting didn't stop it faded into shocked belief. Putting effort into the attempt, Neji blocked out the counting and concentrated on reading the book. He shifted a few times before settling into the pages. I can't believe it.
--------------------
"Yo."
At the calm word behind him, Iruka jerked up, banging his head on the underside of the counter. "Ouch!"
"Oops. My bad."
"Yes, your bad, Kakashi. Don't you have some genin to go terrorize?" Iruka rubbed his head as he glared under his arm.
"But they aren't nearly as interesting as you, dear sensei."
Iruka stuck his head back into his sink's plumbing to hide as his face turned red. "Did you bring that book I wanted?"
"Yup. Trials and Tribulations, Traps for Tagalongs. Can't imagine what you'd need it for though." Kakashi said slowly.
"A student! A student! I'm a teacher, remember! Just leave it on the table will you, you'll be later than usual if you stick around here."
"It's fine. They're used to it by now. You might want to check that book before lending it to any students." Iruka shot him a look. "I'm serious. I've got notes in there that I don't want ruined, and I don't think you'd want students looking at them anyway."
Iruka froze. "What did you write Kakashi?"
"More like--drawings, actually." Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Heheh. Just a few of them."
"How many is a few, to you?"
"Oh, one or two." Kakashi continued in a murmur. "Per page."
"I heard that!" Iruka extracted himself from the pipework just in time to see Kakashi wave and vanish behind the front door. "Kakashi!"
The over-stressed teacher let out a tired sigh. Should've just called a plumber. Damned leak. He picked up the book, looking idly at the cover, then flipped open a few pages.
Before he reached the third page, he was red as a beet, and ready to hunt Kakashi down for a skinning session with sandpaper. And I hope it's painful! Kakashi had drawn pictures all right, pictures of Umino Iruka caught in rather embarrassing traps.
--------------------
"But, Hokage-sama, Gaara-san doesn't have anyone to spar with at home! It is my Duty to make sure our ally's leader is Fighting Fit. Isn't that right, Gai-sensei?"
"Uh-hm!"
"I will spar with him every day, I'll handle the necessary paperwork. It is my Springtime of Youth and it is my Duty. Right, Gai-sensei?"
"Uh-hm!"
"Hokage-sama, please grant my Request to be Konoha's Diplomat with all Haste." Lee stood at attention, basking in his sensei's approval and ignoring the stares of everyone else in the room.
He was volunteering to be Gaara's - Gaara's - punching bag for ten months out of the year.
Anyone would think him insane.
"Alright." All eyes focused on the Hokage. "On one condition."
"Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"You have a partner handle the paperwork, Lee."
"Understood. Permission to carry the good news?"
"Granted."
Lee vanished out the door, not hearing the long-suffering sighs of the people left behind him.
"Gaara! Gaara! I can go with you! But I have to find someone to go with me to handle paperwork! Hokage-sama still says I can't do paperwork. All because of one report. I simply told the Truth of the Situation, but I am no longer permitted to do them. So I--"
"Lee."
"--have to find--"
"Lee."
"Er, yes?"
"It is time to go."
"But I need someone--"
"How about him?" Gaara pointed to some poor desk-ninja.
"You mean Dai-san?"
"Him."
"O-okay, I guess. Hey, Dai-san, do you wanna come with Gaara and me?"
Dai-san vanished in a flurry of papers.
"I'll go tell Hokage-sama you're coming with us, okay Dai-san? Be right back!"
Lee was up the stairs and done with his message in ten seconds flat, before grabbing poor Dai-san from his closet and dragging him out the door after Gaara. "It'll be great, Dai-san. You'll handle all the paperwork you like and I'll spar every single day with Gaara, and it'll be lots of fun."
As they left the village gates, Lee was still chattering on, Dai-san begging for his life, and Gaara standing amidst his bodyguard looking somewhat shellshocked at Lee's obviuous enthusiasm for fighting with one of the most brutal fighters known among ninja.
--------------------
A/N: This is just the beginning folks. Anybody out there wants to comment, please do. Any kind of comment is welcome.
Chapter 1: What the hell?
Sasuke ignored the chaos going on around him. Everyone was holding a party. He wasn't even sure what the party was for, but he'd gotten dragged into it. He would much rather be training with Naruto by the river. It was quiet there, except for Naruto's screams, which he'd learned to tune out long ago. He stood up. "I'm leaving." He announced to the air.
"Come on Sasuke, relax and have a little fun for once."
"Naruto, go away."
"But Sasuke--"
"I don't like parties." He kept walking.
"Sasuke, Sasuke, I really don't think you want to leave."
He stopped. "Why is that, Naruto?"
"Umm... I'm not supposed to tell you, but, ahh, they've got blackmail pictures." He whispered, wide eyed. "I'd prefer to be training right now too, Sasuke, but these pictures, ah, they're a bit humiliating, even for me."
That got his attention. "What could possibly humiliate you?"
"Remember that day when we became genin?" The look on Naruto's face made it clear just what he was talking about.
"Who could possibly forget? I thought my mouth was going to rot off."
"Hey, me too! Anyway, some girl got a picture, and now she's decided to hold this party, and any party you're at gets lots of attention, and--"
"I get it. I think we need to get those pictures from her. Now."
"All right! I'll distract her, and Sasuke, you grab the pictures." Naruto was gone before Sasuke could grab him, already heading into the thick of the party.
Damn dobe, he's going to get caught! Sasuke ducked under an overhanging, forming a number of seals before returning. Now where is he? There! And she's got the pictures. Sasuke, being his usual self, walked casually past her, but his eyes flashed Sharingan red for a moment, and his hands flickered. Got 'em. "Oi, Naruto, let's get outta here."
Naruto looked up from where he was animatedly telling his story. "Huh? Oh, you got them already? I'm coming, just let me get some of this food first."
"Naruto!"
"I'm hungry!"
Sasuke glared, but gave up before the argument escalated. If he knew anything about Naruto, it was that you never got between him and food. If you did, it ended up taking twice as long to get what you wanted done than if you just let him eat in the first place. "Hurry it up dobe."
"Teme! I told you not to call me that!"
Fifteen minutes and ten ramen bowls later, they were on their way to the river, leaving the boring "party" behind.
"Hey, Sasuke, let me see the picture." Naruto said, holding out a hand.
"There's more than one."
"What!"
"There's more than one."
"I heard you, but what are they all of?"
"I haven't looked yet."
Naruto was well on his way to fuming, or steaming, or whatever it was Naruto did. "Well let's see 'em already!" He grabbed at Sasuke's pockets, dancing around him as they kept moving down the riverbank.
"You're going to fall in the river if you keep bouncing around like that." Sasuke warned. The last time Naruto fell, he landed in muddy clay, and it left his training clothes smelling nasty for a week.
"It's fine, fine! Just lemme see the pictures!" On cue, Naruto's left foot slipped mid-hop, and he teetered towards the water.
"N-Naruto!" Sasuke stepped back to avoid getting dragged in, but grabbed for Naruto's hand just the same. Unfortunately, his own feet met empty air, while his arm was caught by the now falling Naruto. "Damn it! Naruto!" Was all he could get out before they hit the water together.
When the water finished splashing back to the river, Sasuke realized he wasn't entirely soaked, though it was a near thing. He'd landed on top of Naruto, who was looking somewhat dazed, and more than a little soaked. This is...awkward. He's not nearly as bony as he looks, either.
"Uh?" He heard a moan from Naruto. "Sasuke?" When Naruto realized just how close Sasuke was he turned a bright red. "Hey, get off me will you? Ouch! I think I hit my head" He looked up when Sasuke froze on top of him. "Wha--"
"Down!" Sasuke pushed Naruto down as shuriken sliced through the air. What the hell?
--------------------
"Kiba! Akamaru! Your friend's here!" The voice rang through the compound, announcing Shino's presence before he even came into sight.
"Yeah! Let's go Akamaru! We'll get Shino good today!" It had become longstanding tradition for them to try and sneak up on Shino as he approached Kiba's house, resulting in an acute ability to sense each other's presence, something Kiba didn't understand, but accounted for the fact that he never actually surprised Shino.
Once in a while, to humor Kiba, Shino let him surprise him. Usually he only did that if Kiba wasn't feeling well, or if they'd fought over something. And once in a while he just felt like letting Kiba tackle him and getting in a nice scuffle.
So where's he coming from today? Shino wondered, feeling out the area around him. There's Akamaru, now Kiba is--
His thoughts came to an crashing halt as he was hit solidly from behind.
Oh, he was behind me.
"Hey Shino! I gotcha this time?" Kiba grappled Shino, pinning him to the ground.
"I never thought you would simply follow the road. I was looking in the bushes." Shino turned his head to look at Kiba. "May I get up now?"
"Wha? Oh, yeah, sorry. Hey, it's my turn to pick where we eat, 'cause I surprised ya. Any preferences?" Kiba knew that Shino wasn't a big fan of cheese hamburgers, but put up with them once in a while to keep Kiba happy.
"If you want hamburgers, we can eat hamburbers Kiba. I simply ask that you be sure they are real meat this time." He turned slightly green at the memory.
Kiba grinned sheepishly at his friend. "Sorry about that Shino. I, ah--"
"It's nothing, Kiba, just make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Right." Akamaru slipped out of the bushes and plopped himself down by Kiba.
"So, hamburgers?"
"Well, actually, my family was gonna have a barbeque this afternoon. My cousin does a mean barbeque." Kiba made a show of licking his lips. "I could eat his burgers, or ribs, or anything else, until I popped."
"You would eat anything until you popped."
"I would not! Just most things."
Shino stood up and held out his hand. "Come on Kiba. We'll be back in time for barbeque."
Kiba took the offered hand. "We don't have to worry about it, once they start, it'll go on for a day or two actually. It's more of a family reunion and yearly party than an actual barbeque."
"Hn."
"Yeah. It's a lot of fun. There are contests, exhibitions, all kinds of stuff. Hey, you wanna check it out?"
"I won't be able to stay long enough for more than something to eat. My father has plans."
"Stay long enough to eat, and you could come back tomorrow morning?" Kiba threw out hopefully.
Shino let a small smile show. "I could."
"Hey, make sure you're here before ten. I've got a match."
"A match?"
"Yeah! To do determine our standing, you know." Akamaru let out a proud wuff.
"Like dogs?" Shino could believe it, coming from Kiba.
"More like wolves, but yeah. It can get pretty nasty, but that's usually only the old guys, who refuse a ref. With no ref, there's no one to stop you, and no one can interefere." He shrugged, hands out. "Of course, there are positions you have to fight like that for."
"Hn."
"So, where are we headed today, Shino?"
"Upriver."
"You mean to that big waterfall? That's not that far out. It's actually one of Naruto's 'secret' training grounds."
"Above it."
"Above it? At the top of the waterfall?" What's up there?
"Hn."
"Guess I'll see when we get there, huh?"
"Hn."
"Let's go then, right Akamaru?" Playful barking followed Kiba down the road. "Come on Shino, or I'll have Akamaru carry you!"
Knowing the threat wasn't just hot air, Shino picked up his feet. "Kiba."
"Yeah?"
"We have all morning. There's no need to hurry there. Enjoy the walk."
"But you move freakin' slow, Shino." Kiba returned to Shino's side, walking along sedately for all of ten feet before he grabbed Shino and dumped him into a leafy bush, effectivly resulting in a bush with sunglasses.
"Kiba!"
"I told you you were moving slow. If you were moving quicker I wouldn't have caught you."
"Yes, you would."
"Hh?"
"You're faster than me. You wouldn't have felt the need to dump me in the bush, however." Shino picked leaves from his hair brushed off dust. "Now I'm covered in dirt."
"No you're not. Your coat is. It's too warm to wear a coat, Shino. Let's drop it by my place."
"Kiba."
"I know, I know, you like your coat. It's still too hot."
"We've already passed your place."
"Oh. Akamaru can take it back for you." The large dog gave an agreeable whuff.
"Alright." Slowly, Shino removed his coat, revealing a black, formfitting t-shirt. He moved a number of things to the pockets of his pants instead of his coat before giving it to the dog, then looked up to see Kiba watching him. "What?"
"N-Nothing. I just didn't think you'd actually do it. You hardly ever take the damn thing off."
"It's only a coat Kiba."
"That's what I've been saying all this time!"
"Do we need to wait for Akamaru?"
"No, he'll catch up."
They were halfway to the waterfall when a stray kunai thudded into a tree, flashing just in front of their faces.
--------------------
"Again?"
"Shikamaru, I'm beginning to get tired of losing."
"We could play go instead."
"I'll stick to shogi." I don't lose as bad in shogi.
"You don't lose as bad in shogi."
Silence.
"You've gotten better though."
"Thank you." Neji replied wryly.
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"I'm not bored, though."
"That's good."
"You want a break don't you. You were halfway done with that book yesterday. You can probably finish it before your dad needs you."
Without a word, Neji picked up the book and laid back on the floor, stretching out.
Shikamaru watched him for a minute. He liked Neji. In a way that was entirely too troublesome. His father had explained it once. "One day, you'll find a person who ties you in knots, but you'll only want them to do it more." Troublesome, and completely unexpected, from his point of view. He looked up at the ceiling, noting that, once again, Neji was directly under the skylight. He put his genius to work. Maybe...
Neji was caught up in his book until he heard Shikamaru moving towards him, and nearly dropped the book when he felt his friend's head come to rest on his stomach, one hand behind his head. "Wha--" What the--?
"You're under the skylight."
That explained it. Except now he couldn't concentrate. "Shikamaru."
"Read your book Neji."
"Shikamaru."
"Shh. I'm counting dust motes." Maybe not the best of excuses, but maybe it would work.
Silence.
Which meant the answer was a good one, which was doubtful, Neji gave up, also doubtful, or so stupid he was shocked into silence. Far more likely.
"Seriously!?" The half shout gave him his answer. Definitely momentary shock.
"Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven, no wait, that''s two, fifty-eight."
"Shikamaru."
"Yes, Neji?"
"Why?" Neji was glaring uncomfortably at Shikamaru's head, though his friend made no effort to look up at him.
Umm... "Concentration training." Crap, that came out more like a question!
"Shikamaru, off."
"I'm comfortable."
"Meaning?"
"I don't want to move."
"Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru started counting again, this time out loud, in a last-ditch attempt to make Neji give up. He refused to let himself be distracted when he felt Neji shifting underneath him, and let out a mental sigh of relief when his friend didn't get up and move.
Neji stared at his counting friend in disbelief. Is he actually serious? When the counting didn't stop it faded into shocked belief. Putting effort into the attempt, Neji blocked out the counting and concentrated on reading the book. He shifted a few times before settling into the pages. I can't believe it.
--------------------
"Yo."
At the calm word behind him, Iruka jerked up, banging his head on the underside of the counter. "Ouch!"
"Oops. My bad."
"Yes, your bad, Kakashi. Don't you have some genin to go terrorize?" Iruka rubbed his head as he glared under his arm.
"But they aren't nearly as interesting as you, dear sensei."
Iruka stuck his head back into his sink's plumbing to hide as his face turned red. "Did you bring that book I wanted?"
"Yup. Trials and Tribulations, Traps for Tagalongs. Can't imagine what you'd need it for though." Kakashi said slowly.
"A student! A student! I'm a teacher, remember! Just leave it on the table will you, you'll be later than usual if you stick around here."
"It's fine. They're used to it by now. You might want to check that book before lending it to any students." Iruka shot him a look. "I'm serious. I've got notes in there that I don't want ruined, and I don't think you'd want students looking at them anyway."
Iruka froze. "What did you write Kakashi?"
"More like--drawings, actually." Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Heheh. Just a few of them."
"How many is a few, to you?"
"Oh, one or two." Kakashi continued in a murmur. "Per page."
"I heard that!" Iruka extracted himself from the pipework just in time to see Kakashi wave and vanish behind the front door. "Kakashi!"
The over-stressed teacher let out a tired sigh. Should've just called a plumber. Damned leak. He picked up the book, looking idly at the cover, then flipped open a few pages.
Before he reached the third page, he was red as a beet, and ready to hunt Kakashi down for a skinning session with sandpaper. And I hope it's painful! Kakashi had drawn pictures all right, pictures of Umino Iruka caught in rather embarrassing traps.
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"But, Hokage-sama, Gaara-san doesn't have anyone to spar with at home! It is my Duty to make sure our ally's leader is Fighting Fit. Isn't that right, Gai-sensei?"
"Uh-hm!"
"I will spar with him every day, I'll handle the necessary paperwork. It is my Springtime of Youth and it is my Duty. Right, Gai-sensei?"
"Uh-hm!"
"Hokage-sama, please grant my Request to be Konoha's Diplomat with all Haste." Lee stood at attention, basking in his sensei's approval and ignoring the stares of everyone else in the room.
He was volunteering to be Gaara's - Gaara's - punching bag for ten months out of the year.
Anyone would think him insane.
"Alright." All eyes focused on the Hokage. "On one condition."
"Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"You have a partner handle the paperwork, Lee."
"Understood. Permission to carry the good news?"
"Granted."
Lee vanished out the door, not hearing the long-suffering sighs of the people left behind him.
"Gaara! Gaara! I can go with you! But I have to find someone to go with me to handle paperwork! Hokage-sama still says I can't do paperwork. All because of one report. I simply told the Truth of the Situation, but I am no longer permitted to do them. So I--"
"Lee."
"--have to find--"
"Lee."
"Er, yes?"
"It is time to go."
"But I need someone--"
"How about him?" Gaara pointed to some poor desk-ninja.
"You mean Dai-san?"
"Him."
"O-okay, I guess. Hey, Dai-san, do you wanna come with Gaara and me?"
Dai-san vanished in a flurry of papers.
"I'll go tell Hokage-sama you're coming with us, okay Dai-san? Be right back!"
Lee was up the stairs and done with his message in ten seconds flat, before grabbing poor Dai-san from his closet and dragging him out the door after Gaara. "It'll be great, Dai-san. You'll handle all the paperwork you like and I'll spar every single day with Gaara, and it'll be lots of fun."
As they left the village gates, Lee was still chattering on, Dai-san begging for his life, and Gaara standing amidst his bodyguard looking somewhat shellshocked at Lee's obviuous enthusiasm for fighting with one of the most brutal fighters known among ninja.
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A/N: This is just the beginning folks. Anybody out there wants to comment, please do. Any kind of comment is welcome.